by Paul Churchill | Nov 7, 2016 | Podcast
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Christine has been sober for 129 days… This is her story…
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This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE!
SHOW NOTES
What is a dry drunk? It is someone who just doesn’t drink anymore, who has ‘quit’ using sheer willpower… ***Spoiler Alert*** Willpower eventually runs out. We need a program, something and someone to fall back on to support us. Your program can look completely unique to yourself and doesn’t just have to be AA (although many do recommend it).
When you quit using sheer willpower, sure, you become healthier, physically feeling like you’ve been born again and the memory of passing out in a Cracker Barrel buffet line begins to fade. You’ll start to gain confidence in your recent found ‘sober’ success and you say to yourself, “I did this. I quit. I got this.” (Uh-oh, those three little words, think RE #86... Problem right there!) Eventually, we will forget entirely about the Cracker Barrel buffet line, which is a problem because, A – their cornbread is fantastic and, B – that was the reason you quit drinking. That was not a highlight in your life. Studies show that humans have selective memory and we tend to remember the good things (i.e. the Cornbread) and not the bad things (i.e. the Ambulance, the Buffet Line, and the Cracker Barrel experience).
As a dry drunk, when we quit drinking, our genius plan is to simply not drink, thinking that one day we’ll be able to drink normally again. If you have this thought, don’t worry, every alcoholic has, but the dry drunks don’t ever address this or relinquish the thought. The key is to surrender.
This is what I call ‘white knuckling it’. I think everyone is white knuckling it when they quit drinking but the dry drunks keep white knuckling it. Right about the time when all the physical healing has taken place (for me, it took over a year), is when the true white knuckling takes place. It’s when Gary (Paul’s alter-ego) starts to make an appearance. It’s when ‘we’ start having the internal dialogue of justification. It’s when our unconscious minds have seen the barrage of alcohol adds on social media, television, and everywhere else our open eyes and ears look. This is when the cognitive dissonance starts to take place… Translation, we need help! We can’t do this alone…
[ 08:12 ] Paul introduces Christine.
Christine’s last drink was June 13th of 2016, about 129 days ago. She has been sober for just over 4 months. Christine grew up in a small town in central Michigan. She is now studying chemistry at Montana State University and is almost finished with her Ph.D. She loves hunting, fishing, camping and anything else outside…
[ 09:23 ] Paul talks about first meeting Christine in 2011 when he was a dry drunk and how she helped him in 2014 to make a change after hitting his bottom.
Christine remembers that Paul was hurting so badly and she was so glad that Paul gave her a call. There were lots of tears, lots and lots of tears (and it wasn’t just the horses and pastures they were passing causing an allergic reaction) as they drove down canyon from Big Sky Ski Resort where Paul was DJ-ing a wedding. Christine urged Paul to call his mom, dad, and brother, to seek support… Christine has been an integral part of Paul’s sobriety.
[ 14:03 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. What was your bottom?
“Bottoms are always defined differently… I had decided back in December of 2015 to quit drinking. I stopped drinking for 2 weeks before deciding that I wasn’t a ‘quitter’! I picked right up where I left off. I wasn’t fully committed, I hadn’t taken the steps I needed.” In June, Christine had a “what am I doing with my life” moment on her way to fishing… She had a couple beers on the road and stopped to let the dog out before getting to the fishing spot, where she realized that her bottle of whiskey had spilled everywhere. “I was horrified, my heart started to flutter and I started to panic…” On the way back from fishing, Christine smacked a deer. This really opened her eyes as so much more could have gone wrong… Christine took this as a sign that it was time to make a change.
[17:51 ] How did you do it? Walk us through the first day, the first week.
“Those first few days were such a blur. I started intensive outpatient therapy (IOP)… I was a wreck. The IOP really helped. I had a friend in West Yellowstone who I relied on heavily during my early days of sobriety. I spent a lot of time on the fishing boat out in the middle of nowhere.”
[ 19:36 ] Christine comments on how important it is to get outdoors…
“Fly fishing has just become my absolute passion. To this day, anytime I feel wrong, or off, or I have cravings, I throw whatever I’m doing to the side and head to the river.” Since being sober, Christine has not torn any waders or taken any ‘accidental’ swims in 43 degree weather! Fishing has taught Christine the beauty of being totally present.
