by Paul Churchill | Apr 1, 2019 | Podcast
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Ashley, with 192 days of sobriety, shares her story.
Paul talks about how alcohol is the invitation. What is this invitation? It’s called addiction. Depending on how you RSVP you could have a life filled with infinite joy. The fact that you are listening to this podcast right now is a good clue as to how you’re going to RSVP. At first the invitations may not show up with enough frequency to connect the dots. But, sooner or later, these invitations will start to show up more frequently, once a year, once every 6 months, once a week, once a day in every aspect of our lives. For many that struggle with addiction they ignore this invitation their entire lives and it is not pretty. If we stick to this long enough it will become clear that our addiction is the best thing that has happened for us.
For those of you listening, you have earned your invitation. Keep in mind the pain and suffering required to initiate this positive change in behind you. This thing called life, if it hasn’t already, is about to get good. So how will you RSVP to this invitation?
SHOW NOTES
[12:30] Paul Introduces Ashley.
Ashley lives in Chicago, IL with her sister and their 2 dogs. She is single and is 31 years old. She recently finished cosmetology school and is currently an apprentice to become a hair stylist at a salon in the city. For fun Ashley likes to cook, enjoys music and going to concerts, power lifting, meditation, and is back playing soccer.
[14:30] Give us a little background about your drinking.
She was 13/14 years old the first time she got drunk, in her neighbors’ basement. She remembers going home and telling her mom that she had been drinking, and that she got sick. During high school she hung out with a lot of different crowds so went to, and drank at, a lot of parties. She says she knew right away that she had a problem. From the moment she would start drinking she would fixate on how she could drink more.
When she got into college, she hit the ground running with partying. She did a lot of partying and blacking out, had a lot of fun and didn’t get into any sever trouble, which she says, she thinks is why she continued to drink like she did. In the back of her mind she was telling herself that once she was done with college things would change and she would grow up.
After college she moved to Chicago and continued to drink on the weekends (Thursday-Sunday), which felt normal to her. When she was 25, she woke up one morning, grabbed her phone, and Googled “what is an alcoholic?”.
At 27, after a relationship that ended badly, she found herself in a super dark place. She was depressed, having panic attacks, eating disorder flair ups, drinking, and drugging. She managed to pull herself out of that dark place, and to prove to herself that she didn’t have a problem she didn’t drink for 30 days.
[22:15] What was it like when you did prove it to yourself and not drink for 30 days?
She felt she had it under control, although she continued to do drugs. Then she slowly started drinking again until she was drinking more than she was before the 30 days. She started blacking out every time she drank.
After a really bad incident with her ex she walked into AA. She made it 65 days before she went back out for another year and ½. That year and ½ it got even worse, she was drinking hard and using a lot of drugs.
On July 23, 2018 she came clean with her doctor and walked back into AA where she found an amazing group of women and her home group.
[28:37] Comment a little more about honesty.
Because of her issues with depression and anxiety her whole life she had been in/out of going to therapists. She said she always lied to them about her alcohol/drug use. After also being diagnosed bi-polar she knew she had to come clean with her doctors.
[32:15] Why do you think you drank?
She said that to begin with, alcoholism runs in her family. She wanted to escape from the feeling of having to micromanage her up/down feelings all the time and that unfortunately she thinks she was just made for it.
[36:00] How did you do it? You talked about AA, what else did you do to get sober?
She stopped going to the places where she always drank, like concerts and bars. She sought out a higher power. She started running. She made sure she got to her AA meetings and listened to the podcast, of course.
[38:00] Tell us how you got through your week-long family reunion during the early days of your sobriety.
With about a week of sobriety she tried to look at the trip as a way to take advantage of the beautiful nature, instead of a big party. She listened to podcasts and hiked. With only a week of sobriety she wasn’t comfortable telling her family yet, and she was terrified of failing if she did.
[42:15] After burning the ships on FB you mentioned you got reactions you didn’t expect, what kind of reactions did you expect??
