by Paul Churchill | Dec 19, 2016 | Podcast
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Wynn, with 28 years of sobriety, shares his story…
SHOW NOTES
Tis the season to be jolly and sober…..
What are the differences between food cravings and alcohol cravings? Our gut sends signals that tell us to eat. We can only go 14 days without food and 80% of our serotonin is created in our gut. This feeling is very similar when we are craving a drink. The mind starts chirping and gives us false ideas of how good a drink would be. The problem is that when we start drinking, the need is never satiated with only 1 drink and thus the saga continues. The main things to keep in mind is that food keeps us alive. Alcohol is nothing more than a poison in its’ basic form. Food also helps build muscle. Alcohol transforms your body into Barney from The Simpsons. We all needed food to survive from the beginning of our lives. Obviously we can survive without alcohol. Finally, food satiates our hunger cravings. Alcohol cravings are never satisfied until we are beaten to a pulp.
[ 6:20 ] Paul Introduces Wynn.
Wynn is a retired engineer. He has been married 3 times and has a total of 5 children. He currently lives a wonderful life in sobriety, although in his previous life he did many “unlawful” things in which he was never caught.
[ 9:15 ] When did you realize that you had a problem with alcohol?
Wynn – the first time I drank was at 12 years old and it just felt magical. I soon became known as wino Wynn. I came from a good family. Neither of my parents were alcoholics however, the disease was there with my aunts and uncles. Unfortunately my brother was also an alcoholic and his life ended too soon.
[ 14:22 ] Paul asks Wynn, “How do we know when alcohol is trying to convince us that we do not have a problem.”
Wynn – you will know when the change happens. Recognize the pain and do not hide from it. Own your problems. Your HP is showing you what your pain points are.
[ 18:00 ] Wynn discusses an interesting visit with his psychiatrist.
Wynn – my psychiatrist was asking me what I thought was important. I told her that my car, my money, and my house were important to me. She asked if I knew exactly, down to the penny, how much money I had in my account. I could not tell her. She then asked me if I knew how much booze I had at my house. I was able to tell her the amount and type of alcohol, down to the drop, that I currently had in my home. I realized that there was nothing in my life that I kept track of, like I kept track of alcohol.
[ 19:00 ] When was your bottom?
Wynn – I was putting up a new house and borrowed money from some shady characters. I signed a life insurance policy as collateral and walked away with a paper bag full of money. I knew that that bag of money would be my coffin if I did not pay it back. If I drank that money away, I would be dead. Once the house was completed, I paid the money back and tore up the life insurance policy. I started to read The Big Book and found it incredible.
[ 24:00 ] What did you do then?
Wynn – Even though I was talking the talk of AA, I was not walking the walk. I had lost my house, my family and my companies. I was 3 years into AA when I finally got a sponsor.
[ 25:32 ] Paul discusses terminal uniqueness and how dangerous it can be.
Wynn – you have to be trustworthy enough to believe that your HP will take care of you. Everything that happens is exactly how it is supposed to happen. You have to pay attention. I soon realized that my problem with misery was really about myself. I had fear, control and domination issues. We cannot play God. God is willing to be anything we need him to be.
[33:23] Paul asks Wynn if he has every had a close call in 28 years.
Wynn – Yes, I was at the airport and had just been fired. There were no flights outbound and the clerk literally poured me a shot of whiskey. He was handing me my new ticket in 1 hand and the shot of whiskey in the other. I found myself reaching for both when suddenly I heard a voice that told me not to reach for the glass of whiskey. I grabbed the ticket and left.
[ 36:40 ] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? Jail
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Too many times I woke up in the hospital or jail.
- What’s your plan moving forward? Keep redoing the 10th step
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? All of my sponsees’ who stay sober and watch them carry on the message
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Stop digging and put down your shovel
- You might be an alcoholic if? You know more about the quality and quantity of alcohol at home, than you do anything else.
[ 41:00 ] Paul ends the show with a shout out to Brandy – for hitting her 1 year of sobriety mark. He also shares a story about a recent airplane experience.
A flight from Orlando to Denver reinforces Paul’s conviction to remain alcohol free. It is never fun to have to sit next to 2 drunks on a plane. Even worse is to be escorted from the plane by the police.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
RE Retreat – Bozeman Montana – August 24-27. Check the website for details
Connect with Cafe RE
- For $12.00 per month, you can unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel.
- First month FREE with Promo Code Elevator.
Promo Code: Elevator
recoveryelevator.com/survey
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Paul Churchill | Dec 12, 2016 | Podcast
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Melissa has been sober for 1 month… This is her story…
SHOW NOTES
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times….
