052: 10 Value Bombs After 1 Year of Podcasting

by Paul Churchill | Feb 15, 2016 | Podcast

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What I learned in 1 year of podcast is remarkable. It will help me stay sober and I want to thank everyone who has been a part of Recovery Elevator. I really hope you enjoy this summary because I had a great year compiling them.

Value Bombs

What I learned from a year of podcasting about my sobriety.

By Paul Churchill (with Elliot P.)

Podcasting about your sobriety isn’t exactly the best way to stay anonymous.   However, after years of struggling to stay sober I was willing to try anything and nothing seemed more powerful than the accountability I’d create by checking in with “the world” every week.   So I bought a few simple pieces of recording equipment, signed up for a podcasting service and started talking.  I was terrified to release the first episode – it felt like I was jumping off a cliff.  I knew my life would never be the same.   I was right.

This year has been the best year of my life but strangely, also the hardest.   I know what you are thinking, “of course it was the hardest as getting sober isn’t easy” and you’d be right.  But there is something especially terrifying about getting sober in front of anyone who wants to watch.  I’ve been told that some people thought my podcast would be a train wreck and they were listening for entertainment value.   Luckily, so far, I have beaten the odds and probably made this pretty boring for my macabre listeners.   My goal is to make this podcast as boring as possible for this demographic of my audience!  How is that for a podcasting goal?  Really though, I think we have had a lot of fun this year and I’m all for the suspense each week as I sign in, once again, still sober.   If I can do it, maybe some of my listeners realize that they can too.

Now I don’t claim to be very smart but the most unexpected part of this journey has been meeting hundreds of listeners who can relate to my story.   I honestly felt like I was the only one who suffered exactly like I did.   It turns out that alcoholism is ironically a communal disease where everyone afflicted feels isolated.  Part of the solution involves finding like-minded people who you can get honest with.  Little did I know, just by talking openly into the microphone, this group of like-minded people would come to me.   Listenership has grown beyond my wildest dreams.  I love you guys.

I’ve been asked what have been the most impactful lessons I’ve learned over this year of podcasting.   The beauty of listening to the stories of those I’ve interviewed is that everyone can relate to the stories differently depending upon their place in their sobriety journey.  Below is a list highlighting ideas that have meant the most to me:

1. Avoid isolation like the plague:

One of the single biggest differences between “drunk Paul” and “sober Paul” is my sense of community.   By getting honest with this podcast, my chances of long-term sobriety have significantly increased!  As Russell Crow says in The Gladiator, “Whatever comes out of those doors, we have a better chance of survival if we stick together.”

2. Accountability:

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was creating accountability by taking the following actions when trying to get sober:

1. I sent a text message to my fantasy football league about how my drinking is more serious that they knew.
2. I told my parents and brother while we were on vacation together that I was an alcoholic.
3. I started a podcast and told anyone in the world who wanted to listen. Okay, this one was a little extreme!

My sobriety date (9/7/14) was shortly after the first two accountability measures were taken. Coincidence? I think not.

If you haven’t told someone about your drinking yet, do so!  Letting the cat out of the bag is so hard but it is so liberating!   Telling someone pushes you past the point of no return – and only then are you really on the journey.

3. Conduits:

What, you need a higher power to get sober?  That is a sticky and messy topic.  I’ve learned that there really is no need for all the emotion and debate surrounding one’s belief in something more powerful than one’s self.

I’ve learned to look at it like this:  See the highway, not the cars.  See the river, not the water.  See the trees swaying, not the wind.  See the power lines, not the power.

By focusing on the pathway and not the source – we worry less about understanding and yet we find harmony in knowing that we are not the ones in control.   Then, and only then, is it so much easier to find peace in this crazy process called recovery.   I’m not the source but maybe I can be the pathway.  Clarity comes when my glaze rises above the mess.

4. Affirmations:

With every passing day, I run the risk of getting so far away from my last drink that I forget about the misery it caused and I could then trick myself into having “just one.”  It’s so tempting to be so enthralled with my new life that I could forget my past.

