by Paul Churchill | Apr 20, 2020 | Podcast
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Tom took his last drink February 16, 2019. This is his story.
On today’s episode Paul shares stories from listeners, and Café RE members, sharing their experiences during this Covid-19 pandemic. We’d love to hear how you are doing through this as well. Email your story to info@recoveryelevator.com.
Paul also reminds us to cut ourselves a break, practice self-love and compassion. He asks that you love yourself, regardless of where you are on this journey. For some free guided meditations, go here.
[18:55] Paul introduces Tom.
Tom is 64 years old and lives along the shore of Lake Erie, near Cleveland, OH. He is married and has 2 adult children, a son and a daughter. For work Tom is a graphic artist, and for fun Tom loves to cook, which led him to vegetable gardening, which is also a loved pastime of his. Tom is also a big history buff.
[26:55] Give us a background on your drinking.
Tom started drinking in high school and found it helped him overcome his shyness. He continued to drink regularly for about 18 years. He didn’t drink every day, was more of a binge drinker. Drinking made outgoing and he liked it.
In 1991 Tom got a DUI while driving home from a wedding. Up until that point Tom had never thought about quitting drinking. After getting the DUI he just stopped. He stopped for about 14 years.
[28:25] What happened after 14 years?
Tom said after 14 years he just started easing back into it, drinking occasionally. That continued from about 2005 to 2017. In 2017 Tom realized that his drinking was causing more anxiety than it was solving, and he became sober-curious.
[34:00] Was there a time during those 5 months of day 1s that you just wanted to give up?
Tom said it was more a frustration because it was ridiculously consistent and he couldn’t seem to break the habit. In February of 2019 Tom got the flu and missed a couple days of work, during which he drank, while trying to hide it. Tom’s wife called him out on it and on February 17, 2019, Tom joined Café RE and hasn’t had a drink since.
[39:00] What was it like when you reached out for additional accountability?
Tom said he thought, why should he do this alone, so after listening to the Recovery Elevator podcast he joined Café RE. He started getting posting videos and connecting with other members. The connections led to in-person meetups which are one of the biggest parts of Tom’s sobriety and life.
[47:47] What can you say to people out there that are struggling and can’t make it past day 1?
Tom says that when you are getting started you have to change everything that you are doing. He also suggests going for a walk until the cravings go away.
[55:22] What excuse did you used to tell yourself as to why you couldn’t quit drinking?
Tom said it was more of the excuse, why should he, rather than why he couldn’t.
[56:20] Rapid Fire Round
- What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?
That drinking wasn’t a solution for anxiety, it was more of a cause for anxiety.
- What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?
Meetups, absolutely meetups.
- What’s your favorite alcohol-free drink?
Virgin Canadian Whiskey and Diet Coke.
- What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol?
Meeting more people from Café RE.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Really connect, connect, connect on a personal level.
You might need to ditch the booze if…
You order a cello while drinking and you don’t play a musical instrument.
Upcoming Events and Retreats.
Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind – in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020
You can find more information about our event here.
The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this.”
by Paul Churchill | Apr 13, 2020 | Blog, Helpful Tips, Resources
Those in recovery have a head start. We’ve already begun the inner transformation that so many are just starting. This is a fun concept everyone that I get super excited about. It’s a deep one. I think you’ll understand why and I want you to come with me. I think you’re ready. I know you’re ready.
But first… Here is a long list of countries, capitals, and cities that have shut down the sale of alcohol, and don’t recognize them as essential businesses during the COVID. I hope you’re comfortable, this is a LONG list, I mean, get ready to be here for a while.
Cheers to South Africa (closed until April 16th), Nuuk, the capital Greenland, and the town of Aisne France (they cited an increase in domestic violence in homes which led to this decision).
The “long list” part was a joke. My goodness. If that’s not a wakeup call, I don’t know what it… And this is a precursor to where this post is going.
Essential Businesses
I first want to cover why liquor stores are considered essential businesses… I know many of you have sent me emails wondering the same… And here’s why.
