by Kris Oyen | Jun 14, 2021 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 330– You change and grow and evolve and that’s a good thing.
You get better, wiser, stronger and make better decisions. You can’t be afraid of that.
Tricia took her last drink on November 14, 2016. She is from Dallas and is 40 years old. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF).
Today’s episode will be a bit different. Tricia chatted with Paul previously on episodes 100 and 212. We will focus on life beyond the bottle and what happens after you have some sober time under your belt.
https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-100-binge-drinking-problem-2/
https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-212-the-body-tells-us-where-to-go-next/
Today is the final episode of Season 2. Season 3 of the Recovery Elevator podcast begins June 21st. We are focused on having fun, staying authentic, spicy chili mango, ice cream and helping others along the way.
Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.
Odette has encountered many people who feel stuck. They are struggling with letting go of booze. It’s hard to let go of alcohol in a society that encourages drinking. It is normal and part of cognitive dissonance. You can step out of that societal pressure that encourages alcohol consumption. It’s when we resist that it feels the hardest. Choosing to see this journey as an opportunity instead of a sacrifice helps is the first step to breaking free. Choosing to see we are the lucky ones.
Alcohol makes false promises. When we engage differently with the world, we learn we are detaching from booze and the matrix. We must be part of society, but we have power to choose and create new experiences. We outgrow our old selves and fitting in with others.
Remember you have the power to break free from the matrix. You have the power to heal, make new friends, make different decisions, and focus on a better life. Lean into new beginnings. You matter! You can find peace in your decision to stop drinking.
[10:28] Odette welcomes Tricia
Tricia took her last drink on November 14, 2016. She describes herself as a high functioning drinker. Her family had addiction issues. Tricia talked about being co-dependent and she was a perfectionist and over achiever. Success validated her. She worked in a service industry and as a chef. She worked hard and drank hard. She was protective of her drinking because she didn’t want anyone to know about her drinking. She was obsessed with making it look like everything was fine. She was a blackout drinker. She was scared about that progression. She was unable to quit for more than a month at a time. She got divorced and used alcohol to cope and avoid her feelings. Her anxiety peaked and her drinking became out of control. One Monday she went through three days of withdrawal after a weekend of binge drinking. She reminds everyone not to quit cold turkey if they are physically addicted because it can be life-threatening. She started listening to podcasts, Recovery Elevator and heard stories that sounded like her. She began looking for resources and she went to an AA meeting. She worked the steps, got a sponsor, and went to therapy. Not all of them stuck, but she liked being able to do it her way. Tricia has found freedom in recovery.
[20:10] Is it easy to forget how bad your problem was? How do you make yourself remember?
Tricia said she forgets, but not in a way that makes her want to drink. She knows it was terrible and doesn’t want to go back. The freshness of early sobriety, her first 90 days are hard to remember. Recovery is a big part of her life which makes it easier to remember.
[23:19] What are some of your later lessons of sobriety?
Tricia said people pleasing and inner child work are old habits to break. Initially your focus is not drinking. In time you find new things to work on and it never gets old. People pleasing is a tough one to overcome. Separating herself from her feelings was huge. Alcohol was 20% of her issue, the other issues emerge as you gain sobriety.
[26:25] What is your currency now?
Tricia said joy and peace. At night, if she is sleeping easy and she isn’t ruminating, she knows she is doing something right. Breathwork and meditation help. Her focus was on achievement and what she could earn. When she finds joy in things and what makes her happy, she is at peace. You make choices about how you live life, and it brings you freedom. Stopping and being mindful of what she is thinking is the work. Small, steady work on your thoughts is important.
[30:50] How do you protect your energy?
Tricia said identifying energy sucks are critical. She is mindful of her reactions to things. Identifying ‘her part’ is important. Identifying what she can control helps. There are days when she didn’t sleep well or didn’t eat and she doesn’t do as good a job as she would like, but she gets an opportunity to try again the next day. Tricia recognizes she will disappoint herself and others. She does the best she can and embraces her humanity. We are all doing the best we can, and listening is important. Getting counsel from people who know you well is helpful. She likes to remember that not everyone is thinking about you. Tricia says, find your team – people who know your story. Don’t live someone else’s life. Think about yourself the way your dog loves you!
