by Kris Oyen | Jan 18, 2021 | Podcast
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Stephen took his last drink on January 24th, 2020. This is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You
“The pleasures of connecting with people are much greater than the pleasures of judging people.”- Johann Hari
If we show up genuinely, we can connect with someone. If we are pretending to listen, we will not connect. Only with actual connection can we truly see each other. In a little departure from talking about quitting drinking Odette is asking us to explore being a better listener. What would that mean? What would that look like? Listening to each other has the power to heal, however it’s also very hard to do. Can we be more curious and see how this can impact relationships?
[6:01] Odette introduces Stephen.
Stephen is 33 years old and lives in Austin, TX. He enjoys exercise, teaching tennis and using his Peloton. He’s planning to return to school in the near future.
[7:30] Can you give listeners some background on your story?
Stephen said he took his first drink at the age of 15. He was curious about it and remembers finding something that made him feel relaxed. Being so focused on tennis, alcohol was mostly a secondary thing. In 2008 he joined the military to be an Airborne Ranger, which is also where he noticed his drinking changed. He left the military in 2015 and the drinking followed him. With nothing to wake up for at 5am anymore, he was able to drink differently. After a few years he walked into an AA meeting and went all in for 7 months’ time. He began drinking again for 5 months which led him to January 2020.
[14:59] Tell me more about your being in the military and the binge drinking. Did you question your relationship with alcohol?
Stephen said he only questioned his drinking in the midst of a bad hangover. He was surrounded by so many others that drank the same way, so it was very normalized. Alcohol was a temporarily release from the stressors.
[19:07] Have you shifted your thinking from that of learning to endure to finding joy?
Stephen said he is still working on this. Coming from his sports and military background he was taught to do whatever it takes to get through something. He’s learned that only works in the short term, but the emotional impact last longer. In recovery Stephen has taught himself that it’s ok when things are easy and to go with the flow. He had to allow himself to surrender to the fact that he cannot live with alcohol in his life at all.
[22:45] What has been different this time?
Stephen said this time he had to adjust his all-in mentality. He’s more tied into recovery communities with actual people and listening to their struggles and stories. He gave up the idea of being perfect but at the same time accepted that he can’t be the best version of himself while drinking alcohol.
[25:06] Have you found anything in sobriety that makes you feel relaxed and free?
Stephen said running helps him and it’s when his body feels good and his mind is at peace. He’s working on trying to be ok with his own thoughts in his own head. Having real conversations with real people makes him feel free.
[25:57] What do you do when you have a craving?
Stephen said he eats. It’s simple and it works for him. He didn’t eat when drinking because he didn’t want to ruin his buzz. Now it’s the opposite. If that doesn’t work, he reaches out.
[26:57] Tell me about this year.
Stephen said at the beginning of COVID he was still able to be collecting a paycheck. He also went through a big breakup, which was different being sober.
[29:30] What’s your everyday routine look like?
Stephen said on a daily basis about connecting with people about his life and their life. Addressing mind, body and spirit, as well as attending therapy.
[31:14] How have the interactions with family and friends been?
Stephen said his family can now see the version of him that’s able to be present. He’s having conversations with family members who are questioning their own drinking.
[34:01] Have you figured out the why of your drinking?
Stephen said he’s been exploring a lot of deeper things with his therapist. He grew up in a home where he had to walk on eggshells. So, he thinks the drinking allowed him to be free of that. However, that led to all of his emotions being repressed and without an outlet except through drinking. Drinking allowed him to feel things and feel human.
[35:38] Have you found therapy to be helpful?
Stephen said yes. He’s an analytical person by nature and having someone to be a sounding board has been helpful. He wouldn’t have gone through a lot of the childhood trauma without his therapist.
[37:36] Has your sleep improved?
Stephen said not yet. He hopes it’s the last piece of the puzzle.
[39:49] Have you gone back to AA?
Stephen said yes, he’s working through the steps again. But he primarily focuses on a larger network for his own recovery.
[41:07] Rapid Fire Round
- What would you say to your younger self?
Stop trying to find clarity and happiness in a bottle. What happened to you as a child is not your fault
- What book are you reading right now?
Claim Your Power by Mastin Kipp
- What’s your favorite ice cream flavour?
Amy’s Ice Cream: Mexican Vanilla
- What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners thinking about ditching the booze?
