by Paul Churchill | Aug 5, 2019 | Podcast
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Daz took his last drink on November 5, 2018. This is his story.
This coming January Recovery Elevator is going to Thailand and Cambodia for 12 days. Space is limited. You can find more information about this event here
On today’s episode Paul discuses the double negative, not failing. If you find yourself struggling to say no, to picking up a drink, you are not failing. If you are not failing you are succeeding, accomplishing, flourishing, overcoming, conquering, thriving, winning, realizing your goal to become alcohol free.
Think about an accomplishment in your life that you are proud of. Did that come without a struggle? Most likely it did. That struggle did not represent failure. Growth is a big part of that struggle.
SHOW NOTES
[10:30] Paul introduces Daz.
Daz is 43 years old, has been married for 5 years, and has 2 beautiful little girls. He is from Vancouver Island and has lived in Vancouver for the last 17 years. For fun Daz plays guitar, writes and records a lot of music, and his latest addiction is knowledge in recovery.
[13:31] Give us a background on your drinking.
When Daz was 13 he had his first drink, and first drunk. At the age of 15 he was introduced to smoking pot which very quickly became a daily thing. An honor roll student until his senior year of high school, when other drugs were introduced, and things really started to nosedive.
Daz didn’t start drinking regularly until he was 19. It then quickly became a daily thing, helping him come out of his shell and be more social. It became a staple that stuck with him through his 20s.
Daz hit his rock bottom on April 20, 2005. He had gone through a really dysfunctional relationship and his life had completely veered off the path that he had expected. He was ready to throw in the towel on life. Daz called his parents at 2AM and told them he didn’t know what to do, that he thought he wanted to just go and finish it off. His parents got him to come home and that was his first attempt to get sober. It lasted a couple weeks, through the Christmas holidays, and he attended his first AA meetings while there.
When he got back to Vancouver things went back to the way they had been for about another year. He was struggling to get by, working in bars and drinking on the job. Found himself in legal trouble and soon couldn’t pay his rent. Daz says he was one step away from living on the street.
[19:00] That was early 2007, bridge the gap for us.
Daz entered a 2-month treatment center and says that was the beginning of him starting to stand up and dust himself off. It gave him time to think about what he was going to do with his life. He worked in the fitness industry for a couple years.
He started to slide back into drinking but had enough of a foundation at this time, and had left some of the other drugs behind, that things were starting to get on the right path.
He moved from the fitness industry into the software business and started performing music in the evenings. This gave him something to be excited about and even though he was still drinking he now felt he had a purpose.
Daz met his wife 7 years ago, 1.5 years later they had their first baby, and 2-3 years ago he went to the doctor and was told he had a fatty liver.
[21:55] What happened next?
He now has his 2nd baby and a fatty liver. His doctor told him if he didn’t stop drinking, he would be dead in 10 years. That was the motivation Daz needed. He had gone through the 12 steps of AA while in the treatment center but just never felt like that was for him. What he found was something called, Neuro Recover, which is an IV treatment where the person is hooked up to an IV for 8 hours a day, for 10 days. He says he soon realized that being sober is not just about not drinking, it’s about rebuilding your body.
After a few months Daz went back ‘out’. When he was ready to try again, he came with more of a plan and was going to include community. He did the IV treatment for 3 days.
On day 5 he was having back and leg pain, anxiety, and feeling frustrated. Daz says he was almost ready to go get alcohol. Instead of going to the store for alcohol he recalled reading that L-glutamine can help with alcohol cravings. Having some in his cupboard he drank some and says that instantly the craving was gone. Daz started attending SMART Recovery soon after.
[32:32] What are your qualms about AA?
Daz says his biggest qualm is the powerless aspect. He feels to overcome addiction you need to be empowered.
[39:16] What would you say to someone looking to get sober, that has tried AA, and is looking for something else?
Daz would suggest the SMART Recovery community, RE Café’ Facebook groups, L-glutamine. He would tell them to stay connected with people, and that diet is important.
[44:14] What are your thoughts on relapse?
Daz says he doesn’t think relapse is a bad thing, that it is just part of the process. He says people shouldn’t be too negative about it as long as you are continuing on and learning to understand yourself, the body, and how it works.