Many of us believe that we cannot quit drinking. “I am the life of the party, that’s just who I am!” (I bet the crowd around us would beg to differ but that’s besides’ the point.) Life will not be fun if I do not drink. Yeah right- blackouts, hangovers, depression, and anxiety; now that is fun. Paul reviews the time in his life when he owned a bar in Spain. You heard correctly. Paul C = Bar Owner. Seems like an entire lifetime ago. Listed below are the pros and cons of that time period in Spain:
Pro’s – I didn’t die, it accelerated me towards my bottom, I learned to play some fancy Flamenco guitar chords
Con’s – Ambien and booze are not a good combo, missed out on many opportunities/road trips with the senoritas, playing football after being awake for 30 hours straight (the next Peyton Manning? I think not), blackouts, blackouts, and more blackouts, DUI, re-introducing myself to a previous hookup (ouch!), contemplating a 5th floor sky dive
[ 8:38 ] Paul Introduces Melissa. How long have you been sober?
Melissa – 30 days. Melissa explains her background. She is a bartender, married, with 4 children. During her free time, she likes to go to the gym.
Paul asks Melissa what it is like being a bartender. Melissa has been in “The Industry” all of her life (Industry = restaurant, club or bar scene). She felt that bartending would be the way to go early on because of her love of drinking and it seemed fun. Melissa’s family are serious drinkers so she grew up in that environment. She thought normal drinking was boring. Melissa states that when you are in “The Industry” you tend to share similar stories of drinking and it justifies your own behavior.
[ 13:54 ] What is it like bartending with 30 days of sobriety?
Melissa – It’s been easier since I left Las Vegas and now live in Pennsylvania. The environment is also easier. I work in a fine dining establishment instead of a Las Vegas casino. I am used to going through shifts without drinking but would always drink after my shift ended. One of my go to drinks was a kids’ cup filled with ice and straight vodka. Five minutes from home, I would down it.
[ 17:54 ] Staying sober is easy when drunk people are idiots
Paul and Melissa swap stories about working in the industry surrounded by drunk people. Do your local DJ a favor and do not request any more Michael Jackson songs!
[ 18:47 ] What was your bottom?
Melissa – I was attending a birthday party and had brought my 14 year old daughter and her friend. We were staying at a hotel so there were no limits. My daughter and her friend had to come get me from the bar downstairs. She video-taped me while feeding me chicken nuggets. I was a mess and my daughter thought it was hysterical. I didn’t want her thinking that that situation was OK. Our family culture was turning into a dangerous life.
[ 23:55 ] Paul and Melissa discuss the tragic death of her sister
Melissa – she was drinking and driving and attempted to go around the car in front of her. Her car was hit. The accident caused her to break her neck. She was only 21 years old when she was killed. My sister’s story, however, did not stop me from continuing to drink.
Paul – we have all had plenty of “You would have thought (…insert tragic event here…) moments that should have stopped us from drinking. Fear can get you sober but it cannot keep you sober.
Melissa reviews her history of trying AA and remaining alcohol free for 2 years. During that time she picked up a pill addiction. After 2 years she was drinking and taking pills. She weaned herself off of the pills and suffered heavy withdrawal systems. She did not think she was an alcoholic because she was able to stop while pregnant with all of her children. Once the children were born, however, the pressure of motherhood soon had her reaching for the wine bottle.
[ 32:48 ] How have you made it to 30 days?
Melissa – RE podcast, constantly reminding myself of my worst drunk moments and comradery with other recovering alcoholics.
[ 42:35 ] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? Celebrating my 36th birthday and waking up in the hospital not remembering a thing
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Too many CRS (can’t remember shit) moments.
- What’s your plan moving forward? To find a local AA meeting and do the 12 steps. Time to locate those weeds and pull them out!
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Listening to the Big Book will driving and listening to various recovery podcasts
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Inside of every alcoholic’s home are 2 doors with different paths. Behind door #1, there is a monkey who is going to kick your ass down a shorter path. Behind door #2, there is simply a longer path. It’s time to choose door #2!
- You might be an alcoholic if? You have company over and you are sneaking gulps of vodka in between your glasses of wine.
[ 41:00 ] Paul ends the show discussing 3 main themes
Man in the Mirror – drinking causes us to not want to see ourselves in the mirror. What often reflects back is shame and disgust
False Dreams – drinking brings about the notion of false dreams. The actions needed to make these dreams come true are taken away by booze
Geographical Changes – Paul sells his bar in Spain and moves back to the states, eventually ending up in beautiful Bozeman MT. Recovery is an opportunity to change the course of our lives. It’s time to change everything in order to get there.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE
- For $12.00 per month, you can unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel.
