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RE 489: The Best Parts of an Alcohol-Free Life

by Kris Oyen | Jul 1, 2024 | Podcast

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Episode 489 – The Best Parts of an Alcohol-Free Life

Today we have Chris. He is 56 years old and lives in Beacon, NY and took his last drink on April 18^th, 2024.

Registration for our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam opens TODAY! This upcoming January 9^th-20^th, 2025, we’re heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers.

Welcome to our new listeners! We are glad to have you with us. You are in the right place. There is a whole new authentic life awaiting you, which isn’t far away.

Congratulations to Paul and his wife on the birth of their new baby boy!

Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator – 10% off your first month. #sponsored

[04:10] Thoughts from Paul:

A few weeks ago, Paul asked our Instagram followers what is the best part of being sober or living an alcohol free life. He shares with us some of the responses he received.

The four biggest commonalities he saw were:

More authenticity
Less shame and regret
More energy
More clarity

Think of the sobriety quote “you’re giving up one thing for everything”.

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[11:16] Paul introduces Chris:

Chris says he is 56 years old and grew up in northern New Jersey, close to NYC. Cooking is his passion, and he has worked in the food and beverage industry all of his life, currently in a director role. Chris also enjoys the outdoors and currently lives in the Hudson Valley.

Beyond the occasional night of overindulgence, Chris says his drinking was normal. He was around alcohol a lot in the industry he works in. After getting married, he and his wife enjoyed entertaining in addition to traveling to wineries and distilleries and building a collection. Over time Chris began drinking more than just wine with dinner, had booze all over the house and was drinking earlier in the day and more often.

After he and his wife got divorced, Chris found himself drinking more heavily and was less discriminate of what he was drinking as long as he was getting his fix, as he calls it.

He was breaking commitments and becoming less functional in his day-to-day life.

Chris didn’t drink heavily around other people but told his family in 2018 that he needed help. He went into treatment and was able to gain 14 months. He was part of a sober community called Ben’s Friends geared towards those in the service industry. Chris was able to gain some sobriety time but had a series of stops and starts with several more visits to rehab as well.

Currently at 34 days, Chris is working on rebuilding his life. He knows time will heal his relationships with family, and he is attending IOP for accountability. He is spending a lot of time outdoors and is grateful that the weather has been nice. He attends AA meetings, Café RE chats, and participates in meetings with Ben’s Friends. Missing meetings is a non-negotiable for Chris and he also makes sure to nurture himself physically and spiritually.

Chris’ best sober moment: being present with his partner while on vacation.

Chris’ parting piece of guidance: stay connected.

Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.

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RE 488: Hello Truth

by Kris Oyen | Jun 24, 2024 | Podcast

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Episode 488 – Hello Truth

Today we have Christine. She is 58 and lives in Ontario. She took her last drink on December 29^th, 2022.

Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9^th-20^th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1^st. We have room for 25 passengers on this journey. We have AF workshops, a home stay and a service project planned, plus you’ll be traveling with others who have already ditched the booze.

Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator – 10% off your first month. #sponsored

[02:56] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares with us some articles reminding us of what we already know: alcohol is shit.

Society is waking up to the fact that no amount of alcohol is good for you.

In 2023, GQ had an article titled The Year We realize Any Alcohol Is Bad For You.

The World Health Organization, who once supported the stance that one to two drinks per day is beneficial, is now doing an about face. Their headline was No Level of Alcohol Consumption is Safe For Your Health.

The New York times also had an article further showing that the truth is emerging: Even A Little Alcohol Can Harm Your Health.

Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction shares Canada’s Guidance on Alcohol and Heath.

NBC News shares their take on the fact that drinking moderately is not healthier than abstaining

If you want to join the discussion, go to the Recovery Elevator Instagram page and let us know what your thoughts are on today’s intro. Or write to your local politician and let them know that alcohol is shit.

Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20

[10:08] Kris introduces Christine:

Christine is 58 years old and has two adult children, two cats, and is divorced. Christine is a massage therapist and enjoys participating in theater and reading in her spare time.

Christine said that she knew there was alcoholism in her family, and her parents didn’t drink. She knew it was something that people needed to be careful with.

While at university, she saw her older brother participating in the party scene and believed that drinking was just part of the experience. She started drinking and says that it was like a release valve for her and helped her with her awkwardness.

After marrying her husband, Christine says drinking wasn’t part of their life for a long time. The occasional bottle of wine turned into more alcohol towards the end of the marriage. Upon splitting up and moving to a new community, Christine found a music scene and easy friends there to frequently spend time drinking with.

Christine feels she was leading a double life and not many people knew the extent of her drinking. Her brother noticed and was concerned. Christine started having regret for her drinking and attempted moderation for a while.

Eventually she picked up Allan Carr’s book at the bookstore and began taking notes. Toward the end of 2019 she was able to quit for a period of time until the pandemic struck.