[47:41] Where does spirituality come into play on this journey?
Daz is not a religious person, per-se, but he thinks it’s really important for people to stop and look inward, and turn other things off.
[48:50] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
Driving down the road and not being able to keep his hands on the steering wheel because he was shaking so badly.
- What is your plan moving forward?
My plan moving forward is to finish my website that I have been working on, like I said, it’s EmpoweredNotPowerless.com. Continue going to SMART meetings and I have some people that I am close to and to just continue to help each other. To continue to lead by example.
- What is your favorite resource?
Get yourself some glutamine, don’t leave out the supplementation part of recovery. You’ve been killing yourself for years and your body needs to heal itself. I would also shout out Omar Pinto and the SHAIR podcast. Another book I would recommend is Addicted to the Monkey Mind.
- What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?
When it feels like it’s impossible, it’s not.
- You might have a drinking problem if…
You need to pull over on the side of the road because you can’t control your shaking.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Jul 22, 2019 | Podcast
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Odette, took her last drink on December 17, 2018. This is her story.
On today’s episode Paul talks about control and how it relates to the level of an addiction. The more our drinking gets out of control the more we try and control our external environments. This is the main driver why control is such an important concept to deepen with so we can become aware of the level of control we placing on the external environment.
We are left with 2 choices. Option 1 is to do nothing, and that is not what this podcast is about. That leaves us with option 2. Get ready to saddle up. Once an addiction is been acknowledged it can no longer be ignored, and it cannot be addressed without making major life changes. Changes like a new self-image, your perception, a new consciousness, your ideas and beliefs, your entire life’s foundations. That’s a lot of change, and as humans we resist change.
SHOW NOTES
[8:10] Paul introduces Odette.
Paul first chatted with Odette on episode 128, which came out on July 31st 2017, when she had 1 week of sobriety, he encourages you to go back and listen to that episode. Today, Odette hit a big milestone…she has 6 months of sobriety.
Odette is originally from Guadalajara, Mexico, but has been living in San Diego for almost 10 years. She is married and a mom to 2 toddlers, Max and Sienna. She works fulltime at WeWork. Odette loves bowling for fun, says it’s probably her favorite thing, and she will fight anyone who says that it’s not a sport. She also loves to try new teas and lately you will find her doing puzzles.
[11:50] Give us a background on your drinking.
Odette says she’s been in the recovery world for a decade. Her dad is a recovering alcoholic and he’s about to hit his 10 year, so she was first exposed to recovery through him. She likes to say that his addiction has become the biggest gift, not just to herself, but to her entire family. Odette also developed an eating disorder, which she says is her first addiction, if it has to be labeled. Odette says that although she’s been in the recovery world for a while, in terms of drinking, she thinks she falls into the ‘gray area drinker’ category. She doesn’t have a catastrophic story to tell in terms of her relationship with alcohol.
Because of this it’s been a real journey for Odette to figure out if she really belonged here or if she didn’t belong here, if she really had a problem with drinking. What really changed things for Odette was something that she keeps telling people. You don’t have to have a serious drinking problem to have a problem with drinking, and she definitely knew that she had a problem with drinking.
[16:05] In regards to alcohol and your eating disorder, what is your thoughts on addiction whack-a-mole?
Odette thinks addiction whack-a-mole is a thing and that it is really important that we become ambassadors of being graceful to ourselves. The addictions become more manageable now, not because it’s easier, but because there’s this sense of awareness. Odette says she still sometimes eats when she’s not hungry, and that things that are part of her eating disorder chapter still come up, but she is aware of it now. She realizes that she just didn’t want to feel the feelings, so she ate.
[21:43] Talk to us about the time between when you were first on the podcast until now?
Odette struggled a lot, because, she says she is a binary person, and is like a lot of others in recovery who are in that gray area. And not just with drinking but the gray area of life. She loves fitting in boxes and labeling herself, and that is something that she really been trying to detach from these last 6 months. She stopped questioning where she belonged and if she belonged and started asking herself different questions, like how she was feeling when she drank or if she was trying to cope with something. She had to get a little creative with her questions because she was getting the same results when asking the same old questions.