She thought that people really wouldn’t care, or that they would think that it would change who she is. She didn’t expect all the positive response.
[43:30] Talk to us about some wins in sobriety.
She can fly with out hitting the airport bar first. She can go to concerts and remember everything. She can go out with friends and have fun without drinking.
[44:50] What is something you learned about yourself during this journey?
She is super sensitive and can feel others emotions which used to be scary, but now that she is sober, she has learned how to use it to help other people.
[46:38] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your absolute worst memory from drinking?
My mom had surgery one time and we were in the recovery room and I was so hungover, and probably still drunk, from the night before that I threw up all over the hospital room.
- What was your ‘oh-shit’ moment, indicating that alcohol had to go?
The morning I woke up and just knew I couldn’t keep doing this.
- What is your plan in sobriety moving forward?
To keep building a network. Keep working the steps and stay in AA. To keep on doing what I’m doing, one day at a time.
- In regards to sobriety what’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
To take everything one day at a time.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Avoid things that are triggering to you and strive to do things that are healthy and look for self-care.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You constantly find yourself keeping tabs on other peoples’ drinking.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Mar 25, 2019 | Podcast
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Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
On today’s podcast we’ve got Dr. Sue Morter, and she’s going to talk to us about how our bodies and minds have the capacity to heal themselves if we allow it.
Registration is now live for the Recovery Elevator retreat in Bozeman, Montana this upcoming August. You can find more information about this event here
Paul discusses addiction and how there are hundreds of definitions for what addiction is. He has covered several of them on this podcast already, and covers many more in the book that he is currently writing. Some definitions are scientific. Some are psychological. Some explain the disease theory.
He brings up another definition that, in his opinion, may be the simplest and most accurate. Paul suggests that addiction(s) are nothing more than signposts in life. Addictions are nudges from the body, your internal and external environments, that signify that a change needs to occur.
Many people struggling with addiction ignore these internal and external cues their entire lives, and this gets ugly. There are signposts everywhere in life. Paul’s advice? Get out of the way and let life happen.
The content that Dr. Sue Morter writes about in her book, The Energy Codes, which was released about a week ago, is profound. (You can find the link here .) She explains through quantum science how we can use our own energies to heal ourselves if we let it happen. Be prepared to have your mind blown.
SHOW NOTES
[7:44] Paul Introduces Dr. Sue.
Dr. Sue is an international speaker, master of bioenergetic medicine, and a quantum field visionary. She explains how quantum science and spirituality are speaking the same language. Dr. Sue redirects the flow of energy patterns in the body to activate full human potential. Through her presentations, seminars, retreats, which Paul attended one this past February in Colorado, and her book The Energy Codes, Dr. Sue illuminates the relationship of quantum science and energy medicine, as well as the elevation of human consciousness and life mastery. In the book The Energy Codes, and at her retreats and conferences, she teaches individuals how to clear subconscious memory blockages.
[9:45] What is addiction? What causes it, and can it be overcome Dr. Sue?
Dr. Sue is about the flow of energy in the body. If the energy is flowing in the body then the body is healing itself. What happens with addiction is that there are sets of circuits that are supposed to be connecting our enteric system, meaning our digestive, hormonal, and chemical balance system, with our heart, with our mind. We’re supposed to be one big communication system, everything having a check and balance on everything else.
What happens is we have a tendency to kind of land and splat when we get here. We land in this life and our mind goes one way, our body goes another way, and our breath goes another way, and we’re kind of not operating on all of our cylinders because of that.
Addiction happens when we bypass certain aspects of our own personal power, and we reach outwardly for some kind of reassurance, whether it’s an addiction to an emotion, an addiction to needing to know the future, or to control things, an addiction then later turns into chemical addiction, substance abuse, those kinds of things.
[13:08] What do you feel about addictions, and can we overcome them?
