Kris Oyen, Author at Recovery Elevator

RE 306: Who are you Becoming?

by Kris Oyen | Dec 28, 2020 | Podcast

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Robyn took her last drink on June 30, 2020. With 63 days away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).

Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We’re meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more!

We’ll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We’ve found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link.

Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You

The last Monday of the year! “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals” – Zig Ziglar

This journey isn’t about arriving, it’s about becoming. How much we are willing to put in is what we should celebrate. Your hard work and new habits are what is to be celebrated. No one can take that away from you. What have you noticed about your journey this year? Who did you become this year?

[6:35] Odette introduces Robyn.

Robyn is from Columbia, South Carolina. She lives with her partner and he has two kids they see often. She likes jigsaw puzzles, reading, journaling and meditating. Pre-covid she liked vacations to the mountains.

[9:33] Can you give listeners some background on your story?

Robyn said she started drinking around her senior year of high school. She was shy. When she moved to NC it was a fresh start and to fit in, she drank. It helped her open up and have fun. After some life trials and moving to Columbia she made friends with bartenders and it was still fun drinking. During a relationship with another alcoholic, she noticed her drinking really ramped up. There were lots of times she talked herself out of being an alcoholic. In 2011 Robyn got a DUI. She did quit for a little, but it didn’t stick. After her mother passed away was when Robyn actually noticed it was a problem. She dealt with so much during that time. Robyn’s getting to her last drink came in ebbs and flows over years. There was a definite mental decline that she noticed.

[26:10] How was your emotional state during these times of drinking and then returning to drinking?

Robyn said she stopped beating herself up. It took a while for that overall to stop, but the more she met people and gained community it’s been easier for her to be easier on herself. She’s learned there’s no point in beating yourself up, it won’t help.

[31:06] What do you do when you get a craving?

Robyn said she reaches out. Her partner helps her with the rational side of her thinking. If he’s not available, she will reach out to Café RE or her little DTB group.

[32:43] How has this decision affected other relationships?

Robyn said her boss is also in recovery and he’s a big supporter of her recovery. Her best friend still drinks but is supportive of her choice.

[35:21] Have you been able to identify any triggers?

Robyn said some of her triggers are good things. If she’s having a good day, yard work, outside activities. Her triggers aren’t emotional anymore.

[38:06] Do you have a daily routine?

Robyn said journaling. She’s journaled most of her life and she’s really focused on it during her sobriety. Robyn even noticed that if she takes a break, within a week she’s had a drink. Even when she doesn’t have anything “great” to say, she writes anyway. She tries to include gratitude and she’s begun meditating.

[47:18] Rapid Fire Round

If you could talk to day 1 Robyn, what would you say?

Keep trying, you’re making the right decision, keep going. It will eventually be good.

What are you excited about right now?

Do some sober travel and meet some Cafe RE members.

What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

Cafe RE, journaling, quit lit and other podcasts, all of them.

What is your favorite NA beverage?

All the sparkling water, if it’s sparkling and it’s water, I want it!

What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners thinking about ditching the booze?

Give it a try you will never know how good it can feel until you give it a chance. And be easy on yourself.

You may have to say adios to booze if…

you wanted to stock up for quarantine and it only lasts you 4 days.

Odette’s weekly challenge:

Take a few moments to reflect on today’s intro on becoming. Who are you trying to become?

Thank you to each listener!

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We’re meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more!
You can find more information about our events

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com

“Recovery Elevator – Embrace the journey of becoming and Happy New Year- I love you guys”

RE 305: Heal Your Mood

by Kris Oyen | Dec 21, 2020 | Podcast

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

Sarah took her last drink on April 22, 2019. With over a year away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).

Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You

Odette recently received the book Homebody by Rupi Kaur. As Odette looks at her own sobriety as a return to self, this book is very fitting for where she is in her own journey right now. Here’s your permission slip this week: take care of yourself. This time of year can be overwhelming for many. When we are overwhelmed, we may also open the door to fear. Using our tools, we can make life manageable and hold space for everything we are feeling.

list of things to heal your mood:

cry it out. walk it. write it. scream it. dance it out of your body.
If after all that
you are still
spiraling out of control
ask yourself if sinking into the mud is worth it
the answer is no
the answer is breathe
sip tea and feel your nervous system settle
you are the hero of your life
this feeling doesn’t have power over you
the universe has prepared you to handle this
no matter how dark it get
the light is always on its way
you are the light
walk yourself back to where the love lives

[6:42] Odette introduces Sarah.

Sarah lives in Wisconsin with her husband and her son and their dog. She is 30 years old and works in marketing. For fun she likes running, reading and crafting. She loves live music as well.

[8:52] Can you give listeners some background on your story?

Sarah said she had her first drink around 14 or 15 years old. Form there she drank almost every weekend and became a party girl. The lifestyle continued into college. She transferred her sophomore year and focused on her health. When she turned 21 it ramped up again. Being in WI the drinking culture is strong. After college she kept partying on the weekend, but the culture of drinking kept her in it. At the age of 26 Sarah had a moment that changed it, she woke up feeling shame. In 2017 she told herself she was only going to drink on special occasions, she made it 60 days without alcohol. At a friends 30^th birthday was when she drank again, and it was like old times, up until 4 am drinking. She also found out she was pregnant at the end of March 2017. While pregnant she missed drinking and was ready to get back to it. She found herself turning to alcohol as a reward. Sarah began to see that she wasn’t someone who could just have one, she always went overboard.

[21:30] Has it been cool finding different ways to unwind at the end of the day?

Sarah said she turned her beer fridge into a NA fridge. Her and her husband make mocktails. She turns to something that’s relaxing rather than alcohol to unwind.

[22:59] Talk to me about when you started this journey and being in a relationship?

Sarah said her partner was really supportive. He never said anything about her drinking, but it caused problems when she was drinking. She was worried about their relationship however because they met through partying. He however is someone who supports her no matter what.

[27:31] Did you start using social media as a way to find other sober people?

Sarah said when she was on her moderation journey, she found some accounts that were about being sober. When she got serious, she went back and found them and was amazed at how large the community had grown. Sarah found 1000 Hours Dry and enlisted a friend to do it with her. Sarah helped grow her community through Instagram. She’s co-started New Fashioned Sobriety with some friends she met through Instagram and they plan meet ups (virtual right now!).

[33:39] How was it going to the in person retreat in Bozeman?

Sarah said she was very nervous about going, but also about what her family would think. During the retreat she met and connected with so many people she wouldn’t have otherwise and really emersed herself in the event. Sarah said she came home with new tools and tons of new friends.

[37:52] Do you still get cravings?

Sarah said it’s mostly when she romanticizes her drinking, but for the most part no.

[41:28] Tell me what your most beloved tools in your toolbelt.

Podcasts are #1, this Naked Mind and the community on instgram.

[42:31] What’s your go to response when someone offers you a drink?

No thanks, it makes me feel like shit was her go to in the beginning. Now she normally brings her own so it’s not a conversation!

[43:33] Rapid Fire Round

If you could talk to day 1 Sarah, what would you say?

You life is going to change so much in so many positive ways, you will still be you, you just will have a fuller life.

What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Blue Moon

What book are you reading?

The Sober Lush

What parting piece of guidance can you give people thinking about ditching the booze?

Stop thinking about all the thinking you will lose, but instead focus on the possibilities.

You may have to say adios to booze if…

you black out on Easter Sunday before American Idol premiers at 7pm.

Odette’s parting words:

Love yourself hard this week. We don’t have to drink to escape our feelings. If you need any extra help, please ask for help. You can email Odette.

Together is always better.

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We’re meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more!
You can find more information about our events

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com

“Recovery Elevator – Feliz Navidad- I love you guys”

RE 304: You’re Asking Yourself the Wrong Question.

by Kris Oyen | Dec 14, 2020 | Podcast

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

Kyle took his last drink on May 31 2020. With 82 days away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).

Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You

Sometimes we get stuck. When Odette gets stuck, she repeats this simple phrase to herself. “Please help me see things differently.” Being shown the same scenario through a different lens helps to shift the perspective. Different questions help to see things in a new way and get unstuck. If you’re feeling stuck are you asking yourself the wrong questions?

[7:44] Odette introduces Kyle.

Kyle is 33 years old and from Michigan. He is married and has three young daughters. He works in the automotive industry as a program manager. For fun he’s been planning the future with his wife, he also likes gaming and running.

[10:49] Can you give listeners some background on your story?

Kyle said the first time he got drunk was when he was 14, but he didn’t notice a change in his drinking until he was in his 20s. He was taking on a lot at the time and failing a lot at things. He looked to beer to take the edge off which turned into drinking to black out every night. He tried quitting many times and this stretch is the longest he’s gone in 10 years.

[13:37] When did you notice you were using alcohol to cope?

Kyle said he realized this subconsciously early on but was trying to quit on willpower alone. He figured out the price for alcohol and the euphoria it brought was higher than he was willing to pay. Alcohol stopped being enjoyable at the end because he was just chasing something.

[17:25] What happened when you returned from Japan and you realized you couldn’t shake it?

Kyle said rock bottom wasn’t one individual thing. He realized he was letting his wife and kids down often. He would wake up ashamed. During a conversation with his wife, she mentioned a friend who worked with people with addiction issues. Kyle was given some reference material. He found other like-minded people and that’s really what helped him.

[21:23] Tell me about your attempts to stop drinking.

Kyle said he feels like he’s been in a fog for the last 10 years. He had a lot of vision and no energy. Every time he woke up and swore off alcohol, but 3 pm that day he was ready to drink. There was a lot of mental back and forth he experienced. He sees now that was only will power without understanding the science behind it.

[23:23] What was your mental headspace when you were trying to quit?

Kyle said he lacked a lot of self love, so he was frustrated with himself all the time. He had a good façade and came off as confident, but he wasn’t the person he wanted to be internally.

[24:15] How has this time been different for you?

Kyle said he is seeking help. Also, his family is a big influence about getting sober. He knows he will be there for them.

[25:16] What do you do when you get a craving?

Kyle said he sits with it and he thinks about the morning after, his future and what the drink can lead to.

[27:30] How has staying away from alcohol affected your anxiety & depression?

Kyle said it’s still there, but it’s not as severe. He now knows that drinking wont erase them and he deals with them.

[29:44] What does a day in the life of Kyle look like?

Kyle said it’s mainly juggling his career and his family.

[29:44] What does a day in the life of Kyle look like?

Jason said he makes amends a lot. He gives himself permission to be imperfect and to circle back. He practices and allows room for mistakes to happen. Being compassionate with himself. He also applies the ABCs

[30:10] Do you have any rituals in place to help you deal with cravings?

Kyle said he likes to keep his hands busy. He does see he’s more focused on the things he loves.

[37:16] Have you noticed a difference in your relationship with your wife?

Kyle said his wife really let him do what he needed and didn’t get in the way of him discovering his own path to sobriety. He has thanked her for letting him discover sobriety in his own way.

[41:20] Do you have any specific routines during the day / morning routine?

Kyle said he used to but now not really. He does try to find time to exercise because it’s a stress release. If he has extra time, read a book.

[43:43] Have you noticed your sleep has improved?

Kyle said living away from alcohol has improved his sleep. He used to drink to knock himself out. He’s noticed it’s much better now.

[44:43] Rapid Fire Round

If you could talk to day 1 Kyle, what would you say?

Show yourself a little self love and try to understand the science behind why you drink.

What is your favorite NA beverage?

Coffee, he’s trying to find a good energy drink.

What parting piece of guidance can you give people thinking about ditching the booze?

If you haven’t tried it and you’re thinking about it, just try it. Try to understand it.

You may have to say adios to booze if…

you mention this question to your wife because you’re struggling to come up with an answer and she gives you a list of ten.

Odette’s parting words:

Thank you. After many day 1s, she’s celebrating 2 years sober this week.

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We’re meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more!
You can find more information about our events here.