[26:55] Talk to us about the unknown and how you leaned into it.
The unknown is very scary for Odette. She knew, as she was stacking days this third time around, that fear was going to creep up on her. So she grounded herself with people who have really good messages around fear because she didn’t expect that fear to go away. She learned to develop a different relationship with her fear.
[34:33] Let’s talk about the concept of internal vs. external, where do you feel you are?
Odette feels like it’s shifting, and that she is discovering a lot of things. She also believes a lot of it is linked to her eating disorder because she did not have a connection with her body was feeling at all. Odette has been focusing on the internal and the physical.
[36:40] Share with us how fun it is to meet up at our retreats, like our one coming up in Bozeman next month.
Odette says she stopped calling them retreats and has started calling them “sober camp”, because they are just that much fun. Bozeman will be Odette’s 3rd retreat and says that they are such amazing fuel and that the connections and friendships she has made are now like family.
[37:50] Talk to us about a time, in the last 6 months, that it got tough and you overcame it without alcohol?
The last 3-4 months have been extremely challenging for Odette. As all the layers are coming off Odette says it feels very raw and at times very heartbreaking. She has done a lot of reconciling the last 5 months with decisions from the past. She says she is not living in the past, but reconciling with what has brought her to where she is right now.
[42:30] Talk to us about the emotion, Joy, and when it first showed up for you.
Odette used to have so many highs and so many lows it was though she was on a roller coaster. Nowadays she aims for contentment. She lets things pass her by and finds joy in the smallest things. She finds herself getting teary eyed just looking at her daughter or while listening to a song while driving. For Odette joy is found in the simple things and the quietness.
[47:05] What themes are you exploring right now in your recovery?
Intention is a big one, and not being tied to an outcome. Odette feels like she was tied to external outcomes in the beginning and she is distancing herself from that now. Also, she says she is learning to let go of control.
[51:00] Walk us through a day in your recovery.
Odette is an early riser and wakes up between 4:30-5:00 AM. Exercise is one of her biggest tools in her tool belt so she tries to get in some sort of it first thing in the morning. She does daily reading each morning and spends some quality time with her family. She goes to work, listens to a podcast or Marco Polo’s with someone, and spends her lunch outside because nature is another big tool in her tool belt. After work she is busy being mom, making dinner and lunches. She has a BBT rule…bed by ten. Her weekends are slower and way less structured.
[55:44] Rapid Fire Round
- In regards to sobriety what is the best advice you have ever received?
You can’t do this alone…but you have to be your own cheerleader.
- What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?
Trust your gut.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You burn all the ships and you still drink.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Jun 24, 2019 | Podcast
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Chris, with a sobriety date of February 12, 2019, shares his story.
On today’s episode Paul shares 8 strategies that you can implement when you are going through hard times.
- Everything can, and will, change.
- You’ve overcome challenges before.
- Recognize this life situation as a learning experience, AKA an opportunity.
- You may not be getting what you want, but you are getting what you need.
- Lighten up, do not take yourself to seriously.
- You can self-medicate with kindness to yourself.
- Don’t make it worse by taking on other people’s tough times.
- There is always something to be happy for.
SHOW NOTES:
[13:40] Paul introduces Chris.
Chris has been sober since February 12, 2019, and is 35 years old. He is a technology trainer for a finance company. He is divorced and has three boys, ages 15, 10, and 7. For fun Chris likes to sing and play guitar in a band, he also does improv and stand-up comedy. Since getting sober he is exercising a lot.
[14:20] When did you start drinking?
He had his first drink, tequila he had stolen from his parents, at the age of 11. He was in an AOL chat room at the time and he says it gave him liquid courage to chat freely, and he was hooked.
[16:20] Give us a more background about your drinking.
Chris’s drinking didn’t really get going until his sophomore year of high school. It ramped up quickly and he was experiencing black outs by his junior year. Chris also got his 1st, of 3, DUIs his junior year of high school. He started losing friends and girlfriends because of his drinking and by his senior year he was trying to get sober. He started college after high school and got his 2nd DUI at 19 years old. His first son was also born when Chris was 19. For the majority of his 20’s he replaced his drinking with marijuana. He married the mother of his son and they had two more. In 2013 they got divorced. Chris’s pot smoking was a big part of why they got divorced. After his divorce he went back to drinking. Within a month, at the age of 29, Chris got his 3rd DUI.