She says we can absolutely overcome them. In fact, she feels that they are in place to reveal to us where we are here to evolve. We come into this life for a reason, and the addiction itself shows up in a certain pattern. Dr. Sue says it’s an avenue to our wholeness, not a problem. It’s just a very intense solution.
[14:37] Earlier I talked about addiction being a signpost, almost an invitation of where to go next in life, and that many of us miss this. Can you comment on that a little bit?
We miss the lamp post, the light house, because we’re so consumed in guilt, and shame, and fear because we start to observe our addictive patterns, and we start to try to outrun them even faster because we are afraid that something is inherently wrong. That whole sensation is generated because the mind is not connected to the rest of who we are.
When we do see the light post, the sign post, everything shifts. When we don’t see it it’s because we haven’t created enough of a vibrational frequency to get the mind’s attention yet.
[17:16] Talk to us about how disconnection can lead to addiction.
When we land and we splat, we come up from the splat attached to the mind. We are attached to the mind. It’s important to realize that we are not the mind. We have a mind, but we are so infused and inter-meshed with it that we think it’s who we are. Bear in mind that the mind is based in duality, and the mind’s job is to separate things, to see the differences, to make distinctions. If we’re attached to the mind, we inherently feel different and distinct from other things. When we’re attached to the heart, or to the soul, or to the truth of who we are, our true essential selves, we are connected, vibrationally speaking, to nature, and to everyone else, and to all that exists.
When we are disconnected to our heart, and our deep wisdom, we don’t experience ourselves as wise, loving, brilliant, smart, and enough to meet the bill. What happens instead is we divert, we deflect, and the energy moves around this area. The next thing you know we’re looking for an imitation. We’re looking for some other sense of self that gets hidden in our activities, or our substances.
[21:40] Talk to us about the trap door.
This energy that’s rising up through the body that either does or does not pass through our own personal identity on its way through to love, and to manifesting the life that we would choose to have, it’s rising up through the primitive brain and it hits a trap door that’s either open or closed. That trap door is closed if we’ve experienced too many things in our past that we couldn’t really resolve.
[25:00] What advice, or what do you have to say to people who, the first month of sobriety, first six months of sobriety, they feel these uncomfortable emotions? (PAWS) Do they run away from them? Do they go towards them? What are these emotions, and what do you recommend they do when they experience them?
It’s not that the body generates those emotions when you stop drinking. Those emotions were always there. You just couldn’t sense them or perceive them, because you were either running from them, or you were numbing them out. They are your power. Your power is inside of those emotions that currently might feel a little intense, or a lot intense. And we can learn how to grab ahold of those energies and get them back into the flow, breathe them into the flow that’s trying to happen in our system that keeps us connected.
[29:10] If we feel a meltdown coming do we squash it? What do we do? What are they?
Dr. Sue 100% suggests that we lean into it. The body is trying to get us to implode back into the soul. Just by allowing ourselves to sit in presence with what is rising is a victory beyond what we were able to do before.
[35:48] Can you talk a little bit about how everything that happens, even on a day to day basis, is there for our advantage?
All of it is ultimately serving you. You are made of the entire cosmos, and you are packed into a body. And more of it is arriving every second, and it’s 100% in support of your awakening to this truth, to your greatness, to your magnificence. Everything that happens in your life is guiding you, and steering you toward a great shakedown that will make you let go of being attached to the mind and this idea that you’re a separate self, and accept, and receive, and perceive this amazing support that is constantly here supporting you toward you realizing a different version of life altogether.
[38:50] You did an incredible job of explaining how science, quantum physics, is blending with spirituality, with a higher power. Talk more about this.
What’s happening is science and spirituality are kind of meeting on the same page and recognizing that there is a great unifying presence, and each of us has the opportunity to allow that to guide us in particular ways.
[42:06] Dr. Sue walks listeners through exercises so they can build circuits and create new connections, inside the body, on their own.
