by Kris Oyen | Oct 7, 2024 | Podcast
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Episode 503 – It Takes What It Takes
Today we have Leah from Akron, OH. She took her last drink on September 4th, 2022.
Sponsors mentioned in this episode:
Better Help – code ELEVATOR
Tonight is our first session of our Ditching the Booze Mindfulness course. It will be on Monday nights at 7:30 EST for the next five weeks. This course will teach you the basics of mindfulness and mediation. It is included with Café RE membership. Visit Café RE to sign up if you aren’t already a member.
Speaking of Café RE, our community is no longer on Facebook. We have found a new home that is off social media, and it now has an app that you can find in the app stores.
[03:28] Thoughts from Paul:
The only thing harder than forgiveness is the opposite – resentments. It is important that we begin with forgiving ourselves.
It takes what it takes for you to get sober and quit drinking. There is no set pathway into and out of a drinking problem. Paul believes this is one of the reasons why alcohol-free communities are so non-judgmental, loving and accepting. Those who have quit drinking know that it takes what it takes.
Paul shares some “it takes what it takes” stories from himself and others working on their alcohol-free journey. Never quit quitting and you will find your way. It takes what it takes.
[08:20] Paul introduces Leah:
At the time of recording, Leah is celebrating 2 years alcohol-free. She grew up in Akron Ohio, she is 36 and just got married, they have a 3-month-old daughter. For fun Leah enjoys hiking, singing, hanging out with friends and spending time with her baby.
Leah shares the story of what drove her to make the decision to quit drinking. After waking up on a bench next to a river and realizing that she was barefoot and had walked over a mile in a blackout, she feared what might happen next if she continued to drink.
Leah began drinking in high school and felt that it gave her courage to be herself. She says she was always addicted to that feeling. After leaving a bad relationship to an alcoholic, Leah started dating her now-husband. He is a normal drinker and Leah felt safe with him.
Leah says over time her drinking increased and the blackouts started. She says she isn’t the same person when she drinks and would often get angry and start fights with her partner. Waking up feeling regret and shame and promising she wouldn’t do it again became commonplace for Leah.
It was Leah’s therapist through Betterhelp that suggested she check out some podcasts and that’s how Leah stumbled upon RE. She says she just started listening from the beginning and found the interviews with others very helpful and she no longer felt alone in this battle.
Leah says since quitting drinking, she has lost weight and feels better overall. The first year she struggled with boredom since drinking was her hobby. She has been working on her unresolved childhood trauma and learning how to be herself without drinking. Leah’s emotions have leveled out and she no longer gets angry as often as she used to. Leah and her husband are still able to share the same hobbies, and she now drinks NA beers. Cravings have not been a big issue for her, she remembers how bad the following days were when she would drink, and it helps her stay grounded.
In the future, Leah would like to have another child, but she is comfortable where she is right now.
Leah’s parting piece of guidance: one day at a time.
Recovery Elevator
Go big, because eventually we all go home
I love you guys
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by Kris Oyen | Sep 30, 2024 | Podcast
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Episode 502 – The Tallest Tree in the World
Today we have Kurtis. He is 32 from Seattle, WA and took his last drink on October 12th, 2023.
Sponsors mentioned in this episode:
Better Help – code ELEVATOR
AG1
Paul loves pickles but doesn’t love to be in them. When it comes to drinking, this quote shows up often: “When I controlled my drinking, I didn’t enjoy it. When I enjoyed my drinking, I couldn’t control it.” That is a good example of what it is like to be in a pickle with your drinking.
DTB Mindfulness course starts Monday October 7th for 5 weeks. This course is for Café RE members only, and we would love for you to join us! Visit Café RE to sign up if you aren’t already a member.
[03:32] Thoughts from Paul:
While the tallest tree on the planet currently is a redwood but it would be the Douglas Fir if we stopped cutting them down. Scientists theorize the highest a tree can pull water up it’s roots is 480 feet and that’s how big the Douglas Fir trees were back in the early 1800’s before we began harvesting them.
