by Paul Churchill | Jul 1, 2019 | Podcast
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Sara, with a sobriety date of January 16, 2019, shares her story.
On today’s episode Paul shares an internet meme that he saw and loved…
“Only in my pain, did I find my will.
Only in my chaos, did I learn to be still.
Only in my fear, did I find my might.
Only in my darkness, did I see my light.”
Starting to see a theme, Paul added a few lines…
Only through my self-loathing was I able to love myself.
Only through my fears was I able to see how little it has ever served me.
Only through guilt was I able to see that all humans make mistakes, and I’m human.
Only through shame did I realize I don’t owe anyone in life an explanation, ever again.
Only through my failures was I able to see what I was doing wrong and then make the necessary corrections.
Only through blacking out was I able to recognize the misery with living without light.
Only with a crushing headache after a heavy night of drinking was I able to appreciate a clear mind.
Only through my addiction was I able to see the path that I didn’t want to take and clearly see that path that I did want to take.
The trend we are seeing here is called ‘the backward law’. It when we experience the suffering before we experience the bliss on the other side. This is also Newton’s first law of motion.
If you ignore the nudge to quit drinking it will quickly become an elbow to the shoulder, a kick to the groin, then a full Andre the Giant body slam.
SHOW NOTES
[10:00] Paul introduces Sara.
Sara with a sobriety date of January 16, 2019, has been sober for 4 months, 22 days. She is from Melbourne, Australia. She is 36 years old. Sara is single and is studying counseling and coaching. She loves to read nonfiction books on human behavior, phycology, self-development, and relationships.
[13:00] Give us a background on your drinking.
Sara started drinking at the age of 13. She says from the beginning she couldn’t moderate and that alcohol gave her a sense of belonging. Over the years she found herself gravitating towards friendships with people that liked to drink. All her friends liked to party but she had a vague feeling that wasn’t a healthy way to live.
[14:31] When did you first have the notion that it wasn’t a healthy way to live?
Sara says it was a long time before she realized it wasn’t a healthy way to live but she did know was that the repercussions from her drinking were terrible straight off the bat. Every time Sara drank, she would do something she was ashamed of. She never had an off switch and never had a time when she was a ‘normal’ drinker.
[15:25] Talk to us about your 20s.
By the time she was 17 Sara had a calendar on the wall and was ticking off days that she didn’t drink. She could only get 2 days straight and found it frustrating why she couldn’t get more. This caused her to feel shame and inadequacy as a human. In her 20s she was a bargirl. She would go to the bars with her friends or alone. At 21 she felt the desperation of not knowing what to do about her drinking, she found herself on her knees at a park begging for help. Her prayers were not answered and she continued to drink and continued to do geographicals within Melbourne.
At 28 Sara decided to go overseas. She was struggling with her purpose in life and thought she would find herself and sort her drinking out. Instead of finding herself she just found a whole lot of bars. Looking back on that time it feels like wasted time because instead of seeing the world she just drank.
[20:25] When did you decide to go back to Australia and that maybe quitting drinking was part of the grander scheme of things?
Sara had actually gone to AA when she was 23 and had given up drinking for about 6 months, so she knew AA existed, so she ended up going back to AA in Scotland and England. She had stints of 6 months and 3 months sobriety and says that was some of the most joyous times of her travels.
[20:55] What do you think happened after those 6 most joyous months?
Sara says her headspace happened. It told her she was cured and that she had evolved in those 6 months, and could drink moderately.
[21:45] So did you then make it back to Australia, is that where you got sober?
In 2012 Sara returned to Australia. Once back in Australia she pulled away from the pub crowd and was spending more time with just her friends or at home, so she was getting in less trouble but her drinking became more of a daily thing. In the last couple of years alcohol was the only thing that would make her happy.
[25:10] Was there a rock bottom moment on January 15, 2019? Tell us what it was like on January 16?
No, Sara was sick and tired of being sick and tired. She says she started out on the pink cloud and that lasted about 2 months. She went to an AA meeting on day 1 because she knew that the times she had the longest stretches of sobriety was when she was active in AA. She is still active in AA.