There is no perfect recovery.Find your own path, don’t look back and you aren’t alone. There are so many people living a life without booze.
You may have to say adios to booze if…
you jump out of a plane drunk, because you are still drunk from the night before.
Odette’s weekly challenge:
Only you know what is best for you. Protect your energy. What works for some might not work for you. We are all here to encourage and inspire each other. We are challenging big alcohol, you are a part of this.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
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Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – when you show up as you are, you make all the difference for yourself and for the world – I love you guys”
by Paul Churchill | Apr 30, 2018 | Podcast
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The alcohol industry gives the government funds to prove light drinking is safe.
In today’s era of information overload, it can be difficult to sort the truth from the strong opinions. As the lines between journalism, science and advertising continue to blur, it can become difficult to know where to stand when one can find a seemingly reputable article or study to support any side of any opinion.
The alcohol industry is no stranger to the ways of public relations. The NIAAA (National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism) is a government established institution that funds approximately 90% of research on the effects of consuming alcohol in the US. Regarding a recent study on the effects of light drinking, it is no surprise to find out that $67 million was provided by 5 big alcohol companies, most likely to ensure that the results of the study fell in line with their message that alcohol is good for you.
Remember that alcohol is still poison, it’s still bad for you, and consuming alcohol still has real consequences, despite the what the heavily funded opinions of the alcohol industry would lead you to believe.
Daniel, with 128 days since his last drink, shares his story…
SHOW NOTES
[10:37] Paul Introduces Daniel.
Daniel is 43 years old, has a girlfriend and an 8 year old daughter. He works in telecom sales and enjoys biking, running, and reading.
[14:10] When did you first realize that you had a problem with drinking?
In his early 20s. Alcoholism runs in his family. He started drinking regularly in high school, then it became excessive in college. In his mid 20’s he began drinking in solitude.
[18:15] Talk to us about the 20 years you were drinking.
There were phases where he would think he was okay because he was functioning, but he would occasionally binge drink. He drank less after he got married in his late 20s but it eventually ramped up again. When he was binge drinking he wouldn’t eat.
[20:28] When did you first attempt to quit?
He started going to AA in his mid 20s but he wasn’t ready.
[21:10] Did you experience a rock bottom? Did you have a faulty off switch?
No, it was gradual. He would drink before work. He slowly lost control as depression and anxiety set in. He finally talked to his family and decided to go to a inpatient detox facility. It was difficult to stop once he started. He started drinking again after 25 days sober, thinking it was different.
[26:30] Tell us about your experience with the incredibly short memory (ISM).
He would find himself returning to the hospital after a short time away.
[28:33] What inspired you to quit, most recently?
His family. He spent some time away from them and it inspired him to quit. He experienced moments of clarity and made a decision. He found some supportive people to help him.
[32:02] What were your first 30 days like? How did you deal with cravings?
He drank a lot of seltzer water and non-alcoholic beer.
[34:10] What is a typical day in your recovery? How have you made it to 128 days?
He found a local AA group, and got a sponsor. He reads a lot. 4 or 5 AA meetings a week.
[41:10] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking?
A horrible physical detox.
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment?
He was drinking at work.
- What’s your plan moving forward?He wants to stay accountable, and tell his story. Keep reading and learning.
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery?The books, podcasts, AA
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)?
Follow your drink to the end. You’ll start with one drink but end with a three-day bender.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking?
If you’re listening to RE, most likely you’re heading down the path.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
If you go home and drink 8-12 beers, but then hide the cans so no one sees how much you drink, even though you live alone.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
LINK TO STUDY ARTICLE
Recovery – A book by Russell Brand
This Naked Mind – a book by Annie Grace
The Untethered Soul – by Michael Singer
Girl Walks Out of a Bar – by Lisa Smith
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Paul Churchill | Feb 12, 2018 | Podcast
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In this episode, Paul vents a little bit of his frustration and anger in recovery about AA and “big alcohol”.
Without alcohol in our lives to help us deal with difficult emotions.. anger, resentment, and frustration (to name a few) often rise to the surface. Paul expresses his concern for the abundance of alcohol in society, despite the overwhelming evidence that it is destructive and harmful.
Katie, with 496 days since her last drink, shares her story:
SHOW NOTES
[12:00] Paul Introduces Katie.
