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Today we have Alyssa. She is 30 years old from Vancouver, WA and took her last drink on September 5th, 2024.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Next Monday, our five-week course called Ditching the Booze. This is our alcohol-free 101 crash course and is included with Café RE membership. All sessions are live and you’re tuning in with others who are in the same spot as you. The sessions are also recorded in case you can’t attend.
On Tuesday, April 1st, registration opens for our flagship retreat in Bozeman which is always a lot of fun. In addition to our lake hangout, breathwork and recovery workshops, we’re also playing laser tag.
[03:20] Thoughts from Paul:
Today Paul talks about why alcohol can be so hard to quit, why the process of quitting can take years and can contain many stops and starts.
Addiction guru Gabor Mate says, “addictions are always a human response to pain, suffering and trauma”. We are constantly in search of homeostasis. When we find something effective at helping us find this relief, it becomes our first technique to use when we are in pain. After drinking long enough, you’ll get to the point where you only feel good, or dopamine will only be created when we are drinking.
It takes time after quitting drinking for our body to naturally create dopamine on its own. You will need to learn new routines, create new habits and figure out a way to fill the time that used to be spent drinking. Paul shares with us several other reasons quitting drinking is hard.
Why do you think quitting drinking is so hard?
Comment on RE’s Instagram page. There’s a post for today’s episode.
[09:02] Paul introduces Alyssa:
Alyssa lives in Vancouver, WA with her fiancé and two Rotskis. She currently works as a server and in her free time she enjoys reading and traveling with her fiancé. They are currently trying to determine where they are going to move to be closer to family.
Alyssa says she had an early introduction to alcohol but never really considered it an issue until she met her fiancé who doesn’t drink. For years, everyone around her drank so she didn’t notice her own drinking.
Alyssa’s drinking increased slowly but became daily during the pandemic. In 2021 she read Easy Way to Quit Drinking by Allen Carr and was able to stop for a few months.
For Alyssa, her drinking began to create an inner turmoil, and it started to erode her confidence because she was making promises to herself and then breaking them by drinking instead of accomplishing her goals. After quitting for a period of time, Alyssa thought that she would be able to moderate. In time, she says, she was right back where she was.
After moving in with her father while they save up to find their own place, Alyssa says the lack of goals and uncertainty of the future found her drinking more to cope. She was no longer active and was losing self-esteem while anxiety and depression took hold. At the bottom of her heart, Alyssa knew that eliminating alcohol would help fix the way she was feeling.
Alyssa chose a quit date and started seeking sober podcasts and books to prepare, including This Naked Mind. It was after a night out with friends that Alyssa told her fiancé that she didn’t want to drink anymore. He was very supportive of her decision and offered to help however he could.
Alyssa continued to read This Naked Mind and participated in a 30-day sober challenge. This paired with the liberation she felt from her decision led to a pink cloud experience for Alyssa. Anxiety and depression started to lift quickly. Going forward, she is trying to figure out what she wants to do in the future, and she believes in sobriety the options are endless.
Alyssa’s parting piece of guidance: Just listen to that little voice. Give sobriety as many chances as you gave alcohol.
Recovery Elevator
Rule 22: lighten up – let’s do our best not to take ourselves too seriously.
I love you guys.
