by Kris Oyen | Dec 28, 2020 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Robyn took her last drink on June 30, 2020. With 63 days away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We’re meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more!
We’ll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We’ve found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link.
Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You
The last Monday of the year! “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals” – Zig Ziglar
This journey isn’t about arriving, it’s about becoming. How much we are willing to put in is what we should celebrate. Your hard work and new habits are what is to be celebrated. No one can take that away from you. What have you noticed about your journey this year? Who did you become this year?
[6:35] Odette introduces Robyn.
Robyn is from Columbia, South Carolina. She lives with her partner and he has two kids they see often. She likes jigsaw puzzles, reading, journaling and meditating. Pre-covid she liked vacations to the mountains.
[9:33] Can you give listeners some background on your story?
Robyn said she started drinking around her senior year of high school. She was shy. When she moved to NC it was a fresh start and to fit in, she drank. It helped her open up and have fun. After some life trials and moving to Columbia she made friends with bartenders and it was still fun drinking. During a relationship with another alcoholic, she noticed her drinking really ramped up. There were lots of times she talked herself out of being an alcoholic. In 2011 Robyn got a DUI. She did quit for a little, but it didn’t stick. After her mother passed away was when Robyn actually noticed it was a problem. She dealt with so much during that time. Robyn’s getting to her last drink came in ebbs and flows over years. There was a definite mental decline that she noticed.
[26:10] How was your emotional state during these times of drinking and then returning to drinking?
Robyn said she stopped beating herself up. It took a while for that overall to stop, but the more she met people and gained community it’s been easier for her to be easier on herself. She’s learned there’s no point in beating yourself up, it won’t help.
[31:06] What do you do when you get a craving?
Robyn said she reaches out. Her partner helps her with the rational side of her thinking. If he’s not available, she will reach out to Café RE or her little DTB group.
[32:43] How has this decision affected other relationships?
Robyn said her boss is also in recovery and he’s a big supporter of her recovery. Her best friend still drinks but is supportive of her choice.
[35:21] Have you been able to identify any triggers?
Robyn said some of her triggers are good things. If she’s having a good day, yard work, outside activities. Her triggers aren’t emotional anymore.
[38:06] Do you have a daily routine?
Robyn said journaling. She’s journaled most of her life and she’s really focused on it during her sobriety. Robyn even noticed that if she takes a break, within a week she’s had a drink. Even when she doesn’t have anything “great” to say, she writes anyway. She tries to include gratitude and she’s begun meditating.
[47:18] Rapid Fire Round
- If you could talk to day 1 Robyn, what would you say?
Keep trying, you’re making the right decision, keep going. It will eventually be good.
- What are you excited about right now?
Do some sober travel and meet some Cafe RE members.
- What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?
Cafe RE, journaling, quit lit and other podcasts, all of them.
- What is your favorite NA beverage?
All the sparkling water, if it’s sparkling and it’s water, I want it!
- What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners thinking about ditching the booze?
Give it a try you will never know how good it can feel until you give it a chance. And be easy on yourself.
You may have to say adios to booze if…
you wanted to stock up for quarantine and it only lasts you 4 days.
Odette’s weekly challenge:
Take a few moments to reflect on today’s intro on becoming. Who are you trying to become?
Thank you to each listener!
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
- Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We’re meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more!
- You can find more information about our events
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – Embrace the journey of becoming and Happy New Year- I love you guys”
by Kris Oyen | Dec 14, 2020 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Kyle took his last drink on May 31 2020. With 82 days away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We’re meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more!
We’ll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We’ve found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link.
Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You
Sometimes we get stuck. When Odette gets stuck, she repeats this simple phrase to herself. “Please help me see things differently.” Being shown the same scenario through a different lens helps to shift the perspective. Different questions help to see things in a new way and get unstuck. If you’re feeling stuck are you asking yourself the wrong questions?
[7:44] Odette introduces Kyle.
Kyle is 33 years old and from Michigan. He is married and has three young daughters. He works in the automotive industry as a program manager. For fun he’s been planning the future with his wife, he also likes gaming and running.
[10:49] Can you give listeners some background on your story?
Kyle said the first time he got drunk was when he was 14, but he didn’t notice a change in his drinking until he was in his 20s. He was taking on a lot at the time and failing a lot at things. He looked to beer to take the edge off which turned into drinking to black out every night. He tried quitting many times and this stretch is the longest he’s gone in 10 years.
[13:37] When did you notice you were using alcohol to cope?
Kyle said he realized this subconsciously early on but was trying to quit on willpower alone. He figured out the price for alcohol and the euphoria it brought was higher than he was willing to pay. Alcohol stopped being enjoyable at the end because he was just chasing something.
[17:25] What happened when you returned from Japan and you realized you couldn’t shake it?
