by Paul Churchill | Jul 10, 2017 | Podcast
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Paul discusses the webinar, which took place in Café Re, and focused on why taking action is so hard. It’s much better to focus on the action and not the results. We are definitely in a results oriented society. Focus on the journey and not the destination. Success can follow a flawed effort, and failure can follow a flawless effort.
If your happiness is predicated on your success, and if your success is predicated on a specific outcome, then you are setting yourself up for a high likelihood of frustration and disappointment. If you instead let go the need for any particular outcome, you increase your chances for success and contentment. View each attempt as practice for the next attempt.
Dawn with a sobriety date of November 27th 2016, shares her story.
SHOW NOTES
[8:09] Paul Introduces Dawn. I’m single, 42, and I’m from Poole in the U.K. In the daytime I work in accounts, in the evening I’m generally working on my blog. I love going out to dinner with friends, and walking to work. Set myself a challenge to do 10,000 steps a day.
[10:10] Paul- Tell us more about this experiment to live you life without alcohol.
Dawn- The plan was to give up alcohol for a year. I was struck down with flu, and I gave up alcohol then, instead of waiting until the New Year. I decided to write down my journey, and document it on my blog. It’s been filled with positivity.
[13:35] Paul- The way I’ve made it this far in sobriety, and been successful, is that I looking at it as an opportunity instead of a sacrifice. Is that something that you are experiencing as well? You’re looking at this as an opportunity instead of a sacrifice?
Dawn- Yeah, definitely. I don’t think I realized how unhappy I was drinking. I was more of a binge drinker than a drink everyday, drink in the morning type person. My weekend would be properly drinking from Friday through Sunday. Drinking copious amounts of alcohol to the point that I was sick the next day. I don’t see that as a sacrifice, giving that up that kind of mentality, since it was so much binging and purging.
[14:53] Paul- When did you first realize that perhaps that you wanted to quit drinking? Was it something that happened?
Dawn- I was conscience that I was drinking too much in one sitting, not remembering how I got home, kind of dangerous drinking really. If I drove somewhere I would have nothing, instead of a single glass of wine. Because if I had one, it wouldn’t stay at one. Once I started, it was difficult to stop.
[18:06] Paul- Can you tell me about a time when you started drinking and you found the “off switch” a little difficult to find? Was that progressive for you? Did it become harder and harder to stop?
Dawn- Yeah, I was born without an “off switch”. The first time I really remember getting drunk I was probably about 15 or 16. Early twenties living with friends, drinking was a massive part of our lives together. The men that I met were a massive part of that as well. It didn’t spiral rapidly.
[22:16] Paul- How are you staying sober now?
Dawn- It’s a matter of changing everything. I thought life would carry on the same. Everything has changed. I write a post for my blog at least once a week. Trying to keep other people encouraged to carry on. I used to always have a special drink as a reward for hard work. I no longer do that. I have a drink when I am thirsty.
[26:31] Paul- There’s a quote in recovery- You don’t have to change much, you just gotta change everything. Is that how it went down for you?
Dawn- I still struggle with the social side of things. I was the party animal. It’s difficult to go from that to- it’s dark and I’ve got to get home. I find it hard to socialize without alcohol. I’m not good with big crowds. I’ve come to terms that I won’t be that person again.
[28:40] Paul- What have you learned most about yourself in these past 6 months of sobriety?
Dawn- I’ve never really believed in loving yourself. Now I keep saying to people you have to love yourself. I haven’t loved myself for 40 years. I realized I’m not the person I thought I was. In my previous job I wasn’t really helping people and I didn’t think I could. It’s being confident in myself, rather than what other people think.
[31:31] Paul- How do you feel about alcohol being an addictive substance, and perhaps there is no void?
Dawn- For me, the feeling is what was addictive. I was the crier. Alcohol gave me an emotional release. For me it gave me an emotional release, woe is me! For a window of 15 minutes I would feel amazing, then I would go over the top. Then you’re miserable. I think really it was the way it made me feel for 15 minutes before the crying would start.
[33:27] Paul- What are your goals in sobriety?