[41:15] How do you manage your relationship with anxiety?
Tricia said she has struggled with anxiety since age 7. She had physical panic attacks at age 20. Medication has helped, but she didn’t have any tools. Anxiety can be progressive. She was blocking out days at a time because of anxiety, not alcohol. Now she lives with anxiety and pretends it’s a roommate. She knows how to keep it in check. Giving up alcohol is the best thing you can do. Tricia focuses on trying to prevent anxiety and meditation, exercise, journaling, a therapist are great tools. Routine is important including good sleep.
[45:32] How is being tuned into your body helpful?
Tricia said, the body keeps the score. It holds onto trauma, memories, etc. Through breathwork, she is learning to connect to her body. It checks her into her body, and she can feel when she is getting triggered, stressed, or tired. Expressing uncomfortable emotions is so important, otherwise it shows up as anxiety or a drinking problem.
Book Reference: The Body Keeps the Score
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18693771-the-body-keeps-the-score
[50:12] Rapid Fire Round
- What is something unexpected in your journey?
How fun it is.
- What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Tricia can’t eat ice cream, but she loves peach pie.
- What has recovery made possible for you?
Meeting myself and who I really am.
- What parting advice would you give to young listeners?
Ask questions about your relationship with alcohol. Push back. If you drink, you will miss out. Holding on to booze keeps you missing out.
Odette’s Summary
Odette challenges us to take out our journal and write out what the most beautiful and authentic version of your life looks life. If the unknown is hard to process, give your brain some direction. Write it down, fill in those fear gaps with hope. Feel free to email me at odette@recoveryelevator.com.
You took the elevator down; you must take the stairs back up.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
“Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never
know the light – I love you guys”
by Kris Oyen | Jun 7, 2021 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 329 – I started to notice the expectations putting an expectation on things or a timeline or predict reactions. I try to do what I can every day and try not to put expectations on things anymore.
Dane took his last drink on October 11, 2020. He is from Washington State, and he is 32 years old. This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF).
Season 3 of the Recovery Elevator podcast begins June 21st. We are focused on having fun, staying authentic and helping others along the way.
Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.
Odette spoke about her beloved Peleton and the arsenal of “why’s”. and thought shifts. The instructor encouraged Odette to dig into her arsenal of why’s and keep going. Odette reflected on Simon Sinek’s book, Start with Why.
Odette reflected on her time in rehab. She focused on why she was recovering from food addiction. She knew having a family was her why and
Actions can be driven by fear or manipulation or love and inspiration. Simon says few people or companies can articulate why they do what they do.
Charisma has nothing to do with energy, it come from clarity of WHY. Energy comes from good sleep or caffeine. Charisma comes from loyalty, energy does not. Our purpose is to stay on the path of an alcohol-free life. Odette wants to stay sober so her kids can have a health, not perfect role model. Odette wants to have healthy relationships and break toxic patterns in society . Odette has many why’s and she leans on those whys when her tank is empty. Hard days are part of a good life. Dig into your arsenal of WHY’s.
[7:56] Odette introduces Dane
Dane took his last drink on October 11, 2020. He lives in Washington State. He is a buy and hold real estate investor. He subcontracts with janitorial work. He is 32 and single. He has a son arriving in June. He was an only child, so he is hoping to make it as fun as possible. He loves to travel, seeing culture, history, and food. He loves cross fit, yoga, the river, boating and is returning to meditation.
[10:49] Tell us about your history with drinking?
Dane said he started drinking in high school He and a friend drank a fifth. In junior year, beer was the drink of choice. In college he was mixing drinks and he noticed things going downhill. He had a rock bottom moment; he was in a car accident. He was transported to Portland and was in the hospital for 30 days. He was de-gloved. After a year of healing, he returned to college to get his degree. For two months he didn’t drink. When he started again, he would black out and it went downhill from there.