[55:13] Listeners, Dr. Sue’s book The Energy Codes was just released about a week ago and you can find it here.
She also has incredible retreats, taking people to sacred sites all over the world, along with teaching all kinds of coursework across the country. For more information you can go to DrSueMorter.com
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Mar 18, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Mina, with a sobriety date of May 30, 2017, shares his story.
You can sign up for a FREE 5-day Recovery Elevator video course here.
Paul discusses the most controversial word he has encountered in AA. The word is recovered, as in your addiction to alcohol is behind you. Although recovered is mentioned in the books of AA, after Paul said the word in an AA meeting, he noticed a shift in the energy in the room. Ty (who has been editing the podcasts for over 150 episodes straight…Thank you Ty!), found the word recovered mentioned over 20 times in The Big Book and the Twelve and Twelve.
So why is the word recovered so controversial? Is recovered even such a thing?
SHOW NOTES
[10:30] Paul Introduces Mina.
Mina with a sobriety date of May 30, 2017, is 37 years old and is from Stockholm, Sweden. He is single and has no children. He is a software engineer. For fun Mina likes to read, visit museums and exhibitions, and spend time in libraries.
[12:20] Give us a little background about your drinking.
Mina had his first real drink at the age of 17, it was his first high school party and the first time he blacked out. From 17 to 25 he was drinking hard. He was drinking on his own, drinking Friday to Monday. During those years he didn’t really mix drinks, he would have a couple beers and go straight to vodka or tequila. After a couple years it was just bottles of vodka or tequila, and he was drinking alone. After a humiliating experience in 2003 he tried to regulate his drinking for the next 3 years, which did not go well.
In 2007 he decided to move back to South Africa, where his parents were living. Before leaving his friends threw him a going away party, which ended with Mina waking up in a hospital emergency room and not knowing how he got there. For the first time he realized he had a drinking problem. The next 11 years he says he was a textbook dry drunk.
On May 29, 2017 Mina had his last drink. The following day he walked into an AA meeting, was done fighting, and introduced himself as an alcoholic.
[28:22] How did it feel when you said you were an alcoholic?
The word itself wasn’t that difficult. But saying it in front of a group of people, who then clapped, gave him a sense of relief and he started crying.
[32:45] You mentioned that you had the shakes for two weeks after your last day of drinking, what is your take on that?
He says he doesn’t even remember those first two weeks. He knows he called his AA sponsor a couple times, he took a couple days off work, and that he was doing things to take care of himself.
[35:20] What kept you going during those first two miserable weeks?
He knew he was going to die if he drank again.
[36:30] What are some of the lessons you learned in the first 30 to 60 days?
In the first 30 days he had to learn how to be honest about everything. In the first 60 days he had to learn how to trust other people. Both of these were incredibly hard to do.
[39:48] Share with me how important it is to bring other people on in your recovery.
Mina started telling his closest friends during the time he started to do his amends (AA step 9). Most of his friends were in shock because he was so good a lying that they had no idea he had a drinking problem. The friendships became closer after he told them.
[41:30] Why do you think you drank?
There are several reasons. He drank to feel normal and it helped him to socialize. When he drank alone drinking was the elixir for everything that was wrong. He drank because he wanted to die.
[43:50] Is there anything you would have done differently when getting sober?
Mina says he would have listened to his sponsor regarding dating.
[46:00] Rapid Fire Round
- What is your plan in sobriety moving forward?
More spirituality, more service, and working on myself in terms of projects I never did because I was drunk.
- What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?
The practice of meditation I one. Music is another resource. The third resource is to really work on some deeper issues.
- In regards to sobriety, what is the best advice you’ve ever received?
Do you want to be right, or do you want to be at peace?
- What parting piece of guidance do you want to give to listeners?
Choose yourself today.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You wake up in your own piss and shit after a hard night drinking.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Blinkist
This episode is brought to you in support by Blinkist. Right now, my listeners can try Blinkist for free. Visit blinkist.com/elevator for your seven-day free trial.
