Kris Oyen, Author at Recovery Elevator

RE 521: The Drunkest Place in America

by Kris Oyen | Feb 10, 2025 | Podcast

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

Today we have Dave. He is 69 years old from Beaver Creek, CO. He took his last drink in September 17^th, 2024.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

Sober Link – receive $50 off of a device

If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. Come join the party!

Tonight begins our first ever AF Songwriting Course starting at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.

[02:40] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares an article from the San Francisco Chronicle regarding the tanking sales of red wine in San Francisco restaurants. All alcohol sales were down but mocktail sales were up.

Many people share that it’s tough to quit drinking where they live. Paul discovered a statistic from the CDC that says where he lives in Gallatin County, Montana is listed as the drunkest of all 3,244 counties in America.

In the state of Montana, they place a white cross on the road where traffic fatalities occur in hopes of reminding drivers to take caution and slow down. 66% of these white crosses are alcohol related.

There is no judgement towards those that are still binge drinking. At Recovery Elevator, we are not better than anyone, we have just chosen a different path. If you feel called to walk this pathway with us, we’d love to have you.

[10:01] Paul introduces Dave:

Dave lives in Beaver Creek, CO with his dog Tango. He is very active in the AA community in his area and cherishes the connections he has made there. He enjoys skiing, biking, and traveling. He has three kids and recently became a grandfather. Dave is currently seeking his master’s degree in clinical counseling.

Alcohol was present in Dave’s life growing up as his parents drank socially. He drank socially as well throughout high school and college. He drinking didn’t become problematic until later. Dave shares that his alcohol use disorder stemmed from his chronic childhood emotional trauma. Alcohol later became the solution to dealing with unwanted emotions.

In 2016 after raising his kids independently and a relationship had ended, Dave started to use drinking to deal with some voids in his life. He had a successful commercial real estate business but didn’t have many local friends at the time.

Dave went to rehab in 2017 after having two DUIs in December of 2016. He was able to stay sober until 2021 and says again it was emotional overwhelm that sparked more field research. He found help in a psychologist who was a clinical director of a rehab facility. He was able to get sober again in July of 2021.

A reunion in September of 2024 found Dave having beers with friends thinking he would just have a few and would be fine. Dave had more the next day and realized that if he didn’t clear the rest of the alcohol out at the end of the day, he would continue to drink. Dave credits his tools and connection in AA to being able to get sober once again.

Dave is huge on connection. Both connections with people and connections with a higher power. He enjoys going to meetings and being of service to others in the community. Dave says one of the greatest gifts of sobriety for him is giving up control of outcomes. He chooses to deal with emotional overwhelm is awareness and since he no longer has alcohol in his system it is easier for him to be aware of what is happening. Dave is a big believer in journaling because of the connection from the hand to the head. When he puts his feelings on paper, he can see rational versus irrational thoughts.

Dave’s parting piece of guidance: stay with your feelings, journal about them.

Dave is looking for internship that involves 200 hours of direct engagement of one-on-one counseling with or without supervision. If you can help, reach out to info@recoveryelevator.com.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up.

You can do this.

RE 520: The Next Party Begins

by Kris Oyen | Feb 3, 2025 | Podcast

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

Today we have Kathy. She is 57 years old from Phoenix, AZ. She took her last drink on October 21^st, 2024.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

Registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens today, as we are going back to Peru October 4^th – 15^th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we’re doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.

Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.

[02:43] Thoughts from Paul:

At the end of last week’s episode, I discussed how certain chapters in our lives might be closing, particularly those involving drinking and all the associated antics. As Yung Pueblo poetically expressed, endings are a natural part of life. The universe thrives on cycles, where every beginning anticipates an eventual end. Embrace this closure, grieve it, if necessary, write a farewell letter and consign it to the flames if it helps. But remember, alongside the end of the partying comes the end of hangovers, bloating, puffy eyes, heartburn, and a myriad of other unpleasant side effects.

Let yourself mourn the end of this chapter. For me, the cessation of drinking heralded a new beginning in September 2014. Let’s explore what awaits after setting the bottle aside—a life free from elevated liver enzymes.

