by Paul Churchill | Oct 28, 2019 | Podcast
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Jay took his last drink on Decemeber 26, 2018. This is his story.
Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
On today’s episode Paul talks about a response to a post on Reddit. Not knowing exactly what the initial post said, Paul guesses it was something about the poster wanting to ditch the booze, but not being able to.
The response…” You know what, you‘re heading in the right direction to win. You want to stop. You literally cannot win without that. I’ve lost friends to booze and none of them wanted to stop. Wanting to stop provides friction. It adds resistance to drinking, which has the effect of reducing your intake. Maybe you start an hour later in the day. Maybe you drink one glass less. That helps. It makes it easier to apply more friction in the future.”
The intention to stop is the most important thing.
[9:44] Paul introduces Jay.
Jay is 37 years old and grew up in upstate New York. He has lived in North Carolina for the last 9 years. He has a full-time sales job and a full time real-estate side hustle. He enjoys mountain biking and golf. He is married.
[11:05] Give us a background on your drinking.
In high school Jay had fun after the Friday night football games. In college Jay partied on Friday and Saturday nights. He was a weekend warrior during his twenties. He relocated in 2010 and started experiencing problems that he couldn’t solve. This is when alcohol really made it’s appearance.
[14:40] Do you feel your sports background backfired when it came to quitting drinking?
Yes. Jay says he ran into a set of problems that he could not out hustle, could not out grind.
[15:30] Early thirties and anxiety is creeping up, take it from there.
Rather than talking about it with the people he loved he internalized it. 2016-2018 Jay says he was a pressure cooker. He was never saying no, never setting boundaries.
[17:50] Did you ever try to moderate?
Around 2016 Jay recognized that alcohol was getting out of control. He would go 30-40 days AF a few times a year. After trying to fight a stranger at a party Jay knew the gig was up. He later had a conversation with his best friend and told him that he thought he had a drinking problem. Jay says that in that moment he felt a weight off his shoulders.
[27:24] What did you find when you went internal?
Jay learned that he’s a people pleaser, that he didn’t know what boundaries were, and having his emotional bids minimized really hurt.
[32:20] How’d you do it?
Jay says ever since the moment he told his friend that he has a drinking problem he has not experienced cravings. He has not attended AA, and does not like the term ‘alcoholic’.
[33:35] What’s been the hardest thing you’ve gone through in sobriety?
Jay says he’s gone through some events where there has been a lot of drinking and when people asked him why he wasn’t drinking his reply was, “I have goals so big that I and to give up some things.”
[37:15] What advice can you give to guys out there about emotions?
There is no courage without vulnerability.
[41:05] Rapid Fire Round
- What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?
Finally digging down to what was causing the sadness and now having an awareness of that.
- What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?
Those moments where this incredible peace overcomes you.
- What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?
I drink coffee and water.
- What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?
Writing in my journal every morning has been a tremendous help.
- What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?
Fly to California and drive the Pacific Coast Highway from end to end.
- And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Have the courage to be honest with yourself and with the people closest to you.
- You might need to ditch the booze if…
If you self-impose a rule of only two 24 oz. Twisted Teas and then switch to Miller Lights because you’re worried about cavities.
Upcoming retreats:
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about this event here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this.”
by Paul Churchill | Oct 21, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Gracie took her last drink on September 29, 2018. This is her story.
Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
On today’s episode Paul talks about connection. Human connection is an innate need to create a social bond with others.
For those that found a temporary connection with alcohol and are now trying to ditch the booze now find them facing disconnection head on. You are listening to the inner voice that isn’t craving alcohol, but is craving connection.
How to connect…ask for connection every single morning. Aim for 50% to be external connections, and the other 50% internal. If a connection is built within, we can go through difficult times in life and still feel that warmth. If you address the internal connection the external connection solves itself.
SHOW NOTES
[14:25] Paul introduces Gracie.
Gracie grew up in the Midwest and is currently living in Chicago. She is 32 years old and is a nurse. Gracie loves camping, backpacking, traveling abroad doing medical trips, and has recently gotten into rock and minerals. She lives with her boyfriend, who is 4 years sober.
[22:55] Give us a background on your drinking.
Gracie didn’t start drinking until she was 19 years old and off at college. Her drinking didn’t get bad until age 21/22 when she was in the Peace Corp and was partying hard with the other volunteers. In her mid-twenties she was binge drinking on the weekends and coming home and drinking by herself. She was experiencing a lot of loneliness and anxiety at the time, so would drink. By Gracie’s late 20s she was drinking most nights and having blackouts.
Gracie says she had a lot of ‘soft bottoms’ and it wasn’t until she was about 28 years old that it occurred to her that she needed to stop drinking. It was at this time that Gracie was starting to read self-help books and was interested in spiritual growth. As she started getting into medication retreats and plant medicine, she says she kept getting the message, from her heart, that her drinking was holding her back.
[37:45] How did it feel when you started to feel your feelings?
Gracie says she was afraid in the beginning, that she was even afraid to feel a feeling coming on. She says meditation helped her let the feelings come and pass. Gracie says it took months for her to learn to trust that a feeling wouldn’t swallow her whole.
