RE 299: D is for Dip Days

by Kris Oyen | Nov 9, 2020 | Podcast

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Desi took her last drink July 21, 2018. With just over 2 years away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).

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Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding your Better You…..

Hard days happen for everyone and don’t believe that highlight reel you see on Instagram! Odette calls these “dip days”. It’s ok to not thrive every single day, it’s ok to let feelings pass, it’s ok to be honest and you are not alone. 2020 is here to remind us we are stronger than we think and also what grief feels like.

Odette wants to share her tools for what helps her during these dip days.

1. Eat
2. Drink lots of water
3. Meditate
4. Laugh
5. Remind yourself daily that you are not your productivity levels.
6. Take your medications (if you are on any!)

[7:34] Odette introduces Desi.

Desi is 30 years old and lives in Michigan. She is finished up her Master’s in social work at University of Michigan (go blue!). In her spare time, she coaches high school lacrosse which is a huge passion of hers.

[12:38] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?

Desi said her journey started at the age of 7 with an eating disorder after being sexually abused. At the age of 14 a cousin passed away and that was a big turning point for her. Her family didn’t talk about emotions. And around this time, she started drinking as well. Her first drink wasn’t normal, and it flipped a switch: she wanted more. In college she made friends with a group of people who “didn’t make wise decisions” so neither did she. Life was very hard for Desi during this. In college she met another woman, Vera, who became her sister and she credits Vera with saving her life. In 2009 she began to have chest pains, which was always diagnosed as “anxiety”, but Desi knew it wasn’t. In 2012 her sister Lauren got her into a treatment center for her eating disorder. In her second time in ED rehab she tried to get sober. However, Desi considered herself a dry drunk. November 2014 she began drinking again.

[34:04] When you came out of treatment were you frustrated that you also had to remove alcohol?

Desi said she didn’t even think she had a problem with alcohol at first. She knew her eating disorder was killing her and that was her focus. She held onto all the other toxic things so she could cope. Desi was scared if she didn’t have other things to help her get through life.

[39:41] Tell me about the first couple months of your sobriety.

Desi said she worked a program with AA. She had severe withdrawal symptoms, but she was able to talk about it in AA. There was nothing left to hide, and Desi was very honest in her shares. She reflected back on what made her want to quit drinking in the first place. Staying connected and finding community was what helped.

[44:09] Did your anxiety get better?

Desi said yes. While she’s a naturally anxious person, her anxiety has leveled. She was able to get off medication. Where her anxiety used to sit is no longer there. She experiences anxiety just like other people do, because that’s life.

[46:28] Tell me about sharing openly.

Desi said she needed to be able to share, she looks at it as a duty. Her sharing helps other people. She tells her story for those close to her that passed away and weren’t able to tell theirs.

[50:50] Rapid Fire Round

1. If you could talk to day 1 Desi, what would you say?

Hold, have hope, let people help you, and listen to others.

1. What are you excited about right now?

An internship at UofM.

1. What’s your go to response when someone offers you a drink?

No, I’m good.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners that are thinking about ditching the booze?

If you can think of best case scenario for your life, just know that without alcohol it’s 100% possible.

You may have to say adios to booze…

If you sneak out, get drunk, come back home, fall down the stairs, break your leg running to the bathroom to throw up.

Odette’s challenge this week:

Reach you, Odette is here for you.

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

• You can find more information about our events here.

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. 

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  –info@recoveryelevator.com

“Recovery Elevator – We took the stairs down, we gotta take the elevator back up, we can do this– I love you guys”

RE 295: Perfectionism Sucks

by Kris Oyen | Oct 12, 2020 | Podcast

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Brandon took his last drink October 28, 2018. With 645 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).

Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You…..

Now more than ever we need to stay rooted in kindness and live with the belief that people are just doing the best they can. In sobriety Odette has found she can give more grace to others because she is giving herself more grace and compassion.

Looking at perfectionism, it doesn’t actually yield perfect results. It instead creates feelings of guilt, shame, stress, addiction, loneliness and isolation. Unsubscribe from perfectionism and just be yourself. Take care of yourself and everything else will take care of itself. And that’s the real gift.

[7:08] Odette introduces Brandon.

Brandon lives in Orlando, Florida with his wife and son. He’s a social media manager. For fun he likes to go on adventures with his son, he plays music and enjoys being creative.

[10:42] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?

Brandon said he started drinking at the age of 21, he wasn’t interested in drinking while growing up. He was focused on sports and playing in bands. His first couple years of drinking he didn’t suffer the usual repercussions. At about 3 years in he began to experience hangovers. College drinking helped him deal with his anxiety. Brandon noticed the years after college he was using alcohol as a crutch. He found himself turning to alcohol for to handle anything that life threw at him. He was trying to show a front of perfectionism while internally struggling so much.

[19:24] Did your wife every approach you about your drinking?

Brandon said his wife would question sometimes the beer(s) he would have with dinner. He could tell she knew something was wrong. His rock bottom was a Halloween party in 2018 where he drank too much and they had a fight. She was 7 months pregnant and expressed concern about having to do the next stage of life alone. That was enough for him.

[29:11] Talk to me more about the time right after you stopped drinking.

Brandon said he was prepared for it to be hell but didn’t consider all the other things that go into it. He was open with his wife and friends. He turned to fitness to keep his mind moving. He took things hour by hour and focused just on the moment he was in. Brandon discovered a confidence in himself he didn’t know was there.

