by Paul Churchill | Sep 23, 2019 | Podcast
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Rose took her last drink on March 12, 2019. This is her story.
Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your copy on Amazon here!
On today’s episode Paul talks about Recovery Elevator Bozeman Retreat that took place this past August. One of the speakers at the retreat was a spiritual teacher that Paul has worked with, Elaine Huang, you can find out more about her here.
And a BIG thank you to the sponsors of the retreat.
Nutzo, an organic 7-nut seed butter, that provided a jar of said butter to everyone that attended!
Rise Brewing Co., provided Nitro Cold Brewed Coffee!
Fire Brew, an apple cider-based health tonic, provided shots for everyone!
And tajín, a seasoning blend of lime, chili peppers and sea salt, provided a bottle of zing for all!
The cool thing is that these sponsors wanted to be a part of this event. Thank you to Odette who worked hard in setting it all up!
SHOW NOTES
[22:20] Paul introduces Rose.
Rose is 37 years old. She is from New Zealand but is currently living in France. Rose is a physiotherapist by trade, but her degree is not recognized yet in France so she is teaching English. She is a newlywed and they have a 3-year-old son. For fun Rose likes to cook, sing, be outdoors, and go to gigs.
[25:20] Give us a background on your drinking.
Rose started drinking as a teenager. She says she grew up in a loving family but that everyone was a boozer, that it was normal. At 18 she went off to university but dropped out after 2 years because it was getting in the way of her drinking. She moved cities in search of new drinking friends and for the next 5 years was in an abusive relationship. Rose says she spent a good chunk of her 20’s getting out of, and recovering from, that relationship.
Rose then spent time on a friend’s large sailing boat and sailed to Fiji, continuing her drinking. She then went home and started studying to become a physiotherapist. Rose says she slowed her drinking down while she was studying.
[28:25] What happens next?
Rose got her degree, got a great job in a hospital where she wanted to work. In 2016 she had her son. She says after the birth of her son she fell into the ‘mommy drinking’ culture. Rose also started to feel like an imposter. Promoting health at work but doing the very opposite personally.
[32:20] Was there anything in particular that led you to ditch the booze?
Rose says a big part of it was moving to France in 2017. She found France’s drinking culture to be the polar opposite of New Zealand’s which made her feel out of place. Even though she knew she needed to stop her drinking ramped up at the beginning of this year after the death of a close friend.
[35:15] What happened on March 12th?
Rose says she had started to drink during the daytime, when she wasn’t on pick-up duty with her son. She also started smoking cigarettes. She started feeling guilty about not being present as a parent. She reached out to an American friend she had met on that sailing ship that was posting about being sober. This friend led her to Café RE.
[38:50] How did you do it?
Rose says she told her husband, creating some accountability. Her husband was very supportive. The removed all the alcohol from the house and Rose declined engagements for a while. She joined Café RE and jumped in and starting participating and getting involved.
[48:50] How have things changed in an alcohol-free life?
Rose says she’s a better mother, she’s present. She has an increase in self-love and self-worth.
[55:05] Rapid Fire Round
- What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?
Pineapple and lime sparkling water.
- What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?
I loved The Joy of Being Sober book. I also really love Josh Korda’s Dharmapunx podcast. There is a New Zealand woman named Lotta Dann and she has a book, and blog, by the same name called, Mrs. D is Going Without.
- What’s on your bucket list now that alcohol isn’t part of your life?
A lot more travel, I love to travel. To be able to help someone else get sober.
- And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Connect, connect with people. Look for the similarities and not the differences.
- You might have a drinking problem if…
You’re drinking wine out of a coffee mug just so the neighbors won’t know because it’s 11 AM on a Monday.
Upcoming retreats:
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about this event here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up.”
by Paul Churchill | Sep 9, 2019 | Podcast
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Brandi took her last drink on July 17, 2019. This is her story.
Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book was released 2 days ago! Pick up your copy on Amazon here!
On today’s episode Paul talks about one of his pet peeves…the word “ONLY”. For example, when someone says they have ‘only’ been sober for 3 days, 10 days, 2 weeks, etc.… We need to change this way of thinking, any amount of time away from alcohol is a major win.
The word ‘only’ equals limited, represents a lack of, and we want to be careful with this idea and energetic vibrations that encompass the word.