[25:58] Was there some sobriety time between 2013 and February 2019?
He had some forced sobriety time due to being on probation from his 3rd DUI. When all his legal issues were over in 2015, he went back to smoking pot and drinking, and he added taking Adderall into the mix. On February 11th he went to a family member and told them that he was taking Adderall and not as prescribed. He wanted help. The first 3 days of his sobriety he stayed with family. He also called the doctor that prescribed the Adderall and “burnt the ships”.
[33:55] What was your first month off the substances like?
It took him a few days to get his sleep schedule back to normal, but Chris says he had so much fun that the first weekend he spent with his boys off of all substances. He started to flip things around and instead of looking at sobriety as missing out on something he started looking at it as what he was gaining. He was choosing to be happy, and he was.
[40:10] What are some of the tools you’ve used these last 4 months?
He listens to recovery podcasts, like Recovery Elevator and Recovery Happy Hour. The online support group and forum is always there. Chris also reads a lot of self-help books.
[43:00] What advice would you give to your younger self?
He would tell himself to love himself more and that he is worth more than he thinks, but he also feels like he needed to go through all the things he went though to get to where he is now.
[44:45] Do you know why you were using substances?
Chris says that his internal self didn’t feel good enough, and to hide those feelings he used.
[45:50] What have you learned about yourself, along the way, that stands out?
Chris leaned that he can change, that he is capable of positive change.
[47:00] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
Getting so drunk at a neighbor’s house that his kids had to go home to their mother’s house and having to call the next morning, realizing his drinking was affecting his kids.
- What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward?
To keep moving and not get comfortable.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
If you think you have an issue then you probably do, try quitting for 30 days. You can do it.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You’re listening to this podcast. Also, if you’re shopping for fancy craft beer and you have to look at the alcohol by volume percentage of each beer, before you buy it. And if you don’t find the alcohol by volume you break out your phone and google it, because anything under 5% would not be worth the can allowance.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
BetterHelp
Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Jun 3, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Gerald, with a sobriety date of November 16, 2015, shares his story.
Registration for the RE Asia Adventure is now open! You can register and get more information about this event here
On a recent Café’ RE webinar, our host Odette, who is a sobriety warrior, brought a fantastic topic to the webinar. The Cherokee parable titled Two Wolves. It is about an old Cherokee teaching his grandson about life. He tells the grandson that he has a fight going on inside him between two wolves. One is evil, the other is good.
The grandson thought for a moment and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old Cherokee replied, “The one you feed.”
This same fight is going on inside all of us. But we should refrain from labeling our wolves ‘evil’ and ‘good’, because they are both equally important. We tend to feed our ‘evil’ wolf more, because it’s source of energy doesn’t require much action. When this wolf gets thirsty, we feed it alcohol. The ‘good’ wolf takes more effort and energy to feed, it craves sobriety.
Because both wolves are equally important, we cannot ignore the ‘evil’ one, we must acknowledge it and that will keep it happy. When we ignore one, we become unbalanced.
SHOW NOTES
[13:00] Paul introduces Gerald.
Gerald is 50 years old and lives in Boulder, CO with his family. He was born and raised in Connecticut, where he went to a private school and private college. Skiing and biking are Gerald’s passions.
[15:50] Give us a little background about your drinking.
Gerald started drinking when he was in high school. Through high school and college his drinking was only an occasional/weekend thing. After moving to Boulder, he cut back on his drinking because he was staying active biking and training for triathlons.
At the age of 30 he decided he wanted to go to culinary school and stopped exercising and started eating, and his drinking picked up. He gained 40 pounds. In 2011 he decided he wanted to lose the weight, so he got back on his bike, cut back on his drinking, and in 8 months lost the 40 he had gained.
When he was 43 Gerald lost his job and the decrease in income forced him and his family to move in with his in-laws. While he appreciated what his in-laws were doing for him and his family, he says it really started to take its toll on him and the way he felt as a man. This is when his drinking really started to progress.