- First month FREE with Promo Code Elevator.
Promo Code: Elevator
recoveryelevator.com/survey
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Paul Churchill | Dec 5, 2016 | Podcast
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John has been sober for 17 years.
Adrianne has been sober for 11 years.
This is their story…
SHOW NOTES
According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM), addiction is a brain disorder, not a behavioral problem. This is nothing new so why are we still talking about it? Probably because even though society is starting to finally believe that addiction is a disease and not a moral failing, the stigma attached to addicts remains the same. Wake up people! The studies have shown that addiction can be defined as a primary disease, not an emotional or psychological problem. Our brains become rewired and our choice to pick up flies right out the window when we are in active addiction. Our real choice happens when we reach out for help. It is never too early to reach out.
[ 8:27 ] Paul Introduces John and Adrianne, authors of The Painting and the Piano.
John, sober since 1/5/99 and Adrienne, sober since 7/11/05 currently live in Florida. For the past 3 years they have been working on their story of survival and love. Their book, The Painting and the Piano is like a divine intervention of how they first met and their lives together through the recovery process. John feels that they were chosen to get sober and to pass this on to others.
[ 17:00 ] What was your bottom?
Adrianne – my daughter had to go to the ER after an accident at school. I stopped home before going to the hospital in order to get my pills. I didn’t know how long I would be at the hospital with her and was afraid I would be sick without my pills. My need for the drugs was more powerful than getting my injured child to the ER.
John – driving out of my driveway and seeing my 2 small children looking through the window at me. I knew I was leaving to get another drink and going to have a possible affair. I left anyway and that memory still haunts me of their faces. Looking at myself in the mirror and seeing an 80 year old man looking back was another bottom. I had 3 DWI’s, was losing my business, my friends and was drinking around the clock without bothering to eat.
[ 20:11 ] Do you feel that you can skip any steps in the recovery process?
Adrianne – No, all of the steps you go through were meant to happen and lead you towards your bottom. This needs to happen.
John – Everyone’s bottom is different and how we get there is also different.
[ 23:00 ] John talks about patience
Take time in your relationships. Advised to wait for 1 year before dating. Patience is super important. Let patience be your virtue. 12 steps should be looked at as an opportunity for personal growth
[ 26:53 ] What is on your bucket list for sobriety?
John and Adrianne – this book, educating others on the steps and the AA culture, doing more podcasts, and helping as many people recover as possible.
Adrianne – I would also love to work in the judicial system. There are so many children that are pulled from dysfunctional homes, only to be placed back in them too soon.
John – I believe that 95% of our issues go back to some type of childhood trauma.
So what happened to privileged Paul C who grew up in Vali Colorado? Hmmm, might have to think that one over a bit.
[ 30:00 ] Adrianne shares about her physical pain
I was born addicted to heroin. Later on after years of back pain, I became addicted to pills. All of the surgeries lead to harder addictions. It was a perfect storm of the emotional “F it’s”
[ 34:14 ] What advice would you give your younger selves?
Adrianne – stay off the pity pot!
John – there is no shame in asking for help. Do it now. Change 1 thing every day.
[ 38:25 ] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? Adrianne – When I stopped home before going taking my daughter to the hospital in order to get my pills. John – the memory of my children’s faces as I drove out of the driveway on my way to drink
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Adrianne – breaking down in front of my counselor and realizing I had a problem. John – drinking in the mornings just to stop the shakes
- What’s your plan moving forward? Adrianne – continue to be of service. John – reaching just 1 person, paying it forward.
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Adrianne – don’t be afraid to ask for help. John – stick around for the miracle
Resources mentioned in this episode:
www.paintingpiano.com
www.asam.org
Connect with Cafe RE
- For $12.00 per month, you can unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel.
- First month FREE with Promo Code Elevator.
Promo Code: Elevator
recoveryelevator.com/survey
Sobriety Tracker
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Paul Churchill | Nov 28, 2016 | Podcast
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Stephanie has been sober for 5 years… This is her story…
Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE!
SHOW NOTES
Why do some go down the path of alcoholism faster than others? Why do the wheels come off at different times for all of us? Is it an ‘addictive personality’ disorder? Well, truth is, we can’t find real scientific evidence to prove that an ‘addictive personality’ is a real thing. What we do know is that genetic makeup combined with environmental factors that someone is living with have huge factors in whether or not someone will become addicted to alcohol. For Paul, the wheels came off right around age 21, but there is no way to determine if and when someone will become addicted to alcohol. There are many environmental factors that can slow down or speed up this factor…
[ 7:25 ] Paul introduces Stephanie.