Paul shares with us his love of trees and how they have helped him on his recovery journey. He also shares some facts about how indigenous people around the world are healthier than we are and how many of them use trees as a source of wholeness that cure physical ailments and mental health conditions.
When looking for connection, don’t overlook the trees in your back yard that are holding the soil in place. Nature should 100% be part of your recovery portfolio.
[10:07] Paul introduces Kurtis:
Kurtis currently lives in Seattle, WA and is originally from Detroit. He has two cats and is a musician and a mixing engineer. He says he used to use drinking as a way to be creative and says it has been interesting to figure out his relationship with music without drinking.
Kurtis says he didn’t drink much in his younger years. He took his first drink at age 21. He was in a lot of bands after moving to Seattle. He would bring beer to practice which quelled his anxiety.
After Kurtis was diagnosed with ADHD in 2020, he started taking medication that helped him focus. He admits he took more than prescribed and would then utilize alcohol to help him go to sleep. When waking up with a hangover, his medication would help him combat it. It was a vicious cycle, Kurtis says.
Kurtis knew he had issues but couldn’t determine whether it the pills or the drinking that was causing the problem. He was having a hard time going more than a few days without drinking and often found himself drinking in the morning. After failed moderation attempts, he ended up having to quit both the alcohol and the medication at the same time in October of 2023.
When he made the decision to quit, Kurtis says there were a lot of small rock-bottom moments that led him to it. Kurtis shared that it was tough quitting both things at the same time. He was worried that his productivity would decrease when he had to stop taking the medication. The drinking was slightly easier, however. Without taking the stimulant he wasn’t feeling so much anxiety at the end of the day which diminished his desire to drink.
Kurtis started finding other activities to fill his time and began to see great results. He was walking a lot, began to lose weight, and started feeling really good. He was able to recognize that quitting drinking opened up a lot of doors for him to feel better. He is more present with others and feels more confident in general.
Kurtis shares that the RE podcast has been helpful along with the Reddit Stop Drinking group. Talking about his journey with others has also helped a lot.
Kurtis’ parting piece of guidance: moderation, research and failing is all part of the process. It’s important to be kind to yourself and not feel like you have to match what others are doing.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
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by Kris Oyen | Sep 23, 2024 | Podcast
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Episode 501 – The Camaraderie of Sobriety
Today we have Kendra. She is 36 years old from Alexandria, MN and took her last drink on March 22nd, 2024.
Sponsors mentioned in this episode:
Better Help – code ELEVATOR
There are 4 million podcasts on iTunes with tens of millions of episodes. Do you want to know what the #1 downloaded episode was, for two years straight? Is was an episode titled – What Alcohol Does to your Body, Brain and Health, by the Stanford Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman.
All new registrations for Café RE will be added to our community, which is no longer on Facebook. We have found a place that allows us to make these connections better. Beginning October 1st, all current members will start shifting over there as well.
The theme for this podcast is I am Here, I am Whole. These lyrics mean that yes, we can fix, we can make changes, but while listening to this podcast, reinforce the fact that you are not broken. We are all perfectly imperfect, but in this moment, we are all here and we are all whole.
[06:15] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares a story about a recent situation involving his goat Hot Dog and some wiring on his truck. After attempting and failing to fix the issue himself, Paul took his truck to the shop where he purchased the truck topper.
After several hours of troubleshooting and referencing the vehicle’s owner manual, they found a fuse had blown. This was five weeks after the incident. What Paul didn’t know was that his taillights had been out as well. The man said that Paul was lucky the cops didn’t pull him over for a DUI. Paul quickly shared that he had quit drinking to which the man replied that he had as well. The conversation continued for a bit about their mutual sobriety.
One thing Paul has recognized in recovery is that the many teams, committees and organizations he has being involved with are no match for the camaraderie of sobriety. He encourages us to leverage the fact that you don’t drink to make deeper connections.