The Mayor of Denver Colorado reversed his call of closing all liquor stores on March 23rd just two hours after announcing that liquor stores would close during the quarantine. I read a long article in the Denver Post the other day on why the quick reversal. It cited keeping jobs intact, preventing more unemployment claims, which all make sense. However, the most accurate response came at the end, which said, “the last thing we need right now is a bunch of people taking up hospital beds with for alcohol withdrawals.”
And there you have it. It’s that simple. Our society has found ourselves in such a pickle, that for many, pharmacies and liquor stores are contemporaneous or interchangeable. This has to change. It is changing.
Where have I heard that before?
The other day I was on the phone with our contact at the hotel in Denver for our upcoming event this June. I asked her how she was doing during the pandemic, and she said, “well, I’m taking it one day at a time.” “I bet you are,” I said… Now where I have heard that before? The big book of Atlas Shrugged? The Chronicles of Narnia?
Then a couple of days later, I dropped my bike off for a tune, which for sanity purposes is deemed an essential business in Colorado, and I asked the guy how he is doing. He said, well, it’s one bike at a time, and we’re all taking it day by day. I respond with, “You don’t say…”
Where have I heard these before? These are classic twelve-step program analogies that we’ve been using for decades. Fifteen years shy of a century, in fact. I’m like, “is everyone working a twelve-step program these days?” Not everyone, but more now than ever. Including those who don’t struggle with alcohol and aren’t aware they are even working the program.
So here is where we have a head start. We got started early with connecting the heart and soul internally, regardless of external circumstances. On building inner peace without a foreign substance such as pinot grigio, IPA’s, cigarettes, or donuts… Ahh. I’m not ready to give up donuts yet, but I think you get it.
In our own personal jail
Millions of people feel like they are locked up in their houses right now, in jail, inside their own homes with their families. I FaceTimed with my brother and his family yesterday, and they are STRUGGLING. His wife is pregnant, they are both working from home, and my 3-year-old nephew is no longer at daycare during working hours. My brother said he’s going crazy without his routine, the gym, working from home, and boredom.
Okay, here is where I encourage you to go deep with me. Are you ready? At my talk in February 2019 at our LIVE event in Nashville, I said that alcohol is an invitation to wake up. To recognize that real, long term happiness can never be tied with the external physical world. This could be a life partner, a pet, a spouse, a job, a house, or your ride on John Deere Greene lawnmower. Side note, the country artist Joe Diffie, who wrote the song John Deere Greene, recently passed away due to the Corona Virus. Guys, this shit is real.
We, who grapple with addiction, choose to receive this invitation early. As we are the primary wave, who have decided to do the inner work first and show the way for the rest of humanity. COVID 19, is the invitation for another wave to follow. Now, I may have just said some words that furrowed a brow or two. That was that we “choose” to receive this invitation, and we “decided” to do this inner work first. As in it was voluntary.
That’s a whole bundle of spirituality that I want you to think about for the rest of the day… to start sitting with. We had a webinar a couple of weeks ago titled “Spirituality and Addiction,” and this was the point that spiritual teacher Elaine Huang made. She said, “those who have the courage to go within and build inner stability without alcohol are paving the way, are leaving a footprint in consciousness for the rest humanity who are soon to follow.”
Now, this next part isn’t food for thought, but a concept that I believe in with all my heart. I’ve said this in previous episodes, in my book, at past retreats, and it’s more applicable now than ever.
Due to the stigma surrounding alcoholism and addiction in general, we often mentally shame ourselves to the back of the sociological cue. Telling ourselves that we have morally failed, that we messed up in life, and this couldn’t be further from the truth.
We are the teachers
In fact, we are the ones who said, “Okay, I guess I’ll quit drinking, do a bunch of internal work, find stability and then I’ll show my neighbor, cousin and brother Rod who don’t have drinking problems, how to build a sturdy internal foundation of joy that doesn’t care if the Seattle Seahawks win the Super Bowl or not.
Do you follow? These are expansive ideas that I hope you sit with, and lord knows many of us have found ourselves with more time to sit…
Okay, one more point about how we have a head start. If you’ve been around the recovery block, you’ve heard that gratitude is key to departing from an addiction. It’s INCREDIBLY important, and here’s a cool way that science shows how. It also hints at how we need inner change as opposed to vaccines to address COVID.