Dawn- I’ve always wanted to go to Thailand. Stop waiting around for something to happen. I was too tired, and lazy, and in bed. Now I’m full of energy, and I’m going to make it happen on my own in January.
[35:18] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? Getting home, and waking up the next day at 4:00, and not remembering getting home in a taxi.
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? I was a drunk texter. Sometimes I couldn’t even touch my phone. They were my worst moments really working out who I had contacted the night before.
- What’s your plan moving forward? Keep the blog going beyond being sober. Maybe the hope rehab center in January. Listening to podcasts more than music, listening to other people’s journeys.
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? I love the online forums. Club soda, team sober UK, and listening to Podcasts. It is amazing listening to other peoples journeys
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? The best thing to do is go for each day at a time. Breaking it into chunks can work. Un-break the habit.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Never give up. I admire those who never give up. I recommend writing down how you’re feeling. I literally flooded my mind with sobriety.
- You might be an alcoholic if you find yourself questioning that you might be an alcoholic, then you probably are.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
dawn@soberfish.co.uk
http://www.soberfish.co.uk
http://www.belvoirfruitfarms.com/
Recovery Elevator Retreat
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Paul Churchill | Jul 3, 2017 | Podcast
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Garrett, with 16 days since his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[ 9:15 ] Paul Introduces Garrett. I’ve had stretches of sobriety, I had 14 months, and I’ve had 3 years. I live in Southern California, in Santa Clarita. I work in outside sales, which is a non-structured job perfect for an alcoholic with hangovers. I’m 43, married, like going to Dodger Games. I have 2 kids, 1 in high school, and one in junior high.
[10:45] Paul– What was the impotence behind you quitting alcohol for 3 years, and then for 14 months?
Garrett- The hangovers for me are the body’s way of saying you’ve put a bunch of poison willingly in your body, and this is the result of it. I would be laid out for a full day. Thinking in the moment there is no possible way this could happen again. The feeling in my stomach, I can’t move, or get out of the bed until 4:00 or 5:00 in the evening. One of those times I stopped for 3 years, didn’t go to any program. I lost weight, and started drinking again without any reason. I would romanticize drinking, and once I got the buzz, there was no way I could stop now. I would have to drink to continue with only a short window of feeling good. The cost of that was being completely laid out the entire next day.
[13:35] Paul– What was it like when you first drank after 3 years? Do you remember the first night? Did you pick up right where you left off?
Garrett– No, not really. It was a gradual thing, a slow buildup. My elevator is kind of chaotic; it’s like the elevator at the tower of terror at Disney world. At that point it was gradual. I would wait for people to go to sleep, get a six-pack, and when that was gone, drunk drive to the liquor store and buy some more. I would start with a bottle of wine, then I would go back to the store for tall boys. I don’t know how many I would buy, but I would wake out, the room would start completely shaking, I would close my eyes, and that would be it.
[15:45] Paul- Garrett you mentioned a word earlier that I would like to explore- Fascinating. You would tell yourself I’m only having a couple, but then just game on. Can you tell me more about that fascinating part for you?
Garrett- It was complete and total amnesia every single time. Forgetting the hangovers. The amount of times I would lose not doing the things I wanted to do because I would be hung-over. Because I’m not a bum in the street, I didn’t feel I was a true alcoholic.
[19:30] Paul- Was there a rock bottom moment 16 days ago? How come you quit drinking?
Garrett- It wasn’t a single rock bottom. I have season tickets for the Dodgers. If there was ever a sport made for sitting and drinking beer it is baseball. The beer vendor at the stadium recognized me; I would have to go different vendors because I was embarrassed. The drunk driving home from the games, then going to bars, then drunk driving home again. I dented the garage with my car, and realized with a moment of clarity that this sh#t has got to stop.
[22: 01] Paul– Before I hit the record button you mentioned you felt like you were ping ponging back and forth between: Am I an alcoholic? Do I have a drinking problem? Tell us more about that.
Garrett- It was a stretch of a few days where I would just continually have a few days (of sobriety), and then I would be like “I’m not” because I would have a few days and that proves it. The hangover goes away and I would think I’m not (an alcoholic) again.
