by Kris Oyen | May 23, 2022 | Podcast
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Episode 379 – Service
Recovery Elevator is sponsored by BetterHelp
Today we have Aaron. He is 40, from South Carolina, and took his last drink on September 15, 2021.
Jeff was interviewed for the podcast on episodes 104 and 377, has a book out, and is now leading sober travel trips. See links below.
Finding Bishop Castle: A Road Trip to Recovery — https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Bishop-Castle-Road-Recovery/dp/0578882612/ref=sr_1_1?crid=350FVMX9SZBRI&keywords=finding+bishop+castle+jeff+bowersox&qid=1649339640&sprefix=Finding+Bishop+%2Caps%2C213&sr=8-1#customerReviews
Afterglow Recovery – https://ourafterglow.com
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
Paul talks about the benefits of service and climate change in recovery. Service gets you out of your head and out of your story. Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin are released when we help others.
Climate change could save us as a species by forcing us to work together and develop a collective strategy. Alcoholics can help because there’s one thing we can do that others can’t, and that’s meeting as a group, putting all our differences aside, and talking about healing, recovery, and LOVE.
Paul wants climate change to unite us instead of dividing us. He is encouraging Recovery Elevator listeners to plant a tree, take a picture and tag us on Instagram @recoveryelevator.
“The true meaning of life is to plant trees under the shade you don’t expect to sit.” Nelson Henderson
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator – 10% off your first month
[15:06] Aaron has been sober for seven months and is married with two kids. He has an athletic household. He loves cooking, sports, and power yoga.
Alcohol wasn’t part of his life until his senior year of high school. When he went to college, binge drinking was the norm. Alcohol came with comradery for Aaron. All his memories with his friends involved alcohol. At 23, he totaled a car after drinking to excess. He quit for a month after the accident. When he started working, he got an outside sales job involving entertaining customers. Both his work and his social life revolved around drinking. At times it felt like an obligation. His tolerance built up, and it never occurred to him to stop.
His wife noticed and began to comment on his drinking. Aaron said to drink as he wanted meant being drunk. He saw a therapist specializing in addiction who helped him see several things.
Aaron’s 40th birthday was enough of a nudge to get him to address his drinking. His wife bought him a ten pack of hot yoga classes, and he went to his first one on his birthday.
Odette and Aaron discussed the dynamics of alcoholism running in the family and how to talk to children, siblings, and cousins about being mindful of the patterns that can develop.
Accountability has been a big part of Aaron’s sober journey. His cousin has become his accountability partner, and they talk about the ups and downs of sobriety with each other.
Odette and Aaron talk about the differences in sobriety that are new. Managing customers has worked well in sobriety. Aaron remembers his deliverables more readily and has found that as many customers want to be home with family as they want to party. Grieving your old life is allowed and makes sense. Ditching the booze makes room for new experiences.
Odette’s Summary
Odette reminds listeners that you keep us going. We want to hear from you about what you would like to hear from us in the podcast, social media, and newsletters. You can reach Odette at info@recoveryelevator.com.
Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Recovery Elevator –It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
by Kris Oyen | May 16, 2022 | Podcast
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Episode 378 – Finding Grace
Today we have Susan. She is 46, from Ohio, and took her last drink on June 14, 2019.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Odette
“Whatever courage got you here is going to take you far.” You are brave, and you have courage. Learn to trust yourself. Define far for yourself. The unfolding of healing takes time, have patience with yourself. Odette has two sentences of a poem on her forearm: “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” Those words are a reminder of her strength, courage, and perseverance.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator – 10% off your first month
[09:20] Susan has been sober for nearly three years. She is speaking on the podcast to get out of her comfort zone and overcome some complacency in her sobriety.
Susan is married and lives in Ohio with a stepson and two dogs. She works for an investment company and loves the outdoors, the beach, paddle boarding, running, and Jeopardy.
Susan grew up in a house of addiction and described it as WWIII. Her father was an abusive alcoholic. Her parents tended to numb out and not deal with anything. She realizes now many of her behaviors result from a trauma response.
Susan was often the caretaker for her mom, so the roles were reversed. She partied a fair amount in her twenties. Her mom died, and her sister was diagnosed with lung cancer. Her sister and brother-in-law died within seven months of one another. Susan retreated into her addiction. All the grief and pain from losing her sister was overwhelming.
Addiction was like a cocoon for Susan. It became so uncomfortable, and she had to stop. Susan tried naltrexone, but she wasn’t ready to quit. Shame kept her drinking for some time, and in retrospect, Susan regrets that she didn’t ask for help.