[27:15] What was the first month like? What was different this time?
She said she was not running on fear but that there was a healthy fear there that reminded her she needed to do what she could. Instead of looking for the differences at meetings she was looking for the similarities. She realized that she was not reaching her full potential when drinking alcohol.
[30:30] What’s on your bucket list in sobriety?
To become more of a dedicated student with her counseling. She loves to dance and wants to get back into doing that.
[37:08] What results are you seeing from the communication between your adult self and your child self?
Old beliefs are getting brought up and Sara is able to see why she responds in certain ways to certain triggers. She is hyperaware of her triggers now and is addressing them.
[39:10] Why do you think you drank?
Sara’s says her parents met in rehab so she feels there is some genetics that come into play, along with some childhood trauma. Alcohol helped her feel like she belonged.
[43:15] What are your thoughts on relapse?
Sara feels that relapses are par for the course and her relapses taught her so much, she didn’t realize that at the time, but looking back now she recognizes it.
[44:43] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
The no memory memories. The moment of dread and horror while trying to piece the night together.
- When was your oh-shit moment?
I was in Scotland and I was gifted a free week’s trip on a yacht. I hadn’t been drinking for 6 months and I decided I would drink at sea. The first 6 nights were fine…night 7 found her sneaking onto a cruise liner, stealing bottles of alcohol, getting caught, and waking up in a 90-year-old lady’s home but not knowing where she was.
- What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward?
I want to thrive and lead a joyous and fulfilling life.
- In regards to sobriety what’s the best advice you’ve received?
One day at a time.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Get really honest with yourself, ask yourself, “how long have I been trying to moderate? And has it been working?”
- You might be an alcoholic if…
It’s 3 AM and your ex-boyfriend’s housemate finds you outside of the house, ¾ ways up a tree, and when he asks you what you are doing you say, “I’m being a ninja”, and you proceed to fall out of the tree onto the ground and laugh like a maniac.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Jun 24, 2019 | Podcast
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Chris, with a sobriety date of February 12, 2019, shares his story.
On today’s episode Paul shares 8 strategies that you can implement when you are going through hard times.
- Everything can, and will, change.
- You’ve overcome challenges before.
- Recognize this life situation as a learning experience, AKA an opportunity.
- You may not be getting what you want, but you are getting what you need.
- Lighten up, do not take yourself to seriously.
- You can self-medicate with kindness to yourself.
- Don’t make it worse by taking on other people’s tough times.
- There is always something to be happy for.
SHOW NOTES:
[13:40] Paul introduces Chris.
Chris has been sober since February 12, 2019, and is 35 years old. He is a technology trainer for a finance company. He is divorced and has three boys, ages 15, 10, and 7. For fun Chris likes to sing and play guitar in a band, he also does improv and stand-up comedy. Since getting sober he is exercising a lot.
[14:20] When did you start drinking?
He had his first drink, tequila he had stolen from his parents, at the age of 11. He was in an AOL chat room at the time and he says it gave him liquid courage to chat freely, and he was hooked.
[16:20] Give us a more background about your drinking.
Chris’s drinking didn’t really get going until his sophomore year of high school. It ramped up quickly and he was experiencing black outs by his junior year. Chris also got his 1st, of 3, DUIs his junior year of high school. He started losing friends and girlfriends because of his drinking and by his senior year he was trying to get sober. He started college after high school and got his 2nd DUI at 19 years old. His first son was also born when Chris was 19. For the majority of his 20’s he replaced his drinking with marijuana. He married the mother of his son and they had two more. In 2013 they got divorced. Chris’s pot smoking was a big part of why they got divorced. After his divorce he went back to drinking. Within a month, at the age of 29, Chris got his 3rd DUI.
[25:58] Was there some sobriety time between 2013 and February 2019?