[14:13] Were you questioning your relationship with alcohol when your accident occurred?
Dane said the night of the accident, he didn’t drink any more than usual. A psychology class prompted him to think about how much he drank. He moderated and binge drank on the weekends. Everybody drank in college, so it didn’t seem like a big deal.
[16:08] What happened after college?
After college, Dane moved to Seattle for a large city experience. He binged with his friends on the weekends. He began to distance himself from his friends so he wouldn’t drink as much. He went home to visit him family. His business and his family inspired him to move back to Eastern Washington.
[17:40}. When did you attempt to stop drinking?
Dane said he and his girlfriend had an argument. He didn’t remember any of it. He drove back to his house and awoke with shame, guilt, and anxiety. He tried to quit before, but generally avoiding his friends and moderating. He knew the life he wanted to have wouldn’t exist without drinking.
[19:47] What was your thought process about quitting?
Dane said once the car accident happened it put a bull’s eye on him. It put him on the map with an alcohol problem. People asked him about quitting or moderating.
When people asked him about quitting, he wanted the details so he could understand it.
Dane googled how to quit drinking or famous people who quit drinking. He knew for five years, he needed to quit, he just didn’t know how.
[24:06] What happened on October 10th?
I had an argument with my girlfriend and I couldn’t remember any of it. The first three days were recuperation. He continued looking at other nondrinkers. Dane found Café RE, and a weight was lifted. He knew he was not alone. As he continues getting tools, he knows his life is better.
He realized he was a good person but didn’t show his best character when drinking.
[27:34] How did you handle early sobriety?
Dane said he was always a binge drinker, and he listened to podcasts and focused on podcasts, yoga, and healthy food. He is tempted with a cold beer or a shot, but he goes back to what he may feel, do, or say.
Dane often thought he didn’t have a problem because he wasn’t a daily drinker.
A lot of times the hard things are hard. We think backwards.
He lets people know he isn’t drinking. Many people ask him how many days he has.
Dane gave a shout out to P
[37:27] Do you have a favorite non-alcoholic drink?
Dane said Topo Chico and Fred Meyer’s Selzer water. He loves the feeling. He also does some NA beers. He goes to water quickly.
[38:55} Have you noticed any changes in your daily routine?
Dane said he is sleeping a lot more. He acknowledges his body is healing and he needs the sleep. Day to day he works out and goes to one of his properties. He is working on meditation.
Dane is managing his expectations and tries to limit them.
[43 21:] Rapid Fire Round
- What is a lightbulb moment you have you had in this journey?
I feel better physically and mentally
- What would you say to your younger self?
Try the experiment but acknowledge your goals for your body and your spirit.
- What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Ben & Jerry’s tonight dough.
- What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners who are considering ditching the booze?
You are going to feel shitty, but you must let go of alcohol as the crutch.
You may have to say Adios to booze if …
If you almost die, almost lose your arm….
Odette’s Summary
Odette challenges us to build our list of why’s. Find all the reasons why you want to stay committed to ditching the booze.
This isn’t a no to alcohol, but a yes to a better life.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
“Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never
know the light – I love you guys”
by Kris Oyen | May 31, 2021 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 328 – the quality of my relationships with other people in the world is limited by the quality of my relationship with myself.
Adam took his last drink on December 13, 2019. He is from Massachusetts, and he is 37 years old. This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF).
Season 3 of the Recovery Elevator podcast begins June 21st. We are focused on having fun, staying authentic and helping others along the way.
Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.
Odette spoke about early sobriety and thought shifts. Early sobriety can be exhausting because your body is resetting, and your thoughts are playing tug-o-war. You have permission to be tired in early recovery. The mental work is exhausting. Odette referenced Melody Beattie and the Language of Letting Go. Letting go of fear is at the core of codependency. Fear can help you protect yourself. In recovery, waving goodbye to fear allows you to embrace safety, trust, peace, and acceptance. Pay attention to healthy fears and let go of the rest. We can trust and love ourselves.