[ 22:51 ] How much did you drink? Talk to us about your drinking habits before you quit.
“I was on an exponential curve downwards… That last month of drinking was just sliding… I was finishing almost a bottle of whiskey a day.”
“I’d use booze to handle work, to handle stress, to handle literally everything…”
[ 24:31 ] Christine talks about her bipolar diagnosis.
Christine is diagnosed with bipolar II, which is an elevated state of mood… “My doctors and counselors kept telling me that I drank too much… They told me that my moods, the ups and downs, would improve if I stopped drinking. Alcohol would just make the highs higher and the lows lower… I could just drink and drink and drink when I was in a mania state, but when I was depressed, it would drag me down and down and down…”
Christine got honest with herself and those around her…
[ 29:40 ] What changes did you see?
“The biggest part was telling people about it. When I didn’t have the strength, I had other people to keep me in line. I don’t think anybody can do it alone.” Christine lost 25lbs. just from quitting drinking. Going to bed at night is still challenging for Christine, but it’s a lot better than pounding shots to blackout. “Some days are still absolute hell, my emotions get the best of me… These are the hardest. Sometimes I head into work at 3am to keep me from drinking.”
[ 33:29 ] Walk us through a day in your life and how you stay sober today.
“I don’t really have a day to day sobriety plan. I haven’t fully gotten on board with AA, but I do go to a Friday and Saturday AA group at 9pm. I have a bunch of friends there. I listen to this podcast and participate in the Facebook Group… So many times I have looked at that and have been so thankful. I see two different counselors, an addiction counselor and a mental health counselor. Honestly, I’m so busy that I just dig my head into what I’m doing and be there and be present.”
[ 35:38 ] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? “I was 16 and I was binge drinking. I pounded 8 shots of UV-Blue and 10 minutes later was puking blue… My mom was not so thrilled.”
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? “When I smacked into that deer… I realized it was time.”
- What’s your plan moving forward? “To keep sober. I consider future events that could be triggering and talk out a plan to stay sober, making sure that I have an out.”
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? “My group at the Alcohol and Drug Services here in Bozeman, MT.”
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? “Get an accountability partner, giving them permission to call you out on your crap!”
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? “Dive in. Do it. Don’t give up. It’s going to suck at first, but a week from now it’ll be better, just keep going.”
“You Might be an Alcoholic If…”
“If you try to drink the split whiskey in the bottom of your cooler that’s mixed with the water….” (Thanks Paul!)
“If you start selling your fly rods so you can buy another bottle of whiskey.” – Christine
Resources mentioned in RE 90:
Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
Connect with Cafe RE
- For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel.
- First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator.
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up. WE can do this!”
Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
by Paul Churchill | Oct 31, 2016 | Podcast
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Zach has been sober for 3.5 years… This is his story…
Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE!
SHOW NOTES
“You gotta get through it to get to it…” Open your eyes and start to notice those around you. Often, you’ll find others who don’t drink. Talk to them, discover why they don’t drink… Some of these people quit for religious reasons, some for health, and others for personal reasons. Some are able to just quit on the spot, others not so much. Yeah, not all of us are so lucky to just suddenly decide to quit drinking… These individuals who do own up to their problems and the fortunes in their life. They take ownership. There are tons of studies highlighting different stats on sobriety (check out the links in the show notes below).
[ 10:53 ] Paul introduces Zach.
Zach has twin boys and has been sober for 3.5 years, his last drink was March 9th (4 years ago) at about 3am. Zach is 27, and born and raised in a small city just North of the Atlanta area. He has been married for two years. By day Zach is a marketer and by night he is a self-proclaimed beat-boxer for his kids.
[ 13:28 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. What led up to you quitting drinking?