SHOW NOTES
[9:30] Paul introduces Brandi.
Brandi is from Franklin, TN. She is 48 years old and works in healthcare. She has a 12-year-old daughter and for fun Brandi likes to make her own greeting cards, write poetry, and ride horses.
[14:50] Give us a background on your drinking.
Brandi says she drank some in high school and college, but that she didn’t really enjoy it. She says it wasn’t until she was 33-34 years old that she started to see alcohol as a problem.
In 2012 she started to notice how alcohol was impacting her life, her physical wellbeing, her job, and the people around her. 2 years ago, she was drinking about 2 bottles of wine a night, every day.
[23:00] Where do you think your self-loathing came from?
Brandi says it came from a lot of things; missed moments with her daughter; lost time; missed conversations.
[33:30] Tell us how the last 2 weeks have been?
Brandi says they have been good. She felt a little of the pink cloud. She’s been trying to do things differently, like getting up earlier. She started a morning routine that includes her affirmation books.
[39:00] What’s your plan moving forward?
Brandi says she is going to be better at reaching out to people. She plans on getting back to some meetings that she has gone to in the past. Getting back to her morning routine. She wants to slowly get back to the things she enjoys doing for fun. Brandi says a big one for her is stepping outside her comfort zone.
[40:40] Rapid Fire Round
- What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve found on this journey?
How many times have I thrown wine glasses away.
- What is a memorable moment that sobriety has given you?
Sitting with my daughter, watching Disney movies, just being goofy and she put on Elton John and we just started dancing.
- What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?
Unfortunately, it’s Diet Dr. Pepper, but lemonade takes a close 2nd.
- What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?
My friends that know me, my affirmation books.
- What’s on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?
I used to travel; I want to go find a really cool place to take my daughter. I want to do the things I used to do with her and start making memories. Also, to get back into making my cards again and moving forward with dreams I had at making that part of my lifestyle.
- And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?
Even if it’s hard to step out, to reach out, it doesn’t have to be huge, just that one little thing that will change your path.
- You might have a drinking problem if…
Before you buy that next bottle of wine you have to figure out where you are in your rounds through your wine stores so you don’t hit one too soon.
Upcoming retreats:
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about this event here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Honey
This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at www.joinhoney.com/elevator . Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you’re shopping online
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – Alcohol is shit…and we both know it.”
by Paul Churchill | Aug 12, 2019 | Podcast
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Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Tiffany took her last drink on July 14, 2018. This is her story.
On today’s episode Paul talks about the DUIs he didn’t get. For those of you that may not know what a DUI is…it is Driving Under the Influence, with a BAC that is higher than .08.
Those missed DUIs, going all the way back to one in 2006, in which he was following behind a friend that was drunk behind the wheel, rolled his vehicle and passed away with a BAC of .33…were a contributing factor in Paul telling himself he didn’t have a drinking problem.
He told himself he didn’t have a drinking problem because he didn’t have any DUIs. Paul has said, ‘the only line you can cross, but cannot come back from, is death’. He hopes that Adrian’s story can help save the life of someone listening to this podcast.
SHOW NOTES
[16:05] Paul introduces Tiffany.
Tiffany is originally from Connecticut but has been in Maryland for the last 10 years. She is a property manager and a licensed captain. She is 35 years old, single and has no kids. She enjoys hiking and recently has discovered she likes to macramé, and has been doing a lot of that. DIY crafts and projects around her house bring her joy.
[18:15] Give us a background on your drinking.
Tiffany started dinking when she was in 7th grade. Drinking was the not the norm for her family or in her household growing up. It wasn’t until she was in junior high and spending more time at friends’ houses that she was exposed to drinking being the norm. Jr. high and high school was a lot of binge drinking on weekends. Towards the end of high school Tiffany was more interested in being at work, she was working at a horse farm, and partying with her friends than being at school. Work and partying became her priority and school was at the bottom of the totem pole. She says she was a big pothead and felt that she could take, or leave, alcohol.
[20:50] When did you reach the moment when you couldn’t take it, or leave it?
In 2006, when Tiffany was 21, she left everything behind and moved to New Zealand to work on a schooner. She says that is when the switch happened. Wine was everywhere. She started to think of drinking as a reward for having a hard day, rather than just something she would binge on.
[22:45] Talk to us about the years between 21 and 34.