Sometimes what is best for us feels wrong. We oversee letting go of what doesn’t serve us anymore. Peace begins within you.
[8:15] Odette introduces Adam
Adam took his last drink on December 13, 2019. He lives in Western Massachusetts with his wife and two young children. He is a lawyer. He loves running, hiking, reading, and playing with his two girls.
[9:51] Tell us about your history with drinking?
Adam said his first love was marijuana. He smoked during high school. His mother died suddenly when he was in college. He stopped smoking pot when he went to law school due to the conflict with legality. Slowly alcohol crept into his life. After a few years, he muted his feelings and pressures at work with alcohol. He quickly started moderating. He moved to Massachusetts and intended to stop drinking, but he was isolated, and his drinking escalated.
[12:28] What was your mindset around alcohol?
Adam said for him it was always numbing. He liked to drink alone. He struggled with family issues including shame, vulnerability, and food issues. He took on some of the behaviors he saw in his family.
[14:00] Did You have food issues as well?
Adam said he did struggle with weight as well. In junior year of high school, he lost 70 pounds. He loves running and that has helped him manage his emotions. He has been choosing mediation in the past year.
[15:21] How did your drinking evolve?
Adam said by 2014, he went to his first AA meeting. He spoke to his therapist about drinking, but he wasn’t ready to deal with it. He developed a pattern of lying about his drinking and he would get caught. He tried to control his drinking by buying nips.
He wanted a state of numbness without heavy consequences. He described an out of body experience about starting to drink and drive and hide bottles before he got home.
[17:45] Was your shame progressing?
Adam said it was terrible. He felt like a total failure. He was taking risks, putting his daughter in danger. The weight of the shame was huge.
Things came to a head when his wife was pregnant with their second child. He recalled lying about sobriety time and taking coins for a year of sobriety when he hadn’t achieved it. He brought the coins into the meeting and told them he had lied. He was accepted, given hugs and it opened the door for him to transition from shame to guilt. He was still drinking and hiding. Anticipating coping with a newborn prompted him to ask for a bigger level of help. He went to rehab to get well.
[22:51] Did returning the coins change how you approached drinking?
Adam said it opened the door to imperfection. He read “the Gifts of Imperfection” by Brene Brown. He learned that the quality of relationships with other people in this world were limited by his relationship with himself.
If he couldn’t learn to love himself, his relationship with his wife would suffer. He knew he needed to take 30 days away to have the space and room to learn to love himself.
[24:58] How were things when you returned home?
Adam has found freedom from his self-imposed “control” cage. When he returned home, he had a lot of trust to rebuild. He spent 15 hours a day changing his mindset while in rehab. When he returned home, he realized life went on. In the beginning he resisted several things. His wife asked him to put a breathalyzer in the car because she was concerned about him driving the children while intoxicated. Today he embraces that completely, but at the time his ego resisted the suggestion. He had to learn to ask for advice versus selling his excuses to others. He and his family have been safe for over a year. He has rebuilt trust and freedom with his family.
[30:53] How were the first few months?
Adam said he had very few cravings. He is active in AA. He attends four virtual meetings a week. He belongs to a gratitude group and shares three things he is grateful for every day.
[32:55] What role does exercise play in your recovery?
Adam ran when he was drinking. He works out now. He uses the peloton app and looks forward to running when the weather improves.
[33:39] Tell me about your meditation practice.
Adam dabbled in meditation for a while. In treatment, he focused on developing a meditation practice. He embraced the mantra, “I am worthy of receiving all of the love the universe has for me.”
He had some life changing moments with meditation, mantras and breathwork. Things just clicked. Adam meditates daily for a minimum of ten minutes. He loves how he can change how his body feels just by breathing. He knows it is worth it to try new things and invest in himself. Willingness is critical for him.
