RE 337: The Canary in the Mine

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Episode 337 – The canary in the mine.

I was open with people about my decision. I put myself out there to create a level of accountability.

Today we have Katie. She is 38, from Ohio and took her last drink July 12, 2020. This is her story of living Alcohol Free (AF).

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Paul’s Intro

Native cultures believed that a sick person is like the canary in the mine and it’s the sick person who represents an imbalance in the community. Or that something is off. They also believed this person should be thanked for raising the alarm that something needs to be corrected within a community. Almost like, yo, thank you for taking one for the team.

So Contrary to today’s culture where mental illness, autoimmune disorders, and addictions are prevalent and on the rise, these environmental conditions were rare in most cultures prior to modern times. So this is what native cultures did when there was a sick canary in the community. The whole tribe came together to help this person because they knew they were all connected, that they were all one. The entire community would shoulder the cost to bring in healers from other tribes. All these ceremonies were different of course, but from I can deduce the two main commonalities were this: Music and dancing. For at least 3-4 days.

Okay, let’s tie this into alcohol. It’s in my opinion those who struggle with a drinking problem are the canaries in the mines. Side note, I was the canary in the mine in the Canary islands. I went to this set of islands located off the northwest coast of Africa in 2007 and was drunk and hungover for the whole trip. I don’t remember much from that trip, but I recall popcorn being my lifeline one afternoon because that’s all I could. That’s how hungover I was. And fun facts about Canaries, yes they do come from the Canary islands. They have yellow feathers, and occasionally eat jalapeños. Fun fact about Paul. I also occasionally eat jalapeños. We are covering some ground today team.

So in 2021, there have never been more sick canaries, and if we don’t ALL address this, then we’re toast as a species.

When I say we ALL need to address this, I mean problematic and normal drinkers. As in addiction/mental health is an external manifestation that something is highly out of balance internally with our species. This imbalance affects everyone. This is okay, it’s how we grow and evolve.

The good news is…. The Canary can heal. It will heal. You, if you’re listening to this podcast in hopes of quitting drinking, are the canary, and you will heal, just keep at it.

So how does the canary heal? I firmly believe there is no select methodology, or doctrine to follow. There is no right or wrong way to ditch the booze. There are infinite ways… But, there is one massive commonality.

Ditching the booze in 21st century doesn’t quite look like 3 full nights of ceremonial dancing under a full moon with the whole community anymore, but there are similarities.

Let’s first check out what you don’t hear when someone celebrates and alcohol-free milestone.

“Well, guys, I knew I was “fucked” so I locked myself in my room, read every quit lit book, listened to podcasts, learned how the mind works, and beat it.” I’ve yet to hear that one. Nothing even close.

What you do hear is, “I’d like to thank my best friend susan, my mom and dad, my AF community, my dog, the big oak tree in my back yard (That’s an HP reference), and all my friends who were in my corner the whole time.” Or “I couldn’t have done it without… Mike, Jim, Michelle Javier and my pet canary ralph.” Okay, I think that’s the last canary reference.

So, what does this mean? Let’s get to the point. 1. You can’t do this alone, and 2. You need community. This could be a close group or friends who know your desire to quit drinking, AA, Café RE, counselors etc. Ships need to be burned, or conversations with loved ones need to take place. Accountability is desperately needed. Even if you’re not, and I’m using air quotes, “successful” with your decision to quit drinking, you’re still developing tighter bonds and relationships in your life. According to Sebastian Junger, in his Book “Tribe” in times of crisis, people are wired to come together and help. This isn’t a kind gesture from our friends, and family, or even completely strangers; it’s biologically how we are wired. As I discussed in last episode, dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin are released when we help others. So when a drinking problem reaches a pinnacle moment, and I’d classify this as a crisis as it was for me in 2014, the people around us want to help. They need to help, it’s good for them. They need these feel good chemicals also. Denying the loved ones in your life the opportunity to help you, is doing them a disservice.

So if you’re ready to get off the merry round of hell, aka a drinking problem, two main things needs to happen. 1. You need to ask for help, 2. Receive the help. Most likely both are outside your comfort zone, and that’s how it’s supposed to be. Let the drinking problem push you into connection. I feel that’s the main point of an addiction. Yes, addiction, or drinking problem serves a purpose. Everything does. That’s the topic of 339. Does addiction serve a purpose? We must first become aware of the addiction. This is the first step in I think every program involving steps, and then, open up. Yes, open up. The addiction is trying to crack you open. To find a spot where the light can enter, if you allow it.

Let’s hear from Exact Nature.

[8:42] Odette welcomes Katie

Katie took her last drink July 12, 2020. She is excited about her one-year milestone and she feels free of the prison on alcohol. She is going sky-diving to celebrate. Katie said life is still hard, but she has freedom and clarity of mind without drinking. Katie is 38 and lives in NE Ohio. She has two sons. She is an executive assistant to a CEO for a large company. She loves all things fitness and reading.

[52:17] Rapid Fire Round

What is your favorite non-alcoholic beverage?

Sparkling water (lime flavor) with lots of ice and mint.

What has been an unexpected perk along this journey?

Freedom and time that come with not planning how you will get your next drink.

What would you say to young people who are considering ditching the booze?

Don’t overcomplicate it, drinking is overrated. You have more strength than you realize. Everything in life you want to accomplish will be easier without liquor. Having a clear head, mind and a simple life without the alcohol will be the beautiful things in your life.

You might need to say adios to booze if ….

You stress months before the Christmas holiday about how you will cook the holiday meal and not drink all the wine in the house the night before.

Odette’s Summary

Very well, team RE, that wraps our interview for today. Before I say adios I want to share something with you all. I asked all of YOU on our instagram a question that I normally ask in our podcast interview and I got some amazing responses. The prompt was: What would you say to your younger self?

Here is what some of you had to say:

Live for yourself. No amount of alcohol will make him see you.
You are beautiful.
Don’t be afraid to show your true self.
You are loved, you are worth it.
You don’t have to be “THEM”
You are enough. It only matters what you think of yourself.
Drugs and alcohol don’t make you cool, being a good person does.
It’s ok to fail.
Learn to love yourself.
Being the wild party girl is not all its cracked up to be.
You are going to make mistakes. It’s inevitable. Handling the stress of it all will only be magnified a thousand if you drink about it.
I love you.
It wan’t your fault.
I see you and I am sorry you are hurting.
See yourself, hold yourself at a high value.
What you are chasing has been in your heart the whole time, not a bottle.
Everything you think alcohol is helping you achieve is false. You are being held back. You can accomplish so much more sober.
You are none of the things you say to yourself in your head.
Be as kind to yourself as you are to others.
You are allowed to feel the way you do and you don’t have to hide it to please those around you.
Let your hair grow long, let your laugh grow loud.
Take your intuition seriously.

WOW. What a list.

Remember that you are not alone, and together, is always better.

Recovery elevator, you deserve love, acceptance and belonging. We can do this.

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BetterHelp

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