[35:18] Do you still get cravings?

Brandon said no, but there are times where it sounds good to take the edge off with alcohol.

[36:27] What’s in your toolbox?

Brandon said his wife is his biggest support. The /r/stopdrinking Reddit page. The idea of sharing with others gives him motivation.

[39:32] Do you ever get push back from people?

Brandon said yes, he does. He feels because he dealt with it silently for so many years, people had a hard time understanding the level of drinking he had come to achieve.

[44:57] Rapid Fire Round

1. If you could talk to younger Brandon what would you say?

Listen to your parents, don’t try it.

1. What is your go to NA beverage?

Sparkling water.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze?

Listen to your gut. What’s in your mind is the truth. There’s no better time than now.

You may have to say adios to booze…

If you’re in a meeting at 2pm and you’re thinking about what you’re going to drink tonight.

Odette’s challenge this week:

Try to see yourself differently this week. Be more compassionate when you make a mistake. Give people in your life the benefit of the doubt. Be nice to strangers.

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. 

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

• Recovery Elevator’s first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24^th. This event is FREE for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
• Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/10/20. It’s FREE for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
• You can find more information about our events here.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  –info@recoveryelevator.com

“Recovery Elevator – “Believing we are all doing the best we can, can make the world a better place – I love you guys”

RE 293: Does it Bring you Peace?

by Kris Oyen | Sep 28, 2020 | Podcast

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | RSS | More

Rob took his last drink June 5, 2019. With over one year away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).

Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You…..

When we say no to alcohol, we are saying yes to a better life. Once the alcohol is left behind some people pick back up old hobbies, others go off to do things they thought they would never do. Give yourself some grace when you quit, and you are trying to figure out what you like to do now. Go for it, the possibilities are endless.

Is how we are choosing to spend our time after quitting drinking bringing us peace? It becomes our responsibility to protect our peace and also seek peace.

[6:22] Odette introduces Rob.

Rob is 55 and lives in Littleton, CO. He has been married to his wife for 30 years, they have 2 grown boys. Rob likes adventure sports, specifically motorbike adventuring. He also enjoys hiking, being outdoors. He very much loves what Colorado has to offer.

[9:34] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?

Rob said he moved from rural Indiana in 1978 to Denver, CO and that’s when alcohol became a big part of his life. Stemming from his desire to fit into a new school as a kid, he began drinking. He also took a job at a warehouse where the older employees found it funny to corrupt the 15 year old preachers kid. His parents found out and they put a stop to it. He began leading a dual life, the adrenaline seeker mountain climber motorcycle rider vs going to church 5 times a week.

On November 11, 2012 his close friend Ted passes away from cancer. Rob didn’t know how to handle those feelings and after this he began drinking at home. By the end he was blacking out 3-5 nights a week.

[17:02] Did you ever think to yourself “I might have a drinking problem?”

Rob said he didn’t even have that thought. The mentality around the group he was in was “work hard, play hard”.

[17:32] After Ted passed, were you conscious of the fact that you were using alcohol to hide the pain?

Rob said that never occurred to him until he was in recovery.

[19:12] Tell me about after your wife left?

Rob said he gained enough clarity that night to realize the choice was alcohol or his marriage. He chose to fight for his marriage and that night was his last drink.

That next morning on his drive to work, rather than listening to his usual drive music, he listened to a podcast about recovery. That night he found an AA meeting as well.

[25:15] Tell me about the resentment you had and when you felt the shift.

Rob said it was a progression for him. He didn’t really find a home until he found Café RE in September 2019. He felt the connections become real.

[28:26] Tell me about those first few months after you quit.

Rob said at 4 months he had done a lot of the brain work. He was trying to connect to his emotions and doing real work on himself. Then in October 2019, a driver ran a red light and collided with the side of his car going 55 MPH. He suffered a traumatic brain injury. While physically ok, he had to/has to work hard to get back to himself and heal himself, again.

[35:00] Do you still get cravings and how do you handle them?

Rob said he does still get cravings. And when he does, he goes into his sobriety toolbox. The first thing he does is wait 20 minutes and then he has to figure out why the craving happened. If that doesn’t work he page 84’s his sponsor. This means: working the steps in your everyday life.

[39:16] Do you ever get push back from people when you tell them you don’t drink?

Rob said no one gives him push back.

[40:33] Rapid Fire Round

1. What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

That first night at AA, I’m ok and I’m not alone.

2. If you could talk to day 1 Rob, what would you say?

10 deep breaths and give yourself a big hug.

3. What are you excited about right now?

Butt Burner Gold which is 1500 miles in 24 hours on a motorcycle.

4. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze?

Stick around. Do the work. It’s worth it. One day you will wake up and see that it’s all worth it, you have this nice little life now.

You may have to say adios to booze…

If you got kicked out of public school for drinking and your parents put you into a parochial school and you show up to bible study drunk.

Odette’s challenge this week:

Close your eyes for a few minutes and think about the things that bring you peace. Drop them down and keep them close. Get in the habit of looking for this peaceful feeling.

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. 

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

• Recovery Elevator’s first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24^th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
• Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
• You can find more information about our events

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  –info@recoveryelevator.com

“Recovery Elevator – “Protect your peace – I love you guys”