by Paul Churchill | Aug 19, 2019 | Podcast
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Joy took her last drink on July 12, 2014. This is her story.
Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! Launch date, September 7, 2019, is less than a month away!
On today’s episode Paul talks about the phrase ‘spontaneous sobriety’. What is it? What does it mean?
Spontaneous sobriety means quitting drinking without any formal treatment such as rehab, inpatient treatment, or out-patient treatment. 12-step programs are not formal treatment due to the fact you can go when you want, work with, or without, a sponsor, and there is not a formal way to work the steps.
The majority of people get sober without formal help. According to the NESARC about 50% of all people that recovered from alcohol dependence did so completely on their own.
So how does one spontaneously ditch the booze? The listen to their body, read books, listen to podcasts, attend 12-step meetings, read blogs, talk to their therapist, join online recovery groups (like CaféRE), etc.… You talk about it; you burn the ships.
SHOW NOTES
[10:40] Paul introduces Joy.
Joy was born and raised in the suburbs of southeast Michigan and she moved to Connecticut about 15 years ago. She is 42 years old, has been married for almost 15 years, and has 2 sons. For work Joy is a holistic nurse practitioner, sober and grey area drinking coach, and a dance teacher. She enjoys dancing, yoga, being outside, and reading.
[17:40] Give us a background on your drinking.
Joy started drinking pretty regularly in her teenage years. There was drinking in her household so it felt like the natural thing to do. During high school there were binging and blackout moments. Before college she had a rock-climbing accident, where alcohol was involved, which resulted in her having to change her direction in college from dance to healthcare. She continued to drink heavily in college and got a DUI when she was 20.
[18:35] Whne you got that DUI was there a concern?
Joy says it was a terrifying experience. She had to spend the night in jail, in a very big correctional facility. After the DUI Joy felt like she could still continue to drink, she just needed to be smarter about it, like not drive.
In her 30s it became more apparent that her drinking was a problem. There was more morning after conversations with her husband. She tried moderating, only drinking on the weekends, but was unsuccessful.
[19:50] You mentioned that your husband commented that your drinking doesn’t make sense, can you explain that?
She says here she was, done with graduate school to be a nurse practitioner, she was a yoga teacher and really holistically health minded, but at the same time drinking heavily. She also would smoke cigarettes when she drank. It was like the two Joys didn’t compute. There was the highly functioning Joy going to her job at the hospital and teaching yoga classes, and then there was the Joy that was drinking everyday and smoking.
[22:15] Bring us up to speed, did the other shoe drop?
Joy says it did. She was 30 pounds heavier; her health was not doing well; her depression was not being treated. But Joy says it was really when she was home with her two young children and one of them asked her to hand him his toy. She asked him what one and he said, “It’s the one behind your wine glass.”. This rocked Joy’s world. It was one thing for her to be home drinking wine while taking care of her young children, it was something else that one of them knew it.
[24:35] What did you do after that?
Joy says she did what everyone thinks they have to do; she went to AA. She was 37 years old. She says she had issue with when you go to AA you have to stand up and introduce yourself and proclaim that you’re an alcoholic. At this time Joy wasn’t sure she was an alcoholic, but she knew she had to do something and AA was all she could think of. Standing up and admitting that she was an alcoholic in front of a group of strangers was cathartic for Joy. It allowed her to take the next step forward which was addressing what she was going to do next.
[27:00] What happened after that?
Joy went to AA for a little while, got a sponsor that was really helped her get through the first few weeks of being AF. But Joy wasn’t drawn to AA, she didn’t find the positivity, or forward movement, she was hoping to find.
So, Joy turned to the internet and started looking for other recovery avenues that were geared towards women. She found Woman for Sobriety, which is a different self-help program. There weren’t any meetings local to Joy so she started participating in online chat meetings. After she had a year of sobriety she applied and became a moderator of meetings for them in her town.
[30:30] What was it like going through the first couple social events alcohol free?
Joy learned that she definitely had some social anxiety, it was stressful, and she felt awkward. She says she took a lot of things off of her social calendar. She instead filled her time with other things, and instead of focusing on what she was not doing anymore she was focusing on what she was doing.
[34:20] What are some of the things that have been removed from your life since you quit drinking?