“I quit 1,000 times in my own head… It’s a revolving circle.” Zach started drinking when he was about 12 years old, when he had about 3 Budweisers and remembered waking up in the pool. “I remember at that point wanting to make my life all about drinking.” Zach continued to drink all through high school… Zach got expelled from school for the last half of his senior year due to drinking. “That’s kind of where I kick-started my ‘drinking career’.” Zach was 19 when he got his second arrest due to drinking and had to spend 30 days in jail. This was the first time when Zach thought, “Ok, this is me, this is alcohol.”
[ 18:25 ] What were your drinking habits like?
The second Zach got out of jail he found a Bud Ice in a friend’s fridge and was at the bar that night, still underage. Zach usually took Mondays and Tuesdays off… In his early 20s it shifted to needing a drink to feel calm. “I started buying airplane bottles of rum. I was living with my girlfriend at the time and she knew I drank often, but I would drink all day long when she was gone and then pop a beer open when she came home in the evening, acting like it was my first drink.”
[ 21:31 ] Did you ever try to moderate?
“I’d kick liquor away and just focus on beer. I’d binge drink real hard on the weekends. Right at the end of 22 I started diving into other substances… I got into meth and then I didn’t have to drink. Once I made that leap I felt really defeated.” Zach’s own father introduced him to meth. (Unfortunately, his dad is still walking that story.) Thankfully, Zach didn’t get addicted to meth and was able to back off of that substance, which let the drinking pick back up.
[ 25:02 ] Alcohol is an extremely addictive substance. How do you feel about that?
“I completely agree. It was like relearning to walk and talk (on choosing sobriety). Everything used to spike my interest in drinking… It’s so highly addictive.”
[ 26:36 ] Zach talks about his father and living with a family of addictive patterns.
[ 28:56 ] How did you do it? Talk to us about how you got sober.
“It was just an ordinary night… I got home at about 3am. I had to crawl through the window because I couldn’t find my keys. I slept in ’til about 10am and awoke to missed calls from my girlfriend…” Zach had missed her Crossfit competition, something that was extremely important to her. “It was like the 10th time I had missed something. She was broken… Mentally, I couldn’t tell another lie. I was exhausted.” When she came home later Zach broke down and asked for help.
Those first few months were tough. “I was trying to fit in, I was not answering any phone calls. I was rationalizing it… I was white-knuckling it for about 2 mos. I was just a dry drunk…” Zach ended up at an AA meeting on his way to the liquor store… He was blown away by the diversity of the room and yet everyone was telling ‘his’ story. Zach discovered his first glance of hope at this AA meeting. “You can have a better lifestyle, a better life.”
[ 35:23 ] Zach talks about getting a sponsor and working his program. Buddy, from RE #67, became Zach’s sponsor.
[ 37:53 ] How do you stay sober today?
“I try to get up earlier than my kids so I can read… If I meet with Buddy we go through the step work, the stories or just kick it and drink some coffee… I try to hit 3 meetings a week, it allows me to share. It helps me hold myself accountable. I’m involved in a non-profit, Orphan Aid Liberia. Humility has been a big word in my recovery… Now, I can actually look outward and give back.”
[ 41:23 ] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? “Blue light. Anything to do with a cop.”
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? “Woke up one morning, my head was hurting so bad and I couldn’t find a bottle opener to open a Corona, so I smashed the bottle on the counter to get a drink.”
- What’s your plan moving forward? “To do daily amends, doing the next right thing day after day and just trying to give back.”
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? “Besides Buddy, is having AA to fellowship with.”
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? “Let go or get dragged.”
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? “There’s nothing quite like the experience of sobriety… Sobriety has given me so much more than I ever thought. You deserve this. You deserve to live whatever life you want to.”
“You Might be an Alcoholic If…”
“Your job gets in the way of your drinking.”
Resources mentioned in RE 89:
Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
Connect with Cafe RE
- For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel.
- First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator.
Recovery & Rehab Links:
Join Recovery Elevator for a Recovery Retreat Summer Camp Style in Bozeman, MT! Stay tuned… More information to come!
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up. WE can do this!”
Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
by Paul Churchill | Sep 19, 2016 | Podcast
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Kendall has been sober for 130 days… Here’s his story…
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE
- For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel.