[37:55] How have your relationships evolved in recovery?
Adam referenced AA’s promises and said he could not have designed what his life is like now. He wakes up after disjointed sleep and realizes how lucky he is to experience his daughters. The last year (COVID) has been a gift with a new child, homeschooling, juggling careers and has helped his marriage.
[40:51] Is parenting triggering for you?
Adam said he doesn’t want to drink, but he often wants to escape. He leverages meditation to help him overcome those temporary challenges of parenting.
[42:44] What is your response when someone offers you a drink?
Adam feels very comfortable. He brings his own drink anytime he goes out, so he doesn’t risk having to look around for something.
His wife had a glass of wine after a year of not drinking (due to pregnancy) and didn’t like how she felt. She is joining Adam to be alcohol free.
The only thing Adam misses is the escape.
[46:33] What is something unexpected that has happened during your journey?
Adam said he experiences more joy daily than he thought was possible.
[46:44] What are you looking forward to?
Adam loves live music, specifically Fish and the Grateful Dead. Both bands have a big sober following. He wants to go to a concert and attending a fellowship meeting during a set break to experience live music and sobriety.
[47:54] Rapid Fire Round
- What would you say to your younger self?
You are worthy of receiving all the love that the universe has for you.
- What has recovery made possible for you?
Everything. Addiction is giving up everything for one thing and recovery is about giving up one thing for everything.
- What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Ben & Jerry’s oatmeal cookie.
- What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?
The book, The Four Agreements. His sponsor and his sober community have been tremendous assets.
- What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners who are considering ditching the booze?
There is nothing in this world that is worth more than an investment in yourself. Once you do that, you will have a life you can’t imagine.
You may have to say Adios to booze if …
If you find yourself drinking at an in-person AA meeting.
Odette’s Summary
Odette challenges listeners to take out your journals and explore this prompt. When do I feel at peace? Is it easy to stay there? What do I run toward when I find myself unable to stay at peace?
Creating a new mindset takes more than quitting drinking. Learn more about yourself.
Check out our YouTube channel for a recipe for Tamarind limeade – lots of laughs!
You are not alone, together is always better. Peace begins with you.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- Bozeman 2021 (August 18-22, 2021). This is our flagship annual retreat held in the pristine forests of Big Sky Country, 10 miles south of Bozeman, Montana. During this 5-day event, you’ll discover how to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone.
- You can find more information about our events
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
“Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never
know the light – I love you guys”
by Kris Oyen | May 24, 2021 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 327 – trying to stop and think about, is alcohol serving me? I don’t have to decide right now, I need to get back to basics.
Chloe took her last drink on June 7, 2020. She is from the UK and is 32 years old. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF).
Odette gave a shout out to Brainwashed Coffee that is one of the sponsors of the Bozeman retreat. They also donate 50% of their proceeds to those in addiction recovery.
https://www.brainwashedcoffeeco.com/ Promo Code: elevator for a 20% discount.
Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.
Odette spoke about growing up with her brother, Charlie and playing lots of video games. Odette talked about trust and video games. Trust is earned. The more you do the next right thing and protect your sobriety, you get to the next level, just the way you level up when playing video games. Facing recovery with fun instead of fear helps you recognize your increasing skills that come with practice.
[6:09] Odette introduces Chloe
Chloe took her last drink on June 7, 2020. She said it has been a crazy journey. Chloe is 32 and lives in the UK. She has a dog, and she loves walking the dog, running, anything active.
[7:16] Tell us about your history with drinking?
Chloe started drinking at age 15. She was a binge drinker like many of her friends. She didn’t see it as a problem until her mid to late twenties. She started listening to the Recovery Elevator podcast. She reached one-year of sobriety and had a relapse that was lengthy. As of this recording she has 8 months of continuous sobriety.
[8:19] What put you on the trajectory to quit drinking?