Joy says that there have been some friendships and there were some activities, such as concerts, that she gave up for a while, but has since returned to enjoying in sobriety. She has been careful with what she has allowed back into her life with her main focus now being a parent and her family.
[38:10] What are some of the themes you have encountered in the last 5 years?
The first year Joy was just dedicated on getting the moments. Year two was being OK with things as they were. Year 3 and 4 were similar to year 2, but Joy was stepping out more into experiences that may have been a little scarier, being a little more daring and finding great encouragement through those accomplishments.
[41:20] Talk to us about being a grey area drinking coach.
Joy says the grey area is the area between rock bottom and not drinking at all.
[46:50] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
Having my friends stay home with my kids while I drove myself to the hospital because I thought I had given myself pancreatitis because I drank too much.
- What is your plan moving forward?
My plan is to continue to find great connection with other women similar to me and offer them resources and tools to help them create a new life doing what they love without alcohol.
- What is your favorite resource in recovery?
Women for Sobriety and Yoga of Recovery.
- In regards to sobriety what’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
Just take a moment and breathe and know that this too shall pass.
- What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?
If you are questioning, at all, if you need to take a break then I invite you to give it 30 days.
- If listeners want to find you, do you have a website?
www.joyherbst.com http://purnimawomenshealth.com/
- You might have a drinking problem if…
You are constantly thinking about when you’re going to get your next drink.
Upcoming retreats:
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about this event here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Betterhelp
Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. For (podcast name) listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Aug 12, 2019 | Podcast
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Tiffany took her last drink on July 14, 2018. This is her story.
On today’s episode Paul talks about the DUIs he didn’t get. For those of you that may not know what a DUI is…it is Driving Under the Influence, with a BAC that is higher than .08.
Those missed DUIs, going all the way back to one in 2006, in which he was following behind a friend that was drunk behind the wheel, rolled his vehicle and passed away with a BAC of .33…were a contributing factor in Paul telling himself he didn’t have a drinking problem.
He told himself he didn’t have a drinking problem because he didn’t have any DUIs. Paul has said, ‘the only line you can cross, but cannot come back from, is death’. He hopes that Adrian’s story can help save the life of someone listening to this podcast.
SHOW NOTES
[16:05] Paul introduces Tiffany.
Tiffany is originally from Connecticut but has been in Maryland for the last 10 years. She is a property manager and a licensed captain. She is 35 years old, single and has no kids. She enjoys hiking and recently has discovered she likes to macramé, and has been doing a lot of that. DIY crafts and projects around her house bring her joy.
[18:15] Give us a background on your drinking.
Tiffany started dinking when she was in 7th grade. Drinking was the not the norm for her family or in her household growing up. It wasn’t until she was in junior high and spending more time at friends’ houses that she was exposed to drinking being the norm. Jr. high and high school was a lot of binge drinking on weekends. Towards the end of high school Tiffany was more interested in being at work, she was working at a horse farm, and partying with her friends than being at school. Work and partying became her priority and school was at the bottom of the totem pole. She says she was a big pothead and felt that she could take, or leave, alcohol.
[20:50] When did you reach the moment when you couldn’t take it, or leave it?
In 2006, when Tiffany was 21, she left everything behind and moved to New Zealand to work on a schooner. She says that is when the switch happened. Wine was everywhere. She started to think of drinking as a reward for having a hard day, rather than just something she would binge on.
[22:45] Talk to us about the years between 21 and 34.
While on the schooner they went through a bad hurricane during a voyage. Tiffany says it was terrifying, and it was at that time her drinking shifted from drinking as a reward for a hard day, to drinking to get out of her head. She says she came home from that experience different, and that it is still something she is working through.
It was at this time she was drinking to not feel her feelings, and she started to isolate rather than drink socially. In 2007 she moved to Baltimore and moved in to a neighborhood that was filled with bars, making it easy for her to drink and not be questioned.
[26:00] Get us up to speed closer to your sobriety date.
Between 2009-2012 not a lot really happened. Tiffany says her drinking stayed about the same, she was still isolating amongst her group of drinking friends. In 2014 she got into a relationship, that didn’t work out, but it was the first time she had ever heard someone refer to her as an alcoholic.
[26:45] What was it like hearing that?