- First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator.
recoveryelevator.com/survey
Sobriety Tracker
AA
Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
SHOW NOTES
Paul on Lowering the bar… “I have a podcast about being okay with the way things are, and I’ll admit, this episode is not perfect, there are some things left out.” Paul has been sober for 730 days. “Life at two years sober is better than life 730 days ago… My anxiety, that has pretty much gone away. But, on day 729, I had a near meltdown… The bar of expectations I had put in place for myself, had slowly risen up over the past 1 ½ years. On day 730, I realized that I needed to be kind to myself, to be patient and to get realistic. 2 years is not a long time, I still have so much more to go. On day 729, self-loathing showed up… again… I was so far out of my comfort zone, but that is where the growth happens, and that is where I have been for the past year and a half. So, I’m lowering the bar, I’m going to take the time to observe what I’ve done, what’s going on around me and enjoy the moment. What’s my plan moving forward? Well, I’m not going to change a darn thing.” Paul is taking this one day at a time… One day at a time…
[ 10:16 ] Paul Introduces Kendall:
Kendall is 28 and has been sober for 130 days. “It feels great, I’m free. I don’t have to carry the weight of being drunk.” Kendall is from Lawrence, Kansas and moved to Montana 5 years ago as a professional painter, in his free time he likes to head up into the mountains.
[ 11:25 ] What made you want to stop?
Kendall surrendered to alcohol on the anniversary of a death of a best friend who died from a drunk driving accident. Kendall reset his sobriety date after smoking a bowl after attending another funeral of a close friend.
[ 13:42 ] What were your drinking habits like?
“I would drink at least a 12-pack if not more. I’d start in the morning just to calm the jitters, then the moment I got off work the fun began.” Kendall used rules like “no hard alcohol,” “just O’Douls,” anything to maintain his sanity. “I got to drinking on the job, anything to keep my mind on alcohol.” After being dismissed from a family Christmas dinner, Kendall knew something was up.
[ 16:28 ] How did you do it? (on choosing sobriety)
Kendall utilized the rules of AA. “They spoke my language, they have a plan and they know how to do it.” Kendall felt connected once he got a sponsor, a home group and started doing service. “It works if you work it.”
[ 17:55 ] “Drinking is but a symptom…” Kendall dives into this idea.
[ 18:32 ] What was it like, your first 24 hours, 72 hours…?
“Oh boy, was that something else!” Kendall’s brain was so hard wired to drink. “The people in the world aren’t the problem, I always played the victim… It was all me. Selfish and self-centered.”
“The moment that you’re able to accept some humility, that’s when the freedom begins.” Now, in sobriety, Kendall feels like the world is brighter and clearer. He can focus, eat and sleep, and do the things we do to be able to take care of ourselves. “It’s crazy how I’m now able to read a chapter and comprehend what I’m reading… It’s a gift.”
[ 23:36 ] What have you lost to alcohol?
“I’d say I lost my job, an education, an opportunity for an education, family, friends, relationships…”
[ 24:50 ] Have cravings come and what do you do to move forward? Kendall will pray and utilize his sponsor. “One time I went to the Wal-Mart parking lot and pushed carts back just to do something, to get out of my head.”
[ 27:34 ] What does your recovery portfolio look like today?
“The moment I wake up, I pray. I have gone through “the big book and the 12 & 12”. The first 30 minutes of my day are all geared towards AA. I use the serenity prayer. The moment I get off work I go to a meeting, come home, cook dinner and go to bed. I like to keep it simple.”
[ 28:37 ] Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? “Christmas dinner when I wanted to see my family but I couldn’t because I had been dismissed because of my habits.”
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? “The morning after I had been fired for drinking on the job and I had to go meet with my boss… I just couldn’t.”
- What is your plan in sobriety moving forward? “To serve others and keep going to meetings.”
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? “My sponsor.”
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? “Keep coming back. It works if you work it.”
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to our listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? “Keep your head out of the clouds and feet on the ground. Go to your local AA meeting.”