Five months ago, I asked our Instagram followers to describe sobriety in three words. The prevailing themes were peace, energy, and presence. I can’t predict your future, but I can assure you that whatever it holds, you’ll face it with more vitality, tranquility, and mindfulness. This journey is far from solitary, as more Americans are reducing their alcohol intake.

So, as one party ends, another begins, brimming with the promise of a healthier, more vibrant life.

[06:09] Paul introduces Kathy:

Kathy is 57 years old, is divorced and lives in Phoenix, AZ with her husky mix named Mario. She works in big data analytics. For fun, Kathy enjoys walking her dog, hiking, riding a mountain bike, kayak and read. She enjoys memoirs, thrillers and enjoys Quit Lit.

Kathy says her drinking was in the moderate category for many years. In her forties she became part of a friend group that enjoyed drinking and spending time on the lake together. Kathy was comfortable letting her hair down and didn’t have any fears of becoming an alcoholic.

Kathy did begin to question her drinking after it started noticeably affecting her sleep and how she felt the next day. She explored some Quit Lit and since her drinking didn’t look like the author’s, Kathy decided it wasn’t bad enough to stop completely but would try to cut back a bit and skip days here and there.

When Kathy was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer, the doctors put her on pills she couldn’t drink with. It was a relief to her to have to stop, but was surprised how little support others would have for her not drinking. After her oncologist told her she could drink a little, she started drinking again. A constant cycle of ramping up and ramping down began.

After some issues with her white blood count, Kathy had to quit for three weeks awaiting a blood test. She decided to join Café RE for support to quit drinking. Kathy really identifies with gray area drinking and has found stories from other people helpful in continuing her pursuit of quitting drinking. She prefers her life without alcohol and hopes to continue. She says her sleep has improved and she looks forward to lifting weight again, traveling and being cancer-free.

Kathy’s parting piece of guidance: if you’re questioning it, just start talking to sober people, join Café RE, seek out more podcasts, whatever.

Recovery Elevator

Alcohol is shit and we both know it.

I love you guys.

RE 519: Oh My

by Kris Oyen | Jan 27, 2025 | Podcast

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

Today we have Nick. He is 41 and lives in Richfield, MN. He took his last drink on November 8^th, 2023.

In one week, registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens, as we are going back to Peru October 4^th – 15^th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we’re doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.

Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

[03:19] Thoughts from Paul:

Imagine if aliens were cruising the universe and made a stop on planet Earth and they saw human beings drinking a substance that appeared to be damaging their lives.

But first, this is revealing of the power of the unconscious mind, or the paradigms in our society. If you take crack, cocaine, heroin and meth and right off the bat it’s like, yeah, that will fuck your life up. But with alcohol, which has the data to show it’s the most dangerous drug on the planet, it’s flipped. Thankfully the correct messaging is starting to come out, but we have a way to go still.

Paul shares what he imagines would be the conversation between aliens and humans as they begin to ask questions about why we humans are consuming a toxic substance that has no health benefits and leaves them incapacitated the next morning.

[08:24] Paul introduces Nick:

Nick is married with three young children. He says he is a pop culture aficionado. He enjoys hunting, fishing, camping and spending time at their cabin a few hours away. Nick is big into fitness as well.

Being around alcohol was a normal thing for Nick growing up. He drank some in high school but hit the ground running in college with all the typical vices. He says he never had any major consequences and did well in school. The “work hard, play hard” mentality ran strong even after college.

Nick met his wife on a flight and soon after they began a long-distance relationship. Around this time Nick says his drinking was causing some negative behavior and people were noticing. A comment from his dad had Nick feeling some embarrassment so he started trying to moderate his drinking by limiting his consumption while socializing but drinking more at home alone.

After attempting to moderate with the use of an app, Nick found himself drinking more in secret. He and his wife would have conversations about it, but he wasn’t ready to quit. Nick was hiding bottles of alcohol throughout the house and drinking daily and going out less, so it wasn’t as obvious to others that he had an issue. It was a constant battle in his mind.

One afternoon, Nick drove with his wife to pick up their daughter from preschool. When he came out of the school, his wife had taken the driver’s seat. He had driven to the school drunk, and she decided enough was enough. She took them to the police station and had him arrested. When he came by the house the next day he expected her to kick him out but instead she hugged him and shared she just wanted him to get better.

Nick was able to stay sober for three months, but wasn’t doing it for himself so it didn’t stick. His drinking ended up worse than ever after that until he finally hit rock bottom. He wasn’t doing well physically or mentally at this point. He woke one morning and decided to go to treatment that week.

Nick threw himself into treatment and experimented with several modalities. In the past he was resistant to AA but now embraces it as an abundant resource and enjoys the community. Nick’s health has greatly improved, and he has been able to get off of all medications in addition to ditching the booze. Fitness is his medicine now, Nick says.

Nick’s parting piece of guidance: You can do it. Do it for yourself, don’t do it for someone else.

Recovery Elevator

Alcohol is shit and we both know it.

I love you guys.

RE 518: Your Idea of Good Evolves

by Kris Oyen | Jan 20, 2025 | Podcast

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

Episode 518 – Your Idea of Good Evolves

Today we have Ashley. She’s 25 years old from Spokane, WA and took her last drink on September 22^nd, 2024.

Sponsor for this episode:

Better Help – 10% off your first month

This February, we are doing our first ever alcohol-free singer-songwriter course. In this six-week course you’re going to connect with other sober musicians. You’re going to improve your songwriting skills and hear from professional musicians. We will all write our own songs which we will share in the last week.

Registration is open for Recovery Elevator’s first ever Men’s Retreat will be April 5^th through the 12^th in Costa Rica.

[03:17] Thoughts from Paul:

Quoting Yung Pueblo, “Maturity is knowing that endings are a part of life. Jobs change, who you hang out with changes. Your idea of what is ‘good’ evolves. An ending is a sign that you’re opening a new chapter.”

There’s a saying in this space that we stop maturing when our drinking becomes problematic. When alcohol begins to take over every aspect in our lives, our maturation is halted. Our idea of what is good evolves, but it doesn’t evolve when we keep labeling booze as a good time.

Start using your brain to build your alcohol-free life in your mind. Eventually the universe will line up to make this happen, in fact, it’s already happening. Think about the podcast you are listening to and how you got here. You’re probably way further down this journey than you think.

[07:30] Paul introduces Ashley:

Ashley lives in Spokane, WA and works for a cleaning business. She enjoys crafting and journaling. Right now she is working on a scrapbook that looks like a Vision Board for 2025.

Ashley says she didn’t really drink until college. When COVID shut everything down in 2020, Ashley was a junior in college and had just turned 21. She was living alone in a studio apartment and got to drink the way that she wanted to drink. When she noticed her drinking ramp up, she started to cut it back a bit.

After the shutdown was lifted, Ashley started bartending and didn’t want to drink much on the job. That shifted a bit when she changed jobs and was working at a brewery where she and other coworkers would take drinking breaks while on their shift. Over time she recognized she was drinking too much and tried to moderate at least at work.

Ashley began to recognize that she didn’t like that she was becoming very cynical while at this job. She talked to her partner about it, and he encouraged her to leave the job since it was affecting her so negatively. Ashley took the time off after quitting to do whatever she wanted and saw her drinking increase. She would hide her bottles so her partner wouldn’t see how much she was actually drinking.

On the day of her last drink, Ashley and her partner had gone out and bar hopped. Ashley ended up blacking out and when she woke up, her partner was gone. She could not remember most of the night before and wasn’t sure what was going to happen next but knew she could no longer drink.

Ashley says the first two days were full of anxiety, but she just focused on one day at a time. She distracted herself with movies and video games. At therapy that week, she shared where she was with alcohol for the first time. Her therapist recommended the I Am Sober app which Ashley found very helpful. The cravings have decreased over the last few months and when they do happen, she plays the tape forward. Since quitting Ashley says her depression and anxiety has reduced dramatically. She has more energy, and her routines have become more consistent. Ashley is happy to find she can still socialize even without alcohol.

Ashley’s parting piece of guidance: it is important for you to look inside yourself and see if it’s actually something you want to do or if you’re afraid to do it, maybe look into why you’re afraid to do it.

Recovery Elevator

Rule 22, let’s lighten up, not take ourselves too seriously.

I love you guys. We can do this.