Kyle said rock bottom wasn’t one individual thing. He realized he was letting his wife and kids down often. He would wake up ashamed. During a conversation with his wife, she mentioned a friend who worked with people with addiction issues. Kyle was given some reference material. He found other like-minded people and that’s really what helped him.
[21:23] Tell me about your attempts to stop drinking.
Kyle said he feels like he’s been in a fog for the last 10 years. He had a lot of vision and no energy. Every time he woke up and swore off alcohol, but 3 pm that day he was ready to drink. There was a lot of mental back and forth he experienced. He sees now that was only will power without understanding the science behind it.
[23:23] What was your mental headspace when you were trying to quit?
Kyle said he lacked a lot of self love, so he was frustrated with himself all the time. He had a good façade and came off as confident, but he wasn’t the person he wanted to be internally.
[24:15] How has this time been different for you?
Kyle said he is seeking help. Also, his family is a big influence about getting sober. He knows he will be there for them.
[25:16] What do you do when you get a craving?
Kyle said he sits with it and he thinks about the morning after, his future and what the drink can lead to.
[27:30] How has staying away from alcohol affected your anxiety & depression?
Kyle said it’s still there, but it’s not as severe. He now knows that drinking wont erase them and he deals with them.
[29:44] What does a day in the life of Kyle look like?
Kyle said it’s mainly juggling his career and his family.
[29:44] What does a day in the life of Kyle look like?
Jason said he makes amends a lot. He gives himself permission to be imperfect and to circle back. He practices and allows room for mistakes to happen. Being compassionate with himself. He also applies the ABCs
[30:10] Do you have any rituals in place to help you deal with cravings?
Kyle said he likes to keep his hands busy. He does see he’s more focused on the things he loves.
[37:16] Have you noticed a difference in your relationship with your wife?
Kyle said his wife really let him do what he needed and didn’t get in the way of him discovering his own path to sobriety. He has thanked her for letting him discover sobriety in his own way.
[41:20] Do you have any specific routines during the day / morning routine?
Kyle said he used to but now not really. He does try to find time to exercise because it’s a stress release. If he has extra time, read a book.
[43:43] Have you noticed your sleep has improved?
Kyle said living away from alcohol has improved his sleep. He used to drink to knock himself out. He’s noticed it’s much better now.
[44:43] Rapid Fire Round
- If you could talk to day 1 Kyle, what would you say?
Show yourself a little self love and try to understand the science behind why you drink.
- What is your favorite NA beverage?
Coffee, he’s trying to find a good energy drink.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give people thinking about ditching the booze?
If you haven’t tried it and you’re thinking about it, just try it. Try to understand it.
You may have to say adios to booze if…
you mention this question to your wife because you’re struggling to come up with an answer and she gives you a list of ten.
Odette’s parting words:
Thank you. After many day 1s, she’s celebrating 2 years sober this week.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
- Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We’re meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more!
- You can find more information about our events here.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – Everything that you need is already inside of you- I love you guys”
by Kerri MacFarlane | Nov 17, 2020 | Blog, COVID, Early Sobriety, Helpful Tips, Holidays, The first Year
A layered cake. That’s what I picture when I think about the next couple months. The bottom layer is the upcoming holiday season. And during a ‘normal’ year the holiday season can be stressful because…
…because of feeling overwhelmed, not getting everything on your todo list done. 
…because family. Nuff said.
…because your vision of what the holidays ‘should’ look like, looks nothing like what yours actually do look like.
…because what once looked so far away, the year’s end, is now right before your eyes…and you are still standing there with a list of unmet goals.
…because you’re lonely. You don’t do well in crowds. You’re exhausted. You’re broke.
Now take all that ‘normal’ year holiday stuff and add on another layer…a big fat layer of global pandemic.
Hold up…not done yet! Let’s go ahead and add one more layer…the “I want to stay sober through it all’ layer.
If you are newly sober, and this will be your first sober holiday season, you may be feeling a little (maybe a lot) nervous and anxious…that’s normal, and you are not alone. Stay with me here and we’ll get to some tips that can help.
For those of you that have some sober time under your belt, you know how good it feels, and what that inner freedom feels like, when you get through a holiday season alcohol free. These tips may help you too.
Self care is a must. You’ve ditched the booze! That’s a grande size of self care!! But there is more you can do in the self care arena, and taking care of your body, mind and soul is important during these stressful times. Healthy eats, plenty of water, enough sleep, physical activity, slowing down, stopping to breath, and making time for meditation. All very important and will help you get through the season. Here is a 5 minute meditation you can do anywhere!
Be mindful of what you’re drinking and thinking. (Not to be confused with ‘mindful drinking’, which is a movement I’ll explore in a later blog.) When headed to a social gathering or holiday party don’t go empty handed. Bring your own NA beverage or, if you know there will be NA options there get one right away. When you are prepared and have a beverage in hand people won’t be constantly asking you if you want a drink. Having a drink in your hand also helps you not look so awkward when you don’t know what to do with your hands.
