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That’s right, I’m breaking up with the word alcoholic and opting for a simpler less defining answer of I don’t drink.
The idea for this episode came from reading an article written by Meghan Ralston, “I’m Breaking Up With the Word ‘Addict’ and I Hope You’ll Do the Same,” about why she’s breaking up with the word addict… After reading the article I also learned to break up with the word: recovering alcoholic. I hope you like the show notes. As you can probably tell, I’ve had some recent help with show notes since mine leave much to still be desired.
For some reason, when we hear the word alcoholic or addict, it is totally okay for us to accept that person’s description with just that one word… Rarely, do we then ask about his/her job, hobbies, interests, etc… Can you think of any other disease where we describe the person with only the name of the disease?
The words “addict,” “alcoholic,” and “recovering alcoholic,” usually just stop the conversation. I’ve said since Episode 1 that I won’t let the word alcoholic define me. Point being, I’m a person, and sobriety is one of my crown achievements in life. I’m always going to be very proud of the days I am sober.
We need to find a new language or a new way to talk about ourselves. We may need to throw out all of the words we are currently using to describe an alcoholic, an addict or a recovering alcoholic and start anew to open new conversation, new possibilities, and new ideas.
SHOW NOTES
[ 4:56 ] – Paul Introduces Paul
Paul, how long have you been sober?
“18 months and 20 some days sober – both from drinking alcohol and marijuana…”
Paul’s Background – Paul lives just outside of Denver and works with his father in the management of commercial investments. Paul has many interests, including, philosophy, web development, audio engineering and music. Paul’s favorite past time is raising his 6 year old daughter.
[ 7:11 ] – Paul speaks about how the legalization of marijuana in Colorado actually led him to wanting to quit using but he would still drink and then that would trigger a mad desire to smoke. Paul comments, “It’s the ultimate, #1, gateway drug,” (speaking about alcohol), “It just got tiring.” For Paul, sober means no mind-altering drugs whatsoever.
When did you hit your Elevator?
Paul was in a very stressful, failing marriage, a failing business and was under intense pressure. On top of that he was drinking and smoking like a madman. “I had a wild temper. I was not handling my stress well at all, but I just didn’t know how to get out of it. Even if I wasn’t drunk, I would be stoned all the time. Personally, my moods are all over the map. It was totally outrageous…,” says Paul. “I’ve found so much more peace in sobriety.”
[ 14:55 ] “I want to get a year sober, just to see how I feel, because I’ve spent my whole adult life WAAAAYYY overindulging…” Going back and forth is a really nasty yo-yo…
[ 16:04 ] Paul on his his raging 30s… “I was drunk like every single day. I had an $1100 bar tab!” Addiction creeps up on you when you become overindulgent… “I put myself in social situations and over indulged every single time, going to Happy Hour 4x per week and drinking heavily. It takes a toll on the body, the mind, the organs, and your mood.”
[ 19:01 ] Don’t define what “type” of alcoholic you are…
[ 19:36 ] What was it like when you quit? Quit drinking and quit smoking. Paul was so tired of experiencing another emotional low… He was ready for something new. “We are missing out on emotional maturing and development when we’re always getting drunk or stoned or whatever your drug is. You’re running away from problems, numbing yourself.”
Sobriety is the path to emotional maturity.
[ 21:52 ] How did you do IT? Exercise, nutrition, getting the right amount of sleep, meditating in the morning… “Life is like something you have to constantly cultivate.”
[ 23:26 ] How do you cultivate sobriety? Paul’s daily routine.
[ 26:54 ] Meditation Tips from Paul
Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? [ 34:08 ] – “mean drunks.”
- What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward? [ 34:51 ] – continue with daily routines and helping others.
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? [ 35:37 ] – “Living life on life’s terms.” You can’t throw a drug at a problem to fix it.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to our listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? [ 36:08 ] – “Just do it.” Learn to believe that you can change — get help.
Quotables
“You almost have to surrender twice. You surrender to the point that you are powerless to the addictions…” – Paul
“I’ve found so much more peace in sobriety.” – Paul
“I need more friends who are into sober activities and stuff… Sober up and let’s hangout!” – Paul
Add words to the list! What are some possible words we can use to shift the language associated with addiction and recovering? Change the language and open up new possibilities!
If you have words to add to this list comment below or send us an email…
Or how about just — “I DON’T DRINK.” “I DON’T F###### DRINK.” “I DON’T DRINK.” “I DON’T DRINK TODAY, AND THE PLAN IS I DON’T DRINK TOMORROW.”
Resources mentioned in this episode
- For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via meetups, private-unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel.
- First month FREE with Promo Code Elevator.
Promo Code: Elevator
FitSpaz – FitSpaz, a fitness website run by Coach Paul the Producer, helping people get fit, healthy, and sober.
Support Recovery Elevator and other non-profits by using the link below to shop on Amazon.
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
“We took the elevator down, now let’s take the stairs back up, because we don’t drink.”
