RE 298: Be Who You Are
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Karla took her last drink December 31, 2018. With 583 away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start November 11th, 2020. It’s FREE for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding your Better You…..
Melanie Beattie says “What would happen if we let go of our camouflage of adaptation? What would happen if we owned our power to be ourselves?
Would people still like us? Would they go away? Would they become angry?
There comes a time when we become willing and ready to take that risk. To continue growing, and living with ourselves, we realize we must liberate ourselves”
It’s very vulnerable to show up as our authentic selves. The more we pursue a life away from alcohol the more we walk to liberate ourselves. The humble confidence that shows up allows us to show up authentically. Remember, there’s only one you.
[7:10] Odette introduces Karla.
Karla is 33, grew up in the suburbs of Los Angeles and has lived in San Francisco for the past 7 years. She is an executive assistant for a tech company in the Bay area. She lives with her partner (fiancé!) and her puppy. For fun she’s been working on some passion projects, SoberIRL is one of those!
[10:29] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Karla said she started drinking when she was 19. She was studying abroad and hadn’t yet made friends. Drinking was an easy way to make friends. She mimicked their style of drinking. Karla called herself a “weekend warrior” in her style of drinking. It didn’t occur to her until after she stopped drinking that her drinking was beyond what someone for her stature should. By the time she was 21 she knew she had a problem. Between brown outs and black outs she was piecing together the nights out with her friends.
The juxtaposition between Karla the party girl and Karla the high achiever was a push and pull she felt deeply, but she didn’t know how to stop drinking.
[18:07] Where you stuck in this cycle for a long time?
Karla said she began seeing an alcohol counselor around the age of 25. The recommendation was to stop drinking, which she wasn’t ready for because it was also her social life. In July 2018 she was able to get 45 days. Using that time, she sought out other methods of getting sober. Until her birthday and then she drank again. Finally, on New Year’s Eve she was so hung over from the night before she couldn’t go with her partner to a party, and that was it for her.
[23:29] Tell me about the beginning of your sobriety.
Karla said she still felt those first 45 days, she was being punished because she couldn’t drink. This time around she didn’t tell anyone she was restarting, and she wanted to try to be kind to herself this time. She gave herself the grace to accept that this is difficult. She taught herself that not every thought that came into her mind was true.
[28:51] How did you find your community?
Karla said at first it was all on Instagram. She followed Holly on Instagram and drew a lot of strength from her because she saw similarities in Holly’s story. Also Bridge Club through Tempest was the first time she sat with others who wanted to live this life the same way. Karla knew she needed to find sober friends. With 8 months sober she attended the Recovery Elevator Bozeman retreat in 2019 and she felt herself really start to open up and found the ability to have fun and live life sober.
[34:21] Tell me how you feel now being an advocate for other people looking to get sober?
Karla said she never thought she would be in this position. She wanted to share being an openly sober Latina as she couldn’t find any others. She wants people to see that they can have fun and be a normal human at the same time. (Karla_is_Sober)
[37:22] Tell me about how you share so you can be the person you needed when trying to get sober.
Karla said she always felt because she was so high functioning, she couldn’t have a problem with alcohol. She told herself everything she was doing was normal. Karla wants to shed the shame and let people know that if alcohol isn’t serving you anymore, you can stop. Success doesn’t mean happiness. Karla wants people to know that people can turn their lives around and life can be so much more fulfilling.
[43:45] Do you get cravings?
Karla said not really at this point. It’s not a physical craving, it’s an emotional craving and it’s fleeting.
[45:41] Rapid Fire Round
- What is your go to response when you go to a party and someone offers you a drink?
No thanks!
- What’s your favorite NA beverage?
LaCroix Pamplemousse
- What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had in the journey?
PASS
- What is your favorite ice cream flavour?
Mint chocolate chip
- What would you say to Karla on day 1?
I love you and I’m so proud of you
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners that are thinking about ditching the booze?
You know where alcohol leads you, get first-hand experience of a life away from it.
You may have to say adios to booze…
If the DoorDash driver knocks on your door for your wine delivery, but you don’t remember ordering it.
Odette’s challenge this week:
You are good enough. Step onto the dance floor, we are waiting you!
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
- Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/10/20. It’s FREE for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
- You can find more information about our events here.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – Own your power to be yourself today, Own your power to be yourself today – I love you guys”
RE-Connect
What is RE-Connect? The opposite of addiction is connection. At RE-Connect, you’ll do just that. You’ll connect again with other humans, nature, animals, water, earth, stars, planets, plants, food, and most importantly, your authentic self. The Guanacaste...
RE Patch
This 2″ iron on patch is a great addition to any shirt, back pack, jersey, hat or whatever you’d like to attach it to. We recommend sewing it on for that extra hold. When someone says, “hey, what’s that RE patch stand for?” you can say, “I’ve ditched the booze,” or say “we are always given the chance to RE-do anything in life.”
RE 291: Do Better
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Kevin took his last drink April 11, 2020. With just over 3 months away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You…..