Chloe said she wanted to drink more than she could get away with. As her moderation journey continued, her drinking got worse. She got depressed and was in a bad relationship. She attempted suicide and was put into an inpatient program for depression. She was sneaking alcohol while in the program but didn’t relate the correlation between drinking and her depression, she found AA and discovered she could have a happy life without drinking.
[11:01] Did the doctors treating your depression ask about your drinking?
Chloe said she played down her drinking. She thought everyone did that. Alcohol was such a crutch, and it was something she looked forward to, so it was hard to get her head around stopping.
[12:30] How did you end up at your first AA meeting?
Chloe said the more she tried to moderate, the more out of control her drinking became. She answered yes to every question on an alcohol quiz. She was able to relate to what people in AA said. They were able to have a happy, functional life without alcohol. It helped her change her thinking about drinking and her depression.
[14:49] What happened after your first AA meeting?
Chloe stopped drinking for a bit, then relapsed. She went into a second treatment program and got sober. She worked the steps. She achieved a year of sobriety. She started drinking after getting into a relationship with someone new. He was a drinker and she wanted to share that experience. Over the next 18 months, her drinking became progressively worse. Her thinking was muddled. She read Paul Churchill’s book; Alcohol is Sh*t! She realized she didn’t need to figure out if she was powerless, yet. She needed to get back to basics and keep trying. Even one day of sobriety is progress.
[18:08] Did the desire to fit in influence your relapse?
Chloe said she thought she could have fun with alcohol and stop again. She didn’t realize how insidious it is to continue starting and stopping over and over. Sobriety is precious. She felt crazy. She would listen to sobriety podcasts, then drink at night. She learned a lot of lessons through drinking.
[21:54] Did you share your sobriety with people outside of AA?
Chloe said she did share her quest for sobriety with the person she was in a relationship with. She had to get support when she returned to sobriety. She has great friends in AA and her family is supportive as well.
[23:02] Did sobriety help your depression?
Chloe said about six months into sobriety she noticed the feelings of joy and gratitude that she hadn’t experienced before. The depression was gone. Her life had meaning and a reason to go on.
[24:46] What motivated you to quit again?
Chloe said it was during lockdown and things were bad. Lockdown accelerated her drinking. She drank three bottles of wine a day, passed out and kept repeating it day after day. Her last night of drinking, she drank so much, she got into a fight and got violent with her partner at the time. She called the police, and they took him away. The next morning, she realized she was the one with the problem and it couldn’t happen again. The risk was no longer worth it. She felt done and resigned. She threw everything she had at sobriety. She went back to AA and attacked sobriety, stacked days and she is grateful it’s working. The first few months were tough, now she doesn’t have to work so hard to stay sober.
[28:11] Do you realize how amazing it is that you pulled it together?
Chloe said her self-esteem was strengthened. She knows she can do hard things and other things she didn’t think were possible.
[30:21] Did you start going back to meetings?
Chloe said, not immediately, but now she can attend in person meetings. She has friends in AA, she connected to people on Instagram, listened to podcasts and joined Café RE.
[31:32] How do you manage cravings?
Chloe said she is learning not to freak out. She doesn’t overthink the craving. It’s normal. Cravings are just a thought. She plays the tape forward, exercises and reaches out to friends.
[33:55] Do you get any negative feedback from others about your sobriety?
She said, not this round. In the last round a co-worker said he didn’t trust anyone who didn’t drink.
[34:45] Have you overcome the concern about having fun sober?
Chloe had to rethink her mindset about sobriety and looks at it as a joyful, amazing journey of growth and possibility vs. misery and deprivation. She has more energy, more enthusiasm, more interests, more people in her life.
[37:34] Have you been able to identify triggers?
Chloe said stress and celebrations are her biggest triggers. She recognizes that drinking is no longer a celebration. The pause is so important.
[38:58] Rapid Fire Round
- What would you say to your younger self?
Keep trying no matter what.
- What is your go to response when someone offers you a drink?
She hasn’t faced that because of lockdown. Her planned response is, yes please, I’ll have a sparkling water.