Once I got sober, I’ve found ways to constantly affirm a few simple truths.  Meetings, conversations over coffee, podcasting, and repeated phrases are all ways for me to remember.  For me, these truths are:

• My body processes alcohol differently than others and thus I choose not to drink.
• I’m either moving forward or backward in sobriety and I choose to move forward.
• Helping others is the best way to help myself.

5. Honesty:

The truth is that honesty is pretty darn important.  And liberating.

6. Anonymity:

How can I say anonymity is important when I’m clearly not anonymous about my recovery on the Recovery Elevator podcast?  Good question!   Let me explain….

Anonymity is a coin with two sides.  One side is what probably 99% of the world would think of when then think of 12 step groups.  It’s the idea that “who you see here, and what you hear here, stays here.”  These groups need to be a safe landing pad for newcomers and a place where people know it is safe to talk freely.   Anonymity also keeps the group focused on certain principles and not on personalities.   Principles are timeless and personalities can be fickle.  These groups need to stay anonymous.

The only problem with this concept is that people often take it too far and use it as an excuse to fiercely stay private about their reasons for not drinking.  This secrecy perpetuates the shame, stigma and loneliness associated with alcoholism.   Those still struggling are never able to learn that many people around them also struggle.  It is such a shame because there are few things that can bring people together in this world like a common problem!  Imagine the empathy we could feel and help we could be if we knew what others around us were truly struggling with.   And this brings me to the other side of the coin…

I believe there are absolutely times NOT to be anonymous.   Growth happens outside of your comfort zone.   A great way to grow in sobriety is to start sharing your story with others.   Maybe you start with your significant other and then move to close family, and then expand to your trusted friends.   Not only does growth happens with each layer of people we tell, so does our ability to be of service to someone else who may be struggling.

7. Acceptance:

Acceptance is the answer.

Acceptance is the answer.

Acceptance is the answer.

Our efforts are futile until we accept that we are powerless over alcohol.   Our life won’t be truly happy until we accept that every person, place or thing is exactly the way it is meant to be in this moment.   It is then, that I’m reminded that I don’t need to change the world; I just need the courage to change myself.  It’s with this acceptance that the journey begins and it’s with this acceptance that living peacefully is possible.

I love a quote from Pam, an interviewee, “you must go through it to get to it.”  By accepting life as it comes, we are then able to achieve true happiness.

8. Recovery network:

One must have a network of other sober individuals who they can do life with.  This disease is communal and within five minutes of being around another alcoholic, relief seems to always come.   The network grows and changes over time but it almost always consists of people who can help you, people who you can help and friends you naturally don’t want to let down.   Remember, there are few things that bring people together as powerfully as a common struggle.

9. The Journey:

Recovery, like life, is a journey.  It’s a darn hard, often ugly, unending journey.  It’s a journey we didn’t start out in life wanting and it’s a journey we only really end when we die.   But I think too many of us subconsciously think the goal of sobriety is to simply not to drink from now until we die.  Yes, that is definitely an important goal but what good is that if we still live miserably.   The trick is to find ways to be both sober and happy.

I also think too many of us subconsciously do just enough work in sobriety to stay sober.  Thus, its like we walk the path of happy destiny as slowly as possible.  I’m not judging here because we all are on our own path.   In this year of interviewing people for the podcast, I have found that the people who seem the happiest in sobriety are the ones who aren’t afraid to put a little skip in their step down this path of sobriety.

10. Helping others:

            I know the term “helping others” sounds so cliché!  It’s also the last thing anyone new in sobriety wants to hear.  Maybe that is why I’m putting it last.  Maybe that is also why helping others doesn’t show up until the very last of the 12 steps.    Regardless, there does seem to be some magic in that helping others really does end up helping ourselves.  I think maybe we can call it sobriety karma.  Yes, let’s call it sobriety karma.  I like that.

I really look forward to what this next year has in store for my sobriety and for the Recovery Elevator podcast.  It’s a journey I’m walking with you all and it’s a journey that widens with the addition of each of your voices.   Thanks for being here and thanks for listening!