[ 24:00] Paul– Is it harder this time around, do you remember?
Garrett– This time I’ve got 16 days. I’m trying to arm myself with some resources. I’m in a Pink Cloud at the moment. History does repeat itself, and I have a plan to address what I know is going to start coming down the road. The key thing is accountability. I never had accountability with another person. I think if I were not anonymous, I wouldn’t have taken that first drink on the New Port Harbor cruise after 14 months of sobriety.
[27:57] Paul– You mentioned you had a bad experience with AA, tell me more about that.
Garrett– I was raised Christian evangelical, about 10 years ago I broke with that, and I am an atheist now. I saw a lot of the judgment, dogma and there was trust that was broken in AA. That combined with the God thing I’m still wrestling with. I need to focus on the positive. I’m ready to explore going back to AA, maybe a different meeting time.
[30:14] Paul– With 16 days of sobriety, what have you learned most about yourself?
Garrett– This time around is more of a sense of inner peace. What I’m realizing now is that I don’t have to keep living the way I was living. There’s no reason I have to pick up a drink again. My life does not have to be how it’s been. I’m choosing not to drink. When cravings strike, I’ve been setting a timer on my apple watch to allow the 20 minutes to pass.
[34:10] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking?
Waking up and having to tell my wife that I was too hung-over to go down to my mom’s house for Easter. Then spending the entire day in a state of despair.
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Back in college when I just got too hung-over and missed a final. That was the first “oh-shit” moment.
- What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward? Accountability. Reaching out and talking to other alcoholics, and seeking ways to help each other.
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Podcasts, Recovery Elevator, and the big book on my kindle.
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? You don’t ever have to drink again if you don’t want to.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? If you were thinking about getting sober… I would say: Do it, you’ll never feel better.
- You might be an alcoholic if: Every night after you down many many bottles of beer, that you put those bottles of beer in a trash bag, put them in your trunk, and then the next morning drive them to a dumpster so that your wife doesn’t find out that there were all these empty bottles of beer in the trash can.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Recovery Elevator Retreat
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Paul Churchill | Jun 5, 2017 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Jason, with 4 years since his last drink, shares his story…………….
Sign up now, there are only 3 spots left for the RE Retreat in Bozeman, MT (www.recoveryelevator.com)
Paul reviews the GQ interview with Brad Pitt. Pitt states that he was boozing too much and learned that either you deny your feelings and stay where you are or you feel the feelings and evolve. He did not want to live that way anymore. Pitt is learning to accept the things about himself that he does not like.
SHOW NOTES
[9:13] Paul Introduces Jason
Jason – I have been sober for 4 years and live in Big Sky, MT. I am a firefighter/paramedic and enjoy outdoor activities.
[11:10] How did you meet your wife?
Jason – I had walked into a bar in the middle of a scuffle. My “soon to be” wife was on the ground and bleeding from her head. I felt the need to come to her rescue. We have been married for 9 years now.
[13:45] When did you realize that you had a problem?
Jason – I did not know I had a problem because all of my family were heavy drinkers. One night I went out with friends and drank very heavily and then drove home. The next morning I had the worst hangover of my life. I really thought I was having a medical emergency, I felt so bad.
[16:46] What were your drinking habits like?
Jason – For the last 10 years, I would get off of work and start drinking. I would spend the last 2 days of my days off sobering up. We had lots of house parties where there was plenty of drinking. My wife and I would also take yearly sailing excursions. They would turn into 2 weeks of binge drinking.
[19:48] How did you get sober?
Jason – I reached out to a family friend who has been sober for 42 years. At first I did not want to go any meetings but I had wanted my wife to stop drinking so we both ended up going to a meeting. The meeting was a total mix of people and completely changed my life.
[23:59] How do you remain sober?
Jason – I go to AA meetings. In early sobriety, I would just show up at meetings and listen. Currently, I stay very involved with my sober community. I also send out daily recovery related e-mails. It helps me stay accountable. If anyone else would like to be added to this e-mail list, send Jason and e-mail (jgras@sailingscubeadventures.com)
[29:52] Paul and Jason discuss being a grateful alcoholic
Jason – I have learned to be grateful and humble. The program has allowed me to change. It has been a journey through self-restoration.
