by Paul Churchill | Jul 25, 2016 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
That’s right, I’m breaking up with the word alcoholic and opting for a simpler less defining answer of I don’t drink.
The idea for this episode came from reading an article written by Meghan Ralston, “I’m Breaking Up With the Word ‘Addict’ and I Hope You’ll Do the Same,” about why she’s breaking up with the word addict… After reading the article I also learned to break up with the word: recovering alcoholic. I hope you like the show notes. As you can probably tell, I’ve had some recent help with show notes since mine leave much to still be desired.
For some reason, when we hear the word alcoholic or addict, it is totally okay for us to accept that person’s description with just that one word… Rarely, do we then ask about his/her job, hobbies, interests, etc… Can you think of any other disease where we describe the person with only the name of the disease?
The words “addict,” “alcoholic,” and “recovering alcoholic,” usually just stop the conversation. I’ve said since Episode 1 that I won’t let the word alcoholic define me. Point being, I’m a person, and sobriety is one of my crown achievements in life. I’m always going to be very proud of the days I am sober.
We need to find a new language or a new way to talk about ourselves. We may need to throw out all of the words we are currently using to describe an alcoholic, an addict or a recovering alcoholic and start anew to open new conversation, new possibilities, and new ideas.
SHOW NOTES
[ 4:56 ] – Paul Introduces Paul
Paul, how long have you been sober?
“18 months and 20 some days sober – both from drinking alcohol and marijuana…”
Paul’s Background – Paul lives just outside of Denver and works with his father in the management of commercial investments. Paul has many interests, including, philosophy, web development, audio engineering and music. Paul’s favorite past time is raising his 6 year old daughter.
[ 7:11 ] – Paul speaks about how the legalization of marijuana in Colorado actually led him to wanting to quit using but he would still drink and then that would trigger a mad desire to smoke. Paul comments, “It’s the ultimate, #1, gateway drug,” (speaking about alcohol), “It just got tiring.” For Paul, sober means no mind-altering drugs whatsoever.
When did you hit your Elevator?
Paul was in a very stressful, failing marriage, a failing business and was under intense pressure. On top of that he was drinking and smoking like a madman. “I had a wild temper. I was not handling my stress well at all, but I just didn’t know how to get out of it. Even if I wasn’t drunk, I would be stoned all the time. Personally, my moods are all over the map. It was totally outrageous…,” says Paul. “I’ve found so much more peace in sobriety.”
[ 14:55 ] “I want to get a year sober, just to see how I feel, because I’ve spent my whole adult life WAAAAYYY overindulging…” Going back and forth is a really nasty yo-yo…
[ 16:04 ] Paul on his his raging 30s… “I was drunk like every single day. I had an $1100 bar tab!” Addiction creeps up on you when you become overindulgent… “I put myself in social situations and over indulged every single time, going to Happy Hour 4x per week and drinking heavily. It takes a toll on the body, the mind, the organs, and your mood.”
[ 19:01 ] Don’t define what “type” of alcoholic you are…
[ 19:36 ] What was it like when you quit? Quit drinking and quit smoking. Paul was so tired of experiencing another emotional low… He was ready for something new. “We are missing out on emotional maturing and development when we’re always getting drunk or stoned or whatever your drug is. You’re running away from problems, numbing yourself.”
Sobriety is the path to emotional maturity.
[ 21:52 ] How did you do IT? Exercise, nutrition, getting the right amount of sleep, meditating in the morning… “Life is like something you have to constantly cultivate.”
[ 23:26 ] How do you cultivate sobriety? Paul’s daily routine.
[ 26:54 ] Meditation Tips from Paul
Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? [ 34:08 ] – “mean drunks.”
- What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward? [ 34:51 ] – continue with daily routines and helping others.
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? [ 35:37 ] – “Living life on life’s terms.” You can’t throw a drug at a problem to fix it.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to our listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? [ 36:08 ] – “Just do it.” Learn to believe that you can change — get help.
Quotables
“You almost have to surrender twice. You surrender to the point that you are powerless to the addictions…” – Paul
“I’ve found so much more peace in sobriety.” – Paul
“I need more friends who are into sober activities and stuff… Sober up and let’s hangout!” – Paul
Add words to the list! What are some possible words we can use to shift the language associated with addiction and recovering? Change the language and open up new possibilities!
If you have words to add to this list comment below or send us an email…
Or how about just — “I DON’T DRINK.” “I DON’T F###### DRINK.” “I DON’T DRINK.” “I DON’T DRINK TODAY, AND THE PLAN IS I DON’T DRINK TOMORROW.”
Resources mentioned in this episode
Connect with Cafe RE
- For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via meetups, private-unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel.
- First month FREE with Promo Code Elevator.
Promo Code: Elevator
Meghan Ralston’s Article
Headspace – Meditation App
Marijuana Anonymous
FitSpaz – FitSpaz, a fitness website run by Coach Paul the Producer, helping people get fit, healthy, and sober.