QUOTABLES
“Sobriety is just straight up nothing.” – Paul
“Deep down I needed an answer, I needed a solution… Really, I needed to check into reality…” – Kendall
“I’m able to be Kendall, the Kendall that everybody knew that I could be when I put the bottle down.” – Kendall
“What is popular is not always right and what is right is not always popular.” – Kendall
“You might be an alcoholic if after your 3rd DUI and losing 2 best friends to alcohol, you think you still don’t have a problem with alcohol.” – Kendall
“You don’t have to hangout with people you don’t like.” – Paul
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up. WE can do this!”
Drop us a line: info@recoveryelevator.com
Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
by Paul Churchill | Sep 5, 2016 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Resources mentioned in this episode:
RE needs your input! Follow the link below to fill out a quick survey to determine the future of the RE Podcast! https://survey.libsyn.com/recoveryelevator
Connect with Cafe RE
- For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel.
- First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator.
Join Cafe RE in April for a trip to PERU! Trip details can be found here: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/peru/
Rockstars Who are Sober:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/recovery/12-rock-stars-proud-to-be-sober/#/most-popular
http://www.eonline.com/news/271628/amy-winehouse-s-cause-of-death-accidental-alcohol-poisoning-blood-level-five-times-the-legal-limit
Good reads mentioned by Julie:
Drinking: A Love Story, by Caroline Knapp
Let’s Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship, by Gail Caldwell
Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
SHOW NOTES
Paul Introduces Julie
Julie has been sober for 118 days. Julie is 46, she grew up in Annapolis and Germany. She has been working with the same marketing company for 20 years. Julie is on her 4th year in a relationship with a great guy who is a normal drinker. She loves to stay active and be outside.
What are you going to do differently this time?
Julie was sober for 129 days before relapsing at a wedding. Now, the next thing for her is to get to 130 days. Julie was “white-knuckling” it, doing it all on her own. This time around, the difference is that Julie is reaching out and connecting through Cafe RE, sober friends, and she is holding herself accountable.
Julie speaks on how to tell your friends, “I don’t drink,”
Talk to me about your bottom?
“I let down a friend. I had promised to help a friend at a certain time. I drank. And I passed out… Sleeping through my commitment.” Despite many other signs that somehow didn’t get Julie to quit for very long… this was the final trigger. “I’d have many incidents where I would stop for one to three days, but this last one was it.”
What were your drinking habits like?
“I was a wine drinker. When one (referring to either ‘red’ or ‘white’) would present a problem to me, I would switch. Sometimes it was ‘red’ and then it was ‘white.’ I don’t like beer or hard liquor. In High School I felt that my shyness was hurting me, so I started drinking to “loosen-up.” Come college, I’d be the one passed out on the couch. It never occurred to me that I had a problem. In my 30s, it got pretty scary. I started drinking alone. I just took the ball and ran with it.”
Did you ever try to “cut-back” and put rules in place?
Julie played games. The ‘red’ wine, ‘white’ wine game. She wouldn’t keep wine in the house, but would play games where she based her whole lifestyle around the wine shop hours. She used day/time constraints to “control” the drinking… Shockingly, it didn’t work. “I remember standing on my front porch thinking, drinking is my biggest problem ever.” Julie used to drink to calm her anxiety, but what she found was that drinking actually caused anxiety.
Walk me through the start of your sobriety.
“Whatever works for you, grab it and go with it!” Julie does not participate in AA, but sees it as a very valid way to support a sober journey. Julie uses the Cafe RE Facebook group to connect and create sober like-minded friends. Julie reads a lot of books, listens to podcasts, and connects with others.
What does your recovery portfolio look like today?
“In recovery, I have a whole lot more free time.” Julie is very connected to Cafe RE’s Facebook Group (unsearchable and private group).
Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? “I passed out in an Uber and the driver couldn’t wake me up when he got to my house so he called an ambulance.”
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? “I had a couple of these… My habit was that I would take my wine to bed. I wanted to be safe, so I’d take my wine to bed… If I woke up at 6am and there was still wine left, I’d finish the bottle.”
- What is your plan in sobriety moving forward? “I’m going to stick with Cafe RE, the facebook page, and continue reaching out and connecting and sharing with people.”
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Besides Cafe RE! “Drinking: A Love Story, a book by a woman who has now passed away. She wrote about her drinking story in a way that I was able to connect with.” Julie also mentions, Let’s Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship.