You took the elevator down but you need to take the stairs back up.  You can do this!

Recovery Elevates,

Paul

Be sure to join the Recovery Elevator Private Accountability Facebook Group.

Be sure to expand your recovery network in and Seattle on February 27th and San Francisco on March 5th.

046: Sobriety in the New Year and Resolutions

by Paul Churchill | Jan 4, 2016 | Podcast

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Are New Years resolutions really a good thing? In my opinion, if there is anything in life really worth changing, then waiting till a certain day to make that change seems silly to me. However, if the spirit of the New Year is to create goals and accountability, then I am all for it.

My new years resolution is to quit the gym. I know that sounds really strange but I have gotten way to comfortable with my routine at the gym to the point where I am in the center of my comfort zone circle. Last night I cancelled my gym membership and will be making an effort to to outdoor activities with my dog and use my own body weight for resistance. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Here is an outline of what is discussed in today

1)  For people thinking of making “stop drinking” a new years resolution:

Resolutions are good and its a great time to start something new.   However, alcoholics are experts at making promises (even to ourselves) and then letting ourselves down.

There are thousands of self help books on reaching goals (i.e. tony robbins) but a true alcohol problem requires more than will power and knowledge.

I think we have all made the resolution to stop drinking on new years day – and that is good! But when dealing with addiction, the day doesn’t have much power than the other 364 days a year if we don’t take a few steps to get us on the path to sobriety.

If this is you, I encourage you to save yourself a lot of grief and supplement this resolution with some action such as: attending a meeting (maybe your resolution includes attending at least one meeting a week for a year), telling someone close to you, and maybe even join our private Facebook accountability page and post to the group introducing yourself.  Its a lot easier to quit drinking when you are part of a community that cares about you.

2) For people well on their way in sobriety that are making new resolutions:

We are experts at making promises and failing.  We are also experts and trying to do things our own way, only to find ourselves humbled as we constantly “bang our head on a wall” hoping the outcome will somehow “be different this time.”   I almost want to save myself (and all of you) the agony of defeat by just skipping resolutions this year.   However, not trying something is way worse than not trying and failing!    What if we tried something and we actually succeeded!

Sobriety can be so fragile in the beginning.  Maybe skipping resolutions and just “working your program” is the right move.  Without sobriety nothing else in life really matters.

However, if you are at a point in your recovery where your program is working and you still have some energy to spare.  Improving other areas of your life can actually strengthen your sobriety.

The key then, is to skip the standard mode of operation (make a big promise and use willpower to try and fulfill it) and instead use some of the tools we have learned in recovery to help turbo charge our progress.

A few ideas:

What tools  in your “recovery portfolio” can help you achieve your goals.

Is the resolution necessary and realistic?

Example:  quit all sugar vs quit processed sugar.   Necessary because regulating or moderating has produced nothing but failure.

Is it measurable:

Lose weight vs, loose 5 lbs every 3 months for a total of 20 pounds in the year.

Can you vision yourself and what it will be like when you achieve the resolution?

How good will you feel!  Weight loss and how you will look?  Pride from being successful.

What are you doing to hold yourself accountable?

Telling others, scheduled review times, public posting?

Have you laid out the steps necessary to get there?

i.e.  learn to fly…. what steps does that take?

This is all good and can really improve our health, happiness and thus sobriety.  One thing is for sure, achieving lofty goals were probably not possible when we were drinking!  Its okay, its more than okay – its so powerful to do awesome things in sobriety!   New years is a good time to expand upon our sobriety by really living.   Improving our lives through by achieving resolutions another way we can express gratitude for our sobriety.