Plan ahead. There are a number of simple things you can do ahead of time…before you get to the party…that will help reduce your angst. Drive yourself, so you can leave when YOU need to. Arrive late, leave early. Yes you are sober, but no that does not mean you have to be the designated driver, that can be triggering…drunk people are annoying (shocker!) and you may not like your drunk friends the next day. Have a friend or two on standby that you can call or text if needed.
You are going to be asked why, so have your response ready. “You’re not drinking? Why aren’t you drinking? For how long aren’t you drinking? You are never drinking again?!?!” They are going to ask…the questions will come. Because in this backwards society we live in, where drinking is the norm…if you decide to go alcohol free…you’re the odd one. You don’t owe anyone an answer. But not being prepared when this question is thrown at you can make the situation even more uncomfortable. Keep it short and simple if you want. “Why aren’t you drinking?” “Because.” The end.
Out with the old, in with the new…create new traditions. Change the setting. If you’ve always spent Thanksgiving dinner over at Aunt Mary’s…where you would have a little turkey with a lot of wine, then maybe you should offer to host the dinner at your house. Change the time. 4 pm Christmas dinner at the in-laws with all 20 cousins too much, try going over there for brunch. Do something completely different from your familiar holiday activities. Go volunteer at a homeless shelter or to walk the dogs at your local animal shelter. Giving and being of service is one of the best things you can do during the holidays, it helps you get out of your own head and focus on others.
First and foremost, make your sobriety your top priority, because it is. Every morning set your intention..tell yourself that you are not going to drink. No matter what. Eliminate the option of drinking altogether. Remind yourself why you made the decision to live a life without alcohol…and that your ongoing sobriety is the biggest, most important, gift of the season.
And always eat the cake.

Until next time, be well,
Kerri Mac ??
by Kris Oyen | Nov 16, 2020 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Dusty took his last drink September 21, 2015. With exactly 5 years away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You…..by Paul Churchill
How to get your 300 Power Stance:
Grab a stick and stand in front of a mirror, put on some good music, bend the knees and ankles. Get low and grip the stick (or rake or broom). Become one with the stick. Look yourself in the eyes (in the mirror) and say, “I’m here, right now, what do you got?”, repeat, louder. Repeat and get lower. Find your stance. Focus on your connection to the earth. Pull up a painful moment from the past and change the script. Bring up the unfinish emotion and feel it. Remind yourself you are safe.
[16:00] Paul introduces Dusty.
Dusty is from Bozeman, MT. He’s a finance director for a local non-profit and just got engaged yesterday! For fun he likes to play rec sports. He goes hunting, camping, hiking and fishing in the beautiful weather he has in Bozeman.
[20:50] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Dusty said the day before his last drink was spent watching sports and he blacked out around 9:30pm. The next day his friend was leaving for an around-the-world trip and he went to her leaving drinks. The bartender that night came up to him and explained that if they were working that night Dusty would have been kicked out for his behavior the night before. Another friend of his, he had kicked in the backside and when he saw her, he saw fear in her eyes when she looked at him. He paid his tab and left the bar. Never touched alcohol again. His losing control was a big motivator for him to stay sober.
[25:34] When did you find community?
Dusty said he’s been very lucky to have known Paul Churchill for a while before he quit. Paul was the first person he told he quit drinking and knew that community would be there for him. At the time Recovery Elevator was just getting started and Dusty participated. He was surprised how easy it was for him to share his story.
[30:11] How have the years changed for you?
Dusty said the 1st year was exactly that, just getting through the 1st year without a drink. In year 2 the real healing began. In 2019 was when he realized alcohol was the symptom, not the problem. He grew up with a verbally abusive father and being scared as a child, his option was to freeze and stay quiet. Coming into year 5 he’s begun therapy to understand the deep stuff that is why he reached for alcohol.
[37:17] What was on your heart yesterday?
Dusty said yesterday reflecting on the timeline of his life and his drinking was a lot for him. There was anger and sadness about the pain he experienced growing up. He was dwelling a little on the negative and he was able to purge it and get it out.
[43:51] How has the relationship with yourself changed over the last 5 years?
Dusty said he loves himself a lot more and continues to work on that. He has more confidence. Loving himself better lets him love the world better as well. Dusty now gives himself grace and is no longer his own worst critic. His physical appearance and health overall has changed drastically for the better.
[46:27] When the shame and guilt from your initial motivator decreased, what filled its place as a new motivator?
Dusty said his pink cloud lasted for years. He could see how much better his life was from walking away from alcohol. Nothing in his life got worse, everything got better. So, the idea of taking one drink he knew would make his life worse again.