Receiving feedback and how to do better. After a negative comment / feedback from a listener, Odette took the comments and the feedback and is seeing this as an opportunity to do better. It seems these days that “do better” is being used more and explored. This was the universe remining her that she is worthy, the listener is worthy, and everyone is worthy. She has gratitude and love for the listener because they allowed to her see something from a different perspective. If you have feedback, please send an email to Odette.
[7:23] Odette introduces Kevin.
Kevin is 59 and originally from Philadelphia, he has lives in Florida for the past 20 years. He’s a printer and works for the schoolboard. He’s married and loves cooking, traveling and doing charcoal portraits.
[9:13] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Kevin said that when he was 7, he became the drink maker at his grandparents’ card games. He would have some whiskey and ginger ale himself. In 4th grade he was bullied, so he would go home at lunch to eat but also to do a few shots of liquor so he could deal with that. In high school he fell in with a crowd that drank and also sold drugs. He continued in that pattern until he met his now wife at the age of 33. He quit the drugs, but his drinking continued to escalate. In 2017 he spent 3 days in a psych ward, leaving there he sent to AA and a counselor, but it never really took, and he relapsed.
[12:26] Did anybody notice that all this was happening when you were so young?
Kevin said that he was a latch key kid, so his use of alcohol wasn’t noticed. And when he was in high school, he was always out of the house and with friends, so again, it wasn’t noticed. However, he says that while in high school he knew he had a bad alcohol problem on his hands.
[14:22] Did you ever reach out to somebody in those early days or was alcohol normalized in your family?
Kevin said his grandfather owned a bar and his parents had an active social life and he was a bartender at different points, so alcohol was always a part of his life.
[15:03] How did alcohol cause conflict in your marriage(s)?
Kevin said in his first marriage they were both very immature and it wasn’t ever going to last. With his second wife, he emulated her and wanted her to be proud of him. It never worked out however and he felt he was always disappointing her.
[16:40] What happened that made you want to reach out and get help?
Kevin said there were a lot of moments. Between injuries, unhealthy arguments and car accidents there were lots of red flags. He always thought he had it under control. He doesn’t have an off switch.
[18:55] What happened in April of this year?
Kevin said this time he wanted to get sober and committed to AA, he didn’t have another second chance in him. He was tired of playing the alcohol game, wondering where he would get more and having alcohol control his life.
[20:49] What do you do when you get a craving?
Kevin said he changes his environment right away. He gets out of where he is and tries to get a new headspace. In about 30 minutes time the craving is gone. He doesn’t call them alcohol cravings, but more the idea of alcohol gets in his brain.
Kevin uses the Merriam Webster app and it gives him a “word of the day”. He takes that word and tries to apply it to his sobriety throughout the day. This gives him a fresh perspective to sobriety over and over.
[23:00] Tell me about your family dynamics?
Kevin said for 24 years he was a tornado leaving a path of devastation through his marriage. They are trying to figure things out and he wants his wife to be happy and have a good life.
[26:02] What is your favorite thing about the AA program?
Kevin said the communication and connection with other people in recovery.
[28:20] Are there any other resources that have been helping you in this journey?
Kevin said he always has something going on to fill his time. Between podcasts and reading or going to meetings.
[28:58] What’s your favorite NA drink?
Iced coffee, with coffee ice cubes.
[29:36] Did you notice a change in your sugar intake?
Kevin said he never had a sweet tooth until he stopped drinking. But now he adds honey to his oats! He’s trying to scale back his sugar intake.
[30:52] What’s your go-to response when someone offers you a drink?
Kevin said he tells people “I’m an alcohol and I’m living it sober”. He has no reservations about telling people.
[31:30] Do you notice any pushback from people who you tell?
Kevin said the friends he has in Florida are accepting and have been nothing but positive.
[33:07] What are you excited about right now?
Kevin is excited about the future. He wants to get involved with helping other people in recovery.
[34:47] Has your sleep improved?
Kevin said he wasn’t a great sleeper throughout most of his life, so while that pattern remains, he’s no longer sluggish and his body doesn’t hurt. He feels rested.
[31:30] Do you have to do virtual meetings during the pandemic?
Kevin said his room has been open throughout the pandemic and he is a little unsure if he would have had success doing virtual meetings. He needs the in-person/human connections.
[39:28] Have you been able to identify triggers?
Kevin said he drank for so long that he’s unsure if he actually has triggers. He drank simply because it was part of his life.
[41:13] Rapid Fire Round
- What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had during this journey?
Realizing he could go through the day without alcohol.
- What would you say to your younger self?
Love and value yourself. You matter. You have something to offer.
- What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?
Coffee with chocolate covered espresso beans on top.
- What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze?
It’s important to stay focused and keep your sobriety in front of you. Stay focused on your interests and keep your mind active. Stress is a killer.
You may have to say adios to booze…
If you come back to your table from an open bar with 4 drinks and 2 shots in your hand and ask if anyone wants anything themselves.
Odette’s challenge this week:
Try to build a practice around your negative self-talk. Swap out the negative with a kinder message for yourself. Give yourself the love you need.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
- Recovery Elevator’s first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
- Ditching the Booze – The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
- You can find more information about our events
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE – Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube – Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to –info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – “Be the light and shine bright, you have the power to make a difference – I love you guys”
