by Kris Oyen | May 30, 2022 | Podcast
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Episode 380– What is Sober?
Recovery Elevator is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Today we have Shrene. She is 46, from Arizona, and took her last drink on September 10, 2019
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Highlights from Paul
Paul talks about the word sober. For this podcast, sober refers to alcohol, because alcohol is what got Paul behind the microphone to launch Recovery Elevator. Paul suggests not getting too attached to any idea of what sober looks like. It’s not about the substance, but the freedom you have from the substance. Try not to judge others for their definition of sober, because it’s rarely black and white. When you judge others, you judge yourself and create separation. Defining sobriety can be a fool’s errand.
Sobriety is living authentically. Sobriety is not being a slave, to a substance, behavior, or action. Sobriety is living your life how you want to live, living with a connected head and heart, recognizing beauty, art, sunsets, a different vibration.
Sobriety is hope, taking off the chains, meeting yourself, a manageable life.
Sobriety is “downgrading additions.” Sarah Hepola – Blackout https://www.amazon.com/Blackout-Remembering-Things-Drank-Forget/dp/1455554588
If you remove alcohol and aren’t ready to say goodbye to everything else, go slow, take your time, and listen to your body. There is no right or wrong way to do this, and there is no generally accepted definition of sobriety.
At Recovery Elevator, we accept all versions of sober. We accept all versions of you.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator – 10% off your first month
[12:04] Shrrene is married with two children, two dogs and is a lunch lady who makes lunch for 700 kids daily.
Shrrene remembers drinking as early as age three to four. She drank through her high school years. She stopped drinking when she got married at age 16 and she stopped drinking until after her son was born at age 26. She was a casual drinker.
At 40, she started drinking daily. She would sneak her drinking, hide bottles, and hide in her closet to drink. She quit during her pregnancy. She had open heart surgery at 39, then had a stroke. At age 41 she had a second open heart surgery but continued to drink. Her husband brought an AA Big Book home from an Al-Anon meeting. Her husband joined Celebrate Recovery and she joined him for meetings. She began to moderate but went back to field research regularly until 2019. Shrrene got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Prayer was instrumental for getting the desire to drink lifted. Now she doesn’t have a desire to drink, other than the fleeting thought and she plans to stay active in recovery and help others.
Shrrene slowly started talking to her husband, in AA meetings, journaling and learning to share. Journaling helped when she was too afraid to talk to others and it is a tool that still serves her today.
Attending AA and CR meetings were helpful, but Shrrene was reluctant to share. When she learned to open up, she felt less alone. She found the similarities in the stories of others. She encourages listeners to keep trying and never give up.
Odette’s Summary
Odette reminds us “we can do hard things”. We can’t do hard things and be hard on ourselves. Chose yourself, chose kindness and be your own cheerleader.
Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.
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Recovery Elevator –we are here for you, don’t quit quitting.
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by Kris Oyen | May 23, 2022 | Podcast
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Episode 379 – Service
Recovery Elevator is sponsored by BetterHelp
Today we have Aaron. He is 40, from South Carolina, and took his last drink on September 15, 2021.
Jeff was interviewed for the podcast on episodes 104 and 377, has a book out, and is now leading sober travel trips. See links below.
Finding Bishop Castle: A Road Trip to Recovery — https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Bishop-Castle-Road-Recovery/dp/0578882612/ref=sr_1_1?crid=350FVMX9SZBRI&keywords=finding+bishop+castle+jeff+bowersox&qid=1649339640&sprefix=Finding+Bishop+%2Caps%2C213&sr=8-1#customerReviews
Afterglow Recovery – https://ourafterglow.com
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
Paul talks about the benefits of service and climate change in recovery. Service gets you out of your head and out of your story. Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin are released when we help others.
Climate change could save us as a species by forcing us to work together and develop a collective strategy. Alcoholics can help because there’s one thing we can do that others can’t, and that’s meeting as a group, putting all our differences aside, and talking about healing, recovery, and LOVE.
Paul wants climate change to unite us instead of dividing us. He is encouraging Recovery Elevator listeners to plant a tree, take a picture and tag us on Instagram @recoveryelevator.
“The true meaning of life is to plant trees under the shade you don’t expect to sit.” Nelson Henderson
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator – 10% off your first month
[15:06] Aaron has been sober for seven months and is married with two kids. He has an athletic household. He loves cooking, sports, and power yoga.
Alcohol wasn’t part of his life until his senior year of high school. When he went to college, binge drinking was the norm. Alcohol came with comradery for Aaron. All his memories with his friends involved alcohol. At 23, he totaled a car after drinking to excess. He quit for a month after the accident. When he started working, he got an outside sales job involving entertaining customers. Both his work and his social life revolved around drinking. At times it felt like an obligation. His tolerance built up, and it never occurred to him to stop.