[48:55] Do you still get cravings?
Dusty said no, not anymore. Very few moments have made him want to have a drink.
[49:38] What do you do now when life throws you a curveball?
Dusty said exercise works for him. He goes for a run and gets in the zone. He will also try to sit with the emotions and see where it’s coming from. He’s lucky to have close friends and family and he can talk to them.
[54:05] Rapid Fire Round
- If you could talk to day 1 Dusty, what would you say?
Dusty, sit with the shame for a while, but don’t dwell on it forever. Use it for fuel. Enjoy the ride, all the ups and downs.
- What has recovery made possible for you?
He is more of a leader now.
- What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?
Ben & Jerry’s AmeriCone Dream or Cherry Garcia
- What book are you reading right now?
He’s reading a book about crows and ravens.
You may have to say adios to booze…
If you are a recurring guest on the Recovery Elevator podcast!
Paul’s recap:
2020- what happened?! As per the Mayan Calendar: there is a gigantic evolutionary leap that the race needs to go through. It’s a leap through consciousness, not a physical leap.
Those with addiction are forced to go within and address our own inner discomfort. Because we didn’t have a choice. Realizing our inner world is more real than the outer world.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
- You can find more information about our events here.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, Rule #22, we have to lighten up, we can do this– Go big, because eventually we all go home”
by Kris Oyen | Nov 9, 2020 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Desi took her last drink July 21, 2018. With just over 2 years away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
If you haven’t checked out the RE merchandise…what are you waiting for??
You can see what we have available here!
Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding your Better You…..
Hard days happen for everyone and don’t believe that highlight reel you see on Instagram! Odette calls these “dip days”. It’s ok to not thrive every single day, it’s ok to let feelings pass, it’s ok to be honest and you are not alone. 2020 is here to remind us we are stronger than we think and also what grief feels like.
Odette wants to share her tools for what helps her during these dip days.
- Eat
- Drink lots of water
- Meditate
- Laugh
- Remind yourself daily that you are not your productivity levels.
- Take your medications (if you are on any!)
[7:34] Odette introduces Desi.
Desi is 30 years old and lives in Michigan. She is finished up her Master’s in social work at University of Michigan (go blue!). In her spare time, she coaches high school lacrosse which is a huge passion of hers.
[12:38] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Desi said her journey started at the age of 7 with an eating disorder after being sexually abused. At the age of 14 a cousin passed away and that was a big turning point for her. Her family didn’t talk about emotions. And around this time, she started drinking as well. Her first drink wasn’t normal, and it flipped a switch: she wanted more. In college she made friends with a group of people who “didn’t make wise decisions” so neither did she. Life was very hard for Desi during this. In college she met another woman, Vera, who became her sister and she credits Vera with saving her life. In 2009 she began to have chest pains, which was always diagnosed as “anxiety”, but Desi knew it wasn’t. In 2012 her sister Lauren got her into a treatment center for her eating disorder. In her second time in ED rehab she tried to get sober. However, Desi considered herself a dry drunk. November 2014 she began drinking again.
[34:04] When you came out of treatment were you frustrated that you also had to remove alcohol?
Desi said she didn’t even think she had a problem with alcohol at first. She knew her eating disorder was killing her and that was her focus. She held onto all the other toxic things so she could cope. Desi was scared if she didn’t have other things to help her get through life.
[39:41] Tell me about the first couple months of your sobriety.
Desi said she worked a program with AA. She had severe withdrawal symptoms, but she was able to talk about it in AA. There was nothing left to hide, and Desi was very honest in her shares. She reflected back on what made her want to quit drinking in the first place. Staying connected and finding community was what helped.
[44:09] Did your anxiety get better?
Desi said yes. While she’s a naturally anxious person, her anxiety has leveled. She was able to get off medication. Where her anxiety used to sit is no longer there. She experiences anxiety just like other people do, because that’s life.
[46:28] Tell me about sharing openly.
Desi said she needed to be able to share, she looks at it as a duty. Her sharing helps other people. She tells her story for those close to her that passed away and weren’t able to tell theirs.
[50:50] Rapid Fire Round
- If you could talk to day 1 Desi, what would you say?
Hold, have hope, let people help you, and listen to others.
- What are you excited about right now?
An internship at UofM.
- What’s your go to response when someone offers you a drink?
No, I’m good.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners that are thinking about ditching the booze?
If you can think of best case scenario for your life, just know that without alcohol it’s 100% possible.
You may have to say adios to booze…
If you sneak out, get drunk, come back home, fall down the stairs, break your leg running to the bathroom to throw up.
Odette’s challenge this week:
Reach you, Odette is here for you.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
- You can find more information about our events here.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – We took the stairs down, we gotta take the elevator back up, we can do this– I love you guys”