by Paul Churchill | Feb 4, 2019 | Podcast
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Tom, with a sobriety date of June 6, 2018, shares his story.
Events – I am excited about the upcoming events for Recovery Elevator. As already mentioned on the podcast we have Nashville on Saturday, February 23rd. We also have the Bozeman Retreat from Aug 14-18th. The Bozeman Retreat was a huge hit in 2017 and it is back on the calendar for this year.
Guys, what I am particularly excited about these days is sober travel. We are putting together the sober travel itineraries and the next one we are doing is an Asia trip in late January 2020. This will be a 12 day trip, flying into Bangkok, Thailand and then making our way over to Siem Reap, Cambodia where we will make our departure. Experiencing the culture, service work, and recovery workshops will all be a part of this trip.
You can find more information about all these events at recoveryelevator.com/events.
We’ve all heard of FOMO, or the Fear Of Missing Out. Today I want to talk to you about JOMO – the Joy Of Missing Out. The Joy Of Missing Out is the emotionally intelligent antidote to FOMO, and is essentially about being present and content where you are at this moment in life. Instead of constantly trying to keep up with the Jones’, JOMO allows us to be who we are in the present moment, which is the secret to finding happiness.
At the end of the episode I have a bunch of ”You might be an alcoholic if…” lines. Listeners I would love to hear your own “You might be an alcoholic if” lines. Email them to info@recoveryelevator.com and put YMBAAI in the subject line.
SHOW NOTES
[6:55] Paul Introduces Tom.
Tom, who considered himself a high-functioning alcoholic, is 50 years old, lives in Seattle, Washington, and has a sobriety date of 6/4/18. He is married, has two children, and a pug named Violet. He works in the high tech field.
[10:30] Give us a little background about your drinking.
He had his first drink when he was 14, and although he didn’t really like it his friends were doing it, so he kept doing it. Drank a lot in high school, it was almost like a sport. The first 10-15 years he feels he was a regular drinker, that he could take it, or leave it. He began binge drinking in college. The last 20 years he was drinking every day, but didn’t think he had a problem.
[16:50] When did you know that something was not right with your drinking?
That started about 2 years ago when he started getting numbness in his fingers, enough times that he went to the doctor about it. The doctor asked him what his drinking was like. About a year ago he had a major stressor in his life and the way he dealt with it was by drinking. Up until that point he always thought he drank for relaxation.
[24:30] Walk us through your early part of sobriety.
Tom says the first 4-5 were hard and talked about the drinking dreams he had. He changed his whole routine and became what he called a “sobriety savage”. He attends AA at least once a week but is not sure it is something he wants to continue to do for the rest of his life.
[35:25] What have you learned most about yourself in these past 7 months?
That you are never too far gone.
[38:50] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking?
When he went on a church camping trip and he got so drunk that he packed up the family early and snuck away the next morning.
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment?
He had never told anyone this; about a year ago he went out driving at 3:00 AM and was driving in a manner that he was basically putting his life in God’s hands. He spun out, the car stopped, and he finally came to his senses and balled like a baby.
- What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward?
Keep it simple. Live in the moment. Continue going to AA. Really connect with people.
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)?
His son telling him to go to AA.
- What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?
Do what you need to do to keep yourself sober and keep yourself safe. You don’t need to know everything at that moment.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You can’t recall which Netflix shows you have binged, or plan to binge, even as you are possibly watching them.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
by Paul Churchill | Jan 28, 2019 | Podcast
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Dusty, with a sobriety date of 9/21/15, shares his story.
On January 1st, I launched the 3rd private, unsearchable Facebook accountability group. All Café RE signups starting January 1st-January 31st will be placed in the new group. This group will be capped at 300 members to ensure intimacy. For the entire month of January, you can use the promo code 2019 for 75% off registration.
If you’re a Recovery Elevator podcast listener and you live in or close to the Nashville area, join us Saturday, February 23rd for Recovery Elevator LIVE in Nashville at 7 pm. Go to recoveryelevator.com for more info.
I recently finished reading the book The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. The book isn’t specifically a recovery book, but some of the ideas and themes can be applied to getting sober and staying sober. When it comes to the journey into sobriety there are 2 tipping points I want to cover in this episode. The first one happens when you start to question whether alcohol is serving a positive purpose in your life and the second one occurs when you quit drinking.
At the end of the episode I will talk about a third tipping point, one to avoid.