- What has recovery made possible for you?
Everything. When she was drinking, she was doing nothing. She is training for a marathon, starting a new career and happily single.
- What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
All ice cream. She hasn’t had a bad one!
- What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners who are considering ditching the booze?
Keep putting in the action, stacking the days and the result will come.
You may have to say Adios to booze if …
If you are listening to podcasts about sobriety.
Odette’s Summary
We have your back. We are your safe container. The journey comes with different levels. Hit the save button when you get stuck. Take a breath, ask for help. Nothing great is ever done on our own, sobriety takes a village. Have fun along the way and trust the process.
Remember that you are not alone and together is always better. We can do this!
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- Bozeman 2021 (August 18-22, 2021). This is our flagship annual retreat held in the pristine forests of Big Sky Country, 10 miles south of Bozeman, Montana. During this 5-day event, you’ll discover how to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone.
- You can find more information about our events
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
“Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never
know the light – I love you guys”
by Kris Oyen | May 17, 2021 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Episode 326 – playing forward and playing it present — if I drink again, why would I want to go down that path?
Erik took his last drink on March 9, 2019. He is from upstate New York. This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF).
This quarter’s Recovery Elevator donation went to “The Phoenix.”
thephoenix.org
Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.
Odette is training for a marathon. She reached out to her fitness coach Paul from RecoveryFit1 to get some guidance on training, cross-training, etc. She has noticed the training for the race is re-training her brain, rewriting her story and building her confidence. Crossing the finish line of a marathon is scary for Odette. During her childhood, she participated in the rally portion of the mini-Olympics. She fell and as a result her team was in last place. From then on, she told herself she was not a runner.
Odette recognizes we often get stuck in our stories because those stories are all we know. We need to believe we can do things differently. She is using visualization techniques to overcome her old stories. What stories are we telling ourselves about our alcohol-free journey? Are those stories holding you back or keeping you stuck? How can you re-write your story?
[8:53] Odette introduces Erik
Erik took his last drink on March 9, 2019. His journey includes ups, downs, and stability. He grew up in upstate New York and lives in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, He is 42, single and living it up in the sunshine state. Erik loves binge watching TV (COVID), meet-up.com, brunch, dinner, event planning, relaxing and baths.
[11:23] Tell us about your history with drinking?
Erik took his first drink at junior prom and found his dad’s secret stash of Manhattan’s. He didn’t drink much until college. He remembers the Bridge Street Run and he got completely wasted and was on camera when the local news covered the event. His drinking progressed from there. He moved to Los Angeles and in 2010 he got his first DUI. He knew his drinking was a problem and he started looking at his drinking more closely.
His DUI stemmed from a party that included friends from college. At 3 AM, he remembers driving home and avoiding someone on the side of the road. He passed an accident and almost ran over the cops. His recollection was foggy because he was so intoxicated. He exited the freeway on Hollywood Blvd., was arrested and the cops took him back to the scene of the accident so he could see where he almost ran the cops over.
His friends came to pick him up and told him, ‘It’s ok, it happens to everyone’.
[17:55] What happened after the DUI?
Eric looks at his drinking career through the lens of his DUI’s because he’s had three in ten years. He went to AA after the first DUI. He took one of the quizzes about problem drinking. His gut knew he had a problem, but he ignored it and went along with his friends who said it was not a big deal.
He moved to Florida and picked up where he left off. His 2nd DUI was in 2013. He remembers going out, ripping his jeans from dancing and drove from West Palm Beach to Ft. Lauderdale. He was driving 80 MPH in a 35 MPH zone. He blew a .15 and went to court.
Five years later he got his third DUI.
[21:16] What was your drinking like between the DUI’s?
After the first DUI, it scratched the surface of concern, but he kept drinking. Erik describes himself as a celebratory binge drinker.
He went to AA for four months without drinking and believed moderating would work for him. He was able to moderate successfully until the shut off valve in his brain didn’t shut off.