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Mar 11, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Tricia, with a sobriety date of November 14, 2016, shares her story.
Sometimes we reach a moment in our journey where we say, “what’s next?”. Paul discusses what he would recommend when you reach this moment. Do not go ‘seeking’, that reinforces a mind state that we are lacking something. Instead, listen to the body. The body is going to tell you where to go next.
SHOW NOTES
[7:30] Paul Introduces Tricia.
Tricia with a sobriety date of November 14, 2016, is 37 years old and lives in Dallas, TX. Tricia is a chef by trade, a business owner, and has a few side hustles. She is divorced and does not have kids, but has a ‘manfriend’. For fun Tricia likes to do crafts and puzzles, and enjoys live music.
[8:40] Give us a little background about your drinking.
Tricia grew up around alcoholism and addiction. She had her first drink at 16 years old, getting drunk at a party to get back at a boy who had hurt her. She says she always drank to get drunk. Blackouts started in her early twenties and she started to try to moderate by her mid-twenties. Tricia was always a high achiever and she soon became a high achieving, high functioning, alcoholic. The hard part was coming to terms with the fact that she had a problem when she was sure everything looked fine from the outside.
[15:10] Did you have a rock bottom moment, or was it an accumulation of many moments?
Her drinking took a turn for the worse when she got divorced at the age of 34. She was blacking out every time she drank, waking up with injuries and didn’t know where they came from. Tricia says at a certain point you can no longer negotiate with alcohol. After a 3-day physical detox she decided to keep the dry spell going.
[20:22] Why do you think it’s so hard to quit drinking?
We love to get in our own way. Alcohol is highly addictive. Our egos get in the way.
[26:16] What got you from the beginning of your sobriety to where you are now?
First and foremost, she had an open mind. Tricia stopped doing what she wanted to do and started doing what other people told her she should do…and she tried everything. She started attending AA regularly. She was open and honest, and she started doing the things that were uncomfortable.
[30:20] Is RECOVERED a thing?
She says it depends. In Tricia’s opinion, alcoholism isn’t about the alcohol it is about the stuff you are drinking over. She says you (she) can be recovered from the alcoholism while at the same time not be recovered from the stuff you (she) drank over.
[34:00] With 2 years and 3 months, what are you working on in your recovery now?
She says she’s in some transition right now. Being patient with the things that are out of her control is something she is working on, on a personal level. She is also trying to bring more sober events to the forefront, such as the Sober by Southwest event she is bringing to Austin, TX on March 16th.
[40:00] Paul and Tricia talk about the RE events and her podcast, Recovery Happy Hour.
[46:00] What are some themes you are seeing in your podcasts?
Grey area drinking is a big one. People are over the label ‘alcoholic’. Sober dating is another one.
[53:00] Paul and Tricia talk about how things have changed since the beginning of their sobriety to now.
[56:20] Rapid Fire Round
- What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners?
You do not need to be an alcoholic to decide to change your relationship with alcohol.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You wake up and you plan your entire day around accommodating your drinking or your hangover.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Robinhood
This episode is brought to you in support by Robinhood. Right now, Robinhood is giving my listeners free stock such as Apple, Ford or Sprint to help build your portfolio. Signup at
elevator.robinhood.comConnect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside.”
by Paul Churchill | Mar 4, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Steven, with a sobriety date of August 7, 2016, shares his story.
Registration for the Bozeman, Montana Retreat opened up this past Friday. Space is limited for this retreat. You can find more information about events here
Internet memes…a picture, coupled with a few short words, can spread powerful messages. Paul describes one he saw the other day. It was an old school telephone with the words, “when the phone was attached with a wire humans were free”. Paul encourages listeners to put their phone down for a couple of hours each day.