[08:44] Paul introduces Kendra:
Kendra is 36 and has lived her life in Minnesota all her life. She is an RN that works with kidney doctors. For fun Kendra enjoys outdoor activities, spending time with her daughter and has been getting into meditation lately.
About six years ago, Kendra started recognizing that drinking wasn’t fostering anything positive in her life. She was going through some major life changes and found herself reevaluating things. Kendra says she didn’t have an off switch and found herself drinking too much and being hungover most of the next day. She began to try to quit drinking but found it difficult and she would give into peer pressure a lot.
Over the last three years, Kendra attempted many moderation techniques. She was using a sobriety tracker to see her progress. She started bringing NA options to events, and even if she would still drink, she acknowledges that it was less. While there were no stereotypical rock-bottom events, Kendra recognizes that everyone’s rock bottom looks different.
Also, over the last several years Kendra started listening to podcasts about recovery and found the book This Naked Mind by Annie Grace which she feels helped her. She says everything was lining up to push her towards what life could look like without alcohol.
Kendra said she only had eight drinks from January to March this year. Her quit date is a few days after her father’s 39th sobriety anniversary. Kendra says that listening to other’s stories has been helpful. She finds that being prepared and planning before going to social functions is important.
Kendra’s best sober moment: where she can be present with her daughter and remember everything.
Kendra’s parting piece of guidance: keep it simple and just try to keep logging those days. One decision at a time and focus on your overall health.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
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by Kris Oyen | Sep 16, 2024 | Podcast
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Episode 500 – I Am Here, I Am Whole
Today we have Brady. He is 43 years old from Denver, CO and took his last drink on July 18th, 2023.
Whatever day you are on, we want to hear it, see it and support you. On Sundays, head on over to RE on Instagram and post on our Roll Call. Let the world know where you are at.
There are still a few spots open on our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam. This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we’re heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers.
Starting Monday September 16th, all new registration for Café RE will be added to our community, which is no longer on Facebook. We have found a place that allows us to make these connections better. Beginning October 1st, all current members will start shifting over there as well.
Sponsors mentioned in this episode:
Better Help – code ELEVATOR
[03:57] Thoughts from Paul:
For 500 straight Mondays, Recovery Elevator has released an episode with someone sharing how they quit drinking. We do this to help, to serve, and also selfishly since Paul and all members of the team are also on this AF journey.
Paul started this podcast in 2015 and just celebrated 10 years since his last drink. He shares how he started the Recovery Elevator Sobriety Tracker. He also shares that since starting, we now have Café RE, have done five international sober travel trips, have had 15 official RE retreats, and over 1500 people have signed up for our courses.
Paul shares what he is most happy about are the gains in his personal life. He is married and has a three-month-old son and is well into a creating a life that no longer requires alcohol.
The lyrics to the new intro song: “I am here, I am whole” remind us that there is nothing wrong with us, we are not fractured, and we can correct the imbalance in our lives. And we don’t have to do it alone.
[11:00] Paul introduces Brady:
At the time of recording, Brady just celebrated one year alcohol free!
Paul and Brady have been friends for a very long time, and both acknowledge that it’s good be on the other side of their drinking times to now sharing sobriety with one another.
Brady and lives in the suburbs of Denver, he is 43 years old and is a realtor and formerly a high school teacher. Brady is married and they have a five-year-old son.
Brady says he drank more than the average high school student. He thinks his drinking in college was on par with normal for that time of life. It wasn’t until his late thirties that he started to realize that his relationship with alcohol wasn’t good. He feels that the time during COVID just normalized drinking at home for him. It became an everyday thing, and he slowly stopped having any interest in anything other than drinking.
An acute panic attack one night found him feeling empty. When he talked to his mom about it, she asked if he had been drinking. It was then that he started to connect the dots and was on the road to exploring the role alcohol had in his life. He never considered himself an alcoholic, but knew he was not living the life he wanted to.