[41:45] Was there a rock bottom before you quit drinking?
Gracie says there was a lot of heartbreaking moments. She was functioning but her relationships were suffering. She says there was this constant low-grade feeling of disfunction.
[44:50] Share with us how you did it.
Podcasts and books were a big part of her getting sober. For maintenance she uses her sobriety tracker on her phone. She is running a lot and taking her health more seriously.
[46:55] Do you have an in-person community that you meet up with?
Gracie says she does not, but that she thinks that may be what is next. Meetings have never been part of her journey but she says that may be her next step.
[48:12] What was the response when you posted on social media?
Gracie says the response was so supportive and it proved to be a very good thing for her.
[50:25] Rapid Fire Round
- What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?
I guess when I first heard, “stop obsessing about the word alcoholic and just look at what drinking is doing in your life.”.
- What is a gift sobriety has given you?
So much energy.
- What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?
I love gingerale and I love this Jamaican drink called Ting.
- What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?
I’m starting some trainings and certifications to become a flight nurse.
- And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Feel your feelings and love yourself. Make sobriety the most important thing in your life.
- You might have a drinking problem if…
You are an avid camper and want to achieve the perfect amount of hydration with drunkenness so you mix vodka with flavored Smart Water and just end up making a total ass of yourself.
Upcoming retreats:
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about this event here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – We took the elevator down; we have to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.”
by Paul Churchill | Oct 14, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Patty took her last drink on July 19, 2017. This is her story.
Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
On today’s episode Paul talks about the two main sources of unhappiness and how hope is sending us barreling off a cliff. On the surface hope is great. But where is it located on a timeline? In the future, not in the now.
If hope isn’t serving us, then what? Throttle back on the hope and lean into ‘this moment’.
SHOW NOTES
[12:00] Paul introduces Patty.
Patty is 665 years old and is originally from Fairbanks, AK. She currently lives in Corvallis, OR. Patty has 3 children in their forties and 7 grandkids. She worked at a university for 30 years and is now retired. For fun Patty likes to hike, kayak, and sailing.
[13:55] Give us a background on your drinking.
Patty says she was 14 years od the first time she got drunk, and that she was a black-out drinker her very first time. It wasn’t until she was in her 30’s that she felt she may have a problem; it was then she started to drink at home alone.
When Patty was in her forties, she started to attempt to give up alcohol. She would go a couple days up to 11 months, and that went on for about 15 years.
[18:15] Was there a moment that it got scary for you?
In early 2017 she drove home drunk from the airport and realized the next morning how dangerous that was. She says it scared her, that she could have killed someone, or herself.
[20:50] How did you do it those first couple weeks?
Patty said she had a different mindset this time. This time her mindset was one of, ‘I don’t have to do this (drink) anymore’, rather than, ‘I can’t do this anymore.’
[26:00] What are some improvements in life that you have experienced in a life without alcohol?
Patty says she used to make a lot of plans and then not follow through with them, she doesn’t do that anymore. She has signed up to get her pilot’s license, something that she has always wanted to do. Going to the RE Bozeman retreat. She has been a lot more physically active, instead of talking about walking the dog, she just gets up and goes.
[30:25] What is something that you’ve had to go through in the last 2 years that you didn’t expect?
Patty’s mom died 3 months ago and drinking didn’t even seem like an option. It was a real tough time, losing her mom and with family drama, but she was able to be present and she didn’t have conversations that she regretted later.
[37:20] What’s the biggest thing you’ve learned about yourself in these last 2 years?
Patty says it’s that she in genuinely a happy person.
[38:00] Was there a rock-bottom moment?
The drive home from the Eugene airport. Also, on July 19 drinking with her daughter, who herself was struggling with alcohol, and her 16-year-old granddaughter.
[43:00] Rapid Fire Round
- What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?
That I don’t have to drink.
- What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you?
Waking up early, I have just started taking a morning Pilates class.
- What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?
LaCroix, hands down.
- What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?
I hope to live in Panama half of the year, and I’m working on that.
- What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?
Definitely Café RE, and I’m a reader so I have every self-help book probably written since 1972.
- And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Think it all the way through, and remember you just don’t have to drink.
- You might have a drinking problem if…
You consider dropping $100 at every airport bar as just part of your traveling expense.
Upcoming retreats:
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about this event here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
ZipRecruiter
This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – We can do this.”
by Paul Churchill | Oct 7, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Kelly took her last drink on October 27, 2017. This is her story.
Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
On today’s episode Paul talks about his idea of opening an in person, wellness retreat center in Costa Rica. And while he has been working to create space for this idea and concept, and believes that the body is on board, there is still some discomfort getting out of his comfort zone.
The fact is, we all have rough days, including Paul. He says it’s important to give the body permission to feel the feelings, and also to give the body permission to allow them to go.
If this retreat center is something you’d be interested in attending email Paul at info@recoveryelevator.com .
Paul also addresses the question of, when do you know it’s a good time, after quitting alcohol, to start tackling other substances, behaviors, thought patterns, etc.? Paul’s advice is to go slow and to be patient, your body will know when it is time.