While on the schooner they went through a bad hurricane during a voyage. Tiffany says it was terrifying, and it was at that time her drinking shifted from drinking as a reward for a hard day, to drinking to get out of her head. She says she came home from that experience different, and that it is still something she is working through.
It was at this time she was drinking to not feel her feelings, and she started to isolate rather than drink socially. In 2007 she moved to Baltimore and moved in to a neighborhood that was filled with bars, making it easy for her to drink and not be questioned.
[26:00] Get us up to speed closer to your sobriety date.
Between 2009-2012 not a lot really happened. Tiffany says her drinking stayed about the same, she was still isolating amongst her group of drinking friends. In 2014 she got into a relationship, that didn’t work out, but it was the first time she had ever heard someone refer to her as an alcoholic.
[26:45] What was it like hearing that?
Up until that time she says she had had a lot of nights that she regretted but that this was the first time she felt embarrassed. This prompted Tiffany to lean into her isolation and she let all the self-negative talk that she had for herself beat her down.
In 2017 she was so depressed and isolating that she was afraid to leave her house unless it was for work. Because she couldn’t control her drinking, she felt like she was failing in everything other than work.
[28:44] You said you knew you didn’t want to drink, but that all you knew was a life with drinking…talk to us about how that felt.
It was insanity. A snapshot of what felt like a normal day for Tiffany involved her waking up with a hangover, feeling like hell, getting herself together for work and then crying the whole way to work because she did not want to go home, because she did not want to drink again that night. Her anxiety was crippling and things just didn’t get any better. She lived like that for 3 years.
[30:20] What tipped the scales?
November 2017 Tiffany says she was at her bottom and she came across the Recovery Elevator podcast. She hit play and binge listened to the episodes for a solid 2 weeks.
[33:55] What happened between November 2017 and July 2018?
Tiffany signed up for the RE Facebook group in June 2018 and made it 30 days AF. On day 31 she walked into a store, thinking, “I got this”, and bought 5 bottles of wine and drank for 5 days. She then decided she was done, drank all the alcohol in her house, and on July 14th 2018 had her last drink.
[44:00] So you got sober outside of AA?
Tiffany says that 12 step meetings are not for her, at least not right now. She finds her peace and healing when she is outside of the rooms. Knowing that she does need to talk to people and dive into some things
she did start talk therapy.
[45:56] What’s on your bucket list?
The Asia trip is definitely being added. Tiffany says she just wants to be happy.
[47:47] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
My 18th birthday. I got so drunk I fell down the side of a mountain and my friends had to drive me home.
- When was the moment you knew you needed to quit drinking?
That is a toss up between when I heard my ex say I was an alcoholic and when I started listening to this podcast.
- What is your plan moving forward?
Keeping connection and staying social. I’m making the point to keep networking.
- What is your favorite resource in recovery?
Definitely Recovery Elevator podcast and the Café’RE group.
- In regards to sobriety what’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
That it’s ok not to have perfect day.
- What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?
If you think you have a problem you probably do.
- You might have a drinking problem if…
At the age of 15 you realize that if you only take shots, you don’t feel full, so you can drink more.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Honey
This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at www.joinhoney.com/elevator. Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you’re shopping online.
Zip Recruiter
This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Aug 5, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Daz took his last drink on November 5, 2018. This is his story.
This coming January Recovery Elevator is going to Thailand and Cambodia for 12 days. Space is limited. You can find more information about this event here
On today’s episode Paul discuses the double negative, not failing. If you find yourself struggling to say no, to picking up a drink, you are not failing. If you are not failing you are succeeding, accomplishing, flourishing, overcoming, conquering, thriving, winning, realizing your goal to become alcohol free.
Think about an accomplishment in your life that you are proud of. Did that come without a struggle? Most likely it did. That struggle did not represent failure. Growth is a big part of that struggle.
SHOW NOTES
[10:30] Paul introduces Daz.
Daz is 43 years old, has been married for 5 years, and has 2 beautiful little girls. He is from Vancouver Island and has lived in Vancouver for the last 17 years. For fun Daz plays guitar, writes and records a lot of music, and his latest addiction is knowledge in recovery.
[13:31] Give us a background on your drinking.
When Daz was 13 he had his first drink, and first drunk. At the age of 15 he was introduced to smoking pot which very quickly became a daily thing. An honor roll student until his senior year of high school, when other drugs were introduced, and things really started to nosedive.