[19:11] What happened after that?
In April of 2015 he lost another job. The pattern was starting to solidify. This was also when he really started to get into personal development.
[20:20] Did you start to see the role that alcohol was playing in your life?
Gerald said only looking backwards. He didn’t see it at the time. He thought he drank the same as all his friends, and that nobody ever pulled him aside or suggested he had a drinking problem. He did stop drinking for 3 weeks and nobody seemed to notice, so he went back to his normal and kept on drinking.
[21:55] What happened on November 16, 2015?
Gerald was on his way home from his job at a brewery and was invited to a going away party for someone from work. After grabbing alcohol from work, and drinking even more from the party, he got behind the wheel, took a turn and hit the curb hard enough to employ his side airbag…right in front of a cop. He got a DUI.
[23:00] Was this your rock bottom moment?
Gerald says it was the moment that he knew he had to change something. He got kicked out of his in-law’s house that night and lost his job a few days later. He found himself starting at ground zero again.
[28:45] What was day 1 like?
On day 1 Gerald kept an appointment with his blog coach, which he had made prior to his DUI. He says that appointment was transformational. It helped him begin to understand that he had a different purpose. Instead of doing what he just wanted to do he was trying to create something of value. Providing more value to people made the biggest difference in his life.
[30:56] Walk us through that first week, that first month.
Connection with his family made the biggest difference, and understanding that he was moving away from something while moving towards something else. Instead of trying to avoid drinking he started looking forward to other things like creating content and spending time with his kids.
**Gerald wrote a book titled, My Morning Practice: How to Put Down the Bottle, Escape Mediocrity, and Master Your Morning Mindset**
[35:15] Talk to us about how changing one little habit in the morning can make a tremendous change in your life.
Gerald starting noticing that most of the most successful people on the planet all had a morning routine. A lot of those routines included exercise. Gerald decided to write 10 ideas down every morning. About a month later he heard about a bike challenge so he adding biking to his mornings. He continued to add things to his routine. This routine gave Gerald the time and the space to really think about what is important to him.
[40:00] Walk us through a good morning routine for listeners that are new in sobriety.
First thing is to cut back time from what you are doing in the evening, less TV for example, so you can get to bed a little earlier and wake up a little earlier. Then take it a bite sized piece at a time, adding only one thing at a time and being consistent with that one thing before adding more.
[47:08] What have you learned about yourself in sobriety?
He’s learned that he has a growth mindset and if there’s a skill out there that he wants to learn he can accomplish it.
[48:00] Where can we find you and your book?
You can find his book on Amazon right here. You can find Gerald himself through his email, gerald@geraldrhodes.com , or his website, https://www.geraldrhodes.com/ .
[48:30] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
My son’ 8th birthday, my ex-wife and I got into this huge fight, it was a mess and it was all because I was drunk.
- When was your ah-ha moment?
I was watching a video by Bob Proctor and the message he gave led to my big ah-ha moment.
- What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward?
My morning practice, it has served me very well.
- Apart from your morning routine, what’s your favorite resource in recovery?
A book by Gary John Bishop called Unfu*k Yourself and listening to books on Audible.
- In regards to sobriety what is the best advice you have received?
That I am a miracle.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Take a few minutes every day to do something that you love and to think about what’s most important to you.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You take home white wine spritzers in a to go cup.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Betterhelp
Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. For (podcast name) listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | May 20, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Ryan, with 90 days of sobriety, shares his story.
On today’s podcast Paul talks about the 3 major players when it comes to sobriety. The players are; the mind, the body, and the breath. Paul likes to call this the 20/40/40 rule, because that is how we should allocate the importance to these 3 major players.
The mind (20%) should be used as a radar to scan the body, do not try and use the mind to solve addiction. The body (40%) never lies, it is your unconscious mind. The breath (40%) is like your fighter jet. Once your mind has located where on your body your energetic mass has accumulated get in your fighter jet (the breath) and start building circuits in this area.
SHOW NOTES
[12:15] Paul introduces Ryan.