Katie is 29 years old, originally from New York, but lived in Colorado for a while and now lives in Dallas, Texas. Since quitting drinking and she is now into fitness. She recently ran her first half marathon.
[15:45] How did you realize you had a problem and how did you get sober?
Katie drank a lot in school. After college, she moved to Denver. She started going out every night, and developed insomnia. Went to the doctor, was prescribed Xanax. The medication eventually stopped working. The insomnia continued. She medicated on both ends of her sleep.
[19:50] When did you realize the core problem wasn’t being solved?
In Dallas, the doctors tried to taper down her medications.
[23:33] When did rehab enter the picture?
She felt alone and stuck. She broke down in her apartment. While moving, she found pills that she was hiding from herself. While her father was helping her move, they went to therapy and had a break down in front her her therapist and her father. Therapist told her she was still young and had a lot of life in front of her.
[27:45] You realized you had a drinking problem while in rehab?
Yes. She was in denial about why she was going. Thought it was just for rest. Left sober, but with the intention of using her meds normally, or as prescribed. In rehab, she slept well. She was going to try to use meds to stay sober… realized she was an alcoholic.
[30:35] What was it like after?
Returning to Dallas was tough. She had no support structure. Started to make friends through the sober community. Got into fitness. Met a guy who was a big drinker, turns out he had been sober for a while and understood her situation.
[37:00] How did you overcome the desire to relapse?
She lost a romantic partner, and it was difficult. She insisted on making it to 1 year, though. She realized that emotions are fleeting.
[38:10] What is your proudest moment in sobriety?
She’s visiting her best friend from college. They’re celebrating sobriety together. She’s also found out that many other people are getting sober.
[40:26] What is something that you’ve learned about yourself in sobriety?
She’s resilient. She’s been hitting her fitness goals more easily.
[41:41] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking?Woke up in a disgusting apartment with bug bites.
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment?The moment of clarity in rehab.
- What’s your plan moving forward?Focus on the positive, and keeping the eye on the prize. Don’t mess with the routine.
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery?Her gym. A tough workout, with intention setting.
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)?It’s a lot easier to stay sober than it is to get sober.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking?Just try it. You can always go back to the life with alcohol.
- You might be an alcoholic if…You have a parking permit at the liquor store so you can park there without worrying about driving drunk.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Visit Rxbar.com/elevator and use the promo code elevator for 25% off your first order.
The Sober Truth – a book by Lance and Zachary Dodes, debunking recovery programs
From Death Do I Part – a book by Amy Lee Coy, her story about overcoming addiction
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Kris Oyen | Dec 15, 2025 | Podcast
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Today we have Nathan. He is 45 years old from Harrisburg, VA and took his last drink on January 24th, 2023.
This episode is brought to you by:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored
Café RE – the social app for sober people
Get your 2026 started off poison free and join us for our Dry January course Restore at 8pm eastern time on January 1st. This is the first of 13 sessions throughout the month, and this course is all about accountability and having fun.
January 1st, 2026 is the official release date for Paul’s new book Dolce Vita both in print and audiobook. He would love to have you on the launch team. Email info@recoveryelevator.com to join.
[01:59] Thoughts from Paul:
When asked what recovery has made possible, today’s guest Nathan responded with the one word “everything” almost before Paul could finish the question.
The sobriety space, especially the 12-step world, is full of cheesy recovery slogan, but Paul shares one that he laughed at when he first heard it. The saying is, you’re giving up one thing for everything. And that one thing is alcohol.
If you ride a drinking problem long enough, it will take everything from your life. But when you quit, nearly everything that was taken will be returned. Not all in one day of course, but a life without alcohol will give you everything. More money, more sunsets, more time with aging parents, more memories, a better outlook on life and more growth.
[05:56] Paul introduces Nathan:
Nathan lives in Harrisonburg, VA where he works in the philanthropy space in higher education. He and his wife have two children, 11 and 14 years old. For fun, he enjoys spending time with his family and out in nature.
In high school, Nathan was very active in a variety of high school activities. Having a reputation to maintain, Nathan kept his drinking private. Nathan went on to college and says it was the typical experience with the exception of losing a friend to a drunk driving incident in which he feels partially responsible for.
While he used alcohol to cope with the pain of the loss, he also used the loss to propel him into trying to make changes in programs at school and how he approached is own drinking. Nathan still did much of his drinking in private because he knew he couldn’t drink how he wanted to in public.