Daz didn’t start drinking regularly until he was 19. It then quickly became a daily thing, helping him come out of his shell and be more social. It became a staple that stuck with him through his 20s.
Daz hit his rock bottom on April 20, 2005. He had gone through a really dysfunctional relationship and his life had completely veered off the path that he had expected. He was ready to throw in the towel on life. Daz called his parents at 2AM and told them he didn’t know what to do, that he thought he wanted to just go and finish it off. His parents got him to come home and that was his first attempt to get sober. It lasted a couple weeks, through the Christmas holidays, and he attended his first AA meetings while there.
When he got back to Vancouver things went back to the way they had been for about another year. He was struggling to get by, working in bars and drinking on the job. Found himself in legal trouble and soon couldn’t pay his rent. Daz says he was one step away from living on the street.
[19:00] That was early 2007, bridge the gap for us.
Daz entered a 2-month treatment center and says that was the beginning of him starting to stand up and dust himself off. It gave him time to think about what he was going to do with his life. He worked in the fitness industry for a couple years.
He started to slide back into drinking but had enough of a foundation at this time, and had left some of the other drugs behind, that things were starting to get on the right path.
He moved from the fitness industry into the software business and started performing music in the evenings. This gave him something to be excited about and even though he was still drinking he now felt he had a purpose.
Daz met his wife 7 years ago, 1.5 years later they had their first baby, and 2-3 years ago he went to the doctor and was told he had a fatty liver.
[21:55] What happened next?
He now has his 2nd baby and a fatty liver. His doctor told him if he didn’t stop drinking, he would be dead in 10 years. That was the motivation Daz needed. He had gone through the 12 steps of AA while in the treatment center but just never felt like that was for him. What he found was something called, Neuro Recover, which is an IV treatment where the person is hooked up to an IV for 8 hours a day, for 10 days. He says he soon realized that being sober is not just about not drinking, it’s about rebuilding your body.
After a few months Daz went back ‘out’. When he was ready to try again, he came with more of a plan and was going to include community. He did the IV treatment for 3 days.
On day 5 he was having back and leg pain, anxiety, and feeling frustrated. Daz says he was almost ready to go get alcohol. Instead of going to the store for alcohol he recalled reading that L-glutamine can help with alcohol cravings. Having some in his cupboard he drank some and says that instantly the craving was gone. Daz started attending SMART Recovery soon after.
[32:32] What are your qualms about AA?
Daz says his biggest qualm is the powerless aspect. He feels to overcome addiction you need to be empowered.
[39:16] What would you say to someone looking to get sober, that has tried AA, and is looking for something else?
Daz would suggest the SMART Recovery community, RE Café’ Facebook groups, L-glutamine. He would tell them to stay connected with people, and that diet is important.
[44:14] What are your thoughts on relapse?
Daz says he doesn’t think relapse is a bad thing, that it is just part of the process. He says people shouldn’t be too negative about it as long as you are continuing on and learning to understand yourself, the body, and how it works.
[47:41] Where does spirituality come into play on this journey?
Daz is not a religious person, per-se, but he thinks it’s really important for people to stop and look inward, and turn other things off.
[48:50] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
Driving down the road and not being able to keep his hands on the steering wheel because he was shaking so badly.
- What is your plan moving forward?
My plan moving forward is to finish my website that I have been working on, like I said, it’s EmpoweredNotPowerless.com. Continue going to SMART meetings and I have some people that I am close to and to just continue to help each other. To continue to lead by example.
- What is your favorite resource?
Get yourself some glutamine, don’t leave out the supplementation part of recovery. You’ve been killing yourself for years and your body needs to heal itself. I would also shout out Omar Pinto and the SHAIR podcast. Another book I would recommend is Addicted to the Monkey Mind.
- What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?
When it feels like it’s impossible, it’s not.
- You might have a drinking problem if…
You need to pull over on the side of the road because you can’t control your shaking.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
by Paul Churchill | Jul 29, 2019 | Podcast
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe to the Recovery Elevator Podcast Apple Podcasts | | More
Arlina took her last drink on April 22, 1994 and has been alcohol free for 25 years. This is her story.
On today’s episode Paul discuses an article that a listener sent him regarding the term, ‘sober curious’. This article was published in the New York Times and can be found here.