He had some forced sobriety time due to being on probation from his 3rd DUI. When all his legal issues were over in 2015, he went back to smoking pot and drinking, and he added taking Adderall into the mix. On February 11th he went to a family member and told them that he was taking Adderall and not as prescribed. He wanted help. The first 3 days of his sobriety he stayed with family. He also called the doctor that prescribed the Adderall and “burnt the ships”.
[33:55] What was your first month off the substances like?
It took him a few days to get his sleep schedule back to normal, but Chris says he had so much fun that the first weekend he spent with his boys off of all substances. He started to flip things around and instead of looking at sobriety as missing out on something he started looking at it as what he was gaining. He was choosing to be happy, and he was.
[40:10] What are some of the tools you’ve used these last 4 months?
He listens to recovery podcasts, like Recovery Elevator and Recovery Happy Hour. The online support group and forum is always there. Chris also reads a lot of self-help books.
[43:00] What advice would you give to your younger self?
He would tell himself to love himself more and that he is worth more than he thinks, but he also feels like he needed to go through all the things he went though to get to where he is now.
[44:45] Do you know why you were using substances?
Chris says that his internal self didn’t feel good enough, and to hide those feelings he used.
[45:50] What have you learned about yourself, along the way, that stands out?
Chris leaned that he can change, that he is capable of positive change.
[47:00] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
Getting so drunk at a neighbor’s house that his kids had to go home to their mother’s house and having to call the next morning, realizing his drinking was affecting his kids.
- What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward?
To keep moving and not get comfortable.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
If you think you have an issue then you probably do, try quitting for 30 days. You can do it.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You’re listening to this podcast. Also, if you’re shopping for fancy craft beer and you have to look at the alcohol by volume percentage of each beer, before you buy it. And if you don’t find the alcohol by volume you break out your phone and google it, because anything under 5% would not be worth the can allowance.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
BetterHelp
Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Jun 17, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Tim, with 2 days of sobriety, shares his story.
On today’s episode Paul talks about 2 articles that discuss alcohol use. Links for these articles can be found following the show notes.
The first article, published on May 7, 2019 in USA Today, says that alcohol use is soaring worldwide, with the average adult now consuming about 1.7 gallons of pure alcohol per year. Just in the past 27 years the total volume of alcohol that people consumed globally increased by 70%. Even though on a global level alcohol consumption is increasing, if you are listening to this podcast you have made it further than 95% of people out there. You are starting to make changes.
On the brighter side, an article published on January 17, 2018 in Bloomberg, reported that Americans drank less alcohol in 2018, for the third straight year. Total cases of beer, wine and spirits consumed in the US dropped by .8% in 2018. This was the third straight year that there had been a decline in consumption. So globally people are consuming more alcohol, but in the United States consumption is declining.
There’s a new term called ‘sobor curious’, which includes a large population that doesn’t necessarily have an issue with alcohol, but are waking up and are recognizing that maybe messages that big alcohol is telling us aren’t panning out to be true in real life.
SHOW NOTES
[12:30] Tim, with a sobriety date of May 13, 2019, has 2 days sober. After having this interview scheduled for about a week Tim emailed Paul to let him know that he had drank. He felt like he might not be the ideal candidate to be on the podcast. After reading the email, Paul let Tim know that he is exactly who he wants to have on the podcast.
[15:10] Paul introduces Tim.
Tim is 36 years old and was born, and raised, in Boston Massachusetts. He came from an Italian family that was in the construction industry. In middle and high school, he developed a real passion for music. He dedicated himself to hours and hours of voice, guitar and piano lessons, which led him into a career in ministry as a worship leader. Tim got married at 19 and is still married to the same woman, they are about to celebrate 17 years and have 3 children. His career in ministry is in the past and he is working as a project manager for a company that installs high end woodworking beams and bookshelves.
[16:45] Give us a little background about your drinking.
Tim started drinking at 15 and the first night he drank he got alcohol poisoning. He spent that first night in the shower throwing up and blacking out. He says he was never able to drink casually. Getting married at the age of 19, to a woman that is a couple years older than him, meant that he had someone that could buy alcohol for him. In his early 20s he was drinking about a 6-pack a day.