Up until that time she says she had had a lot of nights that she regretted but that this was the first time she felt embarrassed. This prompted Tiffany to lean into her isolation and she let all the self-negative talk that she had for herself beat her down.
In 2017 she was so depressed and isolating that she was afraid to leave her house unless it was for work. Because she couldn’t control her drinking, she felt like she was failing in everything other than work.
[28:44] You said you knew you didn’t want to drink, but that all you knew was a life with drinking…talk to us about how that felt.
It was insanity. A snapshot of what felt like a normal day for Tiffany involved her waking up with a hangover, feeling like hell, getting herself together for work and then crying the whole way to work because she did not want to go home, because she did not want to drink again that night. Her anxiety was crippling and things just didn’t get any better. She lived like that for 3 years.
[30:20] What tipped the scales?
November 2017 Tiffany says she was at her bottom and she came across the Recovery Elevator podcast. She hit play and binge listened to the episodes for a solid 2 weeks.
[33:55] What happened between November 2017 and July 2018?
Tiffany signed up for the RE Facebook group in June 2018 and made it 30 days AF. On day 31 she walked into a store, thinking, “I got this”, and bought 5 bottles of wine and drank for 5 days. She then decided she was done, drank all the alcohol in her house, and on July 14th 2018 had her last drink.
[44:00] So you got sober outside of AA?
Tiffany says that 12 step meetings are not for her, at least not right now. She finds her peace and healing when she is outside of the rooms. Knowing that she does need to talk to people and dive into some things
she did start talk therapy.
[45:56] What’s on your bucket list?
The Asia trip is definitely being added. Tiffany says she just wants to be happy.
[47:47] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
My 18th birthday. I got so drunk I fell down the side of a mountain and my friends had to drive me home.
- When was the moment you knew you needed to quit drinking?
That is a toss up between when I heard my ex say I was an alcoholic and when I started listening to this podcast.
- What is your plan moving forward?
Keeping connection and staying social. I’m making the point to keep networking.
- What is your favorite resource in recovery?
Definitely Recovery Elevator podcast and the Café’RE group.
- In regards to sobriety what’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
That it’s ok not to have perfect day.
- What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?
If you think you have a problem you probably do.
- You might have a drinking problem if…
At the age of 15 you realize that if you only take shots, you don’t feel full, so you can drink more.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Honey
This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at www.joinhoney.com/elevator. Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you’re shopping online.
Zip Recruiter
This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Aug 5, 2019 | Podcast
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Daz took his last drink on November 5, 2018. This is his story.
This coming January Recovery Elevator is going to Thailand and Cambodia for 12 days. Space is limited. You can find more information about this event here
On today’s episode Paul discuses the double negative, not failing. If you find yourself struggling to say no, to picking up a drink, you are not failing. If you are not failing you are succeeding, accomplishing, flourishing, overcoming, conquering, thriving, winning, realizing your goal to become alcohol free.
Think about an accomplishment in your life that you are proud of. Did that come without a struggle? Most likely it did. That struggle did not represent failure. Growth is a big part of that struggle.
SHOW NOTES
[10:30] Paul introduces Daz.
Daz is 43 years old, has been married for 5 years, and has 2 beautiful little girls. He is from Vancouver Island and has lived in Vancouver for the last 17 years. For fun Daz plays guitar, writes and records a lot of music, and his latest addiction is knowledge in recovery.
[13:31] Give us a background on your drinking.
When Daz was 13 he had his first drink, and first drunk. At the age of 15 he was introduced to smoking pot which very quickly became a daily thing. An honor roll student until his senior year of high school, when other drugs were introduced, and things really started to nosedive.
Daz didn’t start drinking regularly until he was 19. It then quickly became a daily thing, helping him come out of his shell and be more social. It became a staple that stuck with him through his 20s.
Daz hit his rock bottom on April 20, 2005. He had gone through a really dysfunctional relationship and his life had completely veered off the path that he had expected. He was ready to throw in the towel on life. Daz called his parents at 2AM and told them he didn’t know what to do, that he thought he wanted to just go and finish it off. His parents got him to come home and that was his first attempt to get sober. It lasted a couple weeks, through the Christmas holidays, and he attended his first AA meetings while there.