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? “Life is better sober.”
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to our listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? “You can do it. It is absolutely possible. You just can.” Julie recognizes that she is in early sobriety, “But, it is doable!”
- What did you lose to alcohol? “I lost a lot of self respect and I lost time. I lost evenings to red wine. But, the good news is as soon as you stop, you get those back.”
- What advice would you give to your younger self? “I wish I never started drinking. I was just fine the way I was, I didn’t need to fit it.”
- What’s on your bucket list? “My goal is to visit 50 countries by the time I’m 50, including going to the Galapagos and on a safari.”
QUOTABLES
“That’s the thing I didn’t know about our problem, it doesn’t back dial. It just picks up right where you left off.” – Julie
“There is no better time to get sober. If today is the very best day to quit alcohol, do it.” – Paul
“You might be an alcoholic is you shop for the test online that is going to tell you that you aren’t an alcoholic.” – Julie
SOBER & NOT-SO-FORTUNATE MUSICIANS
We can learn from the past. Although some stories are not so bright, we can learn from the successes and the tragedies of others. Some of the musicians below made it and are still able to share their art and creativity with the world… Unfortunately, some were not so lucky and left this world too early.
Sober Musicians
Steven Tyler – The Aerosmith frontman maintained sobriety for 12 years when he became seriously clean in 1988. Though that streak was compromised by a relapse into prescription drug addiction in 2006, Tyler checked himself into the Betty Ford Clinic three years later and has said to be dedicated to his sobriety ever since.
Neil Young – Young finally commented publicly about his sobriety two years ago, stating that he had achieved sobriety in 2011 after decades of alcohol and drug use. According to Young, he wanted to see what his life would look like from a sober perspective and has been going strong, viewing life with a new lens for over three years now.
Eric Clapton – Clapton, who has made a career off of his work with Cream as well as his solo work, has been sober since the late 1980s. He is publicly dedicated to recovery, holding benefit concerts and acting as founder of Crossroads Centre, an addiction treatment center in Antigua.
Elton John – Elton John has been sober for over 20 years. The main source of inspiration for his own sobriety was witnessing the death of Ryan White, an Indiana teenager and poster child for HIV/AIDS. John felt that as a gay man he needed to get his life together to help those suffering from HIV. According to many different sources, John claims that getting sober has been his greatest achievement.
Ringo Starr – The drummer from The Beatles has been sober since the 80s– a time which he has referred to as an “alcoholic haze.” Today, he exercises three times a week, practices daily meditation and is a vegetarian.
Tom Waits – Known for his booze-drenched voice and persona, Waits has been sober for over 20 years now and credits his wife Kathleen in helping him get there. The singer went to AA and though he’s happy to be in recovery now, says that it was a struggle.
Keith Urban – Keith Urban has battled with drug and alcohol addiction since the 90s and also salutes his wife, Nicole Kidman, for intervening and helping him achieve sobriety–though he also indirectly attributes her to be the cause of his relapse. After being sober for six years in 2004, Urban found himself drinking again after marrying Kidman and having to cope with time apart during her filming obligations. One day, after returning home from a shoot, Kidman staged an intervention. Urban reentered rehab in October 2006 and rededicated himself to sobriety.
Anthony Kiedis – Kiedis, the singer for the Red Hot Chili Peppers, has been sober for years after having grown up alongside an addict (his father) and later becoming one himself. Now, he’s dedicated to fitness and Men’s Fitness has listed him as having one of the best rock star abs.
Chris Martin – Coldplay’s front man openly talks about the days when he used to use, but he is now dedicated to clean and sober living. In fact the musician doesn’t even drink coffee today.
James Hetfield – The Metallica singer entered rehab in 2001 and has been sober ever since. His journey has been documented in the film Some Kind of Monster.
Moby – Moby is known for his straight-edge Christian (though he’s not really Christian) look but this musician had more passed-out drunk moments than revelations in the 90s. After fearing that he was going to lose his memory from all the drug use, he left New York a few years ago to start over in LA and began attending AA meetings.