Alan Carr’s book podcasts and terror helped her to quit for good. Two months into sobriety, she attended Recovery Elevator’s Bozeman retreat. At Bozeman, Susan learned that community is essential. Susan struggled to share her recovery with her drinking friends. She often said she was “on a cleanse.”
Susan describes recovery as a radical act of self-love. Her progress in the last 3-years eclipses her progress in the previous ten. She is learning to get uncomfortable with being uncomfortable. Meditation, gratitude practice, and Women for Sobriety zoom meetings are essential sobriety tools for Susan. She suggests getting clear on your “why” to reinforce your commitment to recovery. Susan believes you are worth it and deserve to be happy and have some peace.
Kris’ Summary
Kris encourages you to share your story. Contact Kris: Kris@recoveryelevator.com.
Kris describes his daughter’s work to win a photography merit award. Even with life’s ups and downs, her consistency reminds him of the consistency needed to maintain sobriety. Managing struggles, triumphs, and learning to grow through challenges is how you stack days and keep your commitment. Sometimes our plans work out perfectly, while others kick us in the face. We don’t know what’s around the corner. Meet every challenge with love, patience, and grace.
You are the only one who can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Recovery Elevator –It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
by Kris Oyen | May 9, 2022 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 377 – Your favorites
Today we have Jeff. He is 47, from the Dominican Republic, and took his last drink on December 4, 2016.
Bozeman Retreat: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman/
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
Listeners provided highlights of some of their favorite episodes of the Recovery Elevator podcast.
330 – Learn to love yourself as your dog (or cat) loves you. You have a certain amount of energy and days in your life, and it is your choice on what to spend it on.
207 and 220 – Tom Topp inspired a listener to see social anxiety as a similarity. Another listener helped her learn that the body does heal from elevated liver enzymes without alcohol.
Another listener couldn’t name one episode but instead said, sharing your story and recovering out loud helps shred the shame of addiction. It made me realize that I’m not alone, and together we can fight and overcome this!
370 Stephanie – a listener, learned to put the same energy into her recovery that she did into drinking.
Odette speaking about her relapse was also powerful
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator – 10% off your first month
[15:21] Jeff feels great, thanks to five years of sobriety. He is married and splits time between Colorado and the Dominican Republic. He has a concierge service for people in recovery to enjoy a beach vacation without the triggers of alcohol. Jeff’s services help sober experience sober fun.
Jeff experimented with alcohol as a teenager and described alcohol as a warm hug. He married at 18 and put alcohol on the sidelines to become a provider. In his mid-thirties, Jeff spiraled into self-pity. After DUI’s and jail time, it took him several years to embrace recovery. He remarried and was a grey area drinker, until his drinking was problematic again.
Codependency caused Jeff to take on identities for other people. In sobriety, he started to get to know himself. When triggered, he asks his wife for help. Jeff listened to ninety episodes of the Recovery Elevator podcast in thirty days. Stubbornness helped to make sobriety stick. Writing is a great tool for Jeff and posting in Café Re provides him with great feedback.
Collecting the sober moments retrains the synapses in your brain to have different responses to triggering events.
Odette’s Summary
You can handle this. Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Recovery Elevator –It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
by Kris Oyen | May 2, 2022 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 376 – You can be right, or you can have peace – Part 2
Today we have Ronda. She is 56, from New Orleans, and sober for 2.5 years.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
We are all human, with faulty machines in the dome. It’s okay to be right or want to be right, especially in the moment. Sobriety teaches us that we must choose peace. We don’t have to choose peace immediately, but eventually, we must, or we develop resentments. Resentments, for many of us, can kill us. Why? Resentments separate us. Disconnect us. And what’s the opposite of addiction—connection.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator – 10% off your first month
[10:23] Ronda and Odette discussed the sobriety journey and celebrating the decision to quit vs. the date of your last drink. Ronda is from New Orleans and recently moved to Colorado. She has three grown children, and she is an anesthesiologist. She loves sailing, hiking, and traveling.
Ronda’s first addiction was an eating disorder. She coped with stress and shame with food. She recovered from the eating disorder at age 30, and alcohol became a problem. She got a DWI in her mid-forties. Ronda said she ignored all the signs. She didn’t want to have a drinking problem. The culture in New Orleans portrays day drinking and excessive drinking as the norm, so it made denial easier.