When he got back to Vancouver things went back to the way they had been for about another year. He was struggling to get by, working in bars and drinking on the job. Found himself in legal trouble and soon couldn’t pay his rent. Daz says he was one step away from living on the street.
[19:00] That was early 2007, bridge the gap for us.
Daz entered a 2-month treatment center and says that was the beginning of him starting to stand up and dust himself off. It gave him time to think about what he was going to do with his life. He worked in the fitness industry for a couple years.
He started to slide back into drinking but had enough of a foundation at this time, and had left some of the other drugs behind, that things were starting to get on the right path.
He moved from the fitness industry into the software business and started performing music in the evenings. This gave him something to be excited about and even though he was still drinking he now felt he had a purpose.
Daz met his wife 7 years ago, 1.5 years later they had their first baby, and 2-3 years ago he went to the doctor and was told he had a fatty liver.
[21:55] What happened next?
He now has his 2nd baby and a fatty liver. His doctor told him if he didn’t stop drinking, he would be dead in 10 years. That was the motivation Daz needed. He had gone through the 12 steps of AA while in the treatment center but just never felt like that was for him. What he found was something called, Neuro Recover, which is an IV treatment where the person is hooked up to an IV for 8 hours a day, for 10 days. He says he soon realized that being sober is not just about not drinking, it’s about rebuilding your body.
After a few months Daz went back ‘out’. When he was ready to try again, he came with more of a plan and was going to include community. He did the IV treatment for 3 days.
On day 5 he was having back and leg pain, anxiety, and feeling frustrated. Daz says he was almost ready to go get alcohol. Instead of going to the store for alcohol he recalled reading that L-glutamine can help with alcohol cravings. Having some in his cupboard he drank some and says that instantly the craving was gone. Daz started attending SMART Recovery soon after.
[32:32] What are your qualms about AA?
Daz says his biggest qualm is the powerless aspect. He feels to overcome addiction you need to be empowered.
[39:16] What would you say to someone looking to get sober, that has tried AA, and is looking for something else?
Daz would suggest the SMART Recovery community, RE Café’ Facebook groups, L-glutamine. He would tell them to stay connected with people, and that diet is important.
[44:14] What are your thoughts on relapse?
Daz says he doesn’t think relapse is a bad thing, that it is just part of the process. He says people shouldn’t be too negative about it as long as you are continuing on and learning to understand yourself, the body, and how it works.
[47:41] Where does spirituality come into play on this journey?
Daz is not a religious person, per-se, but he thinks it’s really important for people to stop and look inward, and turn other things off.
[48:50] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
Driving down the road and not being able to keep his hands on the steering wheel because he was shaking so badly.
- What is your plan moving forward?
My plan moving forward is to finish my website that I have been working on, like I said, it’s EmpoweredNotPowerless.com. Continue going to SMART meetings and I have some people that I am close to and to just continue to help each other. To continue to lead by example.
- What is your favorite resource?
Get yourself some glutamine, don’t leave out the supplementation part of recovery. You’ve been killing yourself for years and your body needs to heal itself. I would also shout out Omar Pinto and the SHAIR podcast. Another book I would recommend is Addicted to the Monkey Mind.
- What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?
When it feels like it’s impossible, it’s not.
- You might have a drinking problem if…
You need to pull over on the side of the road because you can’t control your shaking.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Jul 22, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Odette, took her last drink on December 17, 2018. This is her story.
On today’s episode Paul talks about control and how it relates to the level of an addiction. The more our drinking gets out of control the more we try and control our external environments. This is the main driver why control is such an important concept to deepen with so we can become aware of the level of control we placing on the external environment.
We are left with 2 choices. Option 1 is to do nothing, and that is not what this podcast is about. That leaves us with option 2. Get ready to saddle up. Once an addiction is been acknowledged it can no longer be ignored, and it cannot be addressed without making major life changes. Changes like a new self-image, your perception, a new consciousness, your ideas and beliefs, your entire life’s foundations. That’s a lot of change, and as humans we resist change.
SHOW NOTES
[8:10] Paul introduces Odette.
Paul first chatted with Odette on episode 128, which came out on July 31st 2017, when she had 1 week of sobriety, he encourages you to go back and listen to that episode. Today, Odette hit a big milestone…she has 6 months of sobriety.