[31:51] Paul and Jason discuss Sober Scuba Sailing Tours
Jason – My wife and I thought it would be a great idea to offer sober sailing excursions. We are organizing a trip in June. For more information on future trips, go to www.sailingscubaadventures.com and send Jason a message.
[39:42] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? that horrible hangover that made me feel like I was having a medical emergency
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? when my hangovers would last for days
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? the Big Book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tony Robbins “I’m Not Your Guru”
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? make your bed every morning, the miracle will happen
- You might be an alcoholic if…..you see a half full cocktail and think, “Now that’s alcohol abuse;” then you finish it yourself
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Recovery Elevator Retreat
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Jason’s e-mail = jgras@sailingscubaadventures.com
www.sailingscubaadventures.com
Tony Robbins – I am Not Your Guru (available on DVD and Netflix)
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
Hold on tight as we follow Paul’s journey coming off his anti-depression meds. Good luck Paul!
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Paul Churchill | Apr 10, 2017 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Heath, with 40 days since his last drink, shares his story…..
*****Please review the RE podcast in iTunes*****
Can we taper off alcohol? It is nearly impossible to cut back on alcohol because it is so addictive. Our own addictive mind lies to us and tells us that we can cut back. In all of the interviews done on the Recovery Elevator podcast, there has not been 1 interviewee who claimed they were able to moderate. If you have, send a message to info@recoveryelevator.com. Paul would love to interview you!
What happens when we try to taper down our alcohol consumption? Each day gets more painful than the last as we try to limit our drinks. We often try to implement rules to control ourselves but these never last. The question to ask yourself is, “Where does alcohol stand on your priority list?”
SHOW NOTES
[10:00] Paul Introduces Heath.
Heath – I am 40 days sober, live in Atlanta and am 41 years old. I enjoy running, working out and spending time with my 9 year old daughter.
[11:14] When did you realize that you had a problem?
Heath – I knew that I had a problem all of my life. The last few years I have been trying to get sober. I finally wanted to get sober for myself.
[12:19] Did you ever put any rules in place?
Heath – I could not drink around my wife so I needed to keep my drinking limited to 9-5. I would occasionally go without drinking for a few weeks. Being self-employed made it difficult to remain sober. I turned to marijuana and Xanax to try and get through the day. Once the Xanax ran out, I went back to drinking.
[16:19] Did you hit a rock bottom?
Heath – I had multiple accidents where I totaled cars but this time nothing big actually happened. I thought to myself that either I have to deal with this now or deal with it later.
[17:31] How did you do it?
Heath – I kept very busy the first week of sobriety. Exercise was super important and I started running every day. I also go to SMART meetings. I want to be prepared once the pink cloud dissipates. When I go to SMART meetings, I try to look for similarities. When I see that someone has relapsed, I immediately think that I do not want that to be me.
[24:23] How have your relationships changed?
Heath – I no longer carry any guilt. My wife is still skeptical that I have quit for good but my daughter is super thrilled that I am sober.
[25:30] How have your cravings been?
Heath – When I first got a craving I raced right to the gym. 45 minutes on the elliptical machine stopped that craving. Exercise releases the endorphins I need.
[27:36] What have you learned about yourself?
Heath – I am not as anxious as I thought I was. Once I got off the booze and Xanax, I was more relaxed than I had been before.
[30:00] What have you accomplished in sobriety?
Heath – I still feel very humble in sobriety. I am looking forward to getting my relationship back with my wife and possibly starting to save some money.
[ ] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? seeing the disappointment in my wife’s eyes
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Continuous moments!!
- What’s your plan moving forward? SMART meetings, exercise
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? SMART meetings and exercise
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Your drinking problem is never going to go away. You are going to have to deal with it.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? do not give up trying, your chances of recovering go up the more you try
- You might be an alcoholic if….you use a sobriety app to keep you sober
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Recovery Elevator Retreat
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
Annie Grace “This Naked Mind” video course. Find it at www.recoveryelevator.com/annie. Enter promo code elevator50 to receive $50 off
AALRM = Run for recovery in Bozeman, MT on 5/20/17. Sign up link below: https://runsignup.com/Race/MT/Bozeman/AALRMRunforRecovery
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
by Paul Churchill | Feb 27, 2017 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Henk, 5 years sober, shares his story…..