In 2018, Erik got his third DUI. He had a breathalyzer in his vehicle and was still positive (for alcohol) the next day. Erik took a cab to work. Erik never wants to be like that again.
[27:39] What other elements of your life (at the time) could be attributed to alcohol?
Erik said from 2016-2018 he was a mess. He was on anti-depressants and drinking and the combination and progression were not good. Erik knew peer pressure was a big deal for him. He learned to distance himself from people who drink. He acknowledges his choices and recognizes he needs to say no to others in an
[30:02] Did you have a rock bottom when you had your last drink?
Erik said the weekend after his third DUI he was drinking, and he drove a friend to the airport at 5 am. He went to AA for six months. He chaired meetings, read the books. His attorney helped him to stay out of jail by wearing an ankle monitor. He was unable to get into treatment because he already had six months of sobriety. Erik had to hack the system to get treatment. He got really drunk to make sure he could get into treatment vs. jail.
[37:54] How was your life after treatment?
Erik described treatment being a gift. There were some downsides, including losing his privacy. When he left rehab, he was required to wear an ankle monitor. He had a falling out with his sponsor. He made a choice to drink to stay out of jail. He became forthcoming with his therapist and social worker. AA was a blessing for him. He found Recovery Elevator during COVID, and he sees many similarities to AA.
Some days are hard and other days are beautiful. Sobriety is work. It’s a daily chore, but it’s so worth it for him. It works if you work it and work it because you are worth it!
Erik thirsts for Recovery Elevator to become bigger. He loves the meet ups and the chats, and it has been great for him.
[46:39] How do you relate to alcohol now?
Erik said his ankle monitor came in handy. It helped him through several situations including a funeral, a long layover at an airport. Erik knows he can have fun without alcohol, and he can be in public spaces without drinking. He is learning about who he is and who he wants to be. Time heals all wounds, and you get more comfortable with sobriety with time.
Playing it forward and playing it present helps him stay sober.
[51:01] Rapid Fire Round
- What has this journey made possible for you?
It has allowed me to get to know myself and look inside and see who I want to be as a human being and how I want to interact with the universe.
- What is your go to response when someone offers you a drink?
No, thank you.
- What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Rocky Road
- What is an unexpected perk of this journey?
I have more patience and I’m more in the moment. You experience sunrises and sunsets differently. Florida is beautiful year around and he loves being in the moment.
- What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners who are considering ditching the booze?
Stick with it. Listen to your gut. We’ve all had plenty of day 1’s. Don’t minimize your sobriety. Be thankful for what you have and keep coming back.
You may have to say Adios to booze if …
You have to check your car for damage after a night of drinking or can’t remember where your car is.
Odette’s Summary
One of our team members, Alan Copeland is going to share about Café RE. Check out Alan’s episode 287. Alan has been with Café RE since January 1, 2020. He helps onboard new members. Café RE includes:
- Connection with like-minded people
- Podcast
- Over 20 online chats per week
- Accountability partner
- Facebook group
- In person meet-ups with sober people (have fun without drinking)
- Courses including Restore, Ditch the Booze
- Book club
- Movie Club
- Yoga
- Fitness class
- Member listing
- Recovery Buffet (AA, Smart Recovery, Recovery Dharma friendly – we support the menu of options for recovery)
- $24 monthly membership fee
- Cancel anytime, rejoin anytime
Alan believes RE can help you overcome loneliness. You quickly understand there are like-minded people who are here to support you. Lifelong friendships are built in Café RE. We focus on the similarities. We don’t follow a specific program we are open to multiple options for recovery. The light will always be on for you here at Café RE.
Remember that you are not alone and together is always better. We can rewrite our stories.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- Bozeman 2021 (August 18-22, 2021). This is our flagship annual retreat held in the pristine forests of Big Sky Country, 10 miles south of Bozeman, Montana. During this 5-day event, you’ll discover how to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone.
- You can find more information about our events
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
“Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never
know the light – I love you guys”