At the age of 25 Tim attended his first AA meeting, just to see. By this time, he was drinking 8-10 beers a day. After listening to someone’s story at that meeting, he decided that he was not an alcoholic. Tim says he went to a few more AA meetings throughout his 20s, but he continued to drink and started to mix it up with hard alcohol and found his favorite drink, Captain and Coke.
As he moved through his 30’s, Tim and his wife started to have pretty regular arguments about his drinking. Tim says he was looking for his wife to put her foot down and give him an ultimatum, but that wasn’t happening. He tried to moderate, and that didn’t work. He had some periods, 3 – 6 months, when he did not drink, but once he would consume alcohol again it would take about a week and he would be right back to daily drinking.
[21:30] In regards to those times of abstinence, what was it that brought you back to drinking?
Tim would tell himself that because he just went 3, or 6, months without drinking, that he must have control over it. The thought of having a glass of wine with his wife, while they watch the sunset, would just seem nice. That first drink always took him back to where he left off, in a matter of weeks.
In his 30s Tim started hiding alcohol and lying about how much he was drinking. He was always calculating how he was going to get that buzz.
[23:46] Did you have a rock bottom moment when you knew you had a problem?
Tim had joked about being a black out drinker in his 20s, but it wasn’t until his 30’s that he discovered he was really blacking out. He would drink and come to and realize that he had driven or would come to and not know where he was or who he was with. When he was blacking out on a regular basis, he knew he had a problem.
[25:20] What happens next?
When Tim was 30, he had gotten a job offer from a huge church down in Atlanta. It was like his life’s dream, so they moved down to Atlanta. For the next 6 years Tim found himself counseling people about their drug and alcohol problems, while his drinking continued.
When Tim was 34, he went to a psychiatrist who put him on Adderall, he then was mixing alcohol and Adderall. He became addicted to the Adderall.
[30:10] Recently you had 7 months sober and then relapsed 22 days ago, tell me about that.
During those 7 months Tim was still taking Adderall and was smoking a THC vape pen. Although he was not drinking during that time he was still dealing with depression and all that comes with being an addict.
25 days ago, he relapsed, drank a lot, and crashed his truck. It was then that he went back to AA, got a sponsor, and was ready to take it seriously.
2 weeks ago, Tim’s father, who also struggled with alcoholism, but never admitted it, committed suicide. Shortly after this Tim went to a bar, had 3 beers, left and called his sponsor.
[37:30] You are on day 2, how are you feeling?
Tim says he feels great. He has energy in the morning and is getting up early to pray. He has been able to be honest with his boss, which has saved him from losing his job. He explained to his boss that he could not stay late after work because he is now going to AA, and his boss has been very supportive.
[41:00] Do you know why you drank?
Tim says alcohol helped him feel his emotions, it allowed him to cry. He wanted to ‘feel’ and alcohol did that for him.
[43:50] What are you going to do when a craving hits?
Tim starts each morning in prayer or meditation. He sets his day up and prepares for the cravings that he knows he will have. He also has multiple sponsors and a network of people that he can contact when one is not available. He listens to podcasts and also has people checking in on him.
[45:21] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
2 years ago, I made a big scene at a restaurant and embarrassed my wife and my friends. I stacked a bunch of dishes and smashed them on the table, I drank way too much and had to get thrown out.
- When was your ah ha moment?
It was something I heard on your podcast, someone said, “life isn’t happening to you, it’s happening for you”. That concept was so incredibly mind-blowing to me.
- What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward?
To continue on knowing that if I am isolated, which is my nature, I will not succeed at this.
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery?
Paul I’m not saying this to blow any smoke, but I listen to multiple podcasts, and for some reason yours has been my number 1.
- In regards to sobriety what is the best advice you have received?