David Bowie – Bowie spent decades off the wagon due to a heavy cocaine addiction, but finally kicked the habit sometime in his 50s. Now, at the age of 68, he is enjoying a full life in sobriety with model wife Iman.
Not so fortunate Musicians
Amy Winehouse – Honorable British musician Amy Winehouse died of an alcohol addiction in 2011. Known for her eclectic style and deep contralto vocals, Winehouse had much going for her but turned to drugs and alcohol due to stress and her sad life story. ***Tune in to RE81 for a full story on Amy Winehouse, her struggle and ultimate demise from alcohol.***
Whitney Houston – Singer Whitney Houston, cited by the Guinness World Records as the most awarded female act of all time, was repeatedly in and out of rehab. She passed away in 2012, allegedly as a result of her addiction.
Flava Flav – Rapper Flava Flav has had his license suspended as a result of DUIs at least 43 times.
Billie Holiday – Holiday suffered from alcoholism for most of her life. She died of pulmonary edema and heart failure caused by alcohol induced cirrhosis of the liver on July 17,1959. She was 44 years old.
Bon Scott – AC/DC singer Bon Scott died of alcohol poisoning combined with choking on his own vomit after night of heavy drinking on February 19, 1980. He was 33 years old.
Hank Williams (the original) – On January 1, 1953, Hank Williams died as a result of hemorrhages in his heart and neck. His chronic alcohol abuse was believed to be a factor in his death at age 29.
Jim Morrison – On July 3, 1971, Jim Morrison died of a heroin overdose after a night of heavy drinking (accounts are hazy and disputed, but we’re going to allow his inclusion). He was 27 years old.
John Bonham – On September 25 1980, Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham died after drinking over one liter of vodka. He died choking on his own vomit. He was 32 years old.
Keith Whitley – Country musician Keith Whitley died of alcoholism on May 9, 1989. His blood alcohol level was .47 at the time of his death. Whitley was 34 years old.
Lester Young – On March 15, 1959, Jazz musician Lester Young died from heart failure after years of alcohol abuse. He was 49 years old.
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
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by Paul Churchill | Aug 8, 2016 | Podcast
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Some of my best memories are those of camping with my family in Southern Utah. Camping growing up use to consist of fishing, catching lizards and snakes, watching the sunrise and sunsets.
It was a simple and joyous time that I spent with my family. These are fond memories. But, somewhere along the line, my camping experiences diminished, the joy of spending time in nature was replaced with hot dogs, booze and passing out.
Last weekend, I was camping with Ben (my partner in crime, my four-footed friend), we had called it a night and crawled into the back of my truck in the woods of Montana. Now, these are real woods, mountain lions, grizzlies, etc. Nature is not to be taken for granted around here. Suddenly, around 2am, I awoke to Ben’s perked ears and sounds of snapping branches. The sounds grew louder as whatever was roaming the woods got closer… I reached for my headlamp… And…
GOATS! Rocky mountain goats, a herd of them… Now, if I had been camping with hot dogs and booze I would have been PASSED OUT (probably face down in a pile of biting red ants at that!) and would never have experienced this beauty, this joy. The goats brought me out of the truck where I was then able to see the expansiveness of the sky and the stars and experience the cooling sensations of the pine trees. Nothing needed to change. I didn’t need to drink a Keystone Light or 50 of them…
I am now getting back my memories and creating new memories that are more than just a party. Memories such as this that fill me up with satisfaction, connection, and awe.
AND NOW… onto the podcast!
SHOW NOTES
Paul Introduces Westin
Westin is from Indianapolis, Indiana. He is 33, has been married for 7 years, and has an amazing little girl who is turning 4 in September. “She is the most important thing in my life alongside my sobriety.” Westin works at an addiction treatment center as a “Recovery Coach.”
How long have you been sober?
Westin has been sober for 2 years and 363 days, he is 2 days away from 3 years of sobriety! “Right now I’m in a place where I have to count days again. I’m in a weird place where I just have to count.” says Westin on his sobriety.
When did you realize it was time to quit drinking?