How do most people get sober? We all assume that it is through rehab or 12 step programs and that your odds are slim if you try to do it on your own (www.addiction.com). During the 1980’s an idea was promoted that the only way you could get and stay sober was through rehab programs or AA. However, a study that followed problem drinkers from 2001-2005 showed that 85% of these drinkers got sober without any outside help (a phenomenon known as spontaneous or natural remission recovery). It should be noted that the majority of these people still had strong support systems at home and in their community.
SHOW NOTEs
[ 7:53 ] How long have you been sober?
Henk – I have been sober since Sept 13, 2010. I am originally from Holland but now live in Thailand where I for work for Hope Rehab. I also love to ride motor bikes.
[ 9:30 ] When did you realize that you had a problem?
Henk – I have been in and out of various treatment facilities since I was 23. At the age of 13, I began drinking and using drugs. This quickly escalated into selling drugs at the age of 15. By the time I turned 30, I had been in 5 long term treatment programs. They did not work because I did not want to stop drinking, I just wanted the problems to stop.
[ 11:15 ] Do you think that alcohol is the gateway drink?
Henk – Yes, when I drank I became a completely different person. We believe that it is more alcohol than marijuana that leads to destructive behavior.
[ 12:29 ] Paul and Henk discuss what lead him to finally seek treatment
Henk – My family did not want anything to do with me anymore. I had racked up high debts and I could not even take care of myself. I was living in dilapidated conditions. I finally realized that you cannot run away from what is in your head. You cannot drink those thoughts away.
[ 13:37 ] What was the biggest difference between your last 2 rehabs?
Henk – I had lost everything and was mentally and physically dying. I decided that I could not go back to that kind of life.
[ 15:00 ] Paul and Henk discuss the “gift” of desperation
Henk – The gift of desperation is very painful but it helped get me clean. It made me realize what I had done to myself.
[ 16:32 ] Paul and Henk discuss the value of a fishing rod
Henk – Right after leaving treatment, I found that I had no hobbies and no friends. I had to find some type of higher power and since I had a love of nature, I decided to buy a fishing pole. Anytime I was bored, angry, and lonely or upset, I would go to the canal and sit with my fishing pole. I would feel the wind and watch the water move. It really helped settle my mind. I also bought a pair of running shoes and began running. It was time to move forward.
[ 21:47 ] Paul and Henk discuss the classroom exercise he observed while visiting Hope Rehab in Thailand
Henk – I try to make the patients understand that work is needed if you want to remain sober. Relapse rates are very high and I try to stress the importance of putting in the effort. You want to remain sober? You’ve got to do the work.
[ 25:20 ] How are you staying sober now?
Henk – My sobriety is still my #1 priority. I have a sponsor and still go to meetings, especially when I travel. Since I work in a rehab facility, I am constantly seeing new comers. It helps remind me that addiction is so painful. When I reached 1 year of sobriety myself, I had tears running down my face because I could not believe that I had done it!
[ 27:50] What are your thoughts on relapse?
Henk – Relapse is a sign of some type of reservation in recovery. As alcoholics, we can think of a million reasons to drink. Nothing that happens to you justifies a relapse. Drinking only makes it worse.
[ 30:39 ] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? Sitting by myself at Christmas one year. My life was a mess, my girlfriend had just left me and no one wanted anything to do with me.
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? When I crashed my scooter in front of all of my friends
- What’s your plan moving forward? Right now I am feeling very stable and calm in my recovery. It helps that I love where I work.
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Intherooms.com, meetings, and the book Living Sober
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? “Stop being a dick Henk!” and “Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth.”
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? The best thing you can do for yourself is get sober. I used to think that my life would be over if I could no longer party. Life has only just begun for me since I got sober.
- You might be an alcoholic if………you think alcohol is the solution
Resources mentioned in this episode:
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
