RE 172: Bravery: Ready to Face and Endure Danger or Pain

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Bravery: Ready to face and endure danger or pain. Showing Courage.

Many times in life we come face to face with our next step. We can see clearly the path ahead that will lead to our next “level up”. We can know everything there is to know about our plight and circumstances. We can possess the very map that will lead us to the next door. But when the time comes, sometimes we hesitate to open it.

In sobriety, you have to be willing to fail. People who seek sobriety are a particular kind of brave. They imagine another way to be and actively seek it out, even if it means going against the grain or swimming upstream.

It’s important to note that being brave and/or courageous does not mean being without fear. Feeling fear is not only normal, but it’s an important part of the process.

The growth we seek lies not in running from fear, but in embracing it and, if possible, learning from it. Fear can be a profound and necessary teacher. Bring brave and courageous means that instead of avoiding fear, we compassionately face it and move forward with it as an ally in our sobriety portfolio.

Individual bravery becomes amplified and much more powerful when supported by the collective bravery of the sobriety community.

Beth, with 6 months since her last drink, shares her story…

SHOW NOTES

[8:50] Paul Introduces Beth.

Beth has been sober for just over 6 months. She’s 39 years old. She’s a mother of 3 from New Jersey. She’s a special education teacher. She loves the outdoors, sports, art, and music. She is learning skateboarding from her 9-year-old nephew.

[11:38] When did you realize you had a problem with drinking?

She started drinking heavily in college in an attempt to deal with social situations and have fun. She always felt different from other people, and was also dealing with a recent death in the family. She had easy access to alcohol in school. She moved to New York City right before the attack on the World Trade Center. She used alcohol to deal with stress and difficult emotions.

[16:40] Did you ever try to put any rules into place to moderate?

Yes. She would try to regulate the times she could drink. She would try to regulate when she was allowed to drink hard alcohol.

[18:25] How much were you drinking before you quit?

She drank nightly. Red wine helped her deal with stress when dealing with her kid’s homework.

[20:15] Did you reach a rock bottom?

She drank while taking her kids out for Halloween. She drank a lot and experienced a bad hangover. She began to worry about whether or not she was a good mother. She discovered the podcast and began to listen. She decided to become sober and joined Cafe RE.

[26:20] What was it like at first when you quit?

She was excited. She told a few close friends and family members. She wanted to get back into running. She felt great. She avoided concerts and other places where she used to drink. She did whatever it took to not drink.

[28:45] Have you changed your mind about AA now that you’re sober?

It was a complete 180 degree change. She began to feel more connected and she related to them more than before. She is looking forward to expanding her recovery community.

[33:45] How has your perception changed?

She knows she’s on the right track, but she is starting to fear relapsing. She is trying to break free from her perfectionist mentality. She is facing and processing a lot of shame from her past. She appreciates the benefits from her newly found clarity.

[37:50] What happened when you accidentally posted your sobriety on Facebook?

She received some unexpected messages of support from different moms in her social network. She gave others the info for getting help. She believes alcohol is a real gateway drug.

[41:24] Rapid Fire Round

What was your worst memory from drinking?
Her birthday in NYC. After a night of dinner and drinks, she passed out on the floor next to her apartment door.
Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment?
She went to a concert for her daughter’s birthday. She needed beer badly. She made her kids wait in line forever so she could get a beer.
What’s your plan moving forward?To continue staying healthy. Be more present with her kids. Get more organized. Find comfort within herself. She’s more happy with who she is.
What’s your favorite resource in recovery?Cafe RE group because it will forward you to other great resources.
What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)?
What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking?
If one drink is not enough, then it’s time to stop drinking. The poison has already begun to take effect. It’s not worth it. Trust your gut.
You might be an alcoholic if…
“You’re pregnant, and you haven’t told anyone. You say you’re not drinking to someone, and they assume you’re pregnant because you usually will always have a drink.”