“My bottom was 3 years ago almost to the date. I woke up face down on my Mom’s couch, not knowing how I got there, and not knowing what happened over the past 24 hours. I was highly addicted to Klonopin and drinking on top of them. I looked up from the couch and just saw this look of utter disappointment on my Mom’s face. It was different. I had unknowingly gone through her medicine cabinet the night before, and found all sorts of pills in my pockets.”
What were your drinking habits?
“I was a blackout drinker from the age of 17. I was never trying to control it, I thought it was normal. I was proud of the amount of alcohol I could consume…” “But, I was physically addicted to it… Always struggling with anxiety and shaking. I couldn’t function without that first drink, and then the pills took over.”
What does it mean, when you’re back to counting the days?
In the early days of sobriety Westin was counting: 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, 1-year sober… Getting those next tokens, proving to himself that he could do this. “I needed the external motivation. From 2-years sober to just now I didn’t count, I didn’t need to, but now, I’m back to counting the individual days. I’ve been referencing my sobriety tracker, and just trying to get through each day. It’s not a comfortable feeling.”
The whole ‘God’ word in AA. That one word kept you from getting sober… Expand on that.
Westin discusses his “religious” philosophy and how he made AA work as an agnostic. Westin had been agnostic (without knowledge, an individual who does not claim to say whether God exists or does not exist) most of his life. AA taught Westin to own his agnosticism, his belief system. “I’m now more comfortable being honest and open with who I am, and AA taught me this. I found a way to make my beliefs, or lack thereof, work within the framework of AA.” The gift of desperation allowed Westin to take what works and leave the rest…
How did you do it? (on getting sober)
Westin went to a treatment center, Fairbanks Hospital in Indianapolis. “I looked at my wife and said, I think I need some help with this.”… “We tried to do a walk in, but like a good addict I had just finished the rest of my klonopin refill (half of the prescription), so I had to wait. I went through a 7-day long detox and then a 6-week intensive outpatient treatment.”
What emotions did you feel?
“I had anxiety through the roof. Drinking brought about terrible, terrible anxiety… But now, I didn’t have my self medicating procedures in place. I had to face it. My anxiety was peaked out for 6 months. Drinking was not an option.” “That was my first time going into treatment, I had been looking for a solution, and I just kept doing all the things that were recommended to me. I still struggle with social anxiety. I still can’t attend a basketball game or a big social event…”
What is your recovery portfolio like today?
“My recovery is inspired by my work, surrounded by people who are on this same journey. I don’t want to be that guy who is physically in shambles and I get to see that every day. I attend a minimum of 2-3 meetings a week. If I’m struggling, I hit the meetings hard.” Westin takes a holistic approach that includes: AA and the 12 steps, eating better, daily physical exercise, and alone time…
Rapid Fire Round
- What was your worst memory from drinking? “Waking up with the shakes, just yelling out in pain with the convulsion I was feeling in my body.”
- Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? “In retrospect, yes. I was drinking at my Mom’s house, everyone else had gone to bed and I’m up taking shots by myself… She comes downstairs and gives me that look like, “What is wrong with you?!” I was past the point of control.”
- What is your plan moving forward? “Continue moving forward one day at a time, continue being teachable, and sharing my experiences with others.”
- What’s your favorite resource in recovery? “Meetings are really, really important along with interactions with recovery podcasts – Recovered Podcast & Beyond Belief – and the recovery community.”
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? “Take what works and leave the rest.”
- What parting piece of guidance can you give to our listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? “If I can find a way to make this work, then literally anybody can. Anybody can find a way to make it for them.”
QUOTABLES
“I need to get plugged-in, connected back to my recovery network.” – Paul (on being in a recovery rut)
“Take what works, and leave the rest.” – Westin
You might be an alcoholic if…
“You continue to drink once everybody else has been asleep for hours.”
“If you are still thirsty at 2am in the morning.”
Resources Mentioned in this Episode
Connect with Cafe RE
- Cafe RE Meetup in Chicago Oct. 14-16 – If you’d like to join us, head over to Cafe RE!
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Recovered Podcast
Beyond Belief Podcast
Fairbanks Hospital
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Don’t forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link:
www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
