by Kerri MacFarlane | Oct 16, 2020 | Blog, Early Sobriety, Helpful Tips, The first Year
In the year 1519, Hernán Cortés, a Spanish conquistador, arrived in the New World with six hundred men and, upon arrival, ordered his men to, ‘burn the ships’. ?⛵️ His logic behind this wasn’t to go down in the history books as the conquistador loco that ordered his men to destroy his ships. Nope. It was to send a message to his men, a loud and clear message…
…there is no turning back…his men would have to conquer, or die.
Two years later, in 1521, Hernán Cortés conquered the Aztec empire. HIs ‘burn the ships’ strategy worked! Although, guys! His men didn’t even really burn the ships, they sunk them! ?? And that fun fact, my friends, wraps up our history lesson.
But there is a life lesson in this story that I do want to talk about. The story about Hernán Cortés, in its simplest form, is really just about commitment.
Retreat is easy when you let yourself have the option.
On February 15th, 2019, while attending my very first Recovery Elevator event, Nashville LIVE…I hit 100 days sober. I can remember how excited I was when I did the math and realized I would be there on that day. But I was also terrified! Flying across the country, alone, to go meet members from my online recovery community, that I only knew from Facebook…was stepping way outside of my comfort zone. It was scary, I was so nervous I almost canceled the trip. Strangers scared me. People scared me.
At that point in my sobriety, counting days was very important to me. There were days, even weeks, in the beginning, when counting those days was all I could focus on. But that got me to day 100. The first day 100 in many, many years.
Knowing myself, and finally being honest with myself, I knew that I would have to do something more than count days and read quit lit if I was going to make it another 100 days. I needed more accountability and I was going to have to get uncomfortable. So I bought that plane ticket to Nashville. And I secretly made plans to publicly share my milestone of 100 days sober on social media.
It’s not just a coincidence that my 100th day fell 100 days after my (last?) rock bottom moment. I’m not going to go into anymore of my story right now, if you’re curious you can listen to my interview – Recovery Elevator Episode 255.
When it came time to press “Post” I was a mess of sweaty, shakey, nerves. Even admitting to the people that knew, from personal experience, of my drinking problem was hard. I was embarrassed, filled with shame and guilt. My anxiety was still at an all time high, almost paralyzing at times.
There is this stigma associated with addiction, and too often it keeps people from admitting they have a problem or from seeking help. The word ‘alcoholic’ brings up images of a person living under a bridge, drinking from a brown paper bag.
I often felt damaged, defective, less than. I knew that in order for me to move forward in life, to break the cycle I had been on, that I would have to do something drastic.
This public post on Facebook was my ‘drastic’. ??
I have never regretted posting it. As I started getting the notifications from comments and likes I was afraid to go read them. When I finally did I wanted to cry. Happy tears. ? Grateful tears. I was overwhelmed and speechless by all the positive, encouraging, supportive and ‘I can relate’ messages that I got. I was shown nothing but love.
This single scary ‘burn the ships’ post 100 days in busted down the door and has made it easy for me to continue to share my journey. Using my story and my voice helps keep me in check, and it helps others know that they are not alone.
Fast forward to today…In the few days before sitting down to get these words out I was doing a lot of thinking about my 100 day post, trying to remember the way I was feeling, what emotions I was experiencing. What quickly came to mind was how scared I was. Putting yourself out there like this, being vulnerable like this, is scary. And once it’s out there…once that ship has been burned…it can’t be unburned! But that’s the point, right? I knew I had no other choice, I had to take action. If I didn’t, nothing would change. Even though I really wanted to get sober and live a life without alcohol, I was too scared to leave the comfortable and familiar. Burning the ships gave me the courage, strength, and the push, to step into a new life.
Have you burned your ships? Or do you always give yourself a way out?
It doesn’t have to be a public blast on social media like I did. That was a level 5 on the Burnometer! ?
There are different levels of burning the ships. Start with level 1, work your way up! They all will help establish another layer of accountability for you.
Level 1: Someone you don’t know well. This could be a store clerk, a barista, a friend from book club, but not a stranger.
Level 2: Someone you consider a friend, or who you have regular monthly interaction with. This is an acquaintance from the gym, a neighbor, restaurant employee.
Level 3: This is someone you interact with on a weekly basis. Co-worker, good friend, running partner, or hiking friend.
Level 4: Meeting with a close group of friends, family, spouse, in person conversation. Immediate family.
Level 5: FB Live, Podcast, Social media post, family meeting, airplane with banner in the sky.