Like any other virus, (COVID-19) has a low vibration with a closed electromagnetic circuit structure, with a resonance frequency of approximately 5.5 Hz-14.5 Hz. In the highest ranges, it is not active and, starting with the ranges of 25.5 Hz and above, the virus dies…
These are low vibrations. For reference, fear has a vibration from 0.2 Hz to 2.2 Hz. Resentment, 0.6 Hz to 3.3Hz. These emotions or frequencies don’t feel good to experience, and I bet it doesn’t feel good to have the coronavirus.
Again, the virus dies above 25.5 Hz. A genuine thank you, or gratitude has a frequency of 45hz. Compassion for another 150Hz. And unconditional, universal, sacrificial love is at 205 Hz. When we practice gratitude and compassion, COVID, can’t survive in that environment. A micro at the cellular level that is being applied to the macro.
-Paul Churchill
by Paul Churchill | Apr 13, 2020 | Podcast
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Derek took his last drink August 22, 2019. This is his story.
On today’s episode Paul talks about what a Nolo drink is, non-alcoholic beers, and kombucha…and whether, or not, we should stay away from them if they have trace amounts of alcohol. He also talks about the roll, if any, that cannabis and plant medicine play in recovery.
Paul also explains about some of the changes taking place with Café RE. Sone of the changes is, starting on May 1st, 15% of the membership fees will dedicated towards a partnership with a non-profit organization that is geared towards helping those affected by addiction.
The link to the article where Paul gets his information from can be found here.
[15:35] Paul introduces Derek.
Derek is 35-year-old and is from New York City, currently living in Philadelphia, and is a real estate agent. Derek loves riding his bike and playing ping pong.
[18:42] Give us a background on your drinking.
Derek started drinking when he was 13 years old, drinking on the streets of New York. Derek realized that he loved the feeling of being out of control. When Derek was 17 years old his father was killed in the World Trade Center and he used alcohol to cover up those feelings. Alcohol helped him get through those brutal moments and became like his best friend. He says he continued to drink like that up until 6 months ago (his sobriety date) and those feelings are all coming back up.
[21:00] When did you start to realize that alcohol was not working for you?
Derek said it was about 3 years ago. The negative started to outweigh the positive.
[23:14] What happened when you realized this?
Derek said he started keeping track on a calendar of his drinking days, verses his non-drinking days. He tried to slow down. He started making negotiations with himself, like not drinking during the week, only drinking beer. One very drunk night he realized that he just had to stop, that moderation did not work for him.
[27:35] Why do you think willpower flew out the window when you were drinking?
Derek said that when he took that first sip he was no longer in control. He said it was like a monster that lived inside of him and every time he let it out, he was no longer in control.
[32:33] Talk to us about that moment you stopped drinking, and how you did it.
Derek said the first couple days were easy because he had such a bad hangover, but the first weekend was tough because he didn’t know what to do, that he had not gone a weekend without drinking in years and years. He said what he started to do was start to do the things he enjoyed again. He started to play the piano and guitar again, started to workout again.
[35:30] How did you do it after the first week?
Derek says he started watching YouTube videos of people that had gotten sober. He found the Recovery Elevator app…and then the podcast.
[37:20] What are some of the emotions you are facing now that you are no longer drinking?
Derek said that in a way he had never dealt with losing his dad in the way he had. He recently got married and could not share that with his father.
[38:10] What is important to you in life?
Derek says his health is one of the most important things to him. He said that also that just who he is, is important to him. Drinking made him a liar and selfish, and that has changed a lot. He now tries to be a better person overall.
[38:50] What are some strategies you use now, instead of drinking?
Derek says that exercise is big, he wakes up early to exercise. He has started using a steam sauna, ping pong, biking, outdoor activities. Derek also said that talking to other people that have similar stories, that he had just attended his first meeting.
[39:40] What roll has your wife played in this?
Derek said that his wife stopped drinking with him and that she has been his biggest supporter.
[43:30] Rapid Fire Round
- What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?
That I am stronger than I thought I was.
