How Quitting Drinking Made Me a Better Traveler

by Paul Churchill | Mar 6, 2019 | Blog, Expectations, The first Year

By Claire O’Brien

A few months before I quit drinking for good, the husband and I stole a few days to lounge on the sand at the Delaware Shore. It was September, and the air was still warm but the crowds had thinned, leaving us the wide beaches to ourselves.

We had three entire days to soak up the sun and watch the dolphins dart among the waves. So, I was pretty annoyed to wake up one morning so hungover that I had to grit my teeth to force myself to face the day.

A few precious days that we’d paid a lot of money for, which I was now just trying to survive. At brunch, I’d order coffee (obviously), and avocado toast (healthy!) and make chit-chat with my husband about how to spend the day. He might not notice, but I’d be distracted, hardly present at all, because mentally I’d be berating myself for swilling that extra glass of red wine, again.

Maybe I wasn’t the biggest drinker you’d have ever met.  But, I definitely had a habit, and it was getting old. Frankly, so was I. How many days traveling over the last 20 years had I wasted from overindulging? I couldn’t even guess.

But, what’s traveling without drinking anyways? Swilling pints of lager in cozy London pubs. Pounding shots of rakija in Croatia. Sipping wine with every meal in France. Spilling sticky cups of rum and cola on the dance floor in Belize. And a personal favorite, guzzling margaritas from a can in Mexico. Traveling means experiencing life to the fullest! That means alcohol. And lots of it

Less than a year later, I was back in Rehoboth Beach for my 2-year wedding anniversary. This time, I was six months into my post-alcohol experiment. I booked a B&B, famous for its waffles in the morning and free wine in the evenings

Immediately, my mind flooded with anxious thoughts

“How can I travel without drinking?”

“How can I celebrate my anniversary without alcohol?

and most urgently, “But…free wine!”

Then I remembered that I once celebrated a trip to the grocery store with wine. So…maybe my excuses are still pretty flimsy

It rained all three days in Rehoboth Beach on that trip. I didn’t drink. It was totally fine. In fact, it was much more than fine. I spent too much money on used books and antiques. We took the ferry over to New Jersey and explored the Victorian town of Cape May. We ate fresh seafood. I challenged the waiters to bring me “the funnest” non-alcoholic drink they could invent

Instead of being a liability, I woke up early to research activities. I assumed the podcast DJ duties on the drive.  I made ridiculous observations intended to make the husband laugh. When I returned home content and invigorated, rather than depressed and full of regrets, I conceded that perhaps I really was onto something.

Traveling without drinking is not only possible…but dare I say, preferable? Before you shriek “Heresy!” hear me out

Since that Delaware trip, I’ve spent several weeks in Scandinavia. My birthday fell during a 7-day work trip to Las Vegas. I spent a luxurious weekend in a Pennsylvanian resort and survived many visits home to California. I just returned from a week in the Netherlands. All accomplished without even one cheeky drink.

I’ve met other people that don’t drink while they’re busy exploring the globe. Some just don’t like it, some want to save money, and others were in recovery.  At an afterparty in Rotterdam recently, my new friends hardly touched a drop of booze, just because!  I’ve realized that traveling without drinking isn’t really about abstaining from this magical liquid worshiped the world over, but about feeling empowered to make decisions that work for you.

As a regular drinker, even if you don’t have an obvious problem, the ritual begins to make your world smaller. It’s imperceptible at first. Weekends might involve having a few drinks with friends. Soon, the two become completely intertwined. Next, your brain wonders,

“How can I even hang out with the girls without drinking?”

“Is it possible to attend this wedding without toasting with champagne?”

“How will I visit Scotland without sampling a few drams?”

“How can I survive Tuesday?”

In some ways, my lengthy travel resume, with its regular doses of the unfamiliar, prepared me for this new life sans alcohol. What’s more uncomfortable than quitting a 20-year habit, especially one that is both so soothing and socially encouraged? If the point of travel is to escape the ordinary, experience our differences, and push against the boundaries of what’s comfortable, then quitting drinking has, in fact, also made me a better traveler.

I’m more adventurous than ever.

I’ve always considered myself a risk taker. But that quality didn’t extend to my drinking ritual, which was really more of a drinking rut. Now, every restaurant, city, and country is an opportunity to sample the new. Frothy glass of hot pink dawet at a Surinamese restaurant in Amsterdam? Sure! Traveling in Sweden was a delightful surprise. I found an extensive non-alcoholic wine and beer list on every menu, none of which I would have glanced at before.

My adventurousness even extends beyond my drink choices.  One random evening I came up with the idea that I should fly to every international destination served by a direct flight from Washington, DC. And write about it. Then, more astonishingly, I actually started doing it.

I’m more flexible.

Previously, every evening ended with drinks, with few exceptions. Now, experiences of all kinds are crammed into my days. In Las Vegas, I spent the evenings visiting the museums and aquariums. I splurged on fancy tasting menus and rented a vehicle to explore the desert. On a whim, I rode in a drift supercar around the Las Vegas Speedway. It was harder to be spontaneous when I was preoccupied with where I could buy wine on Sundays and wondering if I had remembered to pack my corkscrew.