Ryan lives in Sacramento, Ca. He works in sales for a large software company. He is 35 years old and got married last year. For fun Ryan likes anything outdoors. He enjoys snowboarding, hiking, running, and he is currently training for a half marathon. Ryan says he is an extrovert and gets a lot of energy hanging out and talking with people and friends.
[14:20] Give us a little background about your drinking.
Ryan had his first drink at 14 years old. Throughout high school he played a lot of sports and only drank on the weekends. His drinking ramped up in college. He joined a fraternity and was always the guy that you could count on to do crazy things. Looking back, he can see that his drinking ramped up in college and it never stopped once he was out of college.
Even though he would go periods when drinking didn’t seem to be a problem, he would then be back to blacking out again and drinking like he was in college.
[16:30] When did you start to realize that alcohol was a problem?
Ryan says that is tricky, because even though he would wake up and not remember things from the night before his friends were doing the same thing, and they’d be making jokes about it.
But when he was 21, he woke in the hospital and they told him he had a .39 blood alcohol level (BAC). Someone had called an ambulance. He says that that was probably not the only time his BAC had been that high. He felt the problem was the fact that he was blacking out, and that is what he tried to address, which is why he continued to drink for the next 10-15 years.
[18:25] In your 20s was there a specific moment that you tried to take action in regards to your drinking?
Ryan says no. He felt he was in his 20s and he was having fun. He was still functioning and finding success in his career. He did try putting some rules on his drinking but says he never really wanted to stop drinking during his 20s, he just wanted to stop blacking out.
[19:30] When did you realize that to stop blacking out wasn’t an option, but that you had to address the alcohol.
Ryan says he doesn’t really feel he ever had quitting on the table until 90 days ago. He took breaks, but never with the intention of quitting. Even after being diagnosed with type I diabetes at the age of 29 he didn’t think he should stop drinking, instead his thoughts were, “will I be able to drink again?”.
[23:20] What happened 90 days ago?
More than anything Ryan says he was just sick and tired of being sick and tired. He also says his wife played a big role in it. After a work trip to Vegas and blacking out, losing his phone and credit card, and his wife not being able to get a hold of him he realized just how scared she was when he got home. Scared that something really bad could have happened to him. He knew then he had to stop drinking.
[28:15] What was the first week, the first month, after Vegas like?
He felt empowered and knew he was going to do it. He wasn’t sure how he was going to do it, was definitely scared, but knew he was going to do it. First and foremost, his wife said that she would quit with him. He started reading books about alcohol/alcoholism. He started looking at all the opportunities that giving up alcohol would bring.
[33:07] What are some of the big things you’ve learned in the last 90 days without alcohol?
He’s learned to be more present and more mindful.
[36:20] Do you know why you drank?
He feels it had to do with his ego and a sense of identification. Growing up he identified himself as an athlete, in college he could no longer truly do that. College was the first time he was away from his twin brother so he was building his own identity. He became the fun, social, crazy guy and he thinks that was his why.
[39:00] What’s on your bucket list in sobriety?
Ryan doesn’t have a bucket list, or a list of things he wants to get done. He is just taking action in the moment when he wants to do something.
[39:38] Is there anything you would have done differently while getting sober?
He would have done it sooner.
[39:46] What’s the biggest obstacle you’ve encountered in the last 90 days?
He says it’s been the anxiety leading up to, and before, telling people about his sobriety.
[41:30] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
There’s no worst, there’s just lots of really bad memories. From being in the drunk tank, to the hospital, to passing out in random places.
- Do you remember a specific ‘oh-shit’ moment?
When I went to the hospital my senior year with that .39 BAC.
- What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward?
I don’t have a true plan; I think that’s part of the plan. It’s not that I’m focused on just being sober. I’m focused on being the best version of myself and that just happens to include sobriety.
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery?
Honestly, this podcast and my wife.
- In regards to sobriety what is the best advice you’ve ever received?
Don’t let the past dictate your future.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Stop worrying about if you’re an alcoholic or not, who cares about the labels? Ask yourself, does drinking cause you problems in any part of your life? And if so, then it’s a problem and you can fix that problem by not drinking.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You refuse to listen to someone’s story about sobriety because you don’t actually want to stop drinking alcohol, you just want all the problems from drinking alcohol to magically go away.
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