- What’s an excuse that you used to tell yourself for why you couldn’t quit drinking?
My friends, my social circle…what would I do, I wouldn’t have anyone.
- What’s your favorite alcohol-free drink?
Coffee or seltzer.
- What are some of your favorite resources?
Your podcast, I’m not just trying to blow smoke, it’s really helped me a lot.
- What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol?
To stay alcohol free is the number one thing, and I would like to travel again.
- What are your thoughts on relapse?
It’s never going to happen to me.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Just do it.
You might need to ditch the booze if…
You think you might need to ditch the booze.
Upcoming Events and Retreats.
Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind – in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020
You can find more information about our event here.
The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this.”
by Paul Churchill | Apr 6, 2020 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Raj took his last drink May 11, 2014. This is his story.
On today’s episode Paul zooms out and talks about the journey. If you are listening to this podcast you are an active participant in the center of the ring. Your conscious decision to ditch the booze places you in the center of the ring. Who is the critic when you’re in the ring grappling with alcohol? You are, but you can rewire those thoughts and become your greatest cheerleader.
Watch the video of the little girl not giving up here.
[16:05] Paul introduces Raj.
Raj is 54 years old and is from Las Angeles. He is divorced and has a 13-year-old son. Raj is an avid cyclist and says it keeps him sober.
[22:20] Give us a background on your drinking.
Raj says he didn’t really drink until college and even then, it was a very slow progression. In 1991 Raj started having adverse consequences to his drinking, such a getting a DUI and not getting hired for a job. In 2010, and the following 3 years, his drinking totally spiraled out of control.
[25:50] During this progression were you able to step back and see the writing on the wall?
Raj said he definitely did not. He said he lived in denial for over 20 years.
[26:46] Get us up to speed to May 2011.
Raj said he always performed well in his career; his drinking didn’t affect it. But in the summer of 2010 Raj had a serious biking accident and broke his ankle and was prescribed an insane amount of Vicodin. In a period of 4 months he watched his work productivity go to hell, actually getting put on probation at work.
Because work was always something that he could keep together, Raj said he lost it at this point. His drinking and drug use took off. That led to another DUI in May of 2011, which led him to the doors of AA.
[29:25] Fill in the gaps between your first AA meeting and May 2014?
Raj said he started going to AA and got a sponsor, but didn’t really do the steps. In 2012 he convinced himself that he didn’t have a drinking problem, but was still having blackouts and waking up in the hospital not knowing how he got there.
In November of 2012, after a locking himself in his hotel room while at a work retreat, causing a huge scene at the airport, and landing in the hospital again Raj was fired from his job. This led Raj to The Betty Ford treatment facility and Raj says this was his rock bottom moment.
Two more rehabs, another DUI, and Raj finally got sober in May of 2014.
[34:20] What happened next?
Raj said he started taking AA seriously, got a new sponsor that was pretty much an AA hard ass that took Raj through the 12 steps. Raj says he was just ready. He had to become humble, and willing to ask for help.
[38:05] What is an excuse that you used to tell yourself for why you couldn’t quit drinking?
One was he had a wine cellar, he had to drink all the wine. How would he deal with stress and anxiety?
[38:55] How do you deal with stress without alcohol?
Raj uses biking and exercise, AA meetings, talking to his sponsor, and spending time with his son.
[49:50] What do you think was one of the hardest things about quitting drinking?
Raj said it was trying to get the message down to his subconscious that he was no longer drinking.
[55:50] Rapid Fire Round
- What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?
That we can’t do this alone.
- What’s a memorable moment a life without alcohol has provided you?
My son was in a play at school and I was able to be present and witness it, and was able to tell him what an amazing job.
- What’s your favorite alcohol-free drink?
Club soda.
- What are some of your favorite resources?
The Big Book or AA is a terrific resource. Café RE UP, AA meetings when I am on the road especially.
- What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol?
There are a bunch bike challenges that I want to do.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
If you’re struggling at staying sober don’t give up.
You might need to ditch the booze if…
If you are driving drunk 300 miles with your 3-year-old child in the car.
Upcoming Events and Retreats.
Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind – in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020
You can find more information about our event here.