Since she was not working and unable to care for her parents as she had been doing, she used the time to drink and felt entitled to the break. After being able to go out again, she started feeling the shame and despair set in. She began to realize she wasn’t going out for the music and friends, but for the drinks. After getting sick for two weeks and being unable to drink, something told Christine to take this opportunity to keep going.

Christine found podcasts, YouTube testimonials, and began reading quit lit again feeling called to sobriety. She joined and became active in Café RE. Keeping a list in her phone of her whys and why nots which helped her a lot.

Christine’s parting piece of guidance: we shouldn’t be asking ourselves if it’s bad enough to quit, we should be asking if it’s good enough to keep.

Chrstine’s plan in sobriety going forward: seeking in-person connections.

Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.

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RE 487: How Would You Walk?

by Kris Oyen | Jun 17, 2024 | Podcast

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Episode 487 – How Would You Walk?

Today we have Sarah. She is 45 and lives in Indiana. She took her last drink on December 31^st, 2022.

Let’s talk AF International travel with Recovery Elevator. We’ve got some incredible trips in the works. We’re going to Vietnam for 12 days in January 2025. Then Back to Costa Rica for our 4th trip to the Blue Zone in April 2025, and then, we’re going back to Peru in October 2025 where we’re going to the Inca Trail and work with Non-profit Peruvian Hearts again.

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[02:42] Thoughts from Paul:

The World Heart Federation published a policy brief in 2022 staying there is “no level of alcohol consumption that is safe for health.” There was and still is a collective belief that alcohol is good for you. This is especially prominent in the wine culture.

The paradigm is slowly cracking which is a huge step in the right direction. When Paul started Recovery Elevator in 2015, you couldn’t find that line anywhere. It was almost customary to see a line that says something like “studies show moderate alcohol consumption can improve heart health and longevity”. Today the tides are turning and a narrative that alcohol can wreck your world (aka, the truth) is emerging. People are waking up to the lies that Big Alcohol has sold us.

Check out this recent article about a new phenomenon called BORGS explains what these are and then follows it up with the snippet about alcohol being shit.

[09:18] Paul introduces Sarah:

Sarah is 45 and lives in Indiana. She is married with two kids and works in marketing. When she isn’t running the kids to their practices and games, she enjoys exercising, reading and backpacking.

Sarah parents divorced when she was 11 and she grew up with her mother who she was very close with. She doesn’t recall alcohol being very present in their lives. Sarah didn’t drink much in high school but in college and into her 20s, everything she and her friends did involved alcohol. She always knew her drinking looked a little different than everyone else’s, but didn’t identify it as a problem.

When Sarah was 35, her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. Sarah quit working so that she could care for her mother through the diagnosis. Her drinking increased as she dealt with being a caretaker, having a family in addition to not working.

After her mother died four years later, Sarah says she did not know how to deal with life. She would drink into a blackout almost daily and was stuck in the cycle of wanting to quit but not being able to. Sarah began to worry that it might not be possible for her and worried that she would disappoint her mother if she wasn’t able to quit.

In time, Sarah found sober podcasts and tried medications to help. She says Antabuse worked, but she would stop taking it in order to drink. No one knew she was taking it to try and quit and Sarah feels that by not sharing, she always left the door open to drink again.

Sarah knew something had to change and decided to come clean with her husband. Being active in the Café RE community helped Sarah gain the courage to choose a quit date and write a letter to her husband letting him know what was going on. Sarah says she received a lot of support from him.

After the physical withdrawals, Sarah felt hopeful. As the months went on, she protected her sobriety by avoiding situations where there was drinking, and she began to gain more confidence. Sarah says that when she has thoughts of drinking, she does chooses to put her energy into her sober resources instead.

Sarah’s best sober moment: experiencing the Northern Lights with her son

Sarah’s parting piece of guidance: never quit quitting.

[41:14] Outro:

Paul invites listeners to answer some questions not with words in their minds, but in how they carry themselves.

How would you walk if…….?

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RE 486: The Most Dangerous Thing on the Planet

by Kris Oyen | Jun 10, 2024 | Podcast

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Episode 486 – The Most Dangerous Thing on the Planet

Today we have Adam. He is 46 from Flowermound, TX and took his last drink on December 31^st, 2022.

Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9^th-20^th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1^st. We have room for 25 passengers to this southeast Asia destination. We have AF workshops, a home stay and a service project planned, plus you’ll be traveling with others who have already ditched the booze.

Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator – 10% off your first month. #sponsored

[03:00] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares many things that are dangerous but concludes that the most dangerous thing on the planet is the Ego. The reason why it is so dangerous is because it is never fully satisfied, it’s always hungry, lives in constant state of lack and is always seeking more, more, more.

Alcohol is but a symptom of the most dangerous thing on the planet. Addiction gets a bad rap, but it does serve a purpose. It forces you to split from the thinking mind. As the author of The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer says you are the one hearing or witnessing the thoughts, but you are not your thoughts.