SHOW NOTES
[6:55] Paul Introduces Dusty.
Dusty is 38 years old, lives in Bozeman, Montana, and has a sobriety date of 9/21/15, just over 39 months since his last drink. He is an accountant. He loves playing recreational sports, just started playing hockey this year, after learning how to skate.
[10:30 ] Give us a little background about your drinking.
He started drinking when he was in high school and fell in love with it. Same thing through college, but once he finished college that is when his drinking progressed. It was at this time drinking was no longer fun and started to get out of control. He was drinking alone in his apartment.
[11:43 ] Did you ever try and put any rules into play, or try and quit?
He would try and only drink on the weekends, try and cut out beer, try to regulate. It never worked.
[15:01 ] What was your rock bottom, or your tipping point?
After going on a 10 hour bender, watching college football one Saturday in the downtown bars of Bozeman he was informed the following day that he had kicked a girl that night before. He had no recollection of doing that. Running into the girl on Sunday and seeing the look on her face was his rock bottom.
[24:52 ] How did you stay sober after the first month?
He has a great group of friends that once he shared that he was an alcoholic they gave him 100% support. He also got really involved in the RE Facebook group.
[30:35 ] Referring to the quote, “drinking is but a symptom”, do you know why you drank?
Probably genetically predisposed to it, it’s on both sides of his family. And like he stated earlier, he started drinking for fun in high school and then it turned into more of pity drinking in his late 20s.
[38:50 ] Rapid Fire Round
- True or False, love is the answer…and why?
Absolutely! Love conquers all.
- What was your worst memory from drinking?
After moving back from Kentucky he was living with his Mom for a couple of months. She came into his room asking if he was going to work and she screamed after discovering a puddle in the middle of his room. She blamed it on Buster the cat but he was sure it was from him.
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment?
Probably the look on Buster’s face.
- What’s your plan moving forward?
Staying involved with the CaféRE community and creating those relationships. Going to Nashville. Getting out of his comfort zone.
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)?
Get some sober friends.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You pee on the floor in the middle of the night and blame it on your cat.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
This episode is brought to you in support by Blinkist. Right now, my listeners can try Blinkist for free. Visit blinkist.com/elevator for your seven day free trial.
This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Paul Churchill | Jan 22, 2019 | Blog, Helpful Tips, Resources, The first Year
We all love to travel
Nearly every online dating profile can confirm this. We only have a finite amount of time on this planet, and we have a pull to see as much of it as possible. This can be an incredible experience, especially when we’re traveling with fun light-hearted people. When traveling, our guards are often down, and our heart opens to the present moment. The sights, sounds, and smell are all taken in. We are fully present, and this is where the magic happens.
A trip from hell
Traveling the globe is great until it becomes a nightmare. In 2014, I was a counselor for a high school trip, and we had just finished the Inca Trail and exploring Machu Picchu (this is where I got the idea for the 2018 sober travel itinerary to Peru). I had plans to continue my travels after the students returned to Colorado and I was ready to strap on the backpack and let the wind take me. That was the plan at least.
I said goodbye to the group and had every intention of staying sober for the rest of my trip. That internal declaration lasted no more than two hours, and I found myself drunk at the hostel bar later that evening. For the remainder of my stay in South America should have been the sober vacation of a lifetime, but it ended up being a disaster where I wanted to hit the eject button nearly every moment.
Death Road mountain bike tour
After that, I traveled to Puno and visited the highest freshwater body of water on the planet, Lake Titi Caca. Then I visited La Paz Bolivia where I saw Guns and Roses on my birthday. They didn’t sell alcohol at the concert, so I saw it as a sign it was going to be my new sobriety date, my birthday! After the show, I was drunk followed by a brutal hangover for the Death Road mountain bike tour.
After that, I did a jungle tour in the Bolivian Amazon and was so thankful to hear I wouldn’t be near a bar or store that sold alcohol. Well, alcohol is everywhere, and ended up convincing a local to sell me 3 liters of beer. I was becoming demoralized, and the trip was only half done. Next up, my trip involved renting a car and drove (mostly drunk) through northern Argentina, then a 16-hour bus ride over the Andes into Chile where I vomited on myself twice. The bus driver apologized for the windy roads. To the day, I still don’t think he knew I was just flat out drunk. Oh yeah, I forgot about the salt flat in Bolivia and northern Chile. This is usually a highlight for travelers, but I was too hungover to exit the vehicle most days.