I’m more responsible.

I was the type of drinker that managed to get shit done. But I was still just managing. Once, because I was so disorganized, my debit card was declined while attempting to buy a single stick of deodorant. I was 35 years old. Now, my kitchen is clean. All the dogs and humans in my house are current on their medical appointments. And there are probably fewer than three empty coffee cups floating around my car. I have a savings account dedicated solely to travel, which I diligently contribute to monthly. All trips get paid for in cold, hard, cash.

I have piles of money.

Ok, I’m not exactly stacking bricks of cash, but booze is expensive, especially when you are consuming it with the frequency I once found refreshing.  Since my travel fund isn’t being depleted quite so rapidly due to lengthy pub sessions, I’m able to spend more on quality experiences. Like upgrading to Economy Plus!

I have more fun.

Ironically, I’m more outgoing and social since giving up the hooch. The dark cloud that followed me around gradually evaporated, making a cheerful and upbeat mood my default personality. Who knew? Now I’m the person planning adventures, not bailing on invitations at the last minute. I’ve instigated weekends away for welding classes, white water rafting, tree climbing courses, and exploring Jamaica while encouraging friends and family to join me.

I’ve become more resilient.

It didn’t happen overnight, but I developed healthy* coping techniques for stress, boredom, and all of the feels that I don’t like. Things still go wrong when I travel. In Richmond, the husband got food poisoning courtesy of a dodgy roadside gyro. In Sweden, it was an AirBnB fiasco. In Las Vegas, I mysteriously scratched my cornea and required medical attention. Now it’s easier to figure out what I need to do next without requiring an entire bottle of wine to cope.

Note: *Debatable if coconut ice cream with Magic Shell chocolate topping qualifies as healthy.

I’m more authentic now.

Confronting my worst habits and the role my ego played in prolonging the behavior was a humbling experience. The process of building new habits in their place, however, has grown my confidence. Also, without the daily dose of self-loathing, waking up every day as myself isn’t so bad. I don’t have to present as anyone else or hide parts of my life of which I’m ashamed. So, I’m able to more sincerely connect with people both at home and while traveling. Since I’m less distracted by my own internal dramas, I’m more interested in getting to know you.

I’m also less judgemental.

Like most well-traveled people, I considered myself to be very open-minded. Conversely, like most drinkers, I distrusted people who didn’t drink! I viewed cultures and customs that didn’t embrace alcohol with extreme skepticism. Now, that’s no longer an issue, which has opened up parts of the world and experiences I wouldn’t have seriously considered before. (Seven-day silent meditation retreat, no problem! Well…)

My life is bigger.

Probably not a coincidence, but around the same time I gave up alcohol, I completely restarted my professional career from one in the sciences to a more creative field. Five years ago, my options seemed few, and now I’m limited only by the hours in the day. Because there’s less holding me back, there’s much more space to move forward. Opportunities seem to be present everywhere. Travelling has become less of a selfish pursuit of simply accumulating more countries.  Now it’s more of a shared experience, of learning, of inspiring myself and connecting with others.

Sure, there’s the occasional pang for the experiences I’ll miss. I’m human.

My brain sends up random flares like, “I might want to go to Tokyo next year. Clearly, this will be impossible to do and not drink sake.”

It’s a little bit like having a fleeting thought about an old lover. For a brief moment, the fantasy, the “What if?”, is seductive.

“Don’t I deserve some fun? Let’s be exciting and a little dangerous!”

It’s also the perfect way to create a total dumpster fire out of this otherwise satisfying life I’m building.

My love of travel stems from life’s possibilities. Endless combinations of routes to plan, experiences I haven’t had, people I haven’t met, and future memories I’ve yet to make. It’s not such a sacrifice for me to skip a few cocktails when the payoff could be so much bigger, and bolder. When I finally put down that drink, I found that I held a nonstop ticket to the rest of my life, and I want to see where it goes.

Additional blog posts by Claire O’Brien can be found at her webiste the Virgin Colada.

12 Reasons Why Sober is Better for 2019

by Paul Churchill | Dec 31, 2018 | Blog, Expectations, The first Year

The decision to cut alcohol out of your life will pay off huge dividends in 2019 and much longer. Trust me…

Happy New Years Eve! Breaking news… You don’t have to drink today. In fact, over the years, I’ve met several people whose sobriety date was December 31st. You can have a hangover on the first day of the year, or you can wake up feeling refreshed. It’s up to you.

Deep down inside, at the core evolutionary level, we arrive on this planet fully equipped to live a happy life without any external substances. Especially alcohol. Here are 12 reasons why sober is better and why it’s a good idea to get the new year started off right with the Best Sobriety Podcasts.

