RE 171: The Reality of Alcohol and Where it Can Take us

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The path of sobriety is not always easy. Many of us will stumble, fall, relapse and find ourselves back at square one. It’s not the end of the world. When we relapse, we have the opportunity to learn from our mistakes and, if necessary, reinvent ourselves.

Tamara, with 48 days since her last drink, shares her story…

SHOW NOTES

[3:57] Paul Introduces Tamara.

Tamara is 31 years old, from Nashville, Tennessee. For fun, she enjoys cooking, the outdoors, and spending time with loved ones.

[7:00] When did you realize you wanted to quit drinking?

Her first drink was on her 21^st birthday. She drank through her 20s. She had alcohol abuse in her family. She thought her family was wrong by hiding alcohol from her. She thought it was fun. The progression of her alcoholism snuck up on her. She assumed it was healthy and normal. She went through a big period of change that left her unsatisfied.

[15:30] Did you put any rules into place when you tried to quit drinking?

Yes. She would try to limit other bad activities and use drinking as a reward. She tried to abstain for a month with a friend. She convinced herself to keep drinking. Each year the rules would narrow until she stopped trying to do her cleanses. She began to realize that she had a problem but she kept trying to fix other areas of her life, hoping it would fix her drinking. Her ex told her about recovery elevator. After listening she realized that she wasn’t alone.

[22:28] After drinking, what was it like without alcohol?

Weird. She experienced physical withdrawal symptoms like anxiety. Then she felt great.. experienced a pink cloud.

[24:40] Has everyone in your life been on board with your lifestyle change?

No. Her family and coworkers have been supportive but not everyone.

[26:45] What do you think brought on your relapse? What did you take away?

She went on a work trip. Everyone else was drinking. She didn’t yet have her recovery ingrained enough to handle the environment. She now is working on a more holistic recovery strategy.

[29:23] Walk us through a typical day in your recovery.

She tries to work on her recovery daily. She says the prayer of serenity. She meditates. She tries to avoid negative news and media. Her morning routine helps her stay in the right frame of mind to handle anything life can throw at her.

[31:20] What have you learned about yourself in sobriety so far?

She learned that she deserves the things that she wants. She sees more of the bigger picture now. She’s not afraid to relate to different kinds of people. She focuses more on her values and ignores the noise. She makes more of an effort to show up and work on herself first.

[32:50] What’s on your bucket list in sobriety?

She wants to work the steps.

[33:30] Rapid Fire Round

What was your worst memory from drinking?
Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment?
She started cutting herself to help deal with the deep depression she was experiencing. It helped her feel in control of herself. One night she cut herself too deeply and she had to go to the emergency room.
What’s your plan moving forward?She’s going to continue to work it to her best ability. She wants to continue adding tools to her recovery portfolio.
What’s your favorite resource in recovery?Cafe RE. The community in your online recovery community.
What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)?
“What is your motivation?” When there is no clear-cut ethical guide, she has to get to the bottom of her own intentions.
What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking?
You are not alone. The recovery community is huge and willing to share with you. Share your story. There is no shame.
You might be an alcoholic if…
“when discussing oral surgery with your physician, your first concern is how quickly you will be able to drink wine afterwards.”“What’s in the water bottle? … vodka.. just kidding! .. it’s actually vodka.”