Stop feeling so fucking sorry for yourself.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Don’t wait. Not one more drink, it’s always one more drink, one more day…do it right this second because life it worth it.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
In the middle of the night, drunk, you are seeing fireworks in your rearview mirror only to discover you have driven the wheel off of your truck and the brake caliper and axel are scraping and shooting sparks 15 feet into the air.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Alcohol Use is Rising Around the World
Americans Drank Less Alcohol in 2018
BetterHelp
Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Jun 10, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
±ZX±Z8 Nick, with 101 days of sobriety, shares his story.
Paul is asking the listeners what they want to hear on the podcast. Do you want more interviews with industry professionals, such as recovery coaches, authors, and wellness leaders? Or do you like the podcast just the way it is with Paul interviewing sobriety badasses? Leave a review on iTunes and let Paul know!
On today’s podcast Paul shares that he was recently interviewed on a podcast called, Self Made and Sober by the host Andrew Lassise. Andrew asked Paul what was the difference between his first 2 ½ years of sobriety and from September 7, 2014 on. According to Paul, that was a fantastic question with an easy answer.
The first 2 ½ years of sobriety was from January 1, 2010 through August 2012. On 1/1/10 Paul made a declaration to go 30 days without alcohol. When day 30 hit Paul was at a crossroads. He had started to lose weight, feel good, his face was less puffy, life just got better. So, he decided to go another month. Going into month 3 the pink cloud showed up. But during this 2 ½ years he had a mindset of lack. A mindset that he was missing something, couldn’t do something. And as with anything, when we approach a goal with a mindset of lack, with a mindset that we will be missing something, it is not going to last. After 2 ½ years Paul went to his first AA meeting and walked away thinking “I got this.”. 2 days later he drank, picking up right where he had left off. Those first 2 ½ years were based on willpower, which does not work.
On September 7, 2014 something felt different. He knew that he had to quit drinking. But his mindset was different. Paul wasn’t looking at giving up alcohol as a sacrifice, but rather that space was being created, and things (alcohol) were being cleared, for better things to come. This time he wasn’t doing it out of fear, he was doing it because there was a light at the end of the tunnel, an opportunity. That opportunity shows up every day. Instead of having a mindset of lack Paul now has a mindset of opportunity.
SHOW NOTES
[18:40] Paul introduces Nick.
Nick is 29 years old and has been sobor since January 25, 2019. He says that that biggest lesson he has learned in recovery so far is personal acceptance. Nick is from Saginaw, MI. He says he is figuring out what he likes to do for fun, that right now everything is fun whereas when he was drinking nothing was fun. He enjoys being around people, disk golf, hiking, and meditation. He is divorced, a result of his addiction, but close to his family who live is Saginaw as well. For work Nick is about to start a new position with an organization called Families Against Narcotics.
[22:40] Give us a little background about your drinking.
Nick started drinking and using at the age of 14. From the first time he drank nick knew he wasn’t like other people. He realized he didn’t have an off switch. He says there was no slow progression in to alcoholism, that he was an addict the first time he took a drink. Throughout college he was binge drinking up to 5 nights a week, but that didn’t seem like a problem to Nick because that was what everyone else was doing. In 2012 his drinking and drugging amplified. But he was still doing well in school, still holding a job, still doing everything that looked normal on the outside.
[25:43] Sounds like there was some cognitive dissonance, tell us what that was like, how did that feel?
Nick said he felt powerless. He felt out of control and the only way he felt better was more drinking. There was a lot of rationalizing and minimalizing. In July of 2014 Nick went into rehab for the first time. In September 2014 his wife kicked him out. He moved back home and was doing drugs and drinking every day. On December 6, 2014 Nick overdosed. That put him in the hospital for about 2 weeks, and they weren’t even sure he was going to make it. He then went back to rehab and says that’s when there was a shift in his mindset. He finally accepted that he wasn’t in control and that his life was unmanageable. He entered into a 3-month inpatient rehab; the same one his brother was at.
[28:18] What did it feel like when you had that mind shift?
Nick said it was a huge relief, that it felt like he could let go and let God take over.
[31:15] Tell us what it was like being in rehab with your brother.