Odette is originally from Guadalajara, Mexico, but has been living in San Diego for almost 10 years. She is married and a mom to 2 toddlers, Max and Sienna. She works fulltime at WeWork. Odette loves bowling for fun, says it’s probably her favorite thing, and she will fight anyone who says that it’s not a sport. She also loves to try new teas and lately you will find her doing puzzles.
[11:50] Give us a background on your drinking.
Odette says she’s been in the recovery world for a decade. Her dad is a recovering alcoholic and he’s about to hit his 10 year, so she was first exposed to recovery through him. She likes to say that his addiction has become the biggest gift, not just to herself, but to her entire family. Odette also developed an eating disorder, which she says is her first addiction, if it has to be labeled. Odette says that although she’s been in the recovery world for a while, in terms of drinking, she thinks she falls into the ‘gray area drinker’ category. She doesn’t have a catastrophic story to tell in terms of her relationship with alcohol.
Because of this it’s been a real journey for Odette to figure out if she really belonged here or if she didn’t belong here, if she really had a problem with drinking. What really changed things for Odette was something that she keeps telling people. You don’t have to have a serious drinking problem to have a problem with drinking, and she definitely knew that she had a problem with drinking.
[16:05] In regards to alcohol and your eating disorder, what is your thoughts on addiction whack-a-mole?
Odette thinks addiction whack-a-mole is a thing and that it is really important that we become ambassadors of being graceful to ourselves. The addictions become more manageable now, not because it’s easier, but because there’s this sense of awareness. Odette says she still sometimes eats when she’s not hungry, and that things that are part of her eating disorder chapter still come up, but she is aware of it now. She realizes that she just didn’t want to feel the feelings, so she ate.
[21:43] Talk to us about the time between when you were first on the podcast until now?
Odette struggled a lot, because, she says she is a binary person, and is like a lot of others in recovery who are in that gray area. And not just with drinking but the gray area of life. She loves fitting in boxes and labeling herself, and that is something that she really been trying to detach from these last 6 months. She stopped questioning where she belonged and if she belonged and started asking herself different questions, like how she was feeling when she drank or if she was trying to cope with something. She had to get a little creative with her questions because she was getting the same results when asking the same old questions.
[26:55] Talk to us about the unknown and how you leaned into it.
The unknown is very scary for Odette. She knew, as she was stacking days this third time around, that fear was going to creep up on her. So she grounded herself with people who have really good messages around fear because she didn’t expect that fear to go away. She learned to develop a different relationship with her fear.
[34:33] Let’s talk about the concept of internal vs. external, where do you feel you are?
Odette feels like it’s shifting, and that she is discovering a lot of things. She also believes a lot of it is linked to her eating disorder because she did not have a connection with her body was feeling at all. Odette has been focusing on the internal and the physical.
[36:40] Share with us how fun it is to meet up at our retreats, like our one coming up in Bozeman next month.
Odette says she stopped calling them retreats and has started calling them “sober camp”, because they are just that much fun. Bozeman will be Odette’s 3rd retreat and says that they are such amazing fuel and that the connections and friendships she has made are now like family.
[37:50] Talk to us about a time, in the last 6 months, that it got tough and you overcame it without alcohol?
The last 3-4 months have been extremely challenging for Odette. As all the layers are coming off Odette says it feels very raw and at times very heartbreaking. She has done a lot of reconciling the last 5 months with decisions from the past. She says she is not living in the past, but reconciling with what has brought her to where she is right now.
[42:30] Talk to us about the emotion, Joy, and when it first showed up for you.
Odette used to have so many highs and so many lows it was though she was on a roller coaster. Nowadays she aims for contentment. She lets things pass her by and finds joy in the smallest things. She finds herself getting teary eyed just looking at her daughter or while listening to a song while driving. For Odette joy is found in the simple things and the quietness.
[47:05] What themes are you exploring right now in your recovery?
Intention is a big one, and not being tied to an outcome. Odette feels like she was tied to external outcomes in the beginning and she is distancing herself from that now. Also, she says she is learning to let go of control.
[51:00] Walk us through a day in your recovery.