You might be an alcoholic if:

• You might be an alcoholic if you get arrested for trying to pump your own gas at a closed gas station while your friend is taking a leak outside your car. -Rob

• You might be an alcoholic if you teach your kids how to play beer pong, but you are the only one that drinks every cup. -Rob

• You might be an alcoholic if you go on vacation in the first thing you do is locate the nearest liquor store. -Chris H
• You might be an alcoholic if you have to replace your debit card once every few weeks, because you black out and lose it on a regular basis. -Amber O.
• You might be an alcoholic if you have to buy a replacement bottle of wine for special occasions because you drink it before the event. -James M
• You might be an alcoholic if you are upset by facebook ads relating to alcohol. -Meg
• You might be an alcoholic if the remedy (alcohol) has become the ailment. -Dee M.

This is huge Recovery Elevator. The first Recovery Elevator meetup will be taking place in Seattle on Saturday February 27th, 2016. Details to come. Email info@recoveryelevator.com for more info on this meetup.

This podcast was brought to you by Sober Nation.

043: 63 Ways to Stay Sober Over the Holidays

by Paul Churchill | Dec 14, 2015 | Podcast

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In this Episode Shannon, who is a high bottom drunk explains how she made it to nearly 80 days sober. She mentions she loves Karaoke and you can check out Jimmy Cliff’s “I Can See Clearly Now” on YouTube because that’s how we both feel these days!

While listening to the Bubble Hour Podcast a few weeks ago on my drive home for Thanksgiving, I heard some great ideas on how to stay sober over the Holidays. One of the segments was how to respond when someone offers you a drink at a Holiday party. I heard from great responses, but none of the answers were the truth. What I have learned in recovery, is the best answer is the truth. The truth is liberating and you will be surprised by the lack of questions you will get after telling someone you don’t drink. Most people are happy for you, and encourage your decision to not drink. A small percentage will give you flack, and this is a great way to quickly find out who are not your friends. Another small group will become inquisitive and start asking questions like, how much did you used to drink? Or, why are you not drinking? These people are asking for themselves because they have been questioning their own drinking habit.

But here are 77 additional tips on how to stay sober over the Holidays. I do not claim for this to be a full and comprehensive list, and with certainty, I can predict leaving out some very important ones. But here ya go.