Paul talks about courage. Courage is being OK with not knowing what is happening next. We don’t know what’s going to happen when we quit drinking. This can be frightening. In recovery we don’t need to be at level 10 courageousness at all times. Paul’s advice is to listen to your body, it will tell you when it’s time to be courageous or time to go a little slower.
SHOW NOTES
[7:36] Paul Introduces Steven.
Steven, with a sobriety date of August 7, 2016, is 30 years old and is from Bakersfield, CA. He works for a utility company. He has a beautiful girlfriend. Steven has always enjoyed outdoor activities and since being sober he has added reading and meditation to his list of things he enjoys.
[10:00] Give us a little background about your drinking.
Steven had his first few beers at the age of 13, but didn’t start drinking heavily until his senior year of high school when he started binge drinking on the weekends. That mind-altering feeling, that that first drink at the age of 13 gave him, filled a void that he always felt he had. Steven was kicked out at 18 and got his first DUI/wreck at 19. He continued to drink and 8 yrs. later he got his 2nd DUI with a BAC of .29. This 2nd DUI was an eye opener for Steven, and walking out of jail after it he decided to take a break from alcohol…that was August 7, 2016.
[18:30] What would you say to listeners that are trying to “think their way” through sobriety?
He would tell them it’s not going to happen.
[21:22] Walk us through what happened when you walked out of jail on August 7, 2016.
The first few weeks were tough. Nobody knew about his 2nd DUI because he was too embarrassed to tell anyone. For a few months he went into hibernation mode, only going from home, to work, and back home. He met, and started dating a girl at about the 4th month mark and that lasted until he had a year of sobriety. That breakup did not go well and he started obsessing about drinking again. He went as far as pouring himself a glass of Jack Daniels, but because he had a healthy fear of alcohol, he played the tape forward and called a sober friend instead of drinking it. The next night he went to his first AA meeting and has continued to go ever since.
[26:10] Talk to us about your experience with AA.
Because Steven’s mom was in NA he knew that there was something out there that could help. He didn’t know what to expect when he walked into his first meeting, but he knew he needed some help staying sober. When he left that first meeting he wasn’t sure if he would go back. A man at the meeting followed Steven outside to talk to him and invited him to a meeting the following night. That man became Steven’s sponsor. He had a willingness and felt hope in the rooms of AA.
[35:54] Are you open about the fact that you are in recovery?
At first he wasn’t, he was still worried about being judged. After 6 months of AA he realized that he shouldn’t be ashamed of this part of his life. He is now very open about it and feels that that helps him. He also hopes that by being open about it he will be able to help others.
[38:20] What is on your bucket list in sobriety?
He just wants to live the best life he can live. He wants to get out there and travel the world and be able to remember it.
[40:30] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking?
Waking up out of a blackout after I wrapped my truck around a power pole, took out a tree, a no parking sign, and went through a brick wall.
- Apart from AA what are some other resources you can recommend?
The book This Naked Mind, the Recovery Elevator podcast and other podcasts.
- In regards to sobriety what is the best advice you have ever received?
A lady once told me, “everything is going to be OK and you never have to drink again if you don’t want to,” and that just burned in my brain.
- What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?
Get honest with yourself and give yourself a chance to be that person that has been locked up inside of you all this time.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You wake up 2 hours from your hometown, at a train station, you don’t have the slightest clue how you got there, with a massive headache, a massive hangover, and without a shirt.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside.”
by Paul Churchill | Feb 25, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Juan, with a sobriety date of May 29, 2018, shares his story.
Congratulations to Kirk S. in Florida for hitting 1 year of sobriety.
This Friday, March 1st, registration for the Recovery Elevator Retreat in Bozeman goes live. Space is limited for this retreat. You can find more information about events here
After the interview with Juan, Paul will discuss detoxing from alcohol and how dangerous it can be.
Paul talks about cravings. What they are, what they represent, and what to do when we experience them. Also, are all cravings the same? In simple form, a craving is a desire to regulate our inner state with an external substance or behavior.