Odette is an early riser and wakes up between 4:30-5:00 AM. Exercise is one of her biggest tools in her tool belt so she tries to get in some sort of it first thing in the morning. She does daily reading each morning and spends some quality time with her family. She goes to work, listens to a podcast or Marco Polo’s with someone, and spends her lunch outside because nature is another big tool in her tool belt. After work she is busy being mom, making dinner and lunches. She has a BBT rule…bed by ten. Her weekends are slower and way less structured.
[55:44] Rapid Fire Round
- In regards to sobriety what is the best advice you have ever received?
You can’t do this alone…but you have to be your own cheerleader.
- What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?
Trust your gut.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You burn all the ships and you still drink.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Jun 24, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Chris, with a sobriety date of February 12, 2019, shares his story.
On today’s episode Paul shares 8 strategies that you can implement when you are going through hard times.
- Everything can, and will, change.
- You’ve overcome challenges before.
- Recognize this life situation as a learning experience, AKA an opportunity.
- You may not be getting what you want, but you are getting what you need.
- Lighten up, do not take yourself to seriously.
- You can self-medicate with kindness to yourself.
- Don’t make it worse by taking on other people’s tough times.
- There is always something to be happy for.
SHOW NOTES:
[13:40] Paul introduces Chris.
Chris has been sober since February 12, 2019, and is 35 years old. He is a technology trainer for a finance company. He is divorced and has three boys, ages 15, 10, and 7. For fun Chris likes to sing and play guitar in a band, he also does improv and stand-up comedy. Since getting sober he is exercising a lot.
[14:20] When did you start drinking?
He had his first drink, tequila he had stolen from his parents, at the age of 11. He was in an AOL chat room at the time and he says it gave him liquid courage to chat freely, and he was hooked.
[16:20] Give us a more background about your drinking.
Chris’s drinking didn’t really get going until his sophomore year of high school. It ramped up quickly and he was experiencing black outs by his junior year. Chris also got his 1st, of 3, DUIs his junior year of high school. He started losing friends and girlfriends because of his drinking and by his senior year he was trying to get sober. He started college after high school and got his 2nd DUI at 19 years old. His first son was also born when Chris was 19. For the majority of his 20’s he replaced his drinking with marijuana. He married the mother of his son and they had two more. In 2013 they got divorced. Chris’s pot smoking was a big part of why they got divorced. After his divorce he went back to drinking. Within a month, at the age of 29, Chris got his 3rd DUI.
[25:58] Was there some sobriety time between 2013 and February 2019?
He had some forced sobriety time due to being on probation from his 3rd DUI. When all his legal issues were over in 2015, he went back to smoking pot and drinking, and he added taking Adderall into the mix. On February 11th he went to a family member and told them that he was taking Adderall and not as prescribed. He wanted help. The first 3 days of his sobriety he stayed with family. He also called the doctor that prescribed the Adderall and “burnt the ships”.
[33:55] What was your first month off the substances like?
It took him a few days to get his sleep schedule back to normal, but Chris says he had so much fun that the first weekend he spent with his boys off of all substances. He started to flip things around and instead of looking at sobriety as missing out on something he started looking at it as what he was gaining. He was choosing to be happy, and he was.
[40:10] What are some of the tools you’ve used these last 4 months?
He listens to recovery podcasts, like Recovery Elevator and Recovery Happy Hour. The online support group and forum is always there. Chris also reads a lot of self-help books.
[43:00] What advice would you give to your younger self?
He would tell himself to love himself more and that he is worth more than he thinks, but he also feels like he needed to go through all the things he went though to get to where he is now.
[44:45] Do you know why you were using substances?
Chris says that his internal self didn’t feel good enough, and to hide those feelings he used.
[45:50] What have you learned about yourself, along the way, that stands out?
Chris leaned that he can change, that he is capable of positive change.
[47:00] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
Getting so drunk at a neighbor’s house that his kids had to go home to their mother’s house and having to call the next morning, realizing his drinking was affecting his kids.
- What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward?
To keep moving and not get comfortable.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
If you think you have an issue then you probably do, try quitting for 30 days. You can do it.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You’re listening to this podcast. Also, if you’re shopping for fancy craft beer and you have to look at the alcohol by volume percentage of each beer, before you buy it. And if you don’t find the alcohol by volume you break out your phone and google it, because anything under 5% would not be worth the can allowance.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
BetterHelp
Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