SHOW NOTES
[15:15] Paul introduces Kelly.
Kelly is 54 years old. She is married and has 2 adult children. Kelly is a full-time social worker at a hospital, and she speaks Spanish. For fun Kelly would like to get back into collecting vintage clothing. She likes to read and is looking forward to getting into outdoor activities.
[19:30] Give us a background on your drinking.
Kelly started drinking in 9th grade, just your average high school drinker. By her 2nd year of high school she feels she was drinking more regularly. She didn’t think she has a problem with alcohol because she wasn’t like her father. In 1987 she moved, thinking that that would fix any drinking issues she had.
[31:05] What happened right before you quit drinking?
There were a lot of stresses going on. She was constantly afraid of being pulled over to started to us LYFT. There was a lot of risk taking. She started buying bigger bottles.
Her son started to go to meetings for his own addictions. One nigh he told Kelly he didn’t feel it was safe for him to live at home, because of her drinking. That was the last night she drank.
[39:15] Talk to us about how you are embracing AA and the other side?
For the first 18 months Kelly was only doing AA. But she was also reading a ton of books by/or about women alcoholics. She says the AA meeting have been helpful but that she is bothered by some of the steps.
[53:00] Rapid Fire Round
- What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?
That I am as strong as I am.
- What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?
I like kombucha, and I like coffee.
- What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?
I like Russel Brands’ Recovery on CD. I listen to him in the car. AA meetings, I do like 3-4 a week, and the Big Book.
- What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?
Eventually liking the outdoors. Getting outside more.
- And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Listen to any voice inside that is telling you that something is wrong.
- You might have a drinking problem if…
You are 23-year-old woman that has gout.
Upcoming retreats:
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about this event here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Honey
This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at www.joinhoney.com/elevator . Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you’re shopping online
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – We took the elevator down, we have to take the stairs back up.”
by Paul Churchill | Sep 30, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Dan took his last drink on July 28, 2018. This is his story.
Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
On today’s episode Paul talks about how we need to read his book, and others like it, with pride. We have to shred the shame and ditch the stigma.
He shares a letter he received from someone that attended the Recovery Elevator Retreat in Bozeman recently, and as she was reading Alcohol is Sh!t on the plane the lady sitting next to her asked about the book. And she was able to share. Turned out the lady was on her way to help her daughter who had relapsed and needed to hear everything she had to say.
SHOW NOTES
[10:10] Paul introduces Dan.
Dan is a father of 3, has a daughter in college and the youngest is 14. He works as a retail executive. He lives in New York and enjoys cycling.
[12:45] Give us a background on your drinking.
Dan says he started drinking in high school and drank all through college. He says that drinking is a big part of the business world and he fell right into that. He didn’t realize he had an issue, but his wife did. He said he was drinking 5-6 drinks a night.
[15:35] Talk to us about how you asked yourself, “how can I quit?”.
Dan says he called a hypnotist to get some help, but after his initial call to her he never followed up. About a month later, on July 29, 2018, he was in a bad bicycle accident. His doctors took great care of him and he hasn’t had a drink since.
[18:10] What happened after the accident?
He had a bad brain injury so was told that he should not drink, if he did, he could have a seizure or a stroke. After 10 days Dan came home from the hospital only to find out that his wife had removed all the alcohol from the house. Dan says that was like being asleep and thrown into an ice-cold pool. His brother told him he needed to go to AA so he walked into one only to feel like he didn’t belong. He left that meeting angry and determined to show everyone wrong.
[24:05] How are you feeling now?
Dan says it’s a little bit of ‘he’s going to show them (his friends and family)’ and it’s a little bit of he likes the way he feels and he looks.
[26:47] You were told by your doctor not to drink for a year, because of the chance for a stroke…did you ever have the thought when that year was up to pick up a drink?
Dan says no, in fact he went to the conference he was supposed to be at the year before and never thought about it.
[28:17] At your yearly physical you asked your doctor if you could now have a glass of wine, and he asked you, “why would you?”, can you answer that question?
Dan says because of the social aspect, he admits to missing it.
[39:20] Dan talk to us about that connected feeling.
Dan is feeling connected to life and not the alcohol. He is feeling more connected to his family.
[40:25] What’s on your bucket list for an alcohol-free life?
Going to a sporting event AF and seeing what that’s like and racing again.
[43:00] Rapid Fire Round
- What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?
When I was at my physical and I asked my doctor if I could have a glass of wine and he leaned across the table and asked, “why the F would you?”.
- What’s a memorable moment a life without alcohol has given you?
A better connection with my children and my wife.
- What is your favorite poison free drink?
Diet Coke, I drink too much of it. I also like a nice latte.
- What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?
My favorite resources would be my family, cycling, I have a lot of resources at work too.
- And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
It’s not all about work, life is a balance, and the more pressure you’re under you need a release and a hobby.
- You might have a drinking problem if…
You’re a business person that the alcohol is incorporated into the fabric of your life.
Upcoming retreats:
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about this event here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
ZipRecruiter
This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside out.”