1. Look you’re best

In Café RE, I see before and after pics posted all the time and oh my goodness are the transformations incredible. Within 30-60 days of quitting drinking, you’ll have people pull you aside and say, what’s your secret? You must be eating at the new vegan restaurant next door and are sipping on pure kale juice? I want to be clear, this statement has nothing to do with shedding pounds. I’ve seen people go up to their beautiful healthy weights, I’ve seen the color of people’s skin change, I’ve seen smiles return to faces.

2. Feel your best

More important than looking your best (external), you’ll start to feel your best (internal). I remember when I was drinking, the first 10-20 seconds when I woke up in the morning were intimidating. I knew I was going to feel less than average. Upon waking, I was afraid to fully assess the amount of damage I had done to my central nervous system the night before. The most important catalyst to feeling your best starts with sleep. While drinking, there was no quality sleep. If I could summarize how I feel in sobriety with one word, that would be – rested.

3. Alcohol can fix things you didn’t know were broken

Within time, you’ll start to notice issues (internal and external) slowly begin to fade away. These could be health issues or turbulent relationships with loved ones or co-workers. I never was a long-distance runner. I didn’t think I had the genetics to do it. I would tell myself that I’m built for quick bursts, like a cheetah. In sobriety and my normal one to three mile runs turned into five, seven and even a twenty-three mile ridge run race at year 3 in sobriety.

4. Make the most of your time spent on this planet

Human beings are awake on average 15 hours and 30 minutes per day. Make all the hours great. I remember towards the tail end of my drinking, the first 6-8 hours of every day were blah, at best. I’d then turn a corner and say, okay, I’m starting to feel better. A couple hours later I’d say, I’m feeling good, today is a good day. Unfortunately, at that moment, I’d also say, let’s take a detour from the present moment and start drinking. No matter how many times I promised myself today would be different.

5. Build better relationships

The opposite of addiction is connection and while we’re drinking, we’re not connecting. We may think imprinting our ass on a bar stool for hours at a time helps us build lifelong friendships that will endure the test of time, but that’s not the case. Conversations without alcohol are always more enjoyable. They’re authentic. Also, when we quit drinking, it will become clear who we need to spend time with.

6. Confidence

I had this feeling as a kid, and I think most of us had it at some time in our life, which was I can do anything if I put my mind to it. That feeling is better than any drink, drug, adrenaline rush, etc. In sobriety, you’ll find your inner voice saying things like, “I think I can do this,” which transitions into “I can do this,” to eventually, “I am doing this.” This state of mind was gone when I was drinking. Welcome back!

7. Less fear

The underlying level of fear in your life will drastically be reduced. You’ll be less afraid. You’ll stop making decisions based on fear. You’ll be more proactive in life instead of reactive. If we are always making decisions based on fear, we aren’t moving forward in life.

8. You’ll save a sh*&^t ton of money

According to my Recovery Elevator sobriety tracker, I have saved $37,486 since I quit drinking. This isn’t chump change found under a couch cushion. That’s a lot of money. This past April, I closed on a house on 1.5 acres outside of town. I’m surrounded by mountains, across the street is a 1,200-acre dairy farm, and the sunsets are epic. Down payment required for this house was, roughly the amount I’ve saved from drinking. This would have never happened if I was drinking.

9. You’ll be living in the present Moment

You’ll find yourself saying, what is this? This intangible presence that I can’t touch but I know is there. The thing that I’m hyper aware of that I never seemed to notice before. It must be the present moment. When we live in the present moment, depression (the past) and anxiety (the future) fade away. Why is the present moment so powerful? Because it’s all we have.

10. Avoid unnecessary disasters

You won’t be ruining your cousin Mindy’s wedding, or you won’t park a car in your neighbor’s pool. It seemed like once a year I did something I deeply regretted. At first, it was making an ass out myself at a party, but as the drinking progressed, the consequences became more catastrophic, like a DUI while driving to work in 2014. It’s nice to put substantial distance between me and those tragic events in life.

11. Create the future you want

I thought I could make the life I realized a reality while I was drinking, but that wasn’t the case. The grandiose goals and plans I projected in my future during my drunken states, never even reached a whiteboard when sober. As long as I was drinking, the tires of life were spinning in the sand and towards the tail end of my drinking, the tires were removed entirely. This is where sobriety gets exciting. The life transitions that I’ve seen take place are incredible. I met a guy named Patrick who attended the Peru trip and in sobriety, he has sold a portion of his shares in his restaurant group, purchased one of those “souped” up sprinter vans with Scandinavian interior finishes, bought like a 50 mountain ski pass and is living the life he’s always wanted to live. Anything is possible in sobriety.

12. You’ll start to make healthy memories

Within time, you’ll start to create new, fun and exciting memories. I’ll be honest, getting sober was a challenge, to say the least, but in the past four years, I’ve had some incredible memories and met some fantastic people. Several of these memories are from Recovery Elevator meet-ups. Some of them are epic sunrises with my standard poodle Ben. It’s also a compilation of the excellent smaller memories. It’s the little things that count!