What is sober curious? The term is pretty straight forward, it refers to those that are curious about exploring a life without alcohol. But it can be unpacked even more. To some, sober curious may mean that they never had a drinking problem, but they had a problem drinking. In the article the author describes the sober curious as young professionals that are kind of, just a little bit, addicted to booze.
Paul feels that that bulk of this demographic of sober curious people are what would be referred to as high bottom drunks. They are beginning to experience consequences from their drinking and they are becoming curious to what a life without alcohol would look like.
SHOW NOTES
[9:30] Paul introduces Arlina.
Arlina is 50 years old and had her last drink on her 25th birthday. She grew up in Silicon Valley. She is married and has 2 sons. Arlina has a podcast, enjoys yoga, hiking and going for walks. She is soon to be the owner of a bulldog puppy.
[15:05] Give us a background on your drinking.
Arlina says she feels her drinking was garden variety. She started drinking at a young age, between 8-10 years old, and says she didn’t realize how bad she felt until she felt good from drinking. She says from her first drink to her last she wanted to be anybody but herself.
[19:00] Was there a rock bottom moment that led up to you having your last drink on your 25th birthday?
Arlina says she had a series of rock-bottom moments. She never knew what emotion to expect when she would drink, she would either be crying or fighting. Even after a night out with her sister, in which Arlina got drunk, punched her windshield a couple times, breaking it, kicked her sister (who was driving) in the face, her sister getting help from the neighbors, the police being called, and waking up with that incomprehensible demoralization, it took hearing that her sister had gone to Al-anon for her to connect her drinking with alcoholism. Arlina wrestled with that thought for 2 years.
[23:20] Talk to us about when you finally reached that conclusion.
Arlina says it was a very humbling experience because she had defined alcoholism as something so negative. Hating who she was anyway and then adding alcoholic and drug addict to it was overwhelming. What had been her solution had become her executioner.
[25:55] What was it like in early sobriety?
Arlina says it was overwhelming, but that she was relieved of the obsession to consume alcohol the day after her birthday. She discovered she was kind of high maintenance. She needed a morning routine, turning her life and her will over to God, and had to nurture a conscious contact with God throughout the day. She attended a lot of meetings a week and service played a large part.
[31:22] Let’s talk about the why behind your drinking. Do you agree that alcohol is but a symptom?
Arlina agrees 100% that alcohol is but a symptom. She says she las learned that the brain will try and protect you from your pain, and if you can’t get out of it, it will develop a distraction, and that could be alcoholism or any other addiction. Time does not heal all wounds; pain waits and lessons are repeated until they are learned.
[37:27] Earlier you talked about chasing a feeling, how do you chase that feeling without alcohol.
Arlina says the feeling that she was chasing was relief. She likes to feel happiness and joy and she finds that in the service work she does. When she can do something to alleviate someone else’s suffering she feels like she is fulfilling her purpose and that is when she feels the most joy.
[42:00] Talk to us about your podcast, The ODAAT Chat. **Arlina also has a website by the same name and you can find it here.
Arlina originally started a sales podcast, but says it was really on her heart to do one on recovery. She was conflicted because in the 12 traditions it says to maintain our anonymity at the level of press, radio and film. Following the tragic death of a friend, who had attended a 6 AM meeting called ODAAT, she decided to be bold and follow her heart. The podcast has added some pressure but also has brought joy to Arlina.
[46:40] Rapid Fire Round
- Worst memory from drinking?
Puking my guts out at a San Francisco Giants game in front of a whole bunch of fancy people.
- Year 26, how’s it going to happen?
It’s going to happen one day at a time. This morning I went for a walk and broke out an amazing book called Jesus Calling and read that. I drew my Gabby Bernstein card and I use the Headspace app to do some meditation and I find if I do that routine in the morning my day goes so much better.
- In regards to sobriety what is the best advice you have ever received?
Follow your heart.
- What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?
Open your mind and your heart and you’ll be amazed before you are halfway through.
- You might be an alcoholic if…
You end up in an AA meeting.
Upcoming retreats:
Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019
Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020
You can find more information about these events here
Resources mentioned in this episode:
BetterHelp
Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/15/style/sober-curious.html
http://odaatchat.com/
Connect with Cafe RE– Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
Sobriety Tracker Android
Sober Selfies! – Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”