Since quitting drinking, Brady has lost 20 pounds, is says he is more aware of what he is doing and it’s more purposeful. Brady has discovered that everything is clearer now. He mentions listening to The Huberman Lab podcast about alcohol really helped him in addition to Alan Carr’s book about quitting drinking. Learning what alcohol really does to us has been an important tool for Brady. He has not attended AA but had a lot of support from people around him and was comfortable sharing with them. Brady has shifted his identity to no longer being a dude that drinks.
Brady’s parting piece of guidance: just do it, find those resources that will help you.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down, you got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
by Kris Oyen | Sep 9, 2024 | Podcast
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Episode 499 – Get Your Roll On
Today we have Kerri. She is 55 years old, lives in Redding, CA and took her last drink on March 2nd, 2022.
Sponsors mentioned in this episode:
Better Help – code ELEVATOR
Soberlink – receive $50 off of a device
Better Rhodes – code RECOVERYELEVATOR15
RiseUp Coffee
Athletic Brewing
Sarilla
[02:47] Thoughts from Paul:
Prior to AA, alcoholism was considered a fatal disease. In less than 100 years, so much progress has been made in how alcoholism is viewed and treated. Now there is 100% a way out.
We now know the most potent antidote to addiction is connection. And this looks like community, preferably one that contains a lot of laughter, which we have all heard is the best medicine.
Paul shares with us that when he was crafting the recent Bozeman Retreat’s itinerary, he spent a lot of time thinking about one of the activities he was considering: a Skee-Ball tournament. The retreat is already full of the standard heavy hitters of share groups, breathwork, etc. but he wanted to try something different. Check out the pictures of the event in the post today: RE on Instagram
So, 100 years ago, it was shock therapy and isolation to cure alcoholism. Today it’s Skee-Ball, laughter, and connection.
[10:34] Kris introduces KMac:
Kerri is 55 years old and lives in Redding, CA. She has two adult daughters and five grandchildren. She is married and they have two dogs. For fun, Kerri has recently gotten into ultrarunning. She works full time for RE/Café RE as the community manager and event coordinator.
Kerri says she started drinking in high school and was a blackout drinker from the beginning. She and her first husband drank a lot during their marriage, and it escalated for Kerri after their divorce.
Kerri became a teacher later in life, but her drinking caused her to lose multiple teaching jobs over the course of a few years. She was involved with her local AA group and had a sponsor during this time. She ended up joining Café RE and rather quickly, volunteered to help do the show notes for the podcast. Over time her involvement with RE evolved.
Kerri had over a year alcohol free before the binge drinking returned. She had stopped counting days and recognized that it made it easier for her to drink. Currently days are very important to Kerri.
As Kerri began working more for RE, she feels that it took away the community for her. She didn’t feel comfortable sharing her struggles within the groups because of her role.
Knowing that she couldn’t recover alone, Kerri began to open up and have tough conversations with the RE team. She was at the point where she was feeling like she was never going to be able to quit and found herself, with the encouragement of others, making the decision to go to inpatient rehab.
Kerri says that being The Hab was tough at first and a lot of the people there were younger than her. After finding a good counselor and therapist, she was able to finally start opening up and sharing. At the end of 60 days, it was recommended she continue, so she stayed an additional 30.
After leaving she continued to do what she was doing while she was in rehab, which helps. She used to question why she drank like she did, but over time has decided it doesn’t matter.
Kerri says the biggest thing she has learned about herself is the importance of truly believing she is worthy. She is now able to recognize when she has feelings and being able to share them. She is more likely to ask for help when she needs it.
To the listener that is experiencing their own version of pacing around the living room not wanting to drink, Kerri wants to remind them that it’s not too late, this doesn’t have to be who you are or the road that you go down, you are worth asking for help and there is a community out there that are willing to walk that path with you.
Kerri’s first episode: RE Episode 255
Recovery Elevator
You’re the only one that can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone.
Love you guys.
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