63 ways to stay sober over the Holidays

1. Hang out with another alcoholic: That guy Bill was on to something there.
2. Dedicate 5 minutes today, 10 minutes tomorrow, 15 minutes the next day and increase by five minutes each day on a dormant hobby that you used to love so much. This could be the guitar, model trains, knitting, or swimming. Endless possibility of fun things to do.
3. Find conduits to your higher power: Forest, Snow, Trans Siberian Orchestra in a Starbucks coffee shop, painting and so much more.
4. Music: Listen to music. Have you heard flamenco? It’s incredible.
5. Write a letter to a friend. Not an email, but place a stamp on an envelope and send it out.
6. Write down 5 things you are thankful for each day. My first sponsor requested this of me, and after 16 days, I had 8 things listed in my gratitude list. Not because I wasn’t thankful for things in life, but because sometimes these small, seemingly infinitesimal tasks were very had.
7. Have a sit down chat with your addiction: Hey Gary, as you know the Holidays are approaching…
8. Call a family member that isn’t immediate family and tell them how much you appreciate them. This could be a cousin, uncle, etc.
9. When in a drive through (preferably not fast food), pay for the person behind you.
10. Cartwheels: 94% of cartwheels result in laughter and a great time. The other 6% are broken coffee tables.
11. Go to a 12-step meeting.
12. Buy paint, a canvas, and start painting
13. Go on a 3-mile walk/hike where there is no cell service. Or make it a point to leave your phone at home.
14. Write down the goal of not drinking over the holidays. And then place this goal in a place you will see everyday like on your bathroom mirror or inside your gym locker (if you work out everyday).
15. Volunteer your time at the animal shelter and walk some dogs. In Montana, you may even be able to walk a pig or goat. Dogs are service animals for a reason. Their company is therapeutic and they also don’t judge. You’re simply the “bees knees” since your taking them on a walk.
16. Affirmation: Remind yourself daily that you will not be drinking because you have an allergy to alcohol.
17. Read a book. More specifically, “A Drinking Story” by Caroline Knapp
18. When someone asks if you want a drink at his or her Christmas Party, you respond with “is your snowmobile insured”?
19. Stay a minimum of 300 feet away from Burger King, McDonalds, Arby’s Wendy’s and other fast food chains at all times. Actually the chili at Wendy’s is okay. But that’s it!
20. Pray
21. Say the serenity prayer out loud while looking into the mirror.
22. Learn the serenity prayer in a different language.
23. Make it a point to get outside of your comfort zone.
24. Be okay with uncomfortable feelings. Take 10 minutes and feel your uncomfortable feelings. Embrace them.
25. Get REal with yourself.
26. Hot tea. Hot Tea Hot Tea. Tea that is not injected full of caffeine if possible.
27. Listen to recovery podcasts.
28. Read: Read and be a sponge.
29. Go through your cabinets and remove anything with over 10grams of sugar on the carton. Also look for bags of sugar, powdered sugar, and stashes of Reece’s pieces.
30. Cook brussel sprouts
31. When someone asks if you would like a drink at his or her holiday party, tell them you don’t drink.
32. When that person asks why you don’t drink, answer their question unequivocally.
33. Ask siri to set the timer to 5 minutes. For the first minute, while in a calm still place, sit down, keep your eyes and just focus on sounds. Minute two, breath in for 5 seconds, and exhale for five seconds. Minutes three, close eyes and tell yourself what you are thankful for. Minute four, pump yourself up with affirmations like Paul Churchill, today we will something great and minute five, envision what you want your life to be like in 1 week, 1 month, 1 year, 5 years and 10 years.
34. Write down your goals. 95% of people don’t write down their goals and 95% of or people, who write down their goals, achieve their goals. Think that one through.
35. Wake up before the sun comes up fro five consecutive days.
36. Put your alarm clock on the other side of the room so you physically have to get out of the bed.
37. Write down who your recovery team is. This doesn’t matter if you are drunk now, or have 10 years of sobriety. Be clear with who is on your team in case of emergency. Have the baby bag packed by the door.
38. Avoid self-loathing: in other words, don’t kick the crap out of yourself over your drinking. Alcohol does a fine job of this already.
39. Get to know your addiction. My addiction is named Gary, and I fully respect him.
40. Whoever or what ever that God thing is, just remember, you’re not it.
41. Find a way to create accountability. Tell someone you are planning to quit drinking, or this Christmas you plan to have less than ten eggnogs.
42. Don’t judge yourself. Be truly accepting of who you are.
43. Call your sponsor and if you don’t have one, get one.
44. Acceptance is the answer. My favorite paragraph in the Big Book. Find a way to accept your current situation.
45. Get creative: Create something with clay, pick up a new instrument, use your mind to create something.
46. Learn a new skill or task. You tube is a great way to learn new things.
47. Remove temptations: There are the obvious ones like that bottle of Tequila in your pantry, but get rid of all the maple syrup in the house while you’re at it.
48. Have an exit strategy at outings.
49. Give up control.
50. Hang out with that group of friends who implausibly seem to be enjoying themselves without alcohol.
51. De-friend 5 negative or non-supportive friends on Facebook.
52. Write goals down: Don’t drink today, build a fence, or write a book.
53. Celebrate: Milestones are huge.
54. Get back up on your feet.
55. Reward yourself with a treat: The treat shouldn’t be booze or consist of more than 92% sugar.
56. Stay busy.
57. Remind yourself the last 256 times you planned to only have a couple beers tonight, didn’t end up as planned.
58. Netflix, HBO, and Hulu
59. Learn a new recipe. One that doesn’t need maple syrup to make it delicious.
60. Check out some animals in their natural environment.
61. Go Carts.
62. Do the steps.
63. Remind yourself, it was my brilliant ideas that got me into this predicament (if you’re in a predicament) so maybe I don’t have all the answers.

This is huge Recovery Elevator. The first Recovery Elevator meetup will be taking place in Seattle on Saturday February 27th, 2016. Details to come. Email info@recoveryelevator.com for more info on this meetup.

This podcast was brought to you by Sober Nation.