FitSpaz on Facebook
Support Recovery Elevator and other non-profits by using the link below to shop on Amazon.
This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
“We took the elevator down, now let’s take the stairs back up, because we don’t drink.”
by Paul Churchill | Jul 18, 2016 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
In this Episode, Ronnie, with 25 years of sobriety shares how he did it. We also discuss 50 ways to stay sober this summer.
Episode #74 RE with Ronnie Marmo
Ronnie got sober a few times throughout his life, once at age 17 and again at age 20. At age 20, he found himself smoking crack on the sidewalk after 3 years of sobriety… One drink of alcohol was his gateway drug.
Ronnie’s background:
Lives in L.A. and works as an actor and director, running two theater companies. Check out 68 Theatre Company. Ronnie is 45 and married with a dear family… For more information on Ronnie and his work – ronniemarmo.com.
Take us back to age 20…
Was that your bottom?
For me, “I was out of control ever since I started drinking. I always drank and got high in the same way. I was never a social drinker, I had no interest in drinking socially.”
It went something like this – one gallon of vodka, one quart of Yukon Jack, and then I found myself waking up at a sober picnic. My sponsor asked me if I was humble enough… I said yes, and went back to rehab for the 3rd time.
What is it like being sober in your industry?
It’s like anything, many people are sober, once you start talking “our” language. Those who do drink and get high, it’s never an issue, but I tend to gravitate towards people who are sober.
Let’s talk rules: Did you ever try to put rules into place?
“I thought alcohol was a problem, but I didn’t think it was my biggest problem. I constantly negotiated with myself. Normal people don’t hide bottles. Normal people don’t wake up needing a drink.”
People have gone on retreats and think that anxiety is the issue, or depression is the issues, when underneath it is really the alcohol.
Literally, every day of my life I spent my day trying to figure out how to get more booze.
Do you remember your first intensive rehab?
“I hadn’t even seen the STEPS on the wall!”
Now, I have a healthy fear of booze.
Talk to me more about this healthy fear, I’m terrified of this stuff…
When I look at it, it’s rare that I glorify a drink. When I see booze, I get nervous. If I ever take a second to glorify it. I immediately think I could destroy my life. It happens quickly.
That thought is so fleeting, it’s not even an option.
Bill W. and Dr. Bob:
http://theatre68.com/
Playing in north Hollywood, CA
Soon to star in the movie, Back in the Day.
Walk me through a day in your sobriety:
I don’t go to as many meetings as I should, but I never miss my Wednesday home meeting.
If I do these things daily:
If I don’t do these things, life is just harder…
What are your thoughts on relapse:
It’s a weird disease because you have to self-diagnose it. It’s 2:30 in L.A. right now, if I had a drink right now, I’d be smoking crack by 7:30pm… Relapse doesn’t have to happen, but if it does, hopefully you can choose sobriety again quickly.
What would you say to your younger Ronnie:
“The sooner you can get past being so dependent on the drink or the drug the sooner you can get on with your life, doing what you really want to do.”
“No matter where you go or what you do, drink a lot of water and walk slow.”
What’s still on your bucketlist:
- Doing what I love
- Helping others
- Shoot a movie in Italy for a summer…
All these items are attainable with sobriety.
Rapid Fire Round:
1.What was your worst memory from drinking?
Stealing my mother’s pocket book.
2.Did you ever have an oh-shit moment?
I had a spiritual awakening in the courtroom, asking the judge for help. The things that came out of my mouth were nothing that I had intended to say when I walked in.
3.What is your plan for sobriety moving forward?
Keep showing up and trying to be graceful, reaching out to others, and trying my best on a daily basis to stay with a formula that works. Keeping it super simple!
- Favorite resources?
Meetings
- Best advice you’ve ever received?
Drink a lot of water and walk slow
- What parting piece of guidance can you give?
If you are thinking about it (getting sober) and it’s on your mind, there’s a really good chance that you should be doing it. Give it a really strong 90 days.
“You might be an alcoholic if…”
You might be an alcoholic if you steal from someone you love just to get a drink or a drug.
You might be an alcoholic if after 2 years of sobriety you take a drink and later you end up smoking crack.
Connect with Ronnie:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ronnie.marmo
Twitter: @Ronniemo22
50 Ways to stay sober this summer
- Wear sun screen – Lots of sunscreen
- La Croix Soda water. Drink lots of soda water
- Enjoy time in a hot tub / spring or sauna
- Beach trip: The small stream behind your neighbor’s house even has a beach
- Movie Day: The Anonymous People
- Scroll through your phone contacts and call someone you did wrong in the past. Don’t tell them what they did wrong, but what you did wrong
- Binge watch old TV episodes: Prefably not Mad Men, they drink like fish
- Yoga / Meditation
- Create a new sober drink concoction. Watermelon and milk is one I stumbled upon
- Do that fitness thing: Biking, swimming, whiffle ball, golf etc.
- Join a Book Club that actually reads the book
- Adopt-A-Pet, dog, cat, gecko
- Think of the most pressing issue in your life right now… and then write down what your part of it is.