Ronda was more of a binge drinker than a daily drinker. Her kids started noticing her drinking. Her middle daughter was vocal about her concerns early on. So, Ronda began to hide her drinking. Ronda and the kids evacuated to Phoenix during Hurricane Katrina. Her problem with drinking started then, and it took her ten years to get help.
After getting a DUI, Ronda had to go through a program to align with the recommendations of the medical board. Even her colleagues said, “it could have been me.”
When visiting her daughter in sober living, Ronda got sloshed at the airport and faced her daughter’s disappointment when she landed. When her daughter stopped protecting Ronda, it was another AHA moment that she had a problem. After her daughter went to rehab, Ronda started moderating when her kids were with her.
There are multiple ways to get sober, and Ronda tried everything and found a mix of programs that worked. Ronda leveraged AA, The Tempest Sobriety School (run by Holly Whittaker), Recovery Elevator, and Café RE in early recovery. With a heavy emphasis on self-care, Ronda was able to find her true soul, her wounded inner child, and the ego that were all within herself. Learning to take care of herself allowed Ronda to stack days and helped her to deal with shame. Plant-based medicine was a pivotal moment in her recovery journey.
Ronda was molested as a young child, and it was one of many childhood traumas that contributed to her addiction. Shortly after confronting her abuser, she took her last drink. It was a burden off her shoulders that she didn’t have to hide anymore.
Joy has permeated Ronda’s life. She has learned new skills, confronted her past, and found many ways to have fun, including mediation, music, dancing, nature, bubble baths, community, and board games (particularly Bananagrams). Morning routines are critical to Ronda’s sobriety routine. She removed herself from social media other than her recovery groups.
Odette’s Summary
Odette talks about shame, day counts, and restarting. Committing to sobriety should add value, not shame, to your recovery. It’s not about the date. It’s about staying on the journey. Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Recovery Elevator –We took the elevator down. We need to take the stairs back up.
I love you guys.
by Kris Oyen | Apr 25, 2022 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 375 – Decoupling
Today we have Amanda. She is 40, from Florida, and took her last drink on March 25, 2019.
The Bozeman Retreat has openings for men: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman/
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
Paul discusses anxiety and decoupling. Paul’s tipping point was in 2017 when his anxiety or hangxiety was so bad that he thought he was having a heart attack. As he sobered up, the anxiety temporarily worsened, then improved dramatically. 85-90% of Paul’s anxiety is gone today. Anxiety no longer controls him.
Decoupling is untangling the thoughts, actions, and behaviors no longer serving you. Decoupling is a muscle. Start small and watch the momentum build.
You are the Placebo: https://amzn.to/3M3ChKJ
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator – 10% off your first month
[10:20] Amanda is married to a military husband and has two children. She works as a mental health provider. She loves time with her kids, baking, working out, and spending time with other sober people.
Amanda grew up in an alcoholic home. She grew up with verbal and emotional abuse and struggled with anxiety for most of her childhood. She was an athlete but quit. She began hanging out with an older crowd, and illicit drugs entered her life. She quickly reigned in the drug use. Going to school in New Orleans, her drinking escalated. Eventually, she discovered prescription drugs. She mixed them with alcohol.
She observed her mental obsession with alcohol during her second pregnancy. After having her first baby, she used alcohol to cope with the stress of motherhood and having a military husband who was gone a lot. At a birthday party, she drank a bottle of wine and still wanted more. She hoped her tolerance would reset, but it didn’t work that way.
Amanda was highly functioning, working full time, eating well, exercising, and caring for her children. Amanda described herself as arrogant because she knew the ins and outs of addiction because of her career but continued to drink.
After relocating from one part of the country to another, Amanda thought it was time to reign in her drinking. She started a fitness plan that included some aggressive nutritional goals that excluded alcohol to be more present. She felt great, but her drinking resumed. At her grandfather’s funeral, her husband noticed she drank an entire bottle of wine at 9 AM. Shortly after that, she knew she was “done” and told her husband she had a problem and needed help.
Amanda discovered Recovery Elevator and Café Re during her first two years. She has found the resources she needs to maintain her sobriety. She was initially active in AA. Community is now the core of her recovery. Feeling understood and accepted for all her parts is amazing. Amanda is learning to create distance from her thoughts, accept them and have compassion for herself and others.
Odette’s Summary
Odette thanks listeners for all the support and kind words she received during her last introduction to the podcast. Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Recovery Elevator –Every time we say no to booze, we say yes to ourselves.
I love you guys.