Some of the humblest people Paul has met have been people in recovery. The addiction is the equalizer and forces us to seek a better way no longer guided by the blind pursuit of the ego.

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[10:22] Kris introduces Adam:

Adam is a registered nurse, married to his wife for 23 years and they have two children. He loves hiking, camping and walking and enjoys tabletop gaming and the creativity and childlike innocence that it has awoken.

Alcohol was not very present in Adam’s childhood household. When he was 15, he had a bad experience with hamburgers and cheap alcohol that kept him away for a while. Typical teenage experimentation was there, but not much booze in his high school years.

Becoming a young adult found Adam at college and going to a lot of parties. The heavier partying led to Adam beginning to have blackouts and hangovers. He ended up going to the Appalachian Mountains for some mission work and to get away from his dissonance around substance use. He says it still followed him there and eventually he had to go back home.

Adam says drinking was part of he and his wife’s early dating period. After getting married and having kids, Adam was working 45 minutes from home and found himself drinking on the way home from work and the drinking was becoming daily. He knew it didn’t feel right but continued to do it. Deciding to start nursing school after the birth of their second child was very stressful and Adam’s drinking eventually found him seeking to stop but with short stints of sobriety, he would go back and feel stuck. This continued for Adam for a while and started to affect his relationships.

Adam feels he finally had a time where it just clicked for him. He had joined Café RE and then joined the Restore course and he was able to organize some tools and awareness around his drinking. He knew he had work to do but he was willing to work on it finally. He currently has a great support network and close friends that he is doing the work with. Adam feels that a lot of things about him have changed and every day he sees joy.

Adam’s biggest fear around quitting drinking: the fear of not having fun

Adam’s plan moving forward: staying connected and immersed

Adam’s parting piece of guidance for people thinking about quitting drinking: it makes the world colorful again and life will move in the direction it’s supposed to move.

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RE 485: The Social Cost of Alcohol

by Kris Oyen | Jun 3, 2024 | Podcast

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Episode 485 – The Social Cost of Alcohol

Today we have Jennifer. She is 41 from Hamilton, OT Canada and took her last drink on January 18^th, 2024.

Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9^th-20^th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1^st.

Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator – 10% off your first month. #sponsored

[02:09] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares some information from an article he saw on the Instagram page recoveryroadmap.me. It discusses how in Canada, despite bringing in $13 billion in tax revenue, the net social costs in 2020 was $19 billion. And it is even worse in the US.

The bright side of all of this is that we are becoming aware of this major deficit, and change is taking place. The demand for alcohol is lowering as people are becoming more aware that alcohol is not good for you. Two years ago, The Huberman Lab did a podcast called What Alcohol Does to Your Body and he debunked the myth that alcohol is good for you.

Paul also shares that thanks to an initiative called Sounds Right, musicians who use natural sounds can list “Nature” as a featured artist and royalties from the tracks will go toward environmental causes.

Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20

[08:33] Paul introduces Jennifer:

Jennifer is married and they have a daughter and a standard poodle. She works for the family business and for fun she plays paintball, tennis and volleyball – anything active with friends.

Jennifer says that as the “good girl” growing up, she always wanted to be bad and says that drinking fit in with that. During the week she was excelling in school, but on the weekends, she went to raves with friends and started smoking weed. She enjoyed the duality of her life and the same pattern continued at university.

While in her first year of college, her father bought back his company with a ten-year plan of Jennifer becoming the CEO. The stress and responsibility of this and her parents divorce a few years later all found her drinking escalating. Some of her friends told Jennifer’s mom about her drinking and staged a small intervention to which Jennifer was not receptive. She assured everyone she was ok, but then just began to isolate when she drank.

After the plan found her becoming the CEO, her drinking went from nights and weekends to drinking all day just to cope. She recognized that this was a problem but was scared to mention it to anyone. This is when she first joined Café RE, started listening to podcasts and trying to learn more about the disease. Jennifer tried a lot of moderation methods but was never successful until she got pregnant with her daughter at 35. She was able to quit drinking while pregnant and a few months after having the baby.

After returning to work, Jennifer says her drinking started right where she left off. She says she was beginning to have disturbing thoughts and finally concluded that she needed help. Not being able to come up with a good way to quit without anyone knowing, she decided to confide in her cousin who she knew would understand.

In January of 2024 at a dinner with her cousin, mom and husband, Jennifer was able to burn the ships, and everyone was very supportive. Upon going to treatment shortly after, Jennifer says she took her recovery very seriously and wanted to make it worth her time.

Journaling and practicing mindfulness are big parts of Jennifer’s recovery, she takes time to be present with her daughter and her life, attends meetings and counseling regularly and says stacking habits are important to her growth. Nurturing the sober version of herself has been great for her. Jennifer can see a future now

Jennifer’s best sober moment: Walking my daughter to school and being present.

Jennnifer’s parting piece of guidance: Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.

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