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Simon, with 15 years of sobriety, shares how he did. Three years ago, Simon started the Hope Rehab Center  in Thailand and has been helping people change transform their lives.

I recently read the book “This Naked Mind – Control Alcohol” by Annie Grace and the chapter covering the how the brain worked was fascinating.

Conscious: Aware of something, knowing that something exists or is happening.

Unconscious: The part of the mind a person is not aware of but is a powerful force in controlling behavior.

Consciousness: Being aware of something within oneself. The upper level of mental life that a person is aware of as contrasted with unconscious process.

Warning: This may blow your mind…

• The unconscious mind is responsible for desires.
• Studies show we have two separate thinking systems: the conscious mind and the unconscious mind.
• When we want something to change in our life, we usually make a conscious decision. However, drinking is no longer a conscious decision.
• The unconscious mind doesn’t always get the memo!
• Unconscious learning happens automatically and unintentionally.
• We are conditioned to think drinking enhances our lives and makes us happy.
• This is why when we want to drink less, our unconscious mind tells us to drink more. [Insert major dilemma here.]
• We have been conditioned to believe in alcohol. To believe that me and some random Captain would make it happen.
• The unconscious mind is not logical. It’s comprised of feelings, experiences and observations. It’s the source of love, jealousy, fear, kindness and sadness.
• When a person makes a decision to quit drinking alcohol, their unconscious mind is never in on that conversation. I have to say, “Gary, pull up a chair, let’s have a chat.”
• Studies dating back to the 1970’s indicate our unconscious mind makes a decision 1/3 of a second faster than our conscious mind.
• The unconscious mind controls the emotions. When someone tells you to stop having a bad day, that never works. But over time, positive reinforcement can work.
• Liminal thinking, which we will get to in later podcast episodes, is how will cover how to converse with the unconscious mind.
• The unconscious mind is formed by beliefs, conclusions, assumptions, experiences and observations. Often, it is far separated from reality which is where the conscious mind lives.
• Our culture of ‘drinking makes everything better’ has been ingrained into our unconscious mind without us ever knowing. One easy way to challenge this, which we often never do, is to look for external validity. For example, bud light makes you a better beach volleyball player. Go to a beach and try to find a real life example if this. It won’t happen!
• We let the unconscious mind determine our thinking because we like certainty. In the conscious mind, there is so much unknown and that is always scary. The unconscious mind is a bubble of safety where we feel comfortable.
• Why did I find it so hard to quit drinking? Well, I knew I wouldn’t have a good time at a social event sober, I knew I wasn’t funny, I knew I wouldn’t be able to chat with girls. I never stood a chance at quitting drinking unless a pain point was strong enough, aka, the bottom.
• We can address this by bringing unconscious experiences, observations, assumptions and conclusions, into conscious thought. We do this through knowledge and practice.
• Before we drank alcohol, we were happy joyous and free, we didn’t miss it.
• The Author Terry Pratchett says, “We need to be able to at any time, accept that fact that we all could be absolute and utterly wrong.”

 

SHOW NOTES

[ 11:43 ] Paul Introduces Simon

Simon is from the U.K. and now lives in Thailand. Simon has been sober for 15 years. He is 53 and is so grateful to be alive. Simon loves traveling.

[ 12:58 ] What was your bottom? When did you finally decide to stop drinking?

“I think I had many bottoms. Rock bottoms. My absolute rock bottom came when I overdosed as a heroine addict – I woke up alone on my kitchen flow with the syringe still in my arm. My mother was leaving food parcels outside my front door and I realized that my mother would have been the one who found me if I did not wake up. This drove me to get help again. It was a 12-step rehab and I fully embraced it.”

[ 15:22 ] Where did alcohol play a part in all this?

It played a part consistently throughout, often alcohol was the substitute for drugs. “I’m an addict and an alcoholic, but to me they are just words.” The foundation of this 15 years in recovery was in AA. I went to AA seeking some maturity and rigorous direction from a sponsor. My last bottom took me to a place where I was willing to do anything to recover.

[ 17:45 ] On Simon’s Center in Thailand – Hope Rehab Center

It’s a traditional, 12-step rehab center combined with contemporary methods like mindfulness and fitness. We also use CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) to address thinking patterns that may be destructive. We do detox for both alcoholic and drug-users.

[ 19:38 ] Mindfulness

It encourages a practice whereby a person doesn’t engage in their thoughts. It’s more about letting go of the thoughts, letting them flow by, clearing the mind. “Being present in the moment.”

[ 21:19 ] How many times have you been to rehab?

“Luckily I got the opportunity to go many times, 12 times, but please understand that a number of times I left very, very quickly. I would run. Demand my possessions. And run. No one could have stopped me. I wouldn’t follow through and then the same old gremlins and demons would come up.”

[ 24:00 ] Paul summarizes the roadmap to recover. One is too many and one thousand is not enough…

[ 28:53 ] What are your success rates at Hope Rehab Center?

This is a very, very serious business. It’s a life and death disease. The people are very passionate, it’s a very high-stress job. ‘We’ are up against big odds. It has to do with personal motivation, the motivation of the client. We are very, very strict and take only highly motivated participants.

[ 36:38 ] What is the stigma like in Thailand?

[ 42:11 ] What does your recovery portfolio look like today? Walk me through a day of Simon.

In my early recovery I was a gardener and I went to at least one meeting a day. I knew that I needed to stay real close. I began to mature and then to travel. I continued with self development and participated in the Mankind Project, developing my consciousness and spirituality.

 

[49:19] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? “Waking up on the dock in Athens, Greece with no money, covered in scrapes and bruises, feeling so sick and not knowing how I was going to get back to England.”
2. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? “I think I swapped my first car for some drugs.”
3. What is your favorite resource in recovery? “It’s a personal choice, but the third step, the spiritual, has made all the difference to me.”
4. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? “Let it go. Just let it go.”
5. What parting piece of guidance can you give to our listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? “Reach out and accept some help. We can’t do it alone. We need to do it together.”

QUOTABLES

“When you do something mindfully it means focusing your intention solely on a thing.” – Simon

“I cannot afford to do it once. Not once.” – Simon

“Don’t live in ‘No Man’s Land,’ that place where you’re not really happy, but you’re not unhappy enough to do anything about it. Don’t passively accept what comes your way; drive your life toward what you really want.” – Anthony Robbins

 

Resources Mentioned in this Episode

Connect with Cafe RE

• Cafe RE Meetup in Chicago Oct. 14-16 – If you’d like to join us, head over to Cafe RE!
• For $12.00 per month, you can unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via meetups, private-unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel.
• First month FREE with Promo Code Elevator.

Promo Code: Elevator

Hope Rehab Thailand Center

Hope Rehab Center on Facebook

Mankind Project

 

“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”

 

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