I challenge you to pick a level above, find someone that fits the description…and burn baby burn. ?
Please come back and share your experience with me!
Until next time, be well.
KMac ??
by Kris Oyen | Oct 5, 2020 | Podcast
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Erin took her last drink May 31, 2019. With 488 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You…..
Most long-term decisions have to be rooted in a place of love and not of fear. This applies to recovery and leads to the question, “What has recovery made possible for you?” This question helps to build the bridge from fear to love. Hearing stories of hope from others send out waves of survival. As you share your story, you don’t know who’s listening and how that might change the trajectory of their life. Odette chooses to live in the solution and show others, specifically her family, what’s possible.
[6:23] Odette introduces Erin.
Erin and her family split time between New Hampshire and Sedona, AZ. She is married with 2 children, ages 1 & 3, she is a stay at home mom. For fun she does yoga, plays with her children, exercises and is getting to know her body.
[9:35] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Erin said she first took a drink when she was 14. While that drink wasn’t a problem, she began to experiment. The family setting was one where there was drinking and so it was part of what she knew growing up. Her parents separated when she was 17 and she rebelled from there. At 18, she went to the University of New Hampshire, which is a large party school. Drinking was part of the culture and it was just what everyone was doing. Erin can look back now and see how toxic it was, especially for her.
[12:03] Can you expand on your college years?
Her sophomore year, she tried sobriety. She took some time off college and did a “major health cleanse”. However, when she returned, the habits also returned. She convinced herself she could moderate.
[13:14] Did you transition after college into a lifestyle that allowed you to maintain a frequency of binge drinking?
Erin said she has lived all over the place and those geographic moves are part of her story with alcohol. With periods of binge drinking and sadness coupled with periods of living with a healthy focus. Looking back, she can see she was running from her feelings and not being able to be with herself.
[15:33] What was your style of drinking and did anyone ever approach you about it while you were drinking?
Erin said she did surround herself with heavy drinkers so she could ignore the reality, there were also consequences to her drinking. She married her first husband in 2010 and they were divorced in 2012. He would speak to her about her drinking. When they separated, she took herself to her first AA meeting. However, a relapse of Lyme disease and the toll the separation was taking on her, she continued to drink daily.
Erin moved with her mother to Sedona, AZ and jumped into the AA community. She would wake up, go to a meeting, go to work at a health center and then come home and get drunk. This was when she saw that alcohol was turning her into 2 completely separate people.
[21:00] Tell me about your pregnancy and the last few years.
Erin said she got pregnant in 2016 and was able to stay sober through her pregnancy. She felt the highs and lows of pregnancy very severely and not having alcohol to help her numb was part of that. When her daughter was around 3 or 4 months, she convinced herself again she could moderate. She got pregnant with her son and again stayed sober throughout, but the pattern started again in the 4th trimester. In May 2019, she woke up violently ill and that was it.
[27:08] Tell me what you do now when you have one of these tough emotions.
Erin said she is getting to know herself again as a highly sensitive person (HSP). She taps into a lot of the digital community and is exploring the psychologic makeup of being an empath. She’s learning to lean in and explore the power of breath.
[29:40] Did you go back to AA?
Erin said she hasn’t gone back to AA yet (busy raising the future!) but has found there are so many options out there for her online.
[32:02] How has the response been from people?
Erin said overall the response has been supportive. Those closest to her knew she had a problem. Her husband has also stopped drinking in support of her.
[37:21] Has your creativity started to spark?
Erin said absolutely. She’s now made the choice to “join the human race” and to love herself. She makes talking about recovery part of her everyday life and puts herself out there without shame.
[40:28] Rapid Fire Round
- If you could talk to younger Erin what would you say?
You’re enough and take care of yourself.
- What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?
I’m ok in this moment and there is a purpose for why I am here.
- What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?
Chocolate ice cream
- What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?
Podcasts, yoga and meditation, the miracle morning idea and enjoying not being hung over. Getting outside with her kids.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze?
Just do it. Just try it. Give yourself enough time to give it a shot.
You may have to say adios to booze…
If you don’t recognize yourself anymore.
Odette’s challenge this week:
Give yourself a few minutes to look back on your journey. Ask yourself “What was recovery made possible?” Write it down, read it often. You are worthy of everything.
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Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
- Recovery Elevator’s first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is FREE for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
- Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/10/20. It’s FREE for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
- You can find more information about our events here.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – “This journey isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it and I promise you it’s possible, I’m here for you all – I love you guys”
by Paul Churchill | Aug 24, 2020 | Podcast
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Anika is the founder of Grüvi and a member of the sober curious community. This is her story of being an entrepreneur and helping to provide NA beverages to those who want them.
Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You.
You are in charge of setting and honoring your own boundaries. Everyone has different triggers, for example if NA beers and beverages are triggering to you, then you don’t have to explore that avenue. You know how to best protect your journey. Stay open and stay curious and protect your energy.
[4:53] Odette introduces Anika.
Anika is sober curious so she’s not very strict on keeping track of dates. But her last drink was right around the beginning of Covid. She is 24 years old and lives in Canada. She enjoys being outdoors, yoga, hiking and traveling.
[6:56] Walk me through your sober curious journey.
Anika said her sober curious nature came out during her last year at University. She was a social drinker, but in her last year she found herself saying “I don’t want to have to go out with friends tonight, because then I will have to drink and then I will be hung over.” She experienced all the benefits of a life away from alcohol: better sleep, having more clarity and being more productive.
[9:38] Did something spark your thought process to become aware of a life away from alcohol at such a young age?
Anika said at first, she was like everyone else with regards to drinking and felt it was a stage in life. But when she created the Grüvi brand was when she really started to see how life can continue on without alcohol and with an alternate beverage. She was able to have a social life without having to have the social lubricant.
[11:15] How did Grüvi start?
Grüvi launched a year ago in Denver and it’s a family business. They have been a health focused family, led by their father. Finding that the NA category was lacking in options pushed them to create Grüvi.
[12:34] Where did the name come from?
Anika said Grüvi is taking the word “groovy” and making it fun and new. You can be fun and silly and youthful even without alcohol.
[14:59] Tell me about the specifics of Grüvi?
Currently there are 4 craft beers and 1 prosecco. The beers are brewed through a processed of arrested fermentation, which stops the brewing before any alcohol is introduced. However, because this does go through a fermentation process, there are trace amounts of alcohol (similar to kombuca). The prosecco is 0.0% ABV.
They are expanding too! Anika says that hopefully they will be offering a bubbly Rose by the end of summer 2020.
[20:58] Are most people open to the dialogue (about this NA movement)?
Anika said that after living in Denver for over a year after University and returning to Canada and the friend group there, she was a little nervous. Through this she has realized that her friends support her no matter what. And she told them she is happy with her decision to not be drinking so they should be too.
[23:10] What’s it like working with your family?
Anika said so far, it’s been great! They are living together again as a family and it’s been smooth. She’s enjoying the opportunity to grow closer to her family through this.
[33:30] What are you excited about right now?
Anika said every day is new and exciting. Grüvi is at that step where they are expanding and growing. This includes new states and being able to be local and accessible to more people. They are expanding their ambassador program and Anika is spearheading this. She loves getting to talk to the community and grow the movement together.
[36:50] Rapid Fire Round
- Other than Grüvi, what’s your favorite NA beverage?
Being her own bartender and making mocktails or a matcha latte.
- What is a memorable moment you’ve had while not drinking?
Going out dancing with her friends and enjoying the music.
- What are some of your favorite resources?
Books:
The Sober Curious & This Naked Mind
Instagram accounts:
@Ditchedthedrink
@soberbabes
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze?
Take the first jump, the first decision is always the hardest. You have nothing to lose.
Odette’s challenge this week:
Give a new tool a try. Maybe you go to an AA meeting for the first time, maybe you join Café Re, maybe you ask a friend to be your accountability partner, maybe you try a new Kombucha flavor or you try a new meditation. If we don’t try new things we will never know if it will help us in this journey.
Email Odette here and tell her what you tried.
Grüvi discount detail:
For 15% off your order with Grüvi visit their website and use the promo code recovery elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
- Recovery Elevator’s first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
- Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
- You can find more information about our events
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – Let’s be respectful of others, lets focus on similarities and not differences, let’s make space for those who are different than us instead of automatically canceling them out- I love each and every one of you guys”
by wordpress | Mar 28, 2019
Alcohol-free Travel See the World in Ways You've Never Imagined Learn More See The World In Ways You’ve Never Imagined Traveling the world with other like-minded individuals is an absolute blast. There is an alcohol free travel movement happening now and we...
by wordpress | Mar 25, 2019
Asia Adventure January 20 – 31, 2020 Registration opens July 1st, 2019 Learn More Travel the world… without alcohol On Recovery Elevator sober travel trips, since we aren’t wasting time nursing hangovers in the morning, we fully take advantage of the...