- Go to a museum
- Pinterest – find new recipes or a DIY project on Diypete.com
- Google Mindfulness and what that really means
- Buy a new car; one that you have never drank in
- Learn how to shoot a bow and arrow
- Find something like Jolly Ranchers to subside cravings
- Build a pergola or Sauna at your house
- Gauge your emotional sobriety (in the future) by purposefully removing the staples out of your stapler
- Volunteer – be of service (This is a big one)
- Acceptance is the answer – period
- Take a look in the mirror and observe what you see. Get REal with yourself
- New Hobbies- Painting / Coloring
- Travel – take photos of you wearing your RE shirt
- Fundraise for the Recovery Elevator trip to Peru in April 2017
- Go to an outing wearing a shirt that says something like “sober as shit” so no one offers you a drink
- Listen to the RE Podcast episode 52 – one of my favorites
- Play a good natured joke someone
- Pay for the person’s order behind you – Regardless of what line you find yourself in
- Attend a 12 step meeting on the other side of town that speaks a different language
- Enjoy NA Drinks such as a virgin a piña colada
- Announce to the world you’re an Alcoholic via facebook and become accountable – the results will pleasantly surprise you
- Read page 471 in the big blue book: daily
- Once again, tell yourself acceptance is the answer
- Put your forehead on a baseball bat, spin around 15 times, and give the person closest to you a hug
- Google CBT – Charlie Beta Typhoid
- Jump rope – I’ve never heard of a relapse while jump roping
- We all know someone who should probably think about giving the bottle a rest. Invite them to Dairy Queen for their lunch specials from 11:30pm – 2pm and then take them to an AA meeting. They will most likely thank you later
- Water balloon fight – freezing balloons the night before is optional
- Watch the movie dodgeball with Ben Stiller, and then watch it again
- Third Eye Blind – All of it – #bestbandever
- Check out your local events calendar and go to an event you’re not interested in attending
- Laser Tag
- Take a sober road trip with another sober buddy of at least 100 miles each way. On your way, stop and say hello to me in Bozeman MT
- Get flowers or a gift card for someone you absolutely cannot stand to be around
- Ask yourself if you’re where you want to be in life at this very moment. If the answer is now, ask yourself if you’re willing to something about it
- Sunscreen – wear Lots of sunscreen
- Go get a natural high – sky diving, jump off the high dive at the local pool, go carts etc.
- Don’t Drink
Let me know at info@recoveryelevator.com how many of these you tried this summer!
Don’t forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
by Paul Churchill | Jul 11, 2016 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Barb, with 15 days of sobriety, shares her journey.
I got the idea for today’s podcast from an article sent to me from a dear friend that was in the Lush. Fitting publication eh?
Don’t forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
by Paul Churchill | Jul 4, 2016 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Ty, sober since March 2008, shares how she implements service work into her life to stay sober.
I want to give a huge personal thank you to Ty for helping me with the Recovery Elevator podcast. I can’t do any of this alone. Thank you Ty.
Also in this episode I interview Jesse from My Sober Roommate.
Don’t forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
by Paul Churchill | Jun 27, 2016 | Early Sobriety, Expectations, The first Year
I have returned after a long absence! Things are proceeding along for me, and I’m over five months sober–157 days.
My neighborhood is surrounded by a major construction project, one of many throughout our fair city. I have determined this to be more than the usual “construction season” work typical for Minnesota in the warm months, in preparation to host the Superbowl in 2018. This is a huge time of transition for the city, and I only hope its effects are lastingly beneficial to the citizens.
What truly astounds me is that for only being a few blocks away, my home is still calm, peaceful, and amazingly quiet.
It’s easy to draw the connection, here. As I continue to reconstruct my life through this process of recovery, it can get loud. Obnoxious, sometimes. The inner turmoil of being under construction can be exhausting. Sometimes people close to me have to dodge and duck from mishandled rebar and concrete. I’m not a practiced worker, yet. Sometimes I knock out walls that are meant to be load-bearing with a flick of the wrist while helming a wrecking ball, when all I needed was a hammer. Really all I needed was a level (head).
But my head isn’t always level, and that’s where my Higher Power comes in, when I remember to ask for it. My HP is the site supervisor. It’s what props those walls back up, shuts things down when they overheat, and offers the right tools for the tasks at hand.
And when I’m really paying attention, my HP provides peace, tranquility, and serenity in the middle of a million noisy construction projects. My HP is what keeps the grass green and the trees blooming in the Edens at the eyes of the storms.
And my HP allows me to do a little damage sometimes, make mistakes and try things I’m not fully trained to do, because making those choices will ultimately teach me so much more. So I can grow like the gardens and the parks, live free and wild and always changing.
I hope I’m always a little bit under construction: constantly improving but never perfectly complete.
About the Author: Sarje Haynes is a grateful recovering alcoholic from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Learn more about her journey in sobriety at: https://nowbehere.org/about/