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com

“Recovery Elevator – Everything that you need is already inside of you- I love you guys”

RE 303: M is for Mindfulness

by Kris Oyen | Dec 7, 2020 | Podcast

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

Dr. Jason Powers took his last drink in June 2003. With many days away from all substances, this is his story of living substance free.

Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You

What do we do when we are waiting for an outcome or a result? Traditionally: we bolt, we remove ourselves from the moment. In sobriety we have to feel all our feelings. Feeling them is the proof that we are staying true to ourselves. And that in itself is bad ass. Keeping in mind we have to feel the feelings, but also process them, not allow ourselves to get stuck in them. On days like today, when most people feel depleted, we have to find ways to fill up our gas tank.

[7:03] Odette introduces Dr. Jason.

Jason is 50 years old and lives in Houston, Texas. He is a physician that focuses on addiction medicine as well as an author, an interventionist, the founder of Positive Recovery. He is married and has 3 children: 18, 15 & 11. For fun he exercises and plays the drums,

[10:07] Can you give listeners some background on your story?

Jason said his first drug was sugar. It was the summer before 9^th grade when he first tried marijuana. While he would quit from time to time, he consumed it a lot. He drank in high school and college. Jason quit everything during medical school. He said he went out of control after his residency because no eyes were on him anymore. He had access to cough syrup with hydrocodone which had its own set of repercussions. He had an intervention and went to rehab. In rehab he had a moment of surrender to addiction.

[16:30] What is your definition of Positive Recovery?

Jason said while he did get sober through a 12-step program. However he woke up later to exploring beyond the 12-steps and a broader array of recovery methods. The science of happiness (Positive Psychology) was something that he learned about and jumped in. He began to apply these methods to addictive disorders. Helping to improve outcomes is Dr. Jason’s end goal.

[25:13] Personally, did you have to deal with any relapses after your time in treatment / early recovery?

Jason said he felt like he had a lot of reasons for shame surrounding his addiction. In his profession it’s often looked at as a character flaw. He was very distraught and afraid when he finally surrendered to the addiction. He didn’t have a relapse, but realizes he is an anomaly. In the beginning there was the desire to relapse, but he pushed through the feelings that came with it.

[29:56] Tell me about CBT.

Jason said that Dr. Aaron Beck created CBT. Dr. Beck decided he needed to develop a tool to change the thinking and behavior and there is a different result. The ABC’s are: A- Activating Event, B- Belief/Thought, C- Consequence. Making the change and having people argue with themselves (A & B) to change the consequence.

ACR- Active Constructive Responding- Dr. Jason wants us all to google this and inform ourselves and apply this to our lives!

[38:28] Tell me how your life has changed.

Jason said a part of him woke up or was reborn after addiction. He’s still himself, but just different. He’s living a full complete lifestyle away from substances. He’s honest, my generous, more empathetic.

[40:38] How do you navigate difficult situations personally?

[42:46] Rapid Fire Round

What is your favorite NA beverage?

Diet orange soda.

What would you say to your younger self?

Go find Amy Powers and marry her and get into recovery quickly!

What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?

Other people, other people, other people

What book are you reading right now?

Ken Follett, A Dangerous Fortune

What parting piece of guidance can you give people thinking about ditching the booze?

What are you waiting for? Try it out.

You may have to say adios to booze if…

it’s causing more negative consequences to your life then it’s adding benefits.

Odette’s weekly challenge:

Think about the intro, how do you spend your waiting periods? Do you know you can come back to yourself by simply breathing and being mindful? Peace begins with you.

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We’re meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more!
You can find more information about our events here.

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com

“Recovery Elevator – You are your own paradise”

RE 302: From FOMO to JOMO

by Kris Oyen | Nov 30, 2020 | Podcast

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

Jamie took her last drink April 16, 2019. With 485 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).

Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You

She is currently re-reading The Compound Effect. The general idea is that baby steps add up into large rewards. Change is hard. Gaining momentum on a decision is hard. This applies to our alcohol-free journey: turning down drinks, one at a time. Once we reframe the idea of this being a sacrifice and think of it as an opportunity instead, the trajectory changes. We must think of all the things we can add into our lives without alcohol. Odette makes a list of the things she has room for in her life now. Why don’t you make one too?