The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
BetterHelp
BetterHelp
Visit https://www.recoveryelevator.com/betterhelp and join the over 700,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at https://www.recoveryelevator.com/betterhelp
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this.”
by Paul Churchill | Mar 16, 2020 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Janine took her last drink October 6, 2019. This is her story.
If you have ever wanted to attend a Recovery Elevator event you should get yourself to Denver in June for the Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind – June 11-14th, 2020. This event will be, essentially, the closeout event for Recovery Elevator. You can find more information about our event here.
On today’s episode Paul talks about your comfort zone, why it’s important to have one, why it is so important to get outside of it, and how it is possible to get too far out of it. The true authentic you doesn’t exist in your comfort zone. Stepping outside your comfort zone even once, makes it easier that you’ll do it again.
As for ditching the booze, here are some strategies in regards to the comfort zone. Instead of quitting forever, aim for one day, or 50% of the days in a month. Burning the ships? Go at your own pace. 90 meetings in 90 days too much, aim for 1 a week, then 2 a week.
[20:00] Paul introduces Janine.
Janine is 32 years old and is from Pensacola, FL. She is married and has a 9-month-old daughter. Janine is a former kindergarten teacher. For fun she likes to go to the beach with her family, walking her dog and spending time with her daughter.
[24:00] Give us a background on your drinking.
Janine took her first drink when she was 17-years-old and she immediately loved the feeling it gave her. Through college she feels she drank like every other college student. Janine says her drinking didn’t take off until she started her teaching career, and that gradually over the years she was drinking more and more.
When she met her husband, and knew that it was something serious, she says she knew that she was going to have to do something about her drinking.
[26:45] Talk to us about the methods you used to try and control your drinking.
Janine said she tried them all. Switched from liquor to wine/beer. Still getting backout drunk after switching to wine she tried drinking a glass of water after every glass of wine. Not drinking during the week, but even when that worked, she was still getting blackout drunk all weekend.
[28:15] Was there a time when fear came in and you didn’t think you could stop?
Janine said yes, that that is exactly what happened.
[30:30] Can you tell us a little about postpartum depression?
Janine said for her she felt like she lost some of her identity, her whole life now revolved around another human being. She had days when she would look in the mirror and not even recognize herself. Her emotions were all over the place. Janine ended up going to her doctor and getting on antidepressants, but was still drinking.
[35:00] Tell us what happened next.
After trying to modify, by having no alcohol in the house, Janine said she went and bought 2 bottles of wine and drank them one night after the baby was in bed. She got blackout drunk, sent strange texts, and spent the next day crying and filled with anxiety. She couldn’t deny it anymore, she knew she had a problem and couldn’t control it.
Later that day her dad, a recovering alcoholic himself, called Janine. She says his first words were, “I just felt I needed to call and hear your voice.”. Janine said she just lost it and opened up to him for the first time.
[40:30] What was that first AA meeting like and what happened after that?
Janine said she was terrified to go that first meeting, but that after the meeting people came up and were very friendly. She said she was also comforted by the fact that there were other teachers there. She was still feeling like her life was over that first week.
[44:14] Was there a challenging moment when you wanted to drink, and how did you get past it?
Janine said she had several in the beginning. She said when those times came up, she would call a friend, or call her sponsor.
[45:25] How has the relationship with your husband changed?
Janine says her husband fully supports her and has also quit drinking. She feels like their relationship has gotten a lot deeper.
[54:30] Rapid Fire Round
- What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?
I would say when I made that last attempt to control my drinking by not having alcohol in my house
- What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you?
Spending my daughter’s 1st Christmas completely sober.
- What’s your favorite alcohol-free drink?
I am a big fan of water.
- What are some of your favorite resources?
I enjoy this podcast; I don’t get to attend AA meetings as much as I would like but I also enjoy reading.
- What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol?
I am actually thinking about taking up blogging.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
If you know in your heart that you can’t control your drinking anymore, don’t listen to the lies that your mind is telling you.
You might need to ditch the booze if…
You get blackout drunk while watching Dateline.
Upcoming Events and Retreats.
Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind – in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020
You can find more information about our event here.
The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this.”