His wife noticed and began to comment on his drinking. Aaron said to drink as he wanted meant being drunk. He saw a therapist specializing in addiction who helped him see several things.
Aaron’s 40th birthday was enough of a nudge to get him to address his drinking. His wife bought him a ten pack of hot yoga classes, and he went to his first one on his birthday.
Odette and Aaron discussed the dynamics of alcoholism running in the family and how to talk to children, siblings, and cousins about being mindful of the patterns that can develop.
Accountability has been a big part of Aaron’s sober journey. His cousin has become his accountability partner, and they talk about the ups and downs of sobriety with each other.
Odette and Aaron talk about the differences in sobriety that are new. Managing customers has worked well in sobriety. Aaron remembers his deliverables more readily and has found that as many customers want to be home with family as they want to party. Grieving your old life is allowed and makes sense. Ditching the booze makes room for new experiences.
Odette’s Summary
Odette reminds listeners that you keep us going. We want to hear from you about what you would like to hear from us in the podcast, social media, and newsletters. You can reach Odette at info@recoveryelevator.com.
Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Recovery Elevator –It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
by Kris Oyen | Apr 11, 2022 | Podcast
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Episode 373– Control and Connection
Today we have Chris. She is 46, from Baltimore, and took her last drink on August 28, 2016.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
Paul thanks all the guests who have shared their stories to help us on the path toward sobriety. Paul wants to hear about your favorite episode or the value bombs that resonated with you. Please include the episode number if possible. Contact Paul at: info@recoveryelevator.com.
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How are you reconciling the elements of control in your life? Paul talks about our struggles with control at the macro and micro levels. Is the opposite of control connection? We have never been more disconnected.
Paul’s homework for listeners is to invite a friend out to coffee instead of placing your mental energies on trying to control things. Go on a walk with your dog in Nature. Learn to play the ukulele with us, go on a meditation retreat, join Café RE, call your mom, volunteer at a soup kitchen, write a letter to someone in jail. All our lives depend on this, and we all have to do our part, which I know we can and know we will.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator – 10% off your first month
[10:16] Sherrie lives in Baltimore and has two adult children. She is a massage therapist and teaches movement. She is a competitive Irish dancer; she loves paddle boarding and hiking.
Alcoholism was a big part of Chris’ family. There was a lot of shame, and she steered clear of alcohol. She was the designated driver for her friends in high school. After she was married, she started drinking, and it rapidly progressed into a problem. After losing a pregnancy, she had a white light moment, and she went down a very dark hole. Alcohol became her coping mechanism to turn off the pain. She began losing clients and students and realized it was time to stop.
Physical pain and discomfort were warning signs for Chris that she wasn’t headed in a good direction. Her husband never thought her drinking was a problem. Moderation was his preferred choice. He didn’t think she needed to quit altogether, even when she asked for help. Waking up in a blur became commonplace. Chris started listening to recovery podcasts, and fear became the impetus to get her to quit drinking.
Chris’ clients started to notice a difference in her when she quit drinking. They asked, what’s different? She began her sober journey alone and listened to sobriety podcasts, including Recovery Elevator. She kept it quiet, even from her partner. Chris attended a Recovery Elevator retreat and realized she was a dry drunk. Community became part of her recovery, and she credits Paul’s work for expanding her view of a sober life.
Lifestyle changes, including diet and exercise, became critical to Chris’ recovery. As she continued to get better, her husband got worse and tried to sabotage her efforts. Chris relies on community and meditative movement to maintain her sobriety.
Talking openly about alcohol use with her daughters has been crucial to Chris. They have open discussions about alcohol, marijuana, and other addictive substances. She reminds her daughters that she doesn’t drink and why and is very open about the predisposition for addiction in their family. Chris appreciates the power and control that have returned to her in a life without alcohol.
Odette’s Summary
[48:12] “The crap does not mean you are broken; it means you have room to grow.” Odette encourages us to look at the opportunities to learn, change our perceptions and live a different life. You are not alone – together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
- You can find more information about our events
Resources
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Recovery Elevator –Let’s continue to be trailblazers in recovery together. I love you guys.
by RE Helper | Mar 17, 2022 | Alcohol Free, Blog, Helpful Tips, Mocktail, Recipe, Resources
Normally I post my mocktail around the 15th of the month, but this month I delayed my post for 2 days so we could talk about St. Patrick’s Day… Ready?! Let’s go! When alcohol is a central focus in your life, every day can be seen as a day to...
by Paul Churchill | Oct 25, 2021
10% of monthly Café RE income is donated to non-profits! Check out your donations so far! $43,094.73Total Donated Resources for Recovery was founded in 2015. R4R Kids is Dedicated to serving children of addicted parents. If a child has lost a parents to overdose or...