Over the years, Nathan didn’t think he had a problem, but he was hiding the quantity he drank from everyone. Once COVID came, the isolation, the unknowns, and the loss of multiple family members found Nathan’s consumption changing a bit. He began to realize the behavior wasn’t normal but believed it was a moral failing, or lack of discipline rather than the alcohol being the source of the problem.
At 41, Nathan began to use health related goals as motivation to moderate. He didn’t drink daily, but when he drank it was with the intention to get drunk. After finding himself in handcuffs with his car in the ditch, he wanted nothing more than to just “fix it”. It was at this time when his wife approached him and said it was time for him to go to AA.
Nathan didn’t identify as an alcoholic and was initially resistant, but a voice in his head said he had no excuse not to go. Getting some great advice at the first meeting that really resonated with him, Nathan left with the Big Book and went on to attend 90 meetings in 90 days.
The first three months were all about survival for Nathan. After his legal troubles ended he had a shift from “I have to do this” to “I want to do this”. Recognizing that he could use his recovery to help others, he and some friends are trying to reach the younger demographic in his area. Service has become very important, and Nathan is now a sponsor for others in the AA space.
Nathan’s parting piece of guidance: You’re never going to wake up in the morning and regret not drinking the night before.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
I love you guys.
RE on Instagram
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
RE YouTube
by Kris Oyen | Dec 1, 2025 | Podcast
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Today we have Jack. He’s 39 years old from Phoenix, AZ and took his last drink of alcohol on June 23rd, 2025.
This episode is brought to you by:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored
Sober Link – sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus
Registration for Recovery Elevator’s Dry January course Restore opens today. We are meeting 13 times live in the month of January to give you the best chance of ditching the booze.
Recovery Elevator now has its own coffee created with Rise Up Coffee Co. 25% of each bag sold will be donated to the nonprofit Café RE.
January 1st, 2026 is the official release date for Paul’s new book Dolce Vita.
[03:43] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul wants to do a check-in today. How are you doing at the end of 2025? How are you feeling after Thanksgiving and heading into Christmas? How are you feeling about yourself and your sobriety? This time of year can be a lot for many of us, but he wants to remind us all that we are not alone, even if you are listening to this podcast alone.
Our drinking problem likes to tell us that we are the only one in the world that has or has had struggles with alcohol, but that’s simply not true. More than ever are struggling, more than ever are quitting and more than ever are putting down the drink. Addiction wants us to feel alone. The first step is to recognize this voice; the next step is to join the growing movement into alcohol-free living. You are a part of this movement.
[08:42] Paul introduces Jack:
Jack is 39 years old and lives in Phoenix, AZ. He works as a trial attorney and outside of work likes to help community organizations. In his free time, Jack enjoys playing music and spending time in nature.
Jack was adopted as a baby after his birth mother arrived in the US from Mexico. His parents were very supportive and loving of Jack, but they share different viewpoints from him.
Jack says he had his first experience with alcohol two years before his first drink at age 16. After an argument with his mother about going to a friends house, Jack had stormed into his room enraged. As he sat with his big emotions, he had the thought of “I need a drink” for the first time. His first actual drink came at high school graduation and he felt the desire to cut loose for the first time.
The drinking started as a weekend activity, but Jack says he really took to it. Drinking didn’t make him tired; it energized him and took the stress away. Over the course of his college attendance, the weekend drinking with friends turned into daily drinking alone for Jack. He says he didn’t feel normal unless he had a buzz.
For Jack, he always knew that eventually his drinking would become a problem. He says at one point it was his dream goal to survive through the week with normal drinking and then have a weekend where he could get a lot of alcohol and just spend time by himself getting wasted.
Given his career as public defender, Jack found himself frequently helping others with addiction issues but was hesitant to do anything about his own thinking he would get around to it eventually.
A year before his quit date, Jack says he entered recovery. There were some traumatic events that found Jack moving out of the house he shared with roommates due to a disagreement and breaking up with a girlfriend. He moved back into his childhood bedroom and for the first time realized he wasn’t the victim in everything and had to take ownership of his part of things.
Jack decided it was time for change. He began doing the research, counting the days and celebrating the milestones. There were hiccups and Jack wants to remind those struggling that it is ok. We just keep trying and eventually we will get there. Jack says he identifies with the idea that in recovery we become better people than we were before.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
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