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Episode 516 – The Source of Pain
Today we have Hattie. She is 34 years old from South London, UK, and she took her last drink on April 25th, 2021.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off your first month
Sober Link – get a promo code for $50 off of the device.
Registration is open for Recovery Elevator’s first ever Men’s Retreat will be April 5th through the 12th in Costa Rica. We’ve got space for 12 guys.
Café RE is THE social app for sober people. If you are struggling to meet people who no longer drink alcohol, then this community app is for you. Yes, it is mostly online, but we’ve got a bunch of in-person meetups on the calendar.
[03:57] Thoughts from Paul:
Ask the Magic 8 Ball “is alcohol the primary source of my pain?” and the responses will be “it is certain” “it is decidedly so” “without a doubt” and “yes, definitely”.
Of course, alcohol is causing the pain. It’s the most destructive and addictive substance on the planet and for some strange reason it’s still in our face daily with advertising everywhere.
You want to start viewing alcohol similarly to how you would look at a moldy, half-eaten hoagie sandwich on a park bench: you wouldn’t touch that sandwich, let alone eat it. The tricky part is that our addiction lies to us in our own voice and do it’s best to convince you that alcohol is the source of relief rather than pain. Which it can be at first, but inevitably that doesn’t last long.
But your life is not over when you quit drinking. A better chapter is just beginning.
[09:24] Paul introduces Hattie:
Hattie grew up in a place called New Forest where there are wild ponies and pigs. She now lives in London with her husband and two young children. Hattie works in sustainability and also has set up Sober Happy Free on Instagram and TikTok sharing her story around sobriety.
Hattie says she took her first drink at 14. Her alcohol seeking behavior began quickly thereafter. She says alcohol helped her with confidence and feeling comfortable with herself. Drinking was more of a need than a want, she says. She says at this age it was easy to consider the drinking normal but knew that drinking alone or secretly would be a problem.
When Hattie was around 26, she was introduced to cocaine which allowed her to drink more and drink longer. Hattie says she did not have any authentic connections with people at this time. There was not a corner of her life that alcohol didn’t touch.
Even once getting pregnant, which she and her husband were trying to do, she looked at the test and wondered “how on earth am I not going to drink?” Hattie made it through the pregnancy but was drinking as soon as she could after and says she was right back where she started.
Seeing a lot of people talking about Dry January online inspired Hattie to give it a try. She continued after the month ended, but never planned to quit entirely and was planning dates that she would allow herself to drink. Hattie got a sobriety coach and ended up not drinking for four months. The day that she decided to have a drink, she found herself on the phone with a friend who was in AA saying she couldn’t do it anymore.
Hattie joined AA and found community. She still stays involved in it now at over three years sober. She has a sponsor, and they worked through the 12 steps together. Hattie’s advice around AA is to go into it with an open mind.
For Hattie, year one was about changing her lifestyle. Year two was more about discovery as she tried new hobbies and experiences. Hattie says year three has been about giving back to the community by way of chairing meetings and starting her sober social media accounts. She is passionate about breaking the stigma of alcohol abuse.
Hattie’s parting piece of guidance: If alcohol is dominating your life or playing a negative role in it, the best thing you can do is get sober.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down, you’ve gotta take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