They were both there for 3 months but they kept them apart for the first month. After that they started to have some overlap with their programs. Nick said he had the mind shift but that his brother did not. On the plane ride home from rehab his brother purchased a beer. This made Nick angry and he told his brother that. His brother minimalized it.
[33:30] Take us from getting out of rehab in the beginning of 2015 to your sobriety date the beginning of 2019.
Nick has been active in recovery since getting out of rehab. He has had slip ups and relapses, never with the hard drugs, just with alcohol. The last time he drank was January 24, 2019.
[37:10] Talk to us about some of these slip ups.
It got to the point that drinking wasn’t fun anymore. Every time he would drink there was a lesson he would learn. The biggest lesson he learned from the slip ups was that alcohol was going to hold him back, just like the drugs would, and that he needed to be totally sobor to reach his fullest potential.
[40:35] Tell us more about the moment when you told your friends you were no longer drinking, and how it was after that.
The first few weeks his friends went out of their way to make him comfortable. What he had expected, that there would be problem or a change, was not the case at all. His friends stopped drinking around him at first, and things got easier fairly quickly.
[42:30] Why do you think you drank and used?
He thinks it was because he had a false narrative of who he really was. Alcohol helped numb it and made it easier to swallow that he wasn’t living his purpose. He also had a lot of emotional trauma growing up and he thinks that played a part.
[45:15] In the past 101 days have you experienced cravings and what tools have you used to get past them?
For Nick a craving is just a thought and it is all about changing that thought process. The cravings have been a lot milder than they were with the drugs. When he has a craving now, and is alone, he yells ‘STOP’, if he is with someone he thinks ‘STOP’ in his head.
[47:50] Tell us more about the Open Discussion, OD Movement, website.
After his grandmother’s passing in 2018 Nick wanted to do something to proactively try and address addiction. So, he created the Open Discussion Movement website, https://odmovement.com/ The OD Movement’s mission is to change the dialogue around addiction. You can find the OD Movement podcast by searching for it on most podcast platforms.
[56:00] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
Driving drunk and wrecking my car and waking up in the psyche ward.
- When was your oh shit moment?
When I woke up in the ICU after my overdose in 2014.
- What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward?
My plan is to continue building the OD Movement and just continue doing the next right thing.
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery?
The Meeting Finder app on my phone, I love that I can go to a meeting at any time.
- In regards to sobriety what is the best advice you have received?
You’re exactly where you need to be.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
It gets better. You have no idea how great life can be until you live a life free from the clutches of drugs and alcohol.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You wake up in the hospital and say, “man I shouldn’t have done that last night.”.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Green Chef
For a total of $75 off, that’s $25 off each of your first 3 boxes, go to www.greenchef.us/elevator75
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Jun 3, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Gerald, with a sobriety date of November 16, 2015, shares his story.
Registration for the RE Asia Adventure is now open! You can register and get more information about this event here
On a recent Café’ RE webinar, our host Odette, who is a sobriety warrior, brought a fantastic topic to the webinar. The Cherokee parable titled Two Wolves. It is about an old Cherokee teaching his grandson about life. He tells the grandson that he has a fight going on inside him between two wolves. One is evil, the other is good.
The grandson thought for a moment and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old Cherokee replied, “The one you feed.”
This same fight is going on inside all of us. But we should refrain from labeling our wolves ‘evil’ and ‘good’, because they are both equally important. We tend to feed our ‘evil’ wolf more, because it’s source of energy doesn’t require much action. When this wolf gets thirsty, we feed it alcohol. The ‘good’ wolf takes more effort and energy to feed, it craves sobriety.
Because both wolves are equally important, we cannot ignore the ‘evil’ one, we must acknowledge it and that will keep it happy. When we ignore one, we become unbalanced.
SHOW NOTES
[13:00] Paul introduces Gerald.
Gerald is 50 years old and lives in Boulder, CO with his family. He was born and raised in Connecticut, where he went to a private school and private college. Skiing and biking are Gerald’s passions.
[15:50] Give us a little background about your drinking.
