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When we are in the throws of an addiction to alcohol, the effects go beyond just us. They affect our family and those closest to us.
After running the podcast for 3 years, Paul has begun to notice patterns emerging. One of the biggest patterns he noticed might be the key to successful sobriety: Accountability. Getting sober can be daunting, and the people around you are owed an explanation. The act of saying it out loud not only makes it real, but makes others aware of what you are trying to achieve. They can help keep you on track when things get difficult, and if your drinking has hurt anyone else in the past, it can be the first step towards forgiveness.
Telling the people in your life that you are trying to get and stay sober is probably the most important thing you can do to affect your chances of success.
Amy, with 422 days since her last drink, shares her story…
SHOW NOTES
[9:30] Paul Introduces Amy.
Amy is 33 years old, from Wisconsin, married with 3 kids. She works in human resources in healthcare, but is about to leave her job and focus on her family full time. She likes yoga, and the outdoors.
[12:00] What are your plans now that you are sober?
She wants to get more involved in her community.
[13:00] When did you realize it was time to quit drinking?
She was having a hard time moderating, was losing control.
[13:33] What rules did you have in place during your moderating phase?
She and her husband tried only drinking on weekends, only when at restaurants, only certain kinds of drinks, only on payday, etc. It didn’t work.
[16:30] Is your husband supportive of your decision to get sober?
Yes. He helps by not drinking around her and by keeping alcohol out of the house.
[17:07] When did you start drinking?
In high school. It got out of control in college. She adopted a party girl personality. She was drinking 4 beers a night. It progressed into a problem once she went through her first divorce. She felt hopeless and used alcohol to cope.
[21:57] How did you decide to quit?
She was drinking daily, feeling terrible. Some good things began to happen and she felt that it lifted her out of her funk. She got a new job, which enabled her to pay down her debt and she started taking care of herself again. She fell in love. The drinking was still crazy and she couldn’t control it. She tried to take a break, but it wouldn’t work. She was writing a lot in her journal, then went on an 8-day binge. She woke up from that and had hit rock bottom. She decided to quit on that day.. the difference was that she was ready to accept her situation.
[27:30] What was it like to reach the point of acceptance?
It was liberating. Acceptance brought self forgiveness, which enabled her to start moving forward in a new way.
[31:30] How did you do it? How did you quit?
She started to binge listen to recovery podcasts, she read This Naked Mind. She focused on being kind to herself. She reached out to sober friends and family. Connecting with close relatives and friends helped boost her confidence. They helped her get through the first few weeks. She began to see the bigger consequences of drinking on her health, career, relationships. Her husband supported her fully.
[34:37] At what point did you begin to see the benefits?
Day 2. The first few weeks there were headaches, sleep issues, etc. She experienced the pink cloud. She found out she was pregnant the month she quit drinking. She started looking at the bigger picture. She experienced normal activities as a sober person and was amazed at the difference.
[39:46] What’s on your bucket list?
She’s excited to be a stay-at-home mother soon. Many of her friends are reaching out to her in support of her sobriety.
[42:33] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking?Going to a concert and getting drunk, getting into a fight and walking around completely blacked out.
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment?She woke up one day with a damaged car but didn’t remember what caused it.
- What’s your plan moving forward?To really stay active in her community. To focus on her family. To meditate more. To exercise. Hang out with the family. Reading in the evening to wind down.
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery?
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)?Put your sobriety first. Before kids, marriage, career.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking?Educate yourself about alcoholism. The truth will give you the confidence to go forward knowing what you have to do. Life is too short to be drunk.
- You might be an alcoholic if…You fear being a stay at home because you assume you will be drunk the whole time.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
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This Naked Mind – A book by Annie Grace
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts – A book by Gabor Maté
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“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