Will this trip ever end…
I found myself in northern Chile in the San Pedro de Atacama Dessert wanting nothing more than to just “go home.” I think I even googled “time machine” or “tele-transport” a couple of times in google searches. I was utterly defeated by alcohol at this moment, and I still had ten days left on the trip. I booked a stargazing trip in the desert of Chile which, apart from Machu Picchu, was the best part of the whole trip. During this stargazing excursion, I got a glimpse of the universe. A seed of spirituality was planted in my heart… For a moment, I thought I would be able to go the rest of the trip without alcohol.
Then Lima happened. I woke up every day promising myself I wouldn’t drink. I did so well until the sun went down. I did manage to attend a couple AA meetings in Lima which helped, but overall, it was a total dumpster fire.
I’ve also googled “dolorian time machine” in hopes that I can go back and to that trip again: sober. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if I go back and see these incredible places again. The difference this time is that I won’t do it alone.
Great Experience with Sober Vacations
After that vacation from absolute hell, the idea of sober travel vacations first arrived. I said, I love to travel, and I need to find a way to do it without being tempted to drink. Call it fate, destiny, or whatever, I then started the Recovery Elevator podcast, the sober communities Café RE and we just did our first international dry travel vacation to Peru in 2018 with 20 total attendees. During that trip, not one person drank. We had 20 people who have decided to live a life without alcohol and not one person drank. Incredible. On top of that, laughter seemed to be the theme of each day!
Next up is Asia January 20 – 31st, 2020. We will be flying into Bangkok, Thailand and departing Seam Ream, Cambodia. Apart from exploring two top destinations in Southeast Asia, we will be doing service work with Ourland, an elephant sanctuary, in Kanchanaburi. This sober travel tour should be the trip of a lifetime and simply cannot wait.
If you can’t make a Recovery Elevator sober travel vacation, and you still want to travel, here are some tips.
Tips for sober travel
- Go with a friend who knows you won’t be drinking. This person can hold you accountable and give you support in those difficult moments. Make sure this friend doesn’t prioritize alcohol.
- Go with a sober travel buddy – even better! If you have a sober friend ask them to travel with you.
- Attend an AA meeting. I’ve attended AA meetings in nearly a dozen countries and not only is it great support, it’s a quick way to meet locals. I went to a meeting in Mexico and then was invited to a BBQ at a local’s house. It was so much fun.
- Keep recovery in your pocket – My recommendation is Café RE, but there are several supportive online recovery communities.
- Don’t risk it – Wait till you have some solid sobriety footing before embarking on a sober vacation 2019. If you’re in your first 30 days of sobriety, it may be prudent to wait another couple of months.
- Do not stay at the party – many hostels are where the party happens. Do your research and make sure you have an exit strategy when you’re ready to call it a night.
- Be strategic with your destinations – If sobriety is your goal, then the Spanish party Islands Ibiza, probably shouldn’t be on the itinerary. Maybe think about visiting Morocco where alcohol isn’t part of the culture.
Don’t let your goal of sobriety hinder your travel plans. There are many ways to do this. I’ve been to over 15 countries sober, and I plan to add to that list! Sobriety has given me a life I could never could have imagined. Thanks for being part of it.
by Paul Churchill | Jan 21, 2019 | Podcast
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Kane, with 49 days of sobriety, shares his story.
On January 1st, I launched the 3rd private, unsearchable Facebook accountability group. All Café RE signups starting January 1st-January 31st will be placed in the new group. This group will be capped at 300 members to ensure intimacy. For the entire month of January, you can use the promo code 2019 for 75% off registration.
If you’re a Recovery Elevator podcast listener and you live in or close to the Nashville area, join us Saturday, February 23rd for Recovery Elevator LIVE in Nashville at 7 pm. Go to recoveryelevator.com for more info.
Recover Who We Were Meant To Be
Tony Robbins and Russell Brand recently did a podcast titled Recover Your True Self. In this episode there are two value bombs I want to talk about. The first is Russell Brand’s definition of recovery, and the other is his idea of the main intention of the 12 steps.
At the end of the episode, I share a story about letting go.
SHOW NOTES
[6:49 ] Paul introduces Kane
Kane is 45, lives in Adelaide, Australia, and has 49 days of sobriety. He is a government worker. He loves hiking and doing yoga in the mornings. He is also a birdwatcher. He likes socializing, and has been doing more social events since he’s been sober.
[ 11:00 ] Give us a little background about your drinking.
He started drinking in late high school, and quickly progressed to “drinking for drunkenness.” In college, alcohol became an escape from “this busy brain.” He surrounded himself with friends who drank like he did.
[31:40 ] What does a typical day in your recovery look like?
He gets up early, does yoga and goes to work. After work, he takes his dog Rusty for a walk, and spends time with his wife (without fighting). He has been surprised by how much he enjoys socializing in sobriety
[40:39] What’s on your bucket list in sobriety?
First and foremost, to continue to improve his relationship with his family. He wants to keep expanding his honesty. He is looking forward to eventually getting a caravan (camper) and going on road trips with his wife, birdwatching along the way. He also looks forward to continuing having good times without alcohol.
[44:00] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking?
Not being as good a father as I thought I was.
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment?
Waking up after a blackout, and finding a misspelled note on his phone that he’d written to himself telling him where he’d parked his car after trying not to drive while drunk.
- What’s your plan moving forward?
Socializing, yoga, taking responsibility.
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery?
The Recovery Elevator Podcast. He also has gone to an AA meeting, and enjoyed it. Learning to be able to be honest with others about not drinking.
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)?
Asking “Is this working for me?” and if the answer is “no” change it.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking?
Take responsibility for how you act.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
you ask your mother for lift to your car, because you’d been drinking the night before. When you get to where you think you left your car, it’s not there. You then remember that you’d driven it home drunk. You then ask your mother to drive you a little past your home where you had parked your car so your partner didn’t know you’d driven home drunk.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Tony Robbins and Russell Brand Podcast, Recover Your True Self:
This episode is brought to you in support by Care/Of. For 25% off your first month of personalized Care/of vitamins, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter the promo code ELEVATOR
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Paul Churchill | Jan 14, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Lucy, with 65 days of sobriety, shares her story.
Do I need to avoid social situations where alcohol will be present?
The answer is yes, then no, then yes. Sorry if that’s confusing. I explain better in the episode.
On January 1st, I launched the 3rd private, unsearchable Facebook accountability group. All Café RE signups starting January 1st-January 31st will be placed in the new group. This group will be capped at 300 members to ensure intimacy. For the entire month of January, you can use the promo code 2019 for 75% off registration.
[8:40] Paul introduces Lucy
Lucy, with 65 days of sobriety, lives in London England. She is a freelance makeup artist, which she loves doing. She is single, likes walking, hiking, cooking, and drawing.
[11:30] Give us a little background about your drinking.
Lucy had her first experience with alcohol at age 12. Her drinking kicked into full swing after she was 18, when she began working in bar and nightclubs. She feels that it was a very quick descent into binge drinking and blackouts. By the time she was 21 she found herself drinking alone more and more. She lost every bar job she had because she would not show up for work because she was hungover.
[17:34] Lucy’s first venture into sobriety.
At age 26, after moving to London to be a full-time makeup artist, Lucy realized that she might lose the career she loved if she continued to drink. She tried AA, but it just didn’t resonate with her. Within a year, after white knuckeling sobriety, she went back to drinking.
[20:01] Her rock bottom.
Lucy had a suicide attempt at age 30, which she feels was a cry for help. She regrets what she put her family through at that time.
She then had a second try at sobriety, and found that she had a lot of anger and resentment toward drinkers.
[23:40] Since then, Lucy has realized that each relapse has taught her something. She cannot moderate her drinking at all.
[27:50} Did you attempt to moderate your drinking?
Never doing shots.
Having three blood alcohol calculators on her phone.
Avoiding going out as much as possible.
[44:28] What is your plan in sobriety moving forward?
Not drinking, staying connected, putting sobriety first.
[45:04] Rapid fire round.
- What is your worst memory from drinking?
That night in the hospital after her suicide attempt.
- What was your “oh shit” moment?
My 10th blackout in a row, and a four-day hangover.
- In regards to sobriety, what is the best advice you’ve ever received?
Find your tribe.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners?
Believe in yourself, you’re stronger than you know. There’s a way out for everyone.
[46:45] You might be an alcoholic if . . .
You factor in an extra 100 pounds ($150 US) for every time you go out drinking
Because you never know in what part of the city you’ll wake up, and you might
need to call a cab.
This episode is brought to you in support by Robinhood. Right now, Robinhood is giving my listeners free stock such as Apple, Ford or Sprint to help build your portfolio. Signup at elevator.robinhood.com