Gerald started drinking when he was in high school. Through high school and college his drinking was only an occasional/weekend thing. After moving to Boulder, he cut back on his drinking because he was staying active biking and training for triathlons.
At the age of 30 he decided he wanted to go to culinary school and stopped exercising and started eating, and his drinking picked up. He gained 40 pounds. In 2011 he decided he wanted to lose the weight, so he got back on his bike, cut back on his drinking, and in 8 months lost the 40 he had gained.
When he was 43 Gerald lost his job and the decrease in income forced him and his family to move in with his in-laws. While he appreciated what his in-laws were doing for him and his family, he says it really started to take its toll on him and the way he felt as a man. This is when his drinking really started to progress.
[19:11] What happened after that?
In April of 2015 he lost another job. The pattern was starting to solidify. This was also when he really started to get into personal development.
[20:20] Did you start to see the role that alcohol was playing in your life?
Gerald said only looking backwards. He didn’t see it at the time. He thought he drank the same as all his friends, and that nobody ever pulled him aside or suggested he had a drinking problem. He did stop drinking for 3 weeks and nobody seemed to notice, so he went back to his normal and kept on drinking.
[21:55] What happened on November 16, 2015?
Gerald was on his way home from his job at a brewery and was invited to a going away party for someone from work. After grabbing alcohol from work, and drinking even more from the party, he got behind the wheel, took a turn and hit the curb hard enough to employ his side airbag…right in front of a cop. He got a DUI.
[23:00] Was this your rock bottom moment?
Gerald says it was the moment that he knew he had to change something. He got kicked out of his in-law’s house that night and lost his job a few days later. He found himself starting at ground zero again.
[28:45] What was day 1 like?
On day 1 Gerald kept an appointment with his blog coach, which he had made prior to his DUI. He says that appointment was transformational. It helped him begin to understand that he had a different purpose. Instead of doing what he just wanted to do he was trying to create something of value. Providing more value to people made the biggest difference in his life.
[30:56] Walk us through that first week, that first month.
Connection with his family made the biggest difference, and understanding that he was moving away from something while moving towards something else. Instead of trying to avoid drinking he started looking forward to other things like creating content and spending time with his kids.
**Gerald wrote a book titled, My Morning Practice: How to Put Down the Bottle, Escape Mediocrity, and Master Your Morning Mindset**
[35:15] Talk to us about how changing one little habit in the morning can make a tremendous change in your life.
Gerald starting noticing that most of the most successful people on the planet all had a morning routine. A lot of those routines included exercise. Gerald decided to write 10 ideas down every morning. About a month later he heard about a bike challenge so he adding biking to his mornings. He continued to add things to his routine. This routine gave Gerald the time and the space to really think about what is important to him.
[40:00] Walk us through a good morning routine for listeners that are new in sobriety.
First thing is to cut back time from what you are doing in the evening, less TV for example, so you can get to bed a little earlier and wake up a little earlier. Then take it a bite sized piece at a time, adding only one thing at a time and being consistent with that one thing before adding more.
[47:08] What have you learned about yourself in sobriety?
He’s learned that he has a growth mindset and if there’s a skill out there that he wants to learn he can accomplish it.
[48:00] Where can we find you and your book?
You can find his book on Amazon right here. You can find Gerald himself through his email, gerald@geraldrhodes.com , or his website, https://www.geraldrhodes.com/ .
[48:30] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
My son’ 8th birthday, my ex-wife and I got into this huge fight, it was a mess and it was all because I was drunk.
- When was your ah-ha moment?
I was watching a video by Bob Proctor and the message he gave led to my big ah-ha moment.
- What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward?
My morning practice, it has served me very well.
- Apart from your morning routine, what’s your favorite resource in recovery?
A book by Gary John Bishop called Unfu*k Yourself and listening to books on Audible.
- In regards to sobriety what is the best advice you have received?
That I am a miracle.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Take a few minutes every day to do something that you love and to think about what’s most important to you.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You take home white wine spritzers in a to go cup.
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