SHOW NOTES
[9:25] Paul Introduces Bill.
Juan, with a sobriety date of May 29, 2018, is 32 years old and is from Los Angeles, CA. He is a personal assistant, and single. For fun Juan likes to play music (he is in a band), go to the movies, hike, workout.
[10:25] Give us a little background about your drinking.
Juan started drinking at the age of 19 to ‘fit in’. He had recently come out as a gay man and drinking helped him feel more confident and comfortable in his own skin. Touring with his band all over the country and world, drinking was the way he got rid of his performance anxiety. Around age 25 things started to get messy. Towards the end of his drinking his anxiety was through the roof.
[13:25] Tell us more about your anxiety.
At first drinking would calm his anxiety, but once he ‘went over the threshold’ he would start to get paranoid. The worst part was the fear he would have when waking up in the morning. His self-esteem was at an all time low. In May of 2017 Juan hit this internal rock bottom, got into a horrible physical altercation with a friend and knew something had to change.
[18:35] Walk us through what happened after May 27, 2107.
He went through a ‘dry drunk’ stage. He just stopped drinking, started avoiding going out, avoiding certain people and situations. It wasn’t easy and he was not feeling the benefits right away. He felt like he was on a diet and depriving himself. He did this for about 4 months and then felt like his relationship with alcohol had changed, and he decided to drink again. By his birthday in February his drinking was back to where it was when he quit.
[22:15] Continue from where you are back to drinking and your anxiety is back.
On May 28, 2018 he decided to try sobriety again. This time he would do it differently. He started to read books and watch movies about alcoholism. After about a month and a half, and at a friend’s suggestion, he went to his first AA meeting. Although he was nervous and uncomfortable, he immediately felt like he found what he needed. He got a sponsor and attends about 4 meetings a week.
[25:20] Tell us about your first AA meeting.
His first meeting was very small and intimate. It was a lot to take in and he left thinking he would go back, but still feeling confused. He continued going once a week for a while, ducking in and out, until it felt more comfortable.
[26:40] What advice do have for someone that is saying there is no way they could go to AA?
If you are open and ready AA can work for you.
[29:10] Walk us through a typical day in your recovery.
Juan wakes up earlier, prays, makes a gratitude list, goes to work, 4 evenings a week he catches an AA meeting. Everyday in sobriety is different but he tries to something of service for someone every day. He always tries to keep connection with someone throughout the day.
[31:40] What has been the biggest hurdle you have had to overcome in the past 7 ½ months?
It has been in just that last few weeks, he is transitioning out of his job that he has had the 9 years. It’s the first time in 9 years he is unsure about where he will be working. Although it is a scary time for Juan, he feels a lot calmer than he thought he would and is taking it one day at a time. He doesn’t think he would’ve been able to handle this situation before sobriety.
[35:05] What was harder, coming out of the closet as a gay man, or coming out of the closet as an alcoholic?
Definitely coming out of the closet as an alcoholic.
[37:15] What is it like playing music and being on stage in sobriety?
At first it was difficult because of stage fright. But now being nervous and being in the moment is a good thing.
[40:08] What have you learned about yourself in this journey?
He is more confident and enjoys people more.
[41:15] Rapid Fire Round
- What is your favorite guitar rift to play?
The intro rift in Smashing Pumpkin’s – Today
- What was your worst memory from drinking?
The fight he got into with his friend.
- Did you have an ‘oh-shit’ moment?
Coming home with friends in an Uber and feeling so alone and desperate.
- What is your plane moving forward?
Continuing with his step work, finding new sober friends and hopefully finding a whole new career.
- What is your favorite resource in recovery?
AA is the go-to for me.
- Regarding sobriety, what is the best advice you have ever received?
Letting go of control.
- What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?
Contrary action, doing what you don’t want to do.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
Your bandmates on tour lock you in a basement because you are that out of control and everyone is scared of you.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
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Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside.”