Stephanie has been sober for almost 5 years. She got sober December 31st, 2011. She is 33 and from Alabama. Stephanie works in a Bradford treatment center. She loves to run, kayak and hangout with her family.
[ 8:12 ] Do you have a pink cloud?
Stephanie tries to make her own ‘pink cloud’ every day in that she looks for the positive in everything. She is aware of the things she is grateful for and recognizes where she could be if she didn’t have her sobriety.
[ 14:09 ] Stephanie talks about her drinking experience and the associated health problems that she dealt with.
[ 23:04 ] Stephanie’s Mom and Dad took her to a treatment center on December 30th, 2011.
[ 24:39 ] Do you think you could’ve gotten sober without rehab?
“For me, I don’t think I could. I had to be removed from my situation, completely removed. I had tried little things here and there, but I didn’t know coping mechanisms. I know people can do it, but I just know that I couldn’t have done it.”
[ 25:35 ] Stephanie talk about her program.
Stephanie was able to relate to the AA program. She has had the same sponsor for almost 4 1/2 years. “It was necessary for me.”
[ 26:41 ] Can you pinpoint one rock bottom moment?
“After totalling my car and trying to hide it…” Stephanie was making frequent trips to the liquor store to buys half pints of vodka. When she started drinking in the morning, she realized something had the change.
[ 33:04 ] Walk us through a day in the life of Stephanie.
“Usually I wake up and do a reading from the Hazeldon Foundation and I use an app called ‘My Spiritual Toolkit. I also have a page saved on my phone which has a prayer for each step. Then I’ll take some quiet time. I’m not very good at meditation.” Stephanie takes time to herself in the mornings. She gets up early and tries to go for a run before heading into work. At work, she tries to take 3-4 minutes just to breath and calm down. At the end of the day, Stephanie takes time to reflect on her day, looking for the positive and places where she can do better tomorrow. “I try to get a lot of sleep. I need my 8 hours of sleep and my prayer and meditation time.”
[ 36:09 ] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? “Pancreatitis… That was pretty horrible.”
- What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward? “To not stay stagnant. To change and grow and try to help others as much as possible.”
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? “The Big Book, My Spiritual Toolkit and that prayer page.”
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? “Continue. Make a continuous effort to put one foot in front of the other.”
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? “Do it. Seek treatment if you can. Ask for help and know that you don’t have to be alone.”
“You Might be an Alcoholic If…”
“…You are waking up drinking vodka a 6am and hiding bottles all throughout your room!”
Resources mentioned in RE 93:
Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
Connect with Cafe RE
- For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel.
- First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator.
Hazeldon Foundation Digital Resources
My Spiritual Toolkit
Podcast Resource Info – ‘Addiction now defined as brain disorder, not behavior issue’
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up. WE can do this!”
Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
by Paul Churchill | Nov 21, 2016 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
The article from Cracked.com called How Half Of American Lost Its F^*%cking Mind.
The article from the Atlantic Middle-Aged White Americans Are Dying of Despair
[9:21] Paul introduces Sara
Sara has been sober for 5 months and 10 days, or a total of 163 days. Sara is feeling better than she has ever felt, which is a common response in early recovery. Sobriety has not been all wonderful colors, tastes, and smells. Sara’s experience so far has been overall great, but not without challenges; she has had to overcome some adversity. Which is a very big foundational pillar of life, as nothing comes easy in sobriety, and getting sober is a blind leap of faith. Sara is originally from Louisiana, currently living in New Jersey, she is a psychiatrist who is married with no children. For fun, she does everything she used to do but is learning to do it sober. One of her best sober activities she has enjoyed was attending a Coldplay concert, in which she remembered every single minute. The concert was amazing, as was Sara’s first sober football game, feeling every emotion so much more. One not so cool activity in sobriety was joining friends bar hopping after a football game. Sara struggled, but realized she is no longer “that guy” and could drive home sober.
[13:21 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. When did you hit bottom?
Sara made small attempts to stop two years prior to her sobriety date. During that time, she read a book titled “Freedom from Addiction,” which inspired her; only until an invite to socialize and drink. She would start again and not be able to stop. Eventually, Sara was at a happy hour followed by dinner with lots of drinking. She thought she was good to drive home. She ended up in an accident after which the entire night was a blur. Realizing that she could lose her life and career, even though there were no legal ramifications involved. Sara realized how lucky she was to come out of that situation safe and not in a legal battle. Paul shares his driving while intoxicated experiences. Sara woke up the next day and through the next week she was dazed and confused her memory was foggy as she was self-blaming herself. Everting in her life was going well other than drinking, she questioned why she was sacrificing everything for drinking.