[7:00] Odette introduces Jamie

Jamie is 35 years old and lives on Long Island, NY. Her immediate family lives close and she lives with her 2 black cats. Jamie is a social worker. For fun she likes to run, go kayaking, reading, cooking and hanging out with friends. Being in nature is the best, it’s where she finds her higher power.

[9:57] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?

Jamie said she started drinking at the end of high school. In college her drinking seemed normal. She found there were hills and valleys with her drinking. When Jamie lost her mother at the age of 22 she remembers she was in a club in Greece and she identifies the synergy with that happening. The last 3-4 years her drinking escalated. She was blacking out and making poor choices. Looking back she can see the pattern of co-dependency.

[12:57] Did you notice after your mother passed that you used alcohol to deal with your grief?

Jamie said at first, she was so busy taking care of her father and making sure he was ok that alcohol was a secondary thought. But once she had some time away and time with her own feelings, she could see she was using alcohol the same as her mother, to numb down any emotions.

[18:05] Tell me about the first couple weeks of your journey?

Jamie said this was really the first time she honestly tried to get stop drinking. She had been living on the river of denial before this. Growing up her family didn’t express feelings, they drank or got angry. So, the first few weeks were new. She started a 12-step program and therapy. Jamie only knew 2 sober people at the time and she spoke to them a lot.

[23:49] What did you do initially when you had a craving?

Jamie said she didn’t really have a craving for the drink, but it was an emotional craving instead. She used a new found self-awareness to explore the feelings. She would pause and ask herself some questions about why she was feeling that way.

[28:18] After making the decision to not drinking, did you talk to your friends and family about it?

Jamie said she told people very quickly. She said the safe sentence “I’m not drinking right now”. After about a month, she started to see how this could be a lifestyle for her. 5-6 months in she began to share very openly on social media.

[30:48] What’s been the hardest part of this journey for you?

Jamie said feeling her feelings and not fighting them. Allowing the feelings to just be there.

[34:27] What’s your morning routine?

Wakes up at 6am, feeds cats, reads and then moves her body. For the last 81 days (at the time of recording) Jamie has been running every morning. New Fashioned Sobriety and their Zero Proof Run Club hosted and a streaker challenge that she completed. Initially it was 41 days, which she completed. And now her pledge to herself is to move her body daily. She also makes sure to meditate daily.

[37:01] Did you used to have a witching hour?

Jamie said right after work, 5-7pm when before she would be at happy hour and now she fills the time with new routines. A fun mocktail, some tea, go for a walk, walk with a friend.

[40:13] Rapid Fire Round

What are you excited about right now?

Have her first sober healthy relationship.

What books are you reading right now?

Good Morning, Destroyer of Men’s Souls: A Memoir of Women, Addiction, and Love

What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had in this journey?

I can do almost anything sober that I did drunk.

If you could talk to day 1 Jamie, what would you say?

Jamie you are a warrior, you are a force you have no idea what this is going to bring you. You can be a light for other people.

What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Anything with chocolate or peanut butter in it and even together!

What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?

Café RE, Podcasts- Recovery Elevator, Recovery Happy Hour, Seltzer Squad, yoga, walking, running, kayaking and This Naked Mind and Sober Curious.

What parting piece of guidance can you give people thinking about ditching the booze?

You are a brave, gentle soul and I applaud you. I wish you so much fun on your journey. It’s about taking that pain and making it fun. Tell somebody.

You may have to say adios to booze…

You drank so much while living in your parents basement and you couldn’t make it upstairs to the bathroom, so you throw up in the washing machine.

Odette’s weekly challenge:

Think about your AF journey. How much have you been trying to hold onto things you think this journey will take from you? Is that realistic? Make a shift, start thinking about what you want to set out of this. About what you want to add to your life? Open your eyes, beauty is all around us. Choose you, stay sober, you’re also subscribing to abundance.

Upcoming events, retreats and courses: