Kris Oyen, Author at Recovery Elevator

RE 503: It Takes What It Takes

by Kris Oyen | Oct 7, 2024 | Podcast

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Episode 503 – It Takes What It Takes

Today we have Leah from Akron, OH. She took her last drink on September 4^th, 2022.

Sponsors mentioned in this episode:

Better Help – code ELEVATOR

Tonight is our first session of our Ditching the Booze Mindfulness course. It will be on Monday nights at 7:30 EST for the next five weeks. This course will teach you the basics of mindfulness and mediation. It is included with Café RE membership. Visit Café RE to sign up if you aren’t already a member.

Speaking of Café RE, our community is no longer on Facebook. We have found a new home that is off social media, and it now has an app that you can find in the app stores.

[03:28] Thoughts from Paul:

The only thing harder than forgiveness is the opposite – resentments. It is important that we begin with forgiving ourselves.

It takes what it takes for you to get sober and quit drinking. There is no set pathway into and out of a drinking problem. Paul believes this is one of the reasons why alcohol-free communities are so non-judgmental, loving and accepting. Those who have quit drinking know that it takes what it takes.

Paul shares some “it takes what it takes” stories from himself and others working on their alcohol-free journey. Never quit quitting and you will find your way. It takes what it takes.

[08:20] Paul introduces Leah:

At the time of recording, Leah is celebrating 2 years alcohol-free. She grew up in Akron Ohio, she is 36 and just got married, they have a 3-month-old daughter. For fun Leah enjoys hiking, singing, hanging out with friends and spending time with her baby.

Leah shares the story of what drove her to make the decision to quit drinking. After waking up on a bench next to a river and realizing that she was barefoot and had walked over a mile in a blackout, she feared what might happen next if she continued to drink.

Leah began drinking in high school and felt that it gave her courage to be herself. She says she was always addicted to that feeling. After leaving a bad relationship to an alcoholic, Leah started dating her now-husband. He is a normal drinker and Leah felt safe with him.

Leah says over time her drinking increased and the blackouts started. She says she isn’t the same person when she drinks and would often get angry and start fights with her partner. Waking up feeling regret and shame and promising she wouldn’t do it again became commonplace for Leah.

It was Leah’s therapist through Betterhelp that suggested she check out some podcasts and that’s how Leah stumbled upon RE. She says she just started listening from the beginning and found the interviews with others very helpful and she no longer felt alone in this battle.

Leah says since quitting drinking, she has lost weight and feels better overall. The first year she struggled with boredom since drinking was her hobby. She has been working on her unresolved childhood trauma and learning how to be herself without drinking. Leah’s emotions have leveled out and she no longer gets angry as often as she used to. Leah and her husband are still able to share the same hobbies, and she now drinks NA beers. Cravings have not been a big issue for her, she remembers how bad the following days were when she would drink, and it helps her stay grounded.

In the future, Leah would like to have another child, but she is comfortable where she is right now.

Leah’s parting piece of guidance: one day at a time.

Recovery Elevator

Go big, because eventually we all go home

I love you guys

RE 502: The Tallest Tree in the World

by Kris Oyen | Sep 30, 2024 | Podcast

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Episode 502 – The Tallest Tree in the World

Today we have Kurtis. He is 32 from Seattle, WA and took his last drink on October 12^th, 2023.

Sponsors mentioned in this episode:

Better Help – code ELEVATOR

AG1

Paul loves pickles but doesn’t love to be in them. When it comes to drinking, this quote shows up often: “When I controlled my drinking, I didn’t enjoy it. When I enjoyed my drinking, I couldn’t control it.” That is a good example of what it is like to be in a pickle with your drinking.

DTB Mindfulness course starts Monday October 7th for 5 weeks. This course is for Café RE members only, and we would love for you to join us! Visit Café RE to sign up if you aren’t already a member.

[03:32] Thoughts from Paul:

While the tallest tree on the planet currently is a redwood but it would be the Douglas Fir if we stopped cutting them down. Scientists theorize the highest a tree can pull water up it’s roots is 480 feet and that’s how big the Douglas Fir trees were back in the early 1800’s before we began harvesting them.

Paul shares with us his love of trees and how they have helped him on his recovery journey. He also shares some facts about how indigenous people around the world are healthier than we are and how many of them use trees as a source of wholeness that cure physical ailments and mental health conditions.

When looking for connection, don’t overlook the trees in your back yard that are holding the soil in place. Nature should 100% be part of your recovery portfolio.

[10:07] Paul introduces Kurtis:

Kurtis currently lives in Seattle, WA and is originally from Detroit. He has two cats and is a musician and a mixing engineer. He says he used to use drinking as a way to be creative and says it has been interesting to figure out his relationship with music without drinking.

Kurtis says he didn’t drink much in his younger years. He took his first drink at age 21. He was in a lot of bands after moving to Seattle. He would bring beer to practice which quelled his anxiety.

After Kurtis was diagnosed with ADHD in 2020, he started taking medication that helped him focus. He admits he took more than prescribed and would then utilize alcohol to help him go to sleep. When waking up with a hangover, his medication would help him combat it. It was a vicious cycle, Kurtis says.

Kurtis knew he had issues but couldn’t determine whether it the pills or the drinking that was causing the problem. He was having a hard time going more than a few days without drinking and often found himself drinking in the morning. After failed moderation attempts, he ended up having to quit both the alcohol and the medication at the same time in October of 2023.

When he made the decision to quit, Kurtis says there were a lot of small rock-bottom moments that led him to it. Kurtis shared that it was tough quitting both things at the same time. He was worried that his productivity would decrease when he had to stop taking the medication. The drinking was slightly easier, however. Without taking the stimulant he wasn’t feeling so much anxiety at the end of the day which diminished his desire to drink.

Kurtis started finding other activities to fill his time and began to see great results. He was walking a lot, began to lose weight, and started feeling really good. He was able to recognize that quitting drinking opened up a lot of doors for him to feel better. He is more present with others and feels more confident in general.

Kurtis shares that the RE podcast has been helpful along with the Reddit Stop Drinking group. Talking about his journey with others has also helped a lot.

Kurtis’ parting piece of guidance: moderation, research and failing is all part of the process. It’s important to be kind to yourself and not feel like you have to match what others are doing.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

RE 501: The Camaraderie of Sobriety

by Kris Oyen | Sep 23, 2024 | Podcast

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Episode 501 – The Camaraderie of Sobriety

Today we have Kendra. She is 36 years old from Alexandria, MN and took her last drink on March 22^nd, 2024.

Sponsors mentioned in this episode:

Better Help – code ELEVATOR

There are 4 million podcasts on iTunes with tens of millions of episodes. Do you want to know what the #1 downloaded episode was, for two years straight? Is was an episode titled – What Alcohol Does to your Body, Brain and Health, by the Stanford Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman.

All new registrations for Café RE will be added to our community, which is no longer on Facebook. We have found a place that allows us to make these connections better. Beginning October 1^st, all current members will start shifting over there as well.

The theme for this podcast is I am Here, I am Whole. These lyrics mean that yes, we can fix, we can make changes, but while listening to this podcast, reinforce the fact that you are not broken. We are all perfectly imperfect, but in this moment, we are all here and we are all whole.

[06:15] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares a story about a recent situation involving his goat Hot Dog and some wiring on his truck. After attempting and failing to fix the issue himself, Paul took his truck to the shop where he purchased the truck topper.

After several hours of troubleshooting and referencing the vehicle’s owner manual, they found a fuse had blown. This was five weeks after the incident. What Paul didn’t know was that his taillights had been out as well. The man said that Paul was lucky the cops didn’t pull him over for a DUI. Paul quickly shared that he had quit drinking to which the man replied that he had as well. The conversation continued for a bit about their mutual sobriety.

One thing Paul has recognized in recovery is that the many teams, committees and organizations he has being involved with are no match for the camaraderie of sobriety. He encourages us to leverage the fact that you don’t drink to make deeper connections.

[08:44] Paul introduces Kendra:

Kendra is 36 and has lived her life in Minnesota all her life. She is an RN that works with kidney doctors. For fun Kendra enjoys outdoor activities, spending time with her daughter and has been getting into meditation lately.

About six years ago, Kendra started recognizing that drinking wasn’t fostering anything positive in her life. She was going through some major life changes and found herself reevaluating things. Kendra says she didn’t have an off switch and found herself drinking too much and being hungover most of the next day. She began to try to quit drinking but found it difficult and she would give into peer pressure a lot.

Over the last three years, Kendra attempted many moderation techniques. She was using a sobriety tracker to see her progress. She started bringing NA options to events, and even if she would still drink, she acknowledges that it was less. While there were no stereotypical rock-bottom events, Kendra recognizes that everyone’s rock bottom looks different.

Also, over the last several years Kendra started listening to podcasts about recovery and found the book This Naked Mind by Annie Grace which she feels helped her. She says everything was lining up to push her towards what life could look like without alcohol.

Kendra said she only had eight drinks from January to March this year. Her quit date is a few days after her father’s 39^th sobriety anniversary. Kendra says that listening to other’s stories has been helpful. She finds that being prepared and planning before going to social functions is important.

Kendra’s best sober moment: where she can be present with her daughter and remember everything.

Kendra’s parting piece of guidance: keep it simple and just try to keep logging those days. One decision at a time and focus on your overall health.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.