[16:27] How much did you drink?
Sara drank vodka in airplane size bottles, they were easier to consume, leaving no evidence. She would usually drink a few throughout the day, over time it progressed. Her consumption amounts were often up and down, Sara was never one that could have just one or two at dinner, she would always continue drinking through the night. When she decided to stop drinking, she was up to 6-7 drinks per night, and was starting early in the day. For Sara, her disease progression was more about the time of day she started rather than the amount. Usually a couple glasses of wine and some shots of alcohol. Sara tried to put multiple plans of control in place; only drink on the weekend, only after work, no hard liquor. Paul realizes the question of control is a dumb question. The thought that one day we can drink normal must be dismissed.
[19:38] How did you do it? Walk us through the first day, the first week.
Sara’s first week she doesn’t remember much, but had a lot of family events and weddings with open bars where she was put to the test. After she got through all the events without a drink, she wondered why she drank when she was loving everything she was doing sober not understanding why she ever started in the first place. Sara’s first few months have been filled with new activities; biking, hiking, gym. She has replaced drinking with trying new things.
[21:00] Tell us about your program.
Sara didn’t enlist any kind of program. Yet, even before the accident she was listening to sobriety podcasts, as she was contemplating sobriety. Sara then found RE which became her program. While doing her morning routine she has the podcast playing as her preferred recovery resource, along with fitness and other new routines. Paul reminds us that willpower is exhaustible and finite, eventually running out, leading to relapse. We need a daily affirmation to remember why you don’t drink.
[24:07] Sara shares her fears about being “found out” on the podcast: Being a psychiatrist and worried about people learning of her addiction. A lot of friends still don’t understand, and see alcoholics as worst case scenario. Images of bums is the picture normal people have. Sara knows that is not alcoholics are like, but struggles with the stigma even though she knows that is ridiculous. Paul sees Sara’s alcoholism as an untapped asset in her career. Sara chats with addicts face to face in a hospital setting and listens to their struggles. Many of her patients have been through been recovery. Sara’s advice to her patients is to take it one day at a time, she tells them about podcasts as many haven’t found a program. She is also able to offer resources that she uses herself. Paul suggests she uses her own experiences. Sara hopes to get to that point. She remembers to focus on the similarities not the differences. She is just not realizing that she has a problem. Paul is curious when she will get there. Sara realizes she needs to get rid of the fear of judgement. Paul shares how he came out as an alcoholic. Everybody knows somebody in recovery. Paul feels within time her superiors will admire her strength. What if she tells her first patient tomorrow? Sara was trained to never put focus on yourself, but you make exceptions to help with the rapport of the patient. How prevalent is addiction in the ER? Most of the ER is filled with intoxicated people, or those who are experiencing withdrawals; mostly in the evenings on weekends, and during the holidays. Paul knows counselors who have succeeded because they are also in recovery. Sara feels like telling Paul was her first big step going out into the digital world. Sara wants to connect with more people, and thinks she is in the right direction to come out of the closet about her sobriety.
[32:02] How do you stay sober today? Sara is awake at 5 AM does yoga, meditation, and plans her day. Sometimes she works out. After work Sara comes home and starts her evening routine: working out, meditation, and/or some planned quality time with friends and family, tennis lessons, or something new. Sara hopes to try out martial arts. She plans to do something new every few months to continue to grow and bring happiness to life.
[33:00] What is on your bucket list at one year? Sara hopes that after one year she is more involved in the sober community; she doesn’t have any support right now. Besides Cafe RE. She plans to surround herself with more people like her.
[33:57 ] What have you learned about yourself through sobriety? Sara learned that she doesn’t need alcohol to have a good conversation with people, she is OK just being herself. That has been the most intoxicating thing about being sober. Everything is even better without alcohol.
[34:41] What are your plans to stay sober during the holidays?
Sara thought the holidays would be hard, luckily for her she has a lot of family functions that were once her crutch, have become growth experiences. She doesn’t even think about drinking anymore; she auto looks for non-alcoholic beverages. While she misses the one glass of wine once in a while, she is content with beet juice now in a wine glass.
[36:01] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? Night of car accident and the day after; blackout
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Sara has had a lot, mostly waking up not remembering what she did
- What’s your plan moving forward? Using Recovery Elevator and other podcasts. Paul recommends the Bubble Hour podcast
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Taking it one day at a time
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Stop trying to define if they are an alcoholic or not, wasting too many thoughts. Not drinking makes your life better
“You Might be an Alcoholic If…” Your idea of dieting is doing straight shots